Dan Piraro's Blog, page 19

DOG NEEDS A HELMET

Stinging Whiskers

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(To view this cartoon as large and clear as a plexiglass barn, click on a bee.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Hirsute Alphabet.

I've always been fascinated by any attempt to build a beard out of something other than facial hair. Who isn't, am I right? Waffle beards, wax beards, carpet goatees, sideburns of mango skins, they're all amazing in their own right. But the top of the heap, as far as replacement facial hair substances go, is live, stinging insects.

This cartoon idea came from my fr...

God's Lice

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Heavens.

I was musing one day about people's various ideas of "heaven." The idea of an afterlife of any kind is not one that I embrace at all, I think it is no more likely than a pre-life, of which there was most certainly none to my knowledge. Sorry if I offended any reincarnation believers, it just isn't something I can accept. If it works for you, go for it.

I've done a lot of cartoons about the cliche heaven with angels and clouds and while writing gag...

Stress Musings

Bizarro is brought to you today by Auto Obesity.

My life is a big gooey slithering wombat of stress right now. I'm working on a couple of big projects outside of Bizarro (details later, maybe), CHNW and I are preparing to sell our place in Brooklyn and move away from NYC (a feat of idiotic proportions considering the clutter of our house is rivaled only by the seething demonic chaos of all the crap we have stored in the basement), and my finances and psyche are in disarray. Those last two thin...

Robots, Statues, Music

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Big Ugly.

This was an eventful weekend in my area. The National Cartoonists Society had their annual convention and awards ceremony just across the river from NYC, someplace called Jersey City. I've never been there myself, but I hear it is gorgeous.

I am told I won their biggest award, "Cartoonist of the Year" and am grateful for the honor. (Yes, I was told I was grateful for the honor, and I actually was.) The statue, which I have come to affectionately ...

Mistakes

("Make me bigger and clearer," said the little pig. "Click the wolf's nose!")

Bizarro is brought to you today by Charming Biker T-shirts.

No time for a lengthy hog blog this morning, I'm off on my own hog in a few minutes; my 1973 BMW R75/5, or, as I like to call it, "sweetheart." I'm heading up to Woodstock Sanctuary for the Chrissie Hynde concert tonight. Wish me good weather and safe driving and I'll wish you the same.

Have a dandy Memorial Day weekend, mis amigos, and party responsibly.
Asta ...

Androcles and the Text Message

Bizarro is brought to you today by Talking Laundry.

I'm sure a lot of readers don't remember the story of Androcles and the lion, or, if you went to an average American public school, never learned it, so here is a summary: A runaway slave removes a thorn from a lion's paw, then years later is not eaten by said lion because he remembered the favor.

Now, suddenly, the bartender joke becomes oh so poignant and humorous. Let us chuckle together, shall we?

The moral of the story is, if you want to...

Furless Snakes

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Dangers of Farsightedness.

Here's a pithy little cartoon about a homeless snake. The kind of snake I've drawn here is more like a constrictor, which I don't think actually care for pits, but drawing a tiny viper didn't seem right for the composition. I don't actually know much about snakes so feel free to educate me in the comments.

Also, I appear in the cartoon as the overly-hip hipster coming around the corner. Not my best (or most flattering) self portr...

The Problem With Shoes

Reality Sux

Bizarro is brought today to you by Colored People.

I was among the zagillions of people who saw the Fantasy Blue People World movie in 3-D and really enjoyed it. I can't say I enjoyed it so much I want to get my ears surgically altered, grow a ponytail and paint myself blue, but the world they created, when experienced in 3-D, was, as the kids say, awesome. I'm not sure how much I would have liked it in 2-D.

The story was nice, too, as I recall.

Which begs the question posed in this cartoon: why...