Lea Wait's Blog, page 56

Weekend Update: July 1-2, 2023

Next week at Maine Crime Writers there will be posts by Kaitlyn Dunnett/Kathy Lynn Emerson (Monday), Kate Flora (Thursday), and Brenda Buchanan (Friday). Happy Fourth of July everyone!

 

In the news department, here’s what’s happening with some of us who blog regularly at Maine Crime Writers:

from Kathy Lynn Emerson: Yesterday was the release date for the print-on-demand trade paperback edition of my Agatha-award-winning nonfiction, How to Write Killer Historical Mysteries (2022 edition). I recommend ordering copies from Barnes & Noble, as they have proven faster and more efficient at filling orders for POD books than Amazon, but any bookstore or library should be able to order a copy.

 

An invitation to readers of this blog: Do you have news relating to Maine, Crime, or Writing? We’d love to hear from you. Just comment below to share.

And a reminder: If your library, school, or organization is looking for a speaker, we are often available to talk about the writing process, research, where we get our ideas, and other mysteries of the business, along with the very popular “Making a Mystery” with audience participation, and “Casting Call: How We Staff Our Mysteries.” We also do programs on Zoom. Contact Kate Flora

Our Maine Summers

Since part of our group description is “all things Maine,” today we thought we’d share some of the things we’re planning for this summer. What we’ll do and where we’ll go when we’re not chained to our desks.

Kate Flora: For my 55th birthday, my sweet husband bought me a blueberry field in Union. Wild blueberries are only harvested every other year, and I’m excited because this will be a blueberry summer. Although the majority of these organic berries are commercially harvested, there will be a day in late July or early August when family and friends assemble for a blueberry picking morning followed by a picnic of the family farm (courtesy of the new owners) and a swim in Sennebec Pond. I will come home from that and spend the next day or two making blueberry jam!

As if that weren’t enough, a month later, assuming the crop is okay, I will join my best friend Karin (friends since were were 4 1/2 and 5 1/2) to harvest grapes.

Sounds like a pretty agricultural summer, yes? I also hope to visit the Coastal Maine Botanical Garden a few times, as it is a favorite, and there’s an oyster cruise in Damariscotta I’ve been wanting to take for years. And of course, I want to revisit the Robert McCloskey exhibit at the Curtis Library in Brunswick. It’s amazing!

Kaitlyn Dunnett/Kathy Lynn Emerson: I’ve always been a homebody at heart, so I’m happiest just staying put when the weather is nice. Since we live on some 25 rural, mostly forested acres, that isn’t any hardship. We “camp out” with the advantage of sleeping in our own bed and having two fully functional bathrooms.

Above is a look at part of our land a little earlier in a typical year. We even have a water feature, the source of the name Moosetookalook. Moose (and deer, and other critters) come to drink in full view of our windows. There are old logging trails up into the woods, and a stream that marks our property line on one side. I admit, I don’t go out walking much these days, thanks to arthritis in my knees and feet, but I still have relaxing summertime views when I look up from reading on our screened-in front porch. What can I say? There’s no place like home, especially when that home is a house in Maine.

Maggie Robinson: Like Kathy/Kaitlyn, I prefer my own Maine backyard, whatever the season. We live in the Historic District of Farmington, quite close to the thriving downtown, but when you’re behind the fence, you’re a million miles away. The rock pond burbles, the hummingbirds and their bigger buddies dip in and out to drink and clean their feathers, the perennials do their thing. Since we bought the house, I’ve put in a zillion daylilies, foxgloves, and peonies. (Just don’t remind me of the 200 purple tulip bulbs I bought for the front garden, which have been merrily munched by the deer who live down the street in Bonney Woods. Happily, they have not figured out how to open up the gates to the garden.)

We usually have some summer company. This year we’ll be blessed with our six-year-old granddaughter for several days. We can walk to the 4th of July parade, and watch the fireworks from our front porch if we keep her up past her bedtime. Some ice cream and native strawberries will probably be involved. Life is good.

 

Kait Carson: Do I detect a theme? I’ll echo Maggie and Kathy/Kaitlyn. I live in St. John Valley area of Aroostook County. My backyard provides ample distraction for four season enjoyment. Hiking in the spring/summer/fall and snowshoeing in the winter over the old logging roads fill the days. Research trips are also on the agenda this year. My latest WIP is set in a fictitious town in the Allagash. Been a while since I visited the area. Summer in Maine is delectable, delightful, and lasts just long enough to make you long for the change of season.

 

Matt Cost: I much enjoy walking the dogs in the woods behind my house, a visit to Popham Beach, maybe Old Orchard Beach, and a festival or two. The fact is, though, that my truest enjoyment in the summer months occurs doing outdoor book events. I just recently had the pleasure of signing and selling books at the Belgrades Lakes Craft Fair with fellow Maine Crime Writers Maureen Milliken, Kate Flora, and John Clark.

We had a fabulous day chatting amongst ourselves and the reading public. I will also be attending the 2nd Friday events in my hometown of Brunswick for the next three months. There will be music, food, crafts, friends, new friends, and of course, books. In July I will be doing a book presentation at the Southport Memorial Library on the beautiful Maine Coast, and in August I will talking about my latest published book, Mainely Wicked, at the Readfield Community Library on the shores of Lake Maranacook, where the climatic scene of the book takes place. Those are my true sweet moments of summer.

John Clark: We spend a week in Perry every summer, usually over the 4th of July and hike a different trail or two each year as well as enjoy parades and book sales. Beth kayaks a lot while I bring a stack of books. We also keep a tally of the license plates we see from other states and Canada.

Closer to home, I like taking Piper (maybe Reid and Gemma this summer) fishing. I also love sunning on the back deck while reading and watching hummingbirds down low and eagles soaring high above. I’ve seen as many as seven at one time.

Brenda Buchanan:  Lots of common themes here!

Our backyard is a verdant pleasure, and the deer eat our tulips, too, Maggie.

We also will make a trip to Curtis Memorial Library in Brunswick to see the new exhibit, Robert McCloskey: The Art of Wonder.  The Illustration Institute, founded by our dear friends Scott Nash and Nancy Gibson-Nash, is the library’s partner in this collaboration, and every project the institute undertakes is so well done. Also, Sal of blueberry fame is a friend from my days in Hancock County.

Speaking of Hancock County, in about a month we’ll be there at the sweet cottage we rent on Allen Cove in Brooklin. I look forward to mornings writing on The Porch With The Perfect View , and afternoons hiking and swimming.  Our time in Brooklin is a highlight of every year, and I cannot wait.

The Porch With The Perfect View. It almost looks fake, doesn’t it?

Wishing everyone a great summer!  It’s short, but oh so sweet!

Inspiration by Kait Carson

“Between every two pines is a doorway to a new world.” – John Muir (1838-1914)

We’ve had several posts on the glorious nature of Maine this month. As I’m posting near the end, I wanted to talk about how nature gives me inspiration.

A birds-eye view

Authors are often asked where they get their ideas. The question gives me a silent chuckle and reminds my sixth-grade class when our teacher asked each of us to use a word in a sentence. She gave one boy, a known prankster, the word “clues”. He stood (we were very respectful in those days) and said, “I keep my clues in the clues closet.” The class dissolved in laughter. Would it surprise you to know we are still in touch?

There are days when I wish I had an inspiration closet. Unfortunately, no such animal exists in my arsenal. What I have are the woods. A quarter mile hike through my backyard to the trailhead and I’m in a different world. A world of magic and wonder. We maintain one old logging road. Older roads, overgrown and mystical, shoot off in various directions. Even the main trail, well-trod though it is. holds surprises.

An unexpected visitor

In the old days, people buried their garbage. Excavating odd humps under trees or in small clearings have yielded a treasure trove of old medicine bottles, tin tobacco cans, bits of jewelry, and cookery. A glimpse into life the way live was lived in the 1920s. More than one thick bottle has sported a skull and crossbones etched in the glass. Several of these discoveries have spawned short stories. Clues buried in the trash. Cold cases solved.

Beyond the trailhead, the woods darken and the air cools. Sounds unfamiliar to the open meadows fill the air. Bird calls echo, woodpeckers bang out their distinctive tattoo, and moose bellow. Mushrooms shine like brass knobs. The creak and scream of limb against limb in the wind sounds almost human. Walking through the woods requires full attention. Whatever occupied my mind before I entered is purged in favor of heightened senses. The pinks of ladies’ slippers peek beneath tree trunks stand out, forget-me-nots bloom like a blue carpet, and hobblebush shows off its delicate white flowers. Spiders weave dew sparkled webs between branches. Eagle nests fill the tops of pines, so does the occasional bear cub. The acid scent of pines and the sweet scent of apple blossom mingle into an intoxicating brew. The mind catalogues all of this effortlessly.

Back to the meadow

Sometimes, I mount the ladder to the old tree stand, notebook in hand, and record sights, sounds, and snippets of thoughts. The woods are never stagnant. My camera is my constant companion. Time passes in a heartbeat. At the end of the hike, I’m refreshed, and inevitably discover that the woods worked its magic. The doorway between the pines has opened. Inspiration is my reward.

Do you have a favorite place that inspires you?

Weekend Update: June 24-25, 2023

Next week at Maine Crime Writers there will be posts by Kait Carson (Monday) and Maureen Milliken (Thursday), and a group post on Friday.

In the news department, here’s what’s happening with some of us who blog regularly at Maine Crime Writers:

From Kathy Lynn Emerson: Remember those non-fiction books I was contemplating self-publishing in print-on-demand trade paperback editions? I couldn’t resist seeing if it was possible and the result is that you can now pre-order paperback copies of my Agatha-award winning How to Write Killer Historical Mysteries, 2022 edition. The release date is June 30. Links to Amazon and Barnes & Noble are below but any bookseller or library should be able to order a copy through their usual channels.

Barnes & Noble

Amazon

 

Kate Flora: Excited to have a story in this collection:

Beach Reads Day has arrived!

Matt Cost, John Clark, Kate Flora and Maureen Milliken are at the Maine Crime Writers Beach Reads Day at the Belgrade Village Green Craft fair, 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Sunday, June 25, in Belgrade Lakes. The event is in support of the Friends of Belgrade Public Library. Come on over and say hi, check out our books, and enjoy a great craft fair and a  beautiful part of Maine! The Village Green is at the intersection of Main Street (Route 27) and West Road in Belgrade, about 15 miles north of Augusta. Just head north and you can’t miss it!

 

An invitation to readers of this blog: Do you have news relating to Maine, Crime, or Writing? We’d love to hear from you. Just comment below to share.

And a reminder: If your library, school, or organization is looking for a speaker, we are often available to talk about the writing process, research, where we get our ideas, and other mysteries of the business, along with the very popular “Making a Mystery” with audience participation, and “Casting Call: How We Staff Our Mysteries.” We also do programs on Zoom. Contact Kate Flora

Taking the Summer Off…or will the best laid plans go awry?

Kate Flora: After my agent declared that she didn’t like my new book and found my character “not very likeable” I sulked in the corner for a bit and then decided that I would take the summer off. Evidently my habit of referring to my writing as “homework” was telling. I need to put some space between my current self and the self I need to be to write more likeable characters.

That is the plan, anyway. But plans, like rules, often seem to be made to be broken. At least that is the message that I am getting from the universe. I’m a week into my resolution, with a stack of wonderful books on my lamp table waiting for my attention. There’s the new 700-page novel, The Covenant of Water, by Abraham Verghese, whose book Cutting For Stone is an all-time favorite. There’s The Comfort of Crows by Margaret Renkl, a gift from a recent guest. A beautiful book about poisons by Ben Hubbard that I got for Mother’s Day.

Yes, it looks like I have my summer’s break full of great things to read. Plus it is summer in Maine, which means guests. It means lovely dinners and drinks with my neighbors. It means spending a lot of time in my garden fighting back the weeds and the pests. It means harvesting my blueberries and making lots of jam.

So what, you are wondering, might make these idyllic plans go awry? It’s that darned writer in me. I need to find out why my character—a character I like a lot—isn’t striking my agent as likeable. And then, because evidently the write’s nature abhors a vacuum, I sat down at the keyboard to play the other day and dug up a series of linked stories from long ago. I wasn’t sure where I’d left them but in the process of rereading and trying to figure that out, I got hooked on the last story, actually more of a novella, and find I have to finish it and figure out what happens. I may have to write more stories to explore where the character goes from here.

It should be fine. I’m always curious to see where writing takes me. Where my imagination wants to go. One New Year’s Day several years ago, I had two different books warring in my head that both wanted to be written. I decided I would sit down at my desk, poise my fingers over the keyboard, type “Chapter One” and see what happened. What happened was a Joe Burgess book. I have a feeling this summer will be a bit like that. I have no deadlines. I have nothing I have to write, so it will be fun to see whether the linked stories become a book, or whether something else comes along and elbows them aside.

There are writers who are planners, I know. My late friend Lea Wait always had a five year plan and was very disciplined about her work. I am not like Lea. I’m more willing to go with the adventure of the thing. Lately, though, I haven’t been feeling any sense of fun. But I hope that by September 1st many more books will be read, and I will be back at my keyboard feeling the passion and adventure of writing instead of calling it “my homework.”

Stay tuned…

Trying to sell books on a cold and rainy day. Is that an adventure?

Is it a Mystery, a Thriller, or Suspense? By Matt Cost

I recently was a moderator for a panel at Crime Wave for the Romantic Suspense panel consisting of writing wonders Carla Neggars, Paul Doiron, Susan Vaughan, and Susan Stoker. This gave me pause to ponder the separation of categorization of genres that I write within. Is it a mystery, a thriller, or a suspense?

I was a at the ThrillerFest conference back before the time that will not be mentioned attending a panel that first began these questions percolating in my mind. At this panel, the question came up as what the difference between a mystery and a thriller was. Pretty simple stuff. But everybody had a different opinion and it became downright cantankerous up there on the stage.

A simple dictionary search of the word mystery is any affair, thing, or person that presents features or qualities so obscure as to arouse curiosity or speculation. The word thriller is described as an exciting, suspenseful play or story, especially a mystery story. Hm. And suspense is a state or condition of mental uncertainty or excitement, as in awaiting a decision or outcome, usually accompanied by a degree of apprehension or anxiety.

Untangling this box of loose translations seems to be a thrilling, suspenseful, mystery. So, it is not enough to unpack the jumble, but necessary to reduce these words to their core essence. Simplification leads me to a thriller being a cliffhanger, suspense being a state of anticipation, and a mystery being a puzzle or secret.

Two of my favorite mysteries of all time would be The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler and Devil in a Blue Dress by Walter Mosely. My top two thrillers would have to include Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris and The Spy Who Came in from the Cold by John le Carré. Suspense would then be Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn and The Shining by Stephen King.

Of course, doing a simple internet search, I can find all of these titles on top lists for mystery, thriller, and suspense. The category placement of my most recent novel, Velma Gone Awry, then, would in the mystery, thriller, suspense section. Of course, at Sherman’s Maine Coast Bookshops, it is in the Maine Authors section.

Not to mention the breakdown into subcategories of cozy, noir, traditional, crime, hardboiled, PI, capers, medical, legal, historical, techno, psychological, domestic, spy, political, supernatural, narrative, cliffhanger, dramatic, romantic, and comedic. Whoa. It is enough to make one tired just thinking about it. Perhaps, as in a recent blog I suggested that perhaps it is enough to just write, it is also enough to just read and not worry about the labels attached.

But if push came to shove, my personal definition would thus be refined to is a mystery is something happens and must be solved, a thriller is something being raced against to prevent from happening, and suspense is something waiting to happen. All three can contain romance, but in suspense, that romance has an angst preventing it from happening until later in the book. And, of course, all these genres intertwine on a regular basis.

What thinks you?

Write on.

About the Author

Matt Cost was a history major at Trinity College. He owned a mystery bookstore, a video store, and a gym, before serving a ten-year sentence as a junior high school teacher. In 2014 he was released and began writing. And that’s what he does. He writes histories and mysteries.

Cost has published four books in the Mainely Mystery series, with the fifth, Mainely Wicked, due out in August of 2023. He has also published four books in the Clay Wolfe Trap series, with the fifth, Pirate Trap, due out in December of 2023.

For historical novels, Cost has published At Every Hazard and its sequel, Love in a Time of Hate, as well as I am Cuba. In April of 2023, Cost combined his love of histories and mysteries into a historical PI mystery set in 1923 Brooklyn, Velma Gone Awry.

Cost now lives in Brunswick, Maine, with his wife, Harper. There are four grown children: Brittany, Pearson, Miranda, and Ryan. A chocolate Lab and a basset hound round out the mix. He now spends his days at the computer, writing.

‘Creative’ use of tense by writers makes me … tense

I’m often accused, even by people who purport to love me, that I’m way too picky about writing when I read. Not everyone was an English major! No one cares!

Yeah? Well I care. And, dear reader, you do, too. You just don’t know it. Things that take you out of the book, even confuse the meaning, are going on all around you and just because you’re oblivous doesn’t mean it’s not affecting your experience. You have no idea how much better that book would be if that one thing wasn’t going on. Or those zillion things.

I have many peeves. Don’t even get me started on point of view change in the middle of a scene. Or middle of a paragraph.

But that’s a rant for another day. Today’s topic? PRESENT TENSE.

[Disclaimer: This is not an attack on any specific writer. I’ve been set off by several podcasts I’ve listened to in the past week in which tortured use of present tense drove me over the edge. But it reminded me how much I hate it in books. Not that I needed reminding.]

The best tense to use in long-form fiction or nonfiction is past tense. Boom.

Let me explain.

It’s virtually impossible to consistently write in present tense when you’re telling a story, particularly a long one.

When you write in present tense, there are still times when you need to use past tense. Most people who try to write an entire book (or podcast) in present tense don’t get that part right. The missteps are distracting and confusing. In some cases, it changes the meaning of a sentence. I’m not kidding. I’ve seen it happen.

Present-tensers also slip up and use past tense instead of present, since it’s hard to maintain that unnatural tense use for a long time. Those slipups also makes things confusing and inconsistent.

I’d give examples, but it’s been a long day. Now that I’ve pointed it out, you’ll know what I mean when you see it.

If you love writing in present tense, I know I’ve upset you.  As I said, it’s been a long day. I don’t have the energy to tip-toe around this topic. I know that my brassy pronouncements make people uncomfortable. The fact I make them sometimes offends people. That doesn’t mean I’m wrong. [Someone I supervised once complained to my boss that I made “brassy pronouncements.” Has that ever been considered a valid complaint against a male supervisor? A blog post for another day. Anyway, I thought it was ridiculous. So now I own it. Brassy as charged. Anyone who doesn’t like it can kiss my brass.]

Back to you, though, present tense-lover. Why are you making so much extra work for yourself? Isn’t writing a book hard enough as it is?

While we’re at it, I want to go on the record on what I call past future perfect tense. It’s uneccesary and annoying. [If there’s a better name for this bizarre usage, I apologize. It’s been a long time since the nuns battered this stuff into me with their smacking rulers and evil glares. I may not know all the terms, but like a nun zeroing in on a student who’s making brassy pronouncements in class, I know what I can’t abide.]

When I was a sports editor, the sportwriters loved past future perfect tense. I hated it. I edited that s*&t right out of their stories. [BTW, it wasn’t any of them who complained about my brassy pronouncements, though I’m sure they didn’t like them.]

Here’s what I’m talking about:

“Bobby Jones would hit five home runs in Friday’s double-header.”

What’s wrong with writing “Bobby Jones hit five home runs in Friday’s double-header”?

NOTHING.

My theory is that the sports writers wanted to write like the guys on TV talked. Trying to sound like someone on TV is not an effective model for good writing.

You can disagree with me on all of this. Go ahead. Just keep in mind that if readers are pulled out of your story because they have to try to untangle your storytelling, your writing is doing the opposite of what you want it to do.

And yes, I know this blog post is in present tense. It’s also in second person (a blog post for another day). That’s because it’s short and it’s a blog post. It’s a whole different animal than a long article or book. I also used past tense. I’m doing it now. No wait, I’m not. But I did when I wrote that sentence before I didn’t. I am again! No, I’m not. But I was.

That’s it on that topic.

Below is a photo I took last week of Katahdin from Abol Bridge. It’s got nothing to do with this post, but it makes me happy. Welcome summer!

 

 

 

 

For The Love Of Books

Charlene D’Avanzo: I’ve treasured books for as long as I can remember. As a kid I literally devoured the “Cherry Ames Student Nurse” series and remember my mother complaining that the books were too costly to be read in a day.

The series was set in World War Two when Cherry Ames solved problems and captured criminals “demonstrating that women can succeed in the public, working world”. Apparently I was a young feminist before I knew what the word meant!

No question, books are revered – poke around online and you’ll find lots of terrific literary quotes. A few of my favorites:

  “The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn,         the more places you’ll go.” – Dr. Seuss, I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!

   “Books are a uniquely portable magic” – Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of          the Craft.

   “Until I feared I would lose it, I never loved to read. One does not love breathing.”
– Harper Lee To Kill a Mockingbird

   “Reading is an active, imaginative act; it takes work.”―Khaled Hosseini

Another critical point: “If You Have Something To Say Write A Book”. But the             reverse is also true – “Don’t Write Book Until You Have Something To Say”.

So why did I – a scientist who wrote technical marine research articles – decide to write            fiction?  As I explain in the rationale for book one in my Oceanographer Mara Tusconi series: “I was motivated to write Cold Blood, Hot Seaby stories of researchers maliciously targeted by climate change deniers”.

That’s what I wanted to get across – dedicated climate scientists I knew had been ridiculed by politicians who knew zero about our warming planet and the serious realities of climate change. I was livid, people needed to understand what was going on, and the “uniquely portable magic” of popular fiction was the best vehicle.

Weekend Update: June 17-18, 2023

Next week at Maine Crime Writers there will be posts by Charlene D’Avanzo (Monday) Maureen Milliken (Tuesday), Matt Cost (Thursday), and a special guest (Friday).

In the news department, here’s what’s happening with some of us who blog regularly at Maine Crime Writers:

Matt Cost, John Clark, Kate Flora and Maureen Milliken are at the Maine Crime Writers Beach Reads Day at the Belgrade Village Green Craft fair, 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Sunday, June 25, at the Belgrade Lakes Village Green. The event is in support of the Friends of Belgrade Public Library. Come on over and say hi, check out our books, and enjoy a great craft fair and beautiful part of Maine!

Matt Cost had a wonderful time giving a book presentation at the South Freeport Congregational Church last weekend, as well as doing a reading, moderating a panel, and being a panelist at Maine Crime Wave last weekend.  That’s me trying to pretend I am on the final panel of the day.

Next weekend, on June 24th, I will be doing a book signing at Sherman’s Maine Coast Book Shop in Damariscotta from 1-3 p.m. On Sunday, June 25th, I will be at the Belgrade Craft Fair selling and signing books with fellow Maine Crime Writers Maureen Milliken, Kate Flora, and John Clark.

 

Matt Cost moderating at the Maine Crime Wave

Jule Selbo moderating a panel

An invitation to readers of this blog: Do you have news relating to Maine, Crime, or Writing? We’d love to hear from you. Just comment below to share.

And a reminder: If your library, school, or organization is looking for a speaker, we are often available to talk about the writing process, research, where we get our ideas, and other mysteries of the business, along with the very popular “Making a Mystery” with audience participation, and “Casting Call: How We Staff Our Mysteries.” We also do programs on Zoom. Contact Kate Flora

Memory and Memorial

By the time you read this, Memorial Day will have come and gone. I try to pay it the appropriate attention. Like many Maine families (and others), I know scores, both alive and dead, who served: my father and grandfather, my uncles, even two of my nephews. My mother-in-law was a Marine, about which we do not joke.

I associate Memorial Day most memorably with the sweet bready smell of blooming lilacs, but also with veterans handing out red plastic poppies, student marching bands, and old faded men in old faded uniforms marching into the long moments of silence.

Only a week later, I returned from my 50th college reunion at that well-known liberal arts school in central Maine, and I will skip the obligatory joke about how old all those other people looked. I will say that, by show of hands, there were many more joint replacements than tattoos. Not that there were no tattoos.

The highlight of the weekend for me, faintly macabre as it sounds, was the memorial service one of my classmates arranged for the forty-six members of our class who have died. Better than ten per cent of the freshman class, and if that number didn’t give people pause, nothing else would.

The remembrance consisted of a reader speaking the name of each person who was gone, then a friend or acquaintance of that person picking a red rose from a pail and placing it into a bouquet that would collectively represent everyone we had lost. We would carry the bouquet with us to dinners and events for the rest of the weekend.

In 1969, when we all were first on campus, like any group of young people, we divided ourselves into groups: the jocks, the freaks, the science nerds, the brains, the party people, the frat boys and the sorority girls. It was a strange and divisive time, deep into the Vietnam War, steeped in conflicts over civil rights and gender politics. At the same time, we loved our beer, dancing badly to the Rolling Stones, and all the other escapades that make the privilege of college life so dear in the moment.

What struck me deeply in the memorial was that nearly all of our dead classmates had someone to add a rose for them, and that many—most—of the connections crossed those strange and arbitrary lines we had drawn when we were younger and more foolish. It became clear that, if nothing else, the passage of time teaches you to suspend your judgments, weaken your prejudices, open up your assumptions to new information. It was moving to see how many of those old disconnections had faded.

Which would be lovely if all of us lived long enough to do that for each other. But just in the group of my classmates, some died while they were students, others in only their twenties and thirties. I was reminded that we don’t always have the time we think we have to act better than we have. Which is all the more reason to loosen our self-imposed boundaries, to cross over the divisions we have fashioned for ourselves, to open up our selves to the possibility we might be wrong about something. Or someone. What would be fine, I think, is if you could bring someone a rose, or a poppy, before someone needs to bring one for you.