Jennifer Thomson's Blog, page 2

Butcher City (Detective in a Coma Book 2) - the follow up to Vile City - is available now

"Sometimes the monsters are real."
Out now Detective In a Coma book 2 
"A tough case and your partner is sleeping on the job."

A killer is stalking victims on Glasgow’s streets. Men are being abducted, tied up, force-fed, then strangled and their livers removed.
DI Duncan Waddell is facing his most bizarre case yet. Meanwhile, his best friend and colleague Stevie, is comatose in Intensive Care. But talking to him, and only him.
A career criminal comes forward claiming he was targeted by the killer but managed to get away.
Is this the breakthrough the team needs? Is this witness a genuine link to the disturbing madness of the case?

~Out now from Jennifer Lee Thomson @jenthom72 and Diamond Crime~ 
#ButcherCity the follow up to VILE CITY

Amazon UK Kindle 

Amazon UK Paperback
#Kindle #paperback

Thanks to Mystery People & Dot Marshall-Gent for their review of Vile City

 Vile City got the review treatment in the latest edition of Mystery People.

Here's what reviwer Dot Marshall-Gent said -

SOLVED: The tragic case of Renee and baby Andrew MacRae - murdered by his own father

SOLVED - ONE OF SCOTLAND'S MOST BAFFLING UNSOLVED MURDER CASES dating back to 1976 has now been solved. 
In September 2022, William MacDowell, who was the man Renee MacRae had been having an affair with and allegedly meeting on the night of her death, was convicted of her murder and the killing of her 3-year-old son Andrew who was also his son. Their bodies have never been found. 
MacDowell who tried to blame the dead woman's husband for her murder, was given a minimum sentence of 30 years. As he's 80 years old, he's expected to die in prison. 
Renee who was described as a devoted mum, left behind an older son. Rennies sister and the police I have called on the callous killer to reveal where the bodies are buried.
Read on if you want to know more about the tragic case- 
The last picture of Renee and little Andrew
Usually when a child goes missing they don't have either of their parents with them. But in the case of the longest open missing persons case In Britain's history, 3-year-old son Andrew was with his mother Renee MacRae when he disappeared along with her, way back in 1976.
Renee was separated from her husband Gordon and dropped her oldest son Gordon who was 9-year-old off at her husband's in Inverness. She was meant to be going to see her sister in Kilmarnockand she was heading that way in her BMW when she was last seen.

The burning car

12 miles away that very same night, a train driver spotted a burning car in an isolated lay-by. It turned out to be Renee MacRae's car.
No trace of either her or the little boy was found. All that police found was a rug stained with blood that was tested and matched MacRae's blood type.
What happened to Renee and little Andrew?

So, how did a car carrying a mother and her child end up on fire and more importantly, where were Renee and little Andrew? Despite an intensive search no trace of either them was ever found.
The Sightings

Witnesses spotted a man dragging what looked like a dead sheep along the road where the mother and child were last spotted driving along. Renee MacRae was wearing a sheepskin coat when she was last seen.
Other witnesses saw a man with a pushchair near the quarry. Could it have been the little boy's?
The Theories

Unbeknown to her husband Renee had been having an affair with a married man called Bill MacDowell who worked for her husband. According to Renee's best friend she'd been going to see him that night and not her sister as she claimed. 

What's more she confided in her friend that wee Andrew was her lover's son. This friend claimed that Renee was planning to start a new life with her lover.
If that was true, Renee never got the chance of happiness. Her little boy never got the chance to enjoy his childhood.
Whatever happened to the pair that night it seems certain that they were murdered. Will their bodies ever be found so they can rest in peace?
Some hope

The man in charge of the search, Detective Sergeant Cathcart was convinced he'd found Renee and Andrew in a quarry after removing the topsoil and being hit with the stench of what he believed to be corpses. He hired a bulldozer, but was ordered to stop digging by a senior officer because the vehicle had to go back to the contractors due to lack of money.
Over twenty years later, the quarry was dug up again but there were no sign of any bodies. Had they been removed? We'll never know.
Could the tragic pair be buried beneath this motorway?

The prime suspect

Bill MacDowell, Renee's lover was the main person of interest. At one stage he went into a police station to make a statement, but was dragged out by his wife.
Had he been about to confess? He denied any involvement in Renee and Andrew's murder.
The prevailing theory appears to be that mother and child were killed and buried under the A9 motorway that was being upgraded. If that is this case, maybe one day future roadworks will give all unearth the tragic pair.
Update - See "Suspect in MacRae case fled to US http://www.scotsman.com/news/suspect-in-macrae-case-fled-to-the-us-1-4383307

UPDATE - On September 2019 a 77-year-old man later named as William MacDowell was charged with the murders of Renee and little Andrew. MacDowell is allegedly the man Renee was having an affair with and who she was meant to be travelling to meet on the fateful night she went missing. There were rumours he was little Andrew's biological father.

SOLVED: The tragic case of Renee and Andrew MacRae

SOLVED - ONE OF SCOTLAND'S MOST BAFFLING UNSOLVED MURDER CASES dating back to 1976 has now been solved. 
In September 2022, William MacDowell, who was the man Renee MacRae had been having an affair with and allegedly meeting on the night of her death, was convicted of her murder and the killing of her 3-year-old son Andrew who was also his son. Their bodies have never been found. 
MacDowell who tried to blame the dead woman's husband for her murder, was given a minimum sentence of 30 years. As he's 80 years old, he's expected to die in prison. 
Renee who was described as a devoted mum, left behind an older son. Rennies sister and the police I have called on the callous killer to reveal where the bodies are buried.
Read on if you want to know more about the tragic case- 
The last picture of Renee and little Andrew
Usually when a child goes missing they don't have either of their parents with them. But in the case of the longest open missing persons case In Britain's history, 3-year-old son Andrew was with his mother Renee MacRae when he disappeared along with her, way back in 1976.
Renee was separated from her husband Gordon and dropped her oldest son Gordon who was 9-year-old off at her husband's in Inverness. She was meant to be going to see her sister in Kilmarnockand she was heading that way in her BMW when she was last seen.

The burning car

12 miles away that very same night, a train driver spotted a burning car in an isolated lay-by. It turned out to be Renee MacRae's car.
No trace of either her or the little boy was found. All that police found was a rug stained with blood that was tested and matched MacRae's blood type.
What happened to Renee and little Andrew?

So, how did a car carrying a mother and her child end up on fire and more importantly, where were Renee and little Andrew? Despite an intensive search no trace of either them was ever found.
The Sightings

Witnesses spotted a man dragging what looked like a dead sheep along the road where the mother and child were last spotted driving along. Renee MacRae was wearing a sheepskin coat when she was last seen.
Other witnesses saw a man with a pushchair near the quarry. Could it have been the little boy's?
The Theories

Unbeknown to her husband Renee had been having an affair with a married man called Bill MacDowell who worked for her husband. According to Renee's best friend she'd been going to see him that night and not her sister as she claimed. 

What's more she confided in her friend that wee Andrew was her lover's son. This friend claimed that Renee was planning to start a new life with her lover.
If that was true, Renee never got the chance of happiness. Her little boy never got the chance to enjoy his childhood.
Whatever happened to the pair that night it seems certain that they were murdered. Will their bodies ever be found so they can rest in peace?
Some hope

The man in charge of the search, Detective Sergeant Cathcart was convinced he'd found Renee and Andrew in a quarry after removing the topsoil and being hit with the stench of what he believed to be corpses. He hired a bulldozer, but was ordered to stop digging by a senior officer because the vehicle had to go back to the contractors due to lack of money.
Over twenty years later, the quarry was dug up again but there were no sign of any bodies. Had they been removed? We'll never know.
Could the tragic pair be buried beneath this motorway?

The prime suspect

Bill MacDowell, Renee's lover was the main person of interest. At one stage he went into a police station to make a statement, but was dragged out by his wife.
Had he been about to confess? He denied any involvement in Renee and Andrew's murder.
The prevailing theory appears to be that mother and child were killed and buried under the A9 motorway that was being upgraded. If that is this case, maybe one day future roadworks will give all unearth the tragic pair.
Update - See "Suspect in MacRae case fled to US http://www.scotsman.com/news/suspect-in-macrae-case-fled-to-the-us-1-4383307

UPDATE - On September 2019 a 77-year-old man later named as William MacDowell was charged with the murders of Renee and little Andrew. MacDowell is allegedly the man Renee was having an affair with and who she was meant to be travelling to meet on the fateful night she went missing. There were rumours he was little Andrew's biological father.

"The contrasting viewpoints create a plot that is fast, forceful, and absorbing" - Vile City review from Dot Marshall-Gent

A new review for Vile City on Promoting Crime
"the writer creates two intriguing characters who often defy readers’ expectations."

Thursday, 15 September 2022‘Detective in a Coma: Vile City’ by Jennifer Lee Thomson

Published by Diamond Books Ltd,
24 November 2021.
ISBN: 978-1-83840268-6 (PB)

When Detective Sergeant Stevie Campbell is assaulted on duty, he cheats death, but only just, and whilst he languishes in hospital, DS Brian McKeith has taken his place on Detective Inspector Waddell’s team.  McKeith has yet to impress his new boss who is wading through the in-tray from Hell that includes a spate of robberies as well as two missing women. To make matters worse, the new DS has just informed Waddell that another woman has disappeared.  This time, however, there is a witness.  Shelley’s boyfriend was also attacked, and the detectives are hoping that he might be able to give them a lead.

The third person narrative moves primarily between the perspectives of Waddell and Shelley, though other points of view are also related.  This juxtaposition creates an almost cinematographic feel to the story as it flips from the police investigation to the description of the imprisoned woman.  Waddell’s team must first determine whether there is a link between the women who have disappeared. Shelley on the other hand does not wait for the cavalry to arrive and makes a series of valiant attempts to escape her captives.  By foregrounding these two points of view, the writer creates two intriguing characters who often defy readers’ expectations.

The contrasting viewpoints create a plot that is fast, forceful, and absorbing. There are several scenes of brutality and some graphic depictions of sex trafficking, that are hard to read.  Crucially, though, the writer has provided female characters who are combative and resourceful.  There are also moments of poignancy.  For example, when Waddell visits Stevie in hospital he is clearly traumatised to see his erstwhile partner’s condition; sometimes he believes he is conversing with his old pal, and this causes him to doubt his sanity.  Similarly, Shelley’s valiant attempts to escape provoke empathy as well as admiration.

Detective in a Coma: Vile City is a tough Scottish thriller that explores the appalling trade in human beings.  It also examines how resilience and determination can carry us through the worst of times.  If gritty crime is your thing, you’ll enjoy this book.  I did, particularly the deliciously, dark twist at the end.
------
Reviewer: Dot Marshall-Gent

Jennifer Lee Thomson is an award-winning crime writer who has been scribbling away all her life. She also writes as Jenny Thomson and is an animal and human rights advocate.

Dot Marshall-Gent worked in the emergency services for twenty years first as a police officer, then as a paramedic and finally as a fire control officer before graduating from King’s College, London as a teacher of English in her mid-forties.  She completed a M.A. in Special and Inclusive Education at the Institute of Education, London and now teaches part-time and writes mainly about educational issues.  Dot sings jazz and country music and plays guitar, banjo and piano as well as being addicted to reading mystery and crime fiction.  
Thanks to Mystery People and Dot Marshall-Gent. You can check out the Mystery People website here

5 things telenovelas can teach you about writing

Kate del Castillo the Queen of telenovelas (Photo (c) Netflix)

I came across some telenovelas on Netflix - and now I'm hooked. 
In case you don't know what a telenovela is, it combines the words television and novel for good reason. A telenovela is a serial drama mainly made in Latin America so usually in Spanish. Usually there's a hint of soap opera about them and they are very dramatic. 
My favourites so far have been Ingobernable (starring Kate del Castillo the Queen of telenovelas as the First Lady of Mexico), La Reina del Sur (the English language version is Queen of the South and it's about Teresa Mendoza who goes from grieving woman to drug lord - also played by Kate del Castillo) and The Marked Heart (A woman who's given the heart of a young mother who is murdered for her organs becomes part of her reluctant donor's family life). 
Watching them isn't just entertaining, it's also taught me a few things about writing - 
Telenovelas have lots of "WOW" moments 

1. How to keep people interested by using twists and turns - telenovelas seem to have a twist every 5-minutes. There is never a dull moment. If a telenovela was a book you would never put it down. At least not because you were bored. 
2. Having lots of characters isn't necessarily a bad thing - when it comes to the plot it gives you much more room for manoeuvre. Characters that seem like peripheral ones at the start can be given more of a storyline that can be just as good as the main storyline. Many characters means lots of threads to pull. Lots of subplots. 


Too much telling not showing in dialogue
3. How not to write dialogue - one thing that's very noticeable about telenovelas is the use (or should that be abuse?) of information dumping in dialogue.
Example - "I know that you found the letter in the jewellery box and read it and found out about me stealing the baby from the woman who lived downstairs."

Give your big reveals time to breathe
4. Give your big reveals time to breathe - they don't tend to do this in telenovellas which often means the big "WOW" moment you get is so fast you don't get to savour it. When writing your novel, give readers the chance to think, "WOW, I didn't see that coming" and to react to their surprise and absorb what it means for the story. 
5. Think about the music that would accompany the scenes in your novel - Telenovelas make use of music to illustrate what's happening in the story very well. 

Girl in the picture: Review - one of the most remarkable true crime documentaries you will ever watch

Photo: Netlix

Girl in the picture is one of the most remarkable true crime documentaries you will ever watch. It does something that not all true crime does and brings to life the person who was murdered to such an extent that you almost feel as if they are sitting watching it with you and saying "this is my story."

In this documentary, they speak to the woman's friends and the love and admiration for her shines out in amidst all the darkness of what happened to her. Despite the grim details of her life she was a good friend, vivacious and kind and everyone who met her instantly loved her whether it was at high school, the trailer park where she lived for a time, or the strip joint where she was forced to work by the man who always told her he was her father. 

She was super smart, driven and it was obvious she would have achieved amazing things. Had she lived long enough.

Best thing is you probably won't remember the killer's name

Another thing Girl in the Picture does amazingly well is put the perpetrator very much in the background. This documentary is no glorification or attempt to understand an evil man's actions. It's more a testimony of how a beautiful person inside and out with an intelligent mind, who had a scholarship to one of America's top colleges, was robbed of her future by a paedophile.

A truly shocking tale

The story doesn't seem that unusual when you first hear it. A woman is found seriously wounded after a suspected hit and run. It seems like a straightforward case. But when the police try to identify the woman who later dies of her injuries after battling against the odds to stay alive for 5 days, so begins an investigation with a plot more complex than any crime thriller I have ever read.

The police visit the lady they believe to be this young woman's mother to tell her that her daughter is dead which comes as a surprise. Her daughter died at the age of just 18 months. The woman on the road can't be her daughter so who is she?

And so begins a search for the truth that last for years with so many twists and turns at times you feel giddy. Imagine being the young woman who had to live through that all. And we do. Every vile detail feels like a boot in the gut.

The search reveals some horrifying details of the horrendous cruelties inflicted upon this young woman by a stepfather who abducted her when she was just 5 years old and later kidnapped and murdered her 6-year old son.

Suzanne was adbucted when she was 5

In case you haven't watched the show, I won't give the game away about what transpires. So, no spoiler alerts needed.

Thanks to these dedicated people who stopped at nothing to get to the truth, both law enforcement, jornalists and resaearchers, Suzanne Sevakis finally has her real name on her gravestone. She has people who truly mourn her. Her daughter can visit her mom's grave.

Yet, still you are left reeling with a feeling of deep sadness that this amazing young woman never got to fulfil her potential because of a sick psychopath. 

Girl in the Picture is on Netflix. 

Who was Peg Entwistle the Hollywood sign (jump) girl?

I'd heard the story of the actress who's said to have jumped from the H of the Hollywood sign to her death. But until I watched the Netflix miniseries Hollywood, I hadn't delved into what happened. 
Why would a beautiful, young, rising star in Hollywood who starred in a stage play with one of the greatest actors ever Humphrey Bogart throw herself from the very same Hollywood sign that had so first entranced her when she'd arrived in town as a teenager brimming with dreams?
The full story of what I discovered both fascinated and saddened me because I felt as if I was reading the story of an actor who died too soon. 
Peg's parents, both actors, had a very acrimonious divorce where - according to the BBC - her mother stated that she'd never loved her husband or her five-year-old daughter.

The psychological impact that might have had on such a young child can only be guessed at but can't have helped her mental state. But that wasn't tragic Peg's only heartbreak. 


Triple heartbreak for Peg 
In 1921 her stepmother actress Lauretta Ross died from meningitis. Peg adored her.

In 1922, 6 years after they'd immigrated to New York from the UK, Peg's beloved father Robert was killed in a hit and run. Peg was 13 at the time. Her uncle, an agent to an established Hollywood star took her and her two step-brothers who were now orphans into his home.
At the age of just 19, Peg married actor Robert Keith, a man who she later divorced for cruelty and failing to tell her he'd been married before and had a little boy who was 6*.


Behind the Hollywood glamour
there's heartbreak
In a career path full of disappointment and backstabbing, Peg might not have had the tools necessary to deal with disappointment even although she was used to it in her turbulent personal life.
But what led her to leap to her death (no foul play was ever suspected far less proved) at the point where she was starting to make it in Hollywood?
Peg was cast in her first and only movie Thirteen Women but after test audiences watched it her role was cut back. Even worse, her contract with film studio RKO was cut leaving her demoralised and penniless. The die had been cast.
Leaving a note saying she was off to visit friends, Peg made her last, tragic climb. She wasn't found for two days and only after another woman found her shoes and bag near the famous Hollywood sign along with a jacket that contained a goodbye note.
One thing they can't take away from Peg Entwistle is her influence on Bette Davis, one of the biggest Hollywood stars of all time.  She credits seeing Peg acting in the theatre play The Wild Duck as her inspiration for becoming an actress herself.
Without Peg Entwistle, we might never have got to see Bette Davis's eyes light up the screen. But the main reason Peg Entwistle will never be forgotten is that maybe in her crushed dreams we see our own. 
*Tragically his son, Brian Keith, later ended his own life using a shotgun at the age of 75. He had lung cancer and had lost his daughter Daisy to suicide. He has a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame. 

Making a Murderer - the Night Stalker

Are some people born evil?

The question is often asked whether the monsters who commit evil crimes are the product of nature, i.e they were born that way and nothing could have prevented their evil course, or nurture, i.e their life experiences shaped them into who they were. 

In the case of Richard Ramirez otherwise known as the Night Stalker, the subject of a gripping Netflix documentary outlining how he was caught, it would appear at first that he was born evil incarnate. 
Those who were raped, bludgeoned and stabbed and throttled by one of the most notorious serial killers to have ever scorched this earth, would probably say he was the devil. That the devil came to their homes. 
But on watching the Netflix documentary there were a few throwaway facts about Ramirez that were never fully explored, possibly because no one wanted to make any excuses for such a unapologetically sick killer. 
These facts that would point to Ramirez being the result of nurture, or in his case the lack of any decency in those who should have taken care of him.


Fact 1 - When Ramirez was just 12 years-old, his cousin Miguel (known as Mike) would show him pictures of war crimes he says he committed whilst in the US army. Those pictures are said to have included ones of a dead Vietnamese woman he raped. She'd been decapitated.
Could that be the source of Richard Ramirez's sick compulsion to rape and brutalise not just women but children? 
Could being shown such vile images at a young and impressionable age have led Ramirez to think that sex and violence were intrinsically linked snd resulted in him recreating the kind of brutality and inhumanity his uncle had shown his alleged victims? 
Fact 2 - The very same vile cousin Mike shot his wife in the face and killed her in front of the young Ramirez. 
Again, we have someone young and impressionable seeing someone he looked up to commit cold-blooded murder. A man who would smoke cannabis with the boy. 
Is there a possibility that had he not been shown any photographs or seen his cousin murder his wife, he wouldn't have gone on on to become one of them worst human beings to have ever lived? 
The answers is we will never really know. 
Lessons on breaking into homes 
Fact 3 - After his cousin killed his wife, Ramirez was sent to live with his sister and her husband. Her husband was a peeping tom and used to take Ramirez with him as he peeped on women. 
Is that how the man also known as the Walk-in Killer was able to sneak into his victims homes? Had he not been shown how to creep about undetected by his brother-in-law would he have been able to sneak up on his victims?
The making of a serial killer
If there was ever a set of circumstances that created a serial killer Ramirez's would be almost textbook. And that's before we even looked at his childhood brought up in a home with a violent father.
Whether Ramirez was made and not born a despicable human being, his being dead makes the city he held in the grips of fear, Los Angeles a much safer place. 

Thanks to Kim Basinger people know the truth about my agoraphobia

The actress recently revealed she has agoraphobia

‘Why do you have to be like this - you know you're just making things difficult for yourself?’

As someone with agoraphobia, I have heard that a lot. There's a misconception amongst some people - not everyone - that a phobia is just something you can easily get over. Just try facing up to your fear/s by doing some anti-sensitivity training. Force yourself to face up to whatever it is you fear whether that's spiders, heights, or in my case the fear of open spaces and people. Then your phobia will be gone. 

If only it were that easy. 

It seems that sometimes the only time some people acknowledge that you have a genuine health problem is when a celebrity has the same thing. In my case, Kim Basinger's recent revelation that she suffers from agoraphobia has shone the light on a condition that so many people have in the UK. According to the NHS, 2% of people in the UK have a panic disorder with a third of them having agoraphobia. 

When I was growing up in the 80s (I'm showing my age now) Kim Basinger was one of the best-known actresses. She was beautiful and had an amazing smile and a lot of women wanted to have hair like her. 

In recent years, she disappeared from public view. I thought she'd chosen to take time away from acting or had been the victim of Hollywood's ageism where leading men get to age whilst the women they star opposite get younger. I had no idea that this beautiful, outwardly self-confident woman had something in common with little old me, namely that she has agoraphobia.

That wasn't until recently when she appeared on Jada Pinkett's Red Table Talk with her daughter Ireland Baldwin to talk about the anxiety that left her struggling to leave her home. I found myself for the very first time in my life identifying with a beautiful Hollywood actress as she spoke about the paralysing anxiety.

I'm not a movie star (I wish) but I know exactly what she's going through. For over 20-years I have also suffered from agoraphobia and anxiety. I can leave my house but only if accompanied by other people or my rescue dog Harley, a huge goofy hound who is my untrained therapy dog. 


My therapy dog

On the very rare occasions I do try to venture out alone I am struck by a paralysing fear that sends me spiralling and I have to get home. I struggle to breathe and feel as if I'm having an asthma attack that no medication can help with. My heart is pounding and my chest feels fit to burst. A friend who witnessed this once thought I was having the worst panic attack should have ever seen. She was so worried she wanted to call an ambulance. 

Basinger says her anxiety was triggered when she visited a health food store in California and was overcome by overwhelming anxiety that caused her to flee the store. 

What started it all

In my case, I know exactly what the trigger was but not when - the bullying I suffered at school and home during my teenage years. Unlike the Oscar-winning actress, I can't pinpoint one single event that caused it, just a multiple series of events that eroded my confidence and feeling of self-worth. I became scared to go out. 

Agoraphobia is much misunderstood. I've had some people tell me I should just pull myself together as if I have chosen to be this way. Relatives have also told me just to dope myself up with medication so I can attend family events. Again, they don't understand. It's not as if I don't want to go out, it's that I can't. 

I have tried therapy, both cognitive-behavioural research and hypnotherapy (I wasn't very good at getting hypnotised apparently), meditation and reading various self-help books but nothing has helped. I can also confirm that the drugs don't work - at least for me. I've been on various medications for years and there's no change. 

For me, the cognitive behavioural therapy that seems to be successful with lots of other people, actually made my condition worse. Before CBT, I'd had OCD and hypervigilance as part of the side effects of my agoraphobia.  After having the cognitive behavioural therapy, they were worse. Like they were on steroids. 

When I had the honour of having the book launch for what was then my first novel Vile City, the first book in my Detective in a Coma series at the architecturally stunning Waterstones store in Glasgow Argyle Street, I couldn't even enjoy my big night. My doctor had given me tranquillizers and anti-anxiety medication but my nerves were still shot. During what should have been a night of celebration I just felt terrified and wanted to go home. I was constantly in the grip of panic. 

I won a novel writing award but couldn't go to collect my trophy

A few years before that when I won an award for my first crime novel, I couldn't even attend the prize-winning ceremony. Agoraphobia made me a prisoner in my own home and continues to do so. The late great Alanna Knight was going to hand me the prize that night but even knowing that wasn't enough to get rid of the black cloud that was hanging over me. I couldn't attend. 

‘What were you like before you had this wrong with you’ one of my writing friends online recently asked. I honestly don't know because it was so long ago. With something like agoraphobia, once it gets its tentacles on you, it's hard to get it to let go. 

As for the future who knows. It isn't as if I can just snap out of this as it’s a family member once said. If only it were that easy. But at least thanks to a certain actress family and friends know what a struggle things are for me.