Elise Allen's Blog, page 20

Coolest Job Perks, Volume One

A couple weeks ago, my latest Barbie movie came out, Barbie: A Fairy Secret.  The movie is a DVD release, but about a week before it hit the shelves, it was screened at an area movie theater, and the fab producer asked if I wanted to go.

Fact: I've been writing Barbie movies for years, and Miss M has never been into them.  At all.  Simply not interested.

However, I knew several of her friends were really into the movies, and I thought it would be a fun thing for Miss M to take them to see one of the films on the big screen.  Miss M loved the idea.  We rallied two of her closest friends, their moms (both close friends of mine), and my 91-year-old grandmother, because I thought she'd get a huge kick out of A) seeing Miss M and her friends running around together, and B) seeing my name writ large in the opening credits.

The event started off as a major debacle.  I have no sense of direction, and ended up parking as far away from the theater as humanly possible.  Of course, because I'm directionally challenged, I had no idea I'd done this until Miss M, my grandmother, and I were halfway through our marathon trek… in the bitter cold ("bitter cold" by L.A. standards)… with wind gusts that blew down signs in our path.

Did I mention my grandmother uses a walker and can't walk very far?

After forty days and forty nights, we made it to the front of the theater, where my grandmother was aching to sit down… but all the chairs were covered with water from a storm the day before.  Thankfully, her walker doubles as a seat.  Even more thankfully, the first of Miss M's two friends showed up a minute later, and nothing perks up my grandmother like watching Miss M and her friends play.

Miss M's other friend soon arrived, and we got the kids and my grandmother Wetzels and lemonade — breakfast of champions — while we waited for Tiffany J. to arrive with the tickets, then we trouped in.  The kids and the other two moms snagged seats in the middle of the theater, while I grabbed a seat in the handicap-access area with my grandmother… who was getting herself situated in the chair and missed my name on the screen.

About five minutes in, she fell fast asleep.

Five minutes later, she started to snore.

Loudly.

I kinda loved it.  I couldn't stop giggling.

Luckily, the sound in the theater was REALLY loud, so I don't think anyone else heard either one of us.

She woke up two minutes before the movie ended, and when the end credits rolled, she smiled, put her hand on my knee, and declared it the best movie she'd ever seen.

I love my grandmother.

By the time she and I made our way out of the theater (after a much needed pit stop for both of us), Miss M and her friends were racing around the courtyard in front of the theater… playing A Fairy Secret.

At lunch, one of Miss M's friends told me the movie was the best movie she'd ever seen, which amused me highly because this girl's father is a brilliant screenwriter who has written some of my favorite movies in the world.  Miss M chimed in with a more specific review:  "It was the best Barbie movie I've ever seen."

Miss M is awesome.

What made the day such a cool job perk for me wasn't seeing the movie, it was getting to do something fun and unique with my grandmother, Miss M, and her friends — something that meant a lot to them and they all really enjoyed.  I even include my grandmother in the "really enjoyed" description.  She didn't see the movie, but she loved the experience of going out and seeing the girls play together.  Even cooler, it HAILED on the drive home.  How often do you get to drive through hail in L.A.?

So tell me… what unique job perks have you gotten to enjoy with your family?  A unique trip, maybe?  A fun take-your-child-to-work-day visit?  A craft service table feast?  Whatever it is, I'd love to hear all about it!

Voiceover Record, Baby!!!!

It was a dark and stormy night…

Okay, it was ten in the morning, but it was seriously dark and stormy.  We had a massive, record-setting, torrential downpour here on Sunday… the day of the L.A. Marathon.

I am very grateful to Cristian Ubilla for landing me time in a recording studio that very morning.  Had I not had legitimate Populazzi trailer work to do, there's a good chance I'd have felt compelled to run in that marathon.  With my luck I'd have been among the two thousand runners treated for hypothermia.

Instead of running, I met with members of my awesome trailer team: Cristian, Travis, Clare, Josh, Ben, plus some other insanely talented actors (whom I've yet to ask if I can rave about them by name in my blog, so for the moment they're nameless).  Josh and Ben, you might recall, were behind the scenes on the original shoot: Josh handled craft services, and Ben was part of the lighting team… and the one-man superhero who restored power to the house when it blew out mid-shoot.  This time they were among six actors ready to show off their chops in the booth, recording voiceover for the trailer.

The storefront of the studio… is a hair salon.  To get to the recording studio, you have to climb up a steep, rickety flight of stairs, push through a hidden door at the back of the salon, walk across a roof, and find one of two secret rooms.

As Ben said, "You could totally hide from Nazis in a place like this."

The studio itself was split into two rooms.  The outer room held the control board and a computer; a giant couch; a chair; and a mini-fridge.  The other room was the soundproof booth.  A giant window gave visual access between the two rooms.

I wish I'd have taken a zillion pictures to share with you, but of course I did not.  Mainly because I was too busy grinning like a giddy lunatic.  I've never done a V.O. record, and thought it was the coolest thing ever.

One by one, the actors went into the booth.  They had to put on headphones to hear those of us on the other side of the glass.  Even then, they could only hear us if we pressed a little button on the control panel.

I loved the little button.  It took every ounce of restraint not to keep pushing it and saying, "This is Carlton, your doorman."

Honestly, the process was amazingly smooth.  Colin, our sound tech (forgive me if that's not the proper term), is an incredible pro, and made the whole thing remarkably simple.  The actors went in, did their lines, I gave a little direction, they did some more takes… and we were done!

(Allow me to take a moment to apologize to Travis.  He's the director, and he deserves the title, but I had a really clear idea of what I wanted with the voiceover, and I just jumped right in and took the reins on giving notes.  It started with Josh.  He was the first up, and since I've known him forever, I'd leap in with things like: "Okay, do it like Neal when he went crazy and jumped on my car with the tai chi sword — go!"

To Travis' credit, he was an absolute mensch about it, and would simply tell me his thoughts so I could pass them along to the actors as well.  I think he also could see I was way too enamored of that super-cool little button to stop playing with it.)

Now we have all the rough voiceover footage, and Travis and I are choosing the takes we like best.  Then Travis will lay it in, and we'll be one step closer to a completed trailer!  I can't wait to share it with everyone!!!!

Ohhh, You Mean THAT'S What We Did???

On the set of the trailer (a.k.a. my living room) with our fabulous actress, Clare

Yesterday  morning, Travis sent me a rough cut of the trailer.  I can't let you see it — I can't let anyone see it.  That's not because it's bad — it's not — it's just not at all ready.  Travis told me as much by including about a thousand disclaimers before the link to the rough cut.  Still, he thought I should see it in its current state, just so I knew generally what we had.

I'm so glad he did.

The piece he cut together was 100% true to what I'd written in my trailer script… and yet not at all like what I'd imagined the piece to feel like in my head.  My concept was right, all the elements were dead-on, and the footage my team shot was amazing… but I had put the puzzle pieces together incorrectly on paper.

I never would have realized it if I hadn't seen it.

It took me some time to digest what I'd seen, pinpoint what I'd laid out incorrectly, and realize what I wanted instead.  But by the end of the day (and with some much-appreciated sounding board help and advice from my husband), I was able to send Travis a coherent email laying out a new way to arrange the puzzle pieces into something that'll work a million times better.  He agrees, and we're moving on to the next rough cut.

{Travis, by the way, is my hero for working so hard and so brilliantly on this.  The man's a professional with a million other things on his plate.  My gratitude is immeasurable.}

This is something I find a lot.  Sometimes it takes getting a  piece "finished" — a full draft of a novel or a script — before I can even tell what's broken.  I know with Populazzi, each "complete" draft brought realizations for how to make the piece better… things I never could have seen without looking at the piece as a whole.

Do you find this as well with your writing?  Do you find it's easier to see the big issues once you have everything down on paper, or do you map everything out so thoroughly in the beginning that the major beats remain the same?

Recording voiceover on Sunday… more fun to come!

Then Don't Go Like That!

Uh-huh, you know the old joke.

"Doctor, it hurts when I go like this."

"I see… I have the answer!"

"What, Doc, what?"

"Don't go like that!"

Here's my deal.  I know for a fact that I feel best when I go gluten-free/dairy-free.  I know for a fact that I don't deal well with a lot of chemicals in my body.  I know for a fact that low-carb frozen yogurt and sugarless gum are tantamount to poison for me, and 95% of the time, they turn my stomach into a roiling ball of pain.

So what did I do two nights ago while staying up into the wee small hours working?

Chewed my way through THREE PACKS of sugarless gum.

Was I in hideous pain all day yesterday?  Yes, I was.

Is it my own damn fault?  Yes, it is.

Am I a blithering idiot?  In this specific case, I won't deny the charge.

I know it's not just me.  Okay, maybe this particular stupidity is just me, but we as people do this kind of nonsense a lot.  We know we never feel good after eating the whole bag of chips… but we eat it anyway.  We know we have to be alert to volunteer at our kid's school tomorrow… but we get so caught up working or reading a novel that we get only two hours of sleep.  We know how much it bites to do a month's worth of bills at the last second and swear it will never happen again… and four weeks later there's another tower of unopened mail.

Wait a minute… that's all still my nonsense.

Okay, let me ask you, then — do you do this too?  Do you have habits or behaviors that you know actively thwart you, and yet you do them anyway?

If so, please share.  And in the meantime, if you see me chewing sugarless gum or ordering a giant vat of WowCow, you have my official permission to call me out on it.  The tough love is good for me.

Priorities!

From the Miss M Cam - she took a LOT of pictures of the craft service table

The trailer shoot… was AWESOME.  Beyond awesome.  It was Awesome-cali-fragilistic-awesome-alidocious!

Many, many stories to tell, including — but oh, not limited to:

Friday night setup — Miss M telling everyone her favorite planet is "Uranus," then making sure everyone got it by adding, "My favorite planet is my butt!"

Miss M topping that off by bursting into an original song called "My Momma Sucks It Sucks It"  (don't ask… I have no idea…)

Every lick of electricity blowing out in the middle of the shoot on Saturday, until Ben Tully, grip/actor/master electrician/P-90X poster boy/superman took apart the house circuitry and somehow fixed it.

Our 18-year-old actress busting out Michael Sambello, Justin Bieber, and The Spice Girls on her iPod.

A large chunk of dry ice tossed into my swimming pool… to fabulous effect.

I'll elaborate in the following days, but I wanted to talk about something that happened today.

As visitors to this blog know, I've been talking about my quest to run the L.A. Marathon, despite a horrible lack of training.  It's not as insane a goal as it might seem, because I've run fifteen marathons, so I have the muscle memory.

As I said here, the race was important to me because no matter how slowly I ran it, it would be a concrete accomplishment I could hold up — literally, with the medal around my neck — and say I DID THIS! And even though work has been piling up for me like a snowdrift at my sister's house in Connecticut this winter, I still wanted to do it.

Then today I get an email.  Cristian, my Behind-the-Scenes footage guy, can get us into a recording studio to do the voiceover session for the trailer… for free!  The only catch?  It's this Sunday, during the L.A. Marathon.

I said yes immediately.  Much as I'd love to run this race, I'd love to have a fantastic book trailer way more.  It's far more important to me to ride the incredible momentum from the shoot into this weekend, and have a knock-it-out-of-the-park trailer and some great additional footage to start sharing with everyone.  There are plenty of marathons, but I have only one shot at a debut novel, and I want to make the most of it.

So I won't be running the marathon on Sunday, but I will get to see Cristian, Travis (co-producer/editor/director), and Clare (actress) again, plus a few other great voiceover actors, and I'll get one step closer to having a fantastic, completed book trailer about which I can shout from the rooftops.

What's interesting to me is that when I gave up a training run because of a migraine, I felt like the biggest loser on the planet.  Giving up the actual marathon for a voiceover session?  I feel terrific.  Easiest choice I've ever made.  It makes me want to ask everyone out there…

Have you ever had a goal you truly wanted to achieve… then given it up guilt-free because of changed circumstances?  What were the circumstances, and how did changing your path turn out to be the best thing (assuming it did)?

More to come on the trailer…

xo,

E

If I Have a Crew, Can I Be Called Cap'n?

So TOMORROW is the big day!  We shoot the trailer!

Actually, the process starts TODAY.  At 6pm, a few members of my crew are coming over to turn my little house into a working set, much to the delight of Miss M, and the head-shaking, I-love-you-so-I'm-cool-with-this heavy sighing of my husband.

For anyone out there who's curious, or who might want to put together a book trailer themselves, I thought I'd go through my crew — all the incredible people coming together to make this happen.  I won't use their names right now because I want to have their permission first, but I'll give you their titles and what they do, so you get a sense of what's going into this.

Just FYI, I'm numbering them not in order of importance (they all rock hard and are indispensable), just to keep a running count of the number of people.

1. Writer/Producer Um… that's me.  Just thought I'd include myself in the number, since I'll be bouncing around here.  The "Producer" title makes me giggle, since it's not like I have any clue what I'm doing a lot of the time, but I've always heard the key to producing is bringing together incredible people who do know what they're doing, and happily I've been able to do that.

2. Director/Producer/Editor I SCORED on this hyphenate!  This is one of the awesome things about working on TV shows in L.A. — meeting insanely talented people, with the ability to do far more than the job they're paid to do.  I work with my D/P/E on Dinosaur Train, and while he kicks major Mesozoic butt on the production team there, I knew from his website and from talking to him that he has also D/P/E'd (and written) all kinds of pieces, from sitcom pilots to commercials to documentaries.  I am beyond lucky that he agreed to come aboard for the trailer, because he is seriously a genius with this stuff.  He knows exactly what we need for every aspect of the process, his creative sensibility is dead-on, and I trust him implicitly.  He's the one truly manning this ship — none of this would happen without him.

3 through 5, Director of Photography, Gaffer, and Grip.  A great DP is vital to making any piece look professional.  The DP basically creates the look of the piece through lighting and camera work.  This is a part of production I know nothing about, but I've already been amazed just sitting in and listening to these guys talk amongst themselves and with D/P/E.  There's an incredible amount of creativity that goes into not only designing the right mood for each part of the trailer, but also figuring out the best and most efficient way to make it happen.  Since I'm putting this together myself, we're on a shoestring budget and shooting in a living room; but thanks to the DP, that'll never show.  The Gaffer and Grip are also extremely knowledgeable lighting guys, have worked with this DP many times before, and will help him bring his vision to life.

6. Costumer.  We have a LOT of costume changes in the piece, so finding a terrific costumer was vital.  Again, thank the universe for friends, because a close friend of mine put me in touch with a costumer who worked with… wait for it… CIRQUE DU SOLEIL!  I know… it's a little out of control awesome.  She is shockingly talented and an incredibly lovely person.  Again, no budget, so she has been mega-creative, using items from our actress' wardrobe, finding bargains, borrowing, and doing everything she can to get the right looks at insanely low prices.

7. (and 8.) Hair and makeup.  These aren't two separate jobs.  They're listed as two numbers with one in parentheses because one of the hair/makeup designers is just popping in for an hour or so… to do my makeup.  No, it's not because I want to look cute for the shoot.  Honestly, I'd rather be in sweats, glasses, and a ponytail for the shoot.  However, as long as I've got a professional film crew in the house, it makes sense to shoot some Behind The Scenes footage and Author Interviews.  And if we're doing Author Interviews… I should probably look camera-ready.  Thankfully, the makeup artist who did my headshots is swinging by in the morning to take care of that.

The bigger job is our actual hair and makeup designer for the trailer itself.  Each of the many costume changes comes with a hair and makeup change.  It's a huge challenge, and our makeup designer has risen to it big-time.  Just this morning she sent me the list of exactly what she'll be doing for each look, and how long the transformation will take, and my jaw hit the floor.   It's going to be amazing.  I can't wait to see it happen, and I'm so thrilled we'll have the Behind the Scenes footage so I can share it with you.

9. Set Designer This is the remarkably talented man who's going to turn my living room into a 16-year-old's bedroom.  There's a set transformation involved, too.  I won't go into detail about it because I don't want to give it away, but it makes for a true challenge.  The set designer I have?  LOVES a challenge!  He has won awards for his set design, and been called "Terry Gilliam on a shoestring."  How in the world did I get him to do my little no-budget trailer?  Um… he's dating one of my best friends in the world.  SCORE!  Oh, and randomly, he also went to high school with my book packager.  I was hoping for a reunion tomorrow if she stopped by the set, but sadly she'll be away.

10. Behind-the-Scenes Director and Sound Guy I know "Sound Guy" is not an accurate title… but I don't know the right title.  Audio Director, maybe?  Basically, I have a guy who is really doing me a favor, because he is very overqualified to come shoot some behind the scenes footage.  Like my D/P/E, my BTS Director (we'll call him BTS-D) has written, shot, produced, directed, and edited many of his own pieces, and has even done high-profile book trailers.  For this project, he's going to shoot both Behind-the-Scenes footage of everything going on during the day, and he'll do Author Interviews.  Since the trailer itself has no live dialogue, only voiceover, his BTS pieces will be the only ones recording sound tomorrow.

11. Production Assistant/Craft Services All these people bouncing around my house will need to be FED!  My PA/CS guy is an old friend of mine from college, and one of the most reliable people I know.  He helped create a shopping list with everything we need, and the two of us got about half of it on a Costco run the other day.  The rest he'll get on the day itself, and he has already scoped out the perfect place from which to order that food, and exactly what to get.  The day of the shoot he'll have his hands full making sure everything stays well-stocked and everyone has what they need, plus he'll be available to run out and get meals, plus anything else we suddenly realize we need.

12. Cast.  In my case, we have a cast of one (though we'll have more actors in the voice-over session that comes after the shoot).  She's so fabulous, I'm going to pay her the ultimate compliment… she reminds me of what I think my daughter will be like at her age.  I found her through another old college friend, who now teaches at a performing arts high school.  She's going to make a fantastic Cara, and I feel lucky to have her at the very beginning of what's going to be a great career for her.

So that's everyone… and that's just for the day of the shoot!  It's not even counting the three friends without whose recommendations I never would have found half the crew, or my PR guru Crystal and the awesome Harcourt peeps who will be instrumental in getting the finished trailer out there, or the post-production sound editor, or the added voice-over cast for post production, or the incredible musicians who are giving me their music for the piece… it's staggering!  And all for what in the end should be a piece that'll run under a minute long!

That has been the most incredible part of all this for me.  I've worked on many a set, but I always stay in my little Writer Box, impressed by but clueless about the greater production going on around me.  Putting this together gives me HUGE appreciation for what goes into even the smallest well-produced piece.

In the following days and weeks, I'll post more info about everyone on the team, because they deserve to be lauded publicly and by name.  Plus, once everything is shot and put together, you'll get to meet them all through the Behind the Scenes footage.

In the meantime, just wanted to give you a sense of what's going on here at Casa del Elise.  And I'd love your thoughts — is there anything in particular you'd like to see in terms of the Behind the Scenes footage?  Anything you'd like to see answered in an Author Interview?  Let me know and I'll make sure we work it in!

Trailer Trash

It's the end of Tuesday, and I'm shooting the Populazzi trailer on Saturday, which means I'm right on schedule for a complete crisis of confidence and a flurry of second-guessing myself.  This is not good, especially because my closet is JAM-PACKED with Tastykakes that are supposed to be props, but would work really really well as general comfort food.

The spectacular thing is I've somehow managed to surround myself with the most astounding team of people imaginable.  I know they know what they're doing, and that's keeping me sane.  Once I get their okay, I'll parade their awesomeness to everyone here on the blog, but in the meantime suffice it to say I bow at their remarkably talented feet.

Here's the thing about book trailers: from the research I've done, there's no guarantee that they translate into greater book sales.  Another mark on the "con" side?  They're rarely funded by the publisher.  That said, they're one more weapon in the marketing arsenal, and I figure it's smart to have as many weapons as possible, so I'm going for it.

I'll bring you trailer production updates as the week goes on, but first I want to know from you… what do you think of book trailers?  Have you ever decided to buy a book based on the trailer?  Have you ever been turned off a book by its trailer?  Do you seek out book trailers, or do you only watch them if one has been sent to you?  And finally, if you do watch them, what's your favorite trailer… and why?

Must brew more coffee, tweak the trailer script, email it to the Crew of Awesomosity… and has it been more than a month since I've paid bills?  Uh-oh…

I Love Deb Caletti

First of all, I apologize for taking last week off from blogging entirely.  There's a lot on my plate this month, including putting together the book trailer for Populazzi, which I'll yammer on about in posts to come.  Things are so crazy I had to take a hiatus from Fabulous Organizer Tina, and I'm going through serious withdrawal.  This week is just as crazy if not crazier, but it'll make me nuts if I stay away from the blog any longer, so… hi!

Okay, weirdest thing the other week. I take a kickass boot camp class as many days as I can (at Carter Fitness, for any L.A. peeps who want a seriously awesome workout).  The boot camp is just a half hour of hard-core torture, so before it or after I like to get in a little cardio.  Usually I do this on the recumbent bike, so I can multitask and do some reading.

So I was on the bike reading The Nature of Jade, by Deb Caletti.  Then I got off the bike, got my stuff together, walked all of fifty feet to a nearby coffee shop so I could plug in and write until it was time to pick up Miss M from school, fired up my computer…

…and I had an email from my publisher telling me about a new blurb for Populazzi… from Deb Caletti!!!!

Crazy-fabulous, right?

I'm beyond thrilled that Deb Caletti read and enjoyed Populazzi.  Not only is she an author whose work I admire, but she's also very busy, and for her to take time out to read my book when I'm someone she doesn't know in any way, shape, or form… it really blew me away, and I'm incredibly grateful.

Here's her blurb:

"Populazzi is a smart, fun, and energetic ride through the twisting hallways of high school popularity."

Awesome.  And awesome for YOU, my friends, because I am apparently incapable of receiving a blurb without running a giveaway, and this one is no exception.  Comment on this post, and you will get a chance to win your choice of Deb Caletti's books.  She has a huge backlist, all of which you can check out here.  Comment, let me know which one you want, and on Friday I'll have the lovely random.org choose a winner.

(You really can't go wrong with any of her books, but personally, I really enjoyed The Nature of Jade.)

Thanks for coming by!

xo,

E

The Heart-Stopping Almost

Miss M has started taking horseback riding lessons, which is spectacular for both of us, since I get the fringe benefit of petting the horses' noses, cooing, and looking deep into their eyes while she's grooming them.  The only down side is that I was in a production of Equus in college, and I'm incapable of being at the stables without the line "He blinded six horses with a metal spike?" echoing through my head ad nauseum.

However, last week at the stables I had a serious parenting low.  We were told we could feed Miss M's horse (her borrowed horse.  No way are we in own-a-horse land), so we brought carrots.  Miss M had the carrot in her flat hand, just like she was supposed to, but the horse was craning its neck over a bar to try and get it, and couldn't reach low enough.  So I raised her hand higher, assuming she was going to keep it flat as it rose.

Instead she turned her hand upright.  I didn't realize.

CHOMP.

The only thing between my beautiful child and four less fingers was an extremely gentle and well-trained horse who realized that the delectable nuggets between his teeth, while they certainly seemed like carrots, were in fact not, and he probably shouldn't bite all the way down.

Miss M was fine.  Freaked out and a little sore from the teeth grinding against her innocent little fingers, but fine.  No blood, no broken skin… not even a mark.

I, however, am still hyperventilating over the horror of what might have been.

It happens all the time.  We come within a hair of disaster, and it's only pure, dumb luck that saves us from an unbelievably hideous fate.  I can think of a litany of near-misses in my own life: everything from the obvious (almost car accidents) to the more creepily insidious (the rabbi on whom I had a mad crush from ages 11 to 15… who is now a convicted child molester).  Things like that are freaky enough in my own life, but thinking about them in terms of Miss M?  It's enough to have me breathing into a paper bag 24/7.

I have no solution.  I suppose the devout rely on God to guide them through, but not even the most devout are impervious to the flying fickle finger of fate.  The only real answer, it seems, is to live the best we can, and hope the Heart-Stopping Almost… remains an Almost.

What Heart-Stopping Almost moments have you had in your life?

My Life As Mrs. Magoo

My vision is hideous.  I think I was in second or third grade when I got glasses, and they were my biggest nightmare.  Sure, seeing was great, but I lost them all the time, and I swear I dropped them down the toilet on at least two occasions.

Plus I looked like a huge dork in them.

I got contacts in eighth grade, and LOVED them!  Unless I had to, I pretty much refused to be seen in my glasses, and it stayed that way until about a year ago, when two things happened:

First, my eyesight, which has only gotten worse over the years, got to the point where the astigmatism lenses I wear are pretty darn thick (in contact lens terms), and really have to be in a VERY specific position to work well.

Secondly, my eyes are suddenly dryer than they've ever been, so if the lens somehow gets into the wrong position, it's almost impossible to roll back to the right spot.

In other words, if my contacts are in, 50% of the time I have gorgeous vision, while the other 50% I have one eye clear and one eye blurry.  Add to that the fact that I'm a natural klutz, and it's no shocker that I bump into things a lot.  So not only am I covered with bruises, but I also get woozy from feeling like I'm half-underwater.

I'm not a fan.  I'd get LASIK, but one of my closest friends did that, and it went so horribly wrong that she's going to need a cornea transplant.  No thanks.  Besides, I pass out when I get numbing eyedrops, so I can't imagine I'd do well with a laser beaming into my retina.

Luckily, I'm a big fan of my glasses.  And since my fellow Deb Tawna Fenske did a post recently swearing that glasses gave her credibility, I'm going to run with that.

Still, if I'm dressing to impress, I go with the contacts.  So if you see me wandering around looking cute but inebriated and it's only ten a.m., don't worry — it's not the wine, it's the contacts.

How about you?  Were you blessed with perfect vision?  Do you wear glasses?  Contacts?  Did you go LASIK?  Were you thinking of going LASIK until the cornea transplant story scared you off?  If so, um… sorry about that.