Isabella's Blog, page 3

Bullies in a group!

I originally wanted to blog about how you decide what type of undergarments you have your character wear. Boxers, briefs or commando. While it seems like a silly question we often have to get our characters out of their clothing to get to the good stuff. But the topic of bullying has been on the forefront lately. Having been bullied in different ways, because of my orientation, anonymously from people I work with in education, to people on the streets, I thought about it for a long time. Then I watched as something happened in a yahoo group. I noticed that there are a group of people who bully in a group setting using email.

Surprised? I’m not. I teach online and I have encountered behavior that would never fly in the classroom. Things are said from the comfort of our office chair that would never, ever be said face to face, and yet it is allowed under the guise of “free speech”. Well it is destructive at best, demoralizing at worst and uncalled for. We have all seen them, the drive by email bully who doesn’t single someone out, but bullies without naming names. He/she talks about the larger group and then singles out a few general people, authors, publishers or titles he/she has issues with. By bullying the collective group, many don’t think it is about them, because, “surely he/she isn’t talking about me” or “I wonder who he/she means?” If the bully is the moderator of the group, there is little you can do. You can call them on it, but ultimately they own the group. It isn’t a democracy in those groups, it is a dictatorship, plain and simple. So, if you want to stay you suck it up and take it, or you can leave the group. Either way it is your choice.

Then there is the bully that is outright deliberate in their disdain for a book, author, website, or blog and makes no bones about pointing out their frustration with their work, their writing style or their story. Picking it apart like a vulture picks apart a carcass, leaving little behind but the broken author or publisher to defend themselves. If the author/publisher is lucky, someone will come to their aid, putting themselves in the line of fire of the bully. Then the bully moves on to another unknowing victim the next time he/she buys a book and it doesn’t meet their expectations, or they felt as though they have wasted their money on what they perceive as a useless purchase.

While everyone is entitled to their opinion, why spread negative energy around a group? If you don’t like a book, ask for your money back, email the author or contact the publisher and discuss it with them. Let’s be clear, bullying on a group isn’t giving constructive feedback, or giving an “honest” review of a book. It is plain and simple bullying. We all want our work to matter, but sometimes a bully doesn’t care about you, or your work. It’s self serving and unfortunate.

Why do I write this? Has it happened to me? Sure, but my momma didn’t raise any thin skinned babies. I write about it because I witnessed a moderator of a group do exactly what I have discussed. Sadly, only one called them on it, and a few disagreed with the moderator’s position, but it only added fuel to an already out off control burn. Then the self-inflicted victimization started. You can’t cry victim if you call other bigots, racists, or haters and then do exactly what you’ve just accused someone else of doing. See how that works?

What happened before the internet and instance gratification? It takes time to sit down and write a letter, it takes no time to sit down and vent on your computer. What do you think? Am I way off here or have you experienced this yourself?

Isabella

Is it F/F or Lesbian romance?

This is a post I did for Babbling About Books and KT/KB’s Lesbian Appreciation Week. Enjoy!

Hi, my name is Isabella and I write lesbian romance. Sounds like a recovery meeting for romance writers. When I contacted KB about being part of this two-week adventure called Lesbian Fiction Appreciation Event, my first question was: Is it open only to those that write F/F? She responded by saying that she wrote romance, and I responded by saying, I write romance too, but I am a lesbian who writes lesbian romance. “Is there a difference between F/F and lesbian romance?” I was asked. I wondered if this was similar to the fury over straight women writing gay romance or M/M. The subject of straight women writing lesbian romance is a hot topic even in lesbian circles. I think this is the elephant in the room and from each side comes some very different viewpoints, and neither is wrong, just different.

For my point of reference, the difference was pointed out to me about two years ago when I was in a lesbian romance chat with a few women. One of the women asked the group if they knew of any good F/F romance stories. I immediately offered up my favorite lesbian romance authors, a few of which have already been on this very blog tour. Almost immediately I was informed that she wasn’t looking for “lesbian” romance or polymorphism romance, because she wasn’t a lesbian. She was looking for “hot girl on girl romance.” When I asked her what the difference was, she took the opportunity to school me on the difference.

An example of F/F would be: two femme women who walk into a bar with their boyfriends. The women find out they like each other, but not “in that way, you know they aren’t lesbians”, and throughout the night they tease, flirt or come on to one another. They adjourn to the bathroom to freshen up their makeup and find themselves having hot, nasty sex in the bathroom or in the back of the bar, [insert location here] and then go back out into the straight world and back to their boyfriends. At least that was how this woman who, was not a lesbian, explained it to me.

After researching a few of the erotic websites that claim to have lesbian stories, I find the call for “hot F/F, or girl on girl,” stories and the hotter the better. I also start to look at the bios of some authors who out themselves as being straight women who love to write steamy F/F action. Some also talk about how they write gay or M/M, M/M/F stories, and some say they do write lesbian romance as well. Now the wheels start to turn. Why do straight women and some men want to venture in to the lesbian romance market? Is it all about money? How do my fellow lesbian feel about the phenomenon? So I asked. I know how I feel about it, but their responses were as varied as the acronyms used to describe women who have sex with other women.

When presented with the question about the gender of the writers some said that as lesbians, they wanted an authentic lesbian experience and felt “ripped off” if they found out a man wrote the story. Others wondered why straight women would want to write lesbian romance and didn’t know there was a difference between lesbian and F/F stories. Other authors and readers thought that there is enough room for everyone and that good lesbian stories would rise to the top, gender didn’t matter. Many lesbians gave me what I call the Stephen King response. He isn’t a murderer, but he writes about murder because he does his research. True. I can’t argue with that statement. Therefore, many will assume that most straight women who write lesbian fiction have done their research into what it feels like to pleasure a woman orally—the taste, the texture, and the spontaneous combustion that happens when pleasured correctly. I know, I know women know what they like sexually, so some of this is said tongue firmly in cheek.

After my “schooling” I read F/F stories. I knew right away that I probably wasn’t the intended audience. Perhaps a few might, but lesbians rarely use terms like “gushing”, “fuck you out of those heels,” or “you’re gonna find Jesus tonight, baby”. I’ve read all of these in F/F stories. Sure they’re hot and if I was a guy I’d be swooping up this little erotic pearls and string a necklace around my…well I’d read them over and over again.

You can go to the Lesbian Erotic section on Amazon, read the first chapter on many of these stories and know if they’re for you. Is there room for everyone? There’s room for good, storytelling. You as the reader have to decide what you like and don’t like and as for the gender or lifestyle of the author, again that is for you, the reader to decide. Having lived in the LGBT community and being a former President of a Pride organization, I can say that we are welcoming, almost to a fault. We encourage everyone to come, play, and have a good time, at least the majority of us. For some gender and lifestyle matter, but for others not so much. This article could go on with more anecdotal evidence to support either side of the coin. Should men teach women’s history, should someone other than an African American teach Black studies, and on and on. Ultimately, writers should do what they do best; write and readers will decide how they spend their money.

Happy Reading!

 

Isabella

2011 GLCS Traditional Contemporary Romance winner

Author of Always Faithful and Broken Shield

Sapphire Books Publishing

Welcome to Sapphire Books Publishing’s new blog

This is our new blog. We took down the old one and decided to start the new year with fresh ideas, new content and hopefully some wonderful insight to writing and publishing. We look forward to having you here and thank you for your support of our authors

What’s in store for 2012? Well we’re pretty excited about the future and we’ve got a few announcements coming so watch for them.  On a side note, check out Isabella’s  hot new release Broken Shield. It’s currently in the top ten on Amazon’s lesbian romance and we couldn’t be prouder. We hope you’ll come to the website and buy her newest release as well as her award winning book, Always Faithful.

Oh, and lets not forget about Jett Abbott and her book Scarlet Masquerade. We hear there might be a sequel in store. So watch for that announcement.

Well back to the printing presses. We hope you have a wonderful 2012 and we hope you come along with us on the ride. Happy New Year!

SBP