Guy Stewart's Blog, page 12

STUPEFYING STORIES! MY FAVORITE ONLINE MAGAZINE OF SPECULATIVE FICTION

The Never-ending FAQ • 21 August 2024 ~ Stupefying Stories Magazine

JAX LUNAR LUMBER Chapter 7: (s)Turdland Vilbix Meets Their Match

On the way to the neighborhood Home Depot for the obligatory weekend project as well as a load of flowers and potting soil, I started musing on my hitch as a “yard ape” for a company called Knox Lumber. We, too were busy this time of year, and it was a familiar feel whenever I went to one of these stored. Know was one of the original “Do It Yourself” (aka DIY) stores, a precursor to today’s Lowes, Menards, and Home Depot. Eventually bought out by Payless Cashways https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Payless_Cashways the rumor in the store was that you could build an entire house by waiting patiently for a year while EVERYTHING went on sale…Rolling down the driveway, I suddenly had a thought and snickered.
When my wife asked, “What?” I shook my head. “No, what?”

I reiterated the train of thought above, then added, “I was wondering if it would be possible to build a colony on the Moon using just what you could buy at Knox?”

We pondered it for a few moments, then suddenly said in unison, “Yes!”

Inspired by Matt Weir, the result of my musing continues below.

Sturdlan Vilbix appeared just as they’d predicted and started spreading their drones. Little Rayna ran in, cute as a bug, and hugged my leg.

“Grandpa, Grandpa, do the turkey neck! Please! Please! Please!” Natalie, Ronan, and Rayna cried, jumping up and down.

Noah, oldest and sometime wisest, watched me carefully and said under his breath, “Granddumpsterfire? Neck or no-neck?”

That was the code phrase my grandchildren, aka The Council of Four decided on for me to let them know if it was a Go-No-Go situation. Rolling my eyes, I shook my head several times, shaking my wattles of fat and making cheek noises. Rayna hugged me again and ran out of the room.”

Sturdlan, who had instantly become Turdland to the Four said, “I’m sorry Mr. Whatever-You-Are, are the little adults removed now until her majesty, Queen of 4D rLife and the most influential singer the entire Planet of Earth has ever or EVER will know – and me myself and I, her Essential Handler…”

“I’m the Owner and Proprietor of JAX LUNAR LUMBER, Mr. Turdland.” I grinned a toothy grin at them. They couldn’t see what I saw over their shoulder.

Roza Rymbayeva Golovkin, Six-Times-Great-Granddaughter Of The Last Walker on the Moon, Eugene Cernan, had been contract to perform a concert on the Moon, ticking off a number of Firsts: First Spacesuit Concert; First Megahit Song Composed on the Moon, First Concert Arranged By the Multiple-Award-Winning Artist, Sturdlan Vilbix…”

I cut them off, “I’m certain all that is very interesting, but…”

They were not going to give up their constant live-streamed limelight easily, and cut me off, “Now, I’d like you to scurry on and make sure your ‘grandchildren’,” I’d been feeling sorry for him until that moment. He talked about them like they were an infection that needed a dose of anti-Life to get ride of. He spoke without regard for my grandkids, who were Citizens of the Moon. I sighed. I’d hoped we’d be able to be civil, but it appeared they weren’t interested.

I hadn’t wanted to give the grandkids full reign, but they’d planned, plotted, constructed, and prepared to separate Turdland from their meal ticket…I mean their employer, the last living relative of the last Man to Walk On The Moon, the magnificent

The Grands, or the Council of Four had hacked Roza Rymbayeva Golovkin, Six-Times-Great-Granddaughter Of The Last Walker – who, Natalie discovered preferred the lest-grand ‘Roza’, just wanted to pay her respects at the Cernan Lunar Memorial and spend some time at the foot of the Lunar Tree planted in his name. “Without,” Natalie told me firmly, “The bozo who keeps her on a leash so he has an easy way to make money for his stupid habits...”

“I don’t need to know. We’ll get Roza out to her ancestor’s tree and we’ll make sure Turdland has an…interesting time. Grandma’s got something really special cooked up for him.”

Ronan jogged in, Lunar-long legs making him almost as tall as his Earth-grown cousin, Noah, even though he was only nine and said, “Gee-Pa, everything’s ready for the windbag.”

At that moment, the windbag in question stepped out of a lift, saying, “We have very important work here to do! Billions of Humans are clamoring to see me…” they snapped their mouth shut, staring at the assemblage looking through them at the singer and several-times removed granddaughter of the Last Man to Walk On the Moon stopped, cleared their throat and said, “I mean ONLY to speak for Madame Golovkin when I say…”

The grandkids pushed them aside and went to Roza, gently taking her hands and leading her past Turdland, ignoring them. Just then, every piece of spy equipment Turdland’s people had brought had its electronics and quantum circuits scrambled. They shouted, “Hey!” and them found themselves alone.

With me. I said, “Nice to finally mee the unenhanced you, Brad.”

Resources: The Moon Trees, https://www.urbanforestdweller.com/we-almost-forgot-about-the-moon-trees/;  https://www.space.com/moon-colonists-lunar-lava-tubes.htmlImage: https://external-preview.redd.it/xL2Y2UHb2B0JN5P162FShQfxqCTYNuOp3WEYxdF86j4.jpg?width=1080&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=6955074e421a5e98c69b2da35179a3a91faa5662

IDEA ON TUESDAY 641

Each Tuesday, rather than a POSSIBLY IRRITATING ESSAY, I'd like to both challenge you and lend a helping hand. I generate more speculative and teen story ideas than I can ever use. My family rolls its collective eyes when I say, "Hang on a second! I just have to write down this idea..." Here, I'll include the initial inspiration (quote, website, podcast, etc.) and then a thought or two that came to mind. These will simply be seeds -- plant, nurture, fertilize, chemically treat, irradiate, test or stress them as you see fit. I only ask if you let me know if anything comes of them. Regarding horror, I found this insight in line with WIRED FOR STORY: “ We seek out…stories which give us a place to put our fears…Stories that frighten us or unsettle us - not just horror stories, but ones that make us uncomfortable or that strike a chord somewhere deep inside - give us the means to explore the things that scare us…” – Lou Morgan (The Guardian)

Horror Trope: artifact of doom
Recent Event: A real-life, right now mummy kidnapping! http://www.examiner.com/art-in-new-york/ancient-egyptian-artifacts-discovered-smuggling-bust

Oh, we LOVE our mommies…er…mummies! 100 pieces of King Tutankhamen’s funerary stuff, as well as a bunch of “fake stuff” (they call them replicas) is currently on display here at the Science Museum of Minnesota – which is what’s inspiring THIS post. So OBVIOUSLY, the stolen sarcophagi (which, BTW, in Latin means “flesh eater”…ew…) are bad luck for the New York antique dealers who went down in the bust. So far, the curse of THESE mummies hasn’t reached the Jordanian collector being sought after by his countrymen…

But WHAT IF…he made a clean get away and he’s tipping a few cold Mountain Dews in his air-conditioned house in Jordan even as I write this. He’s pocketed his finder’s fee and he figures he’s home free and is just opening the file on his computer for his next heist. It picks up a virus like so many other computers and his AVAST program supposedly eats it up.

The next time his fourteen-year-old son, Itamar goes online to update Snapchat and chat with his friends all over the planet, the computer virus from the sarcophagi takes a little leap from inside his phone, onto his hand and after he’s done with his session, he yawns and rubs his eyes, passing a proto-biological virus to the moist membranes of his eyes.

Late in the morning – because his dad is pounding on the door to wake him up he rubs his eyes and notices his vision is a little foggy. He tried to tell his dad to knock it off, but all he can do is moan which sounded WAY too much like a sound he’d make when he was...He covered his mouth in horror, sitting up in bed. He didn’t notice anything except that the hand in front of his face was wrapped in dark brown bandages…

Names: ♂, Jordan
Image: https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/51niGRrH6DL.jpg

THE “PERMANENT” WORLDS I HAVE CREATED: Parameters and Stories…NOW What?

On October 7, 2007, I started this blog. Sixteen years later, I am revising and doing some different things with my blog. My wife and I are now retired senior citizens, our kids are both married, we have a bonus daughter and her wife and we have three grandchildren, the oldest of which just became a teenager. I have forty-five professional publications, plus countless other publications as a slushpile reader, and sometime essay contributor to Stupefying Stories https://stupefyingstories.blogspot.com/.
These days, I write whenever I want to – or when I’m not busy exploring the world with my wife or kids or grandkids. I write and read constantly. Then I discovered that I was writing longer and longer pieces. My new focus is to write shorter; and to write HUMOR. On purpose. Maybe I can still irritate people while being funny. It works pretty well for John Scalzi! We’ll see what happens. Oh, I also discovered that more and more of my stories are falling into a set of futures I’ve invented. This is all because I dislike "disposable worlds" -- too much like the society we live in. I want to reuse the places.

THE COLLAPSE: Invented by Jeffery Kooistra (https://isfdb.org/cgi-bin/ea.cgi?Jeffery_D._Kooistra) I have permission to tell stories in his world!

WHEETAH WORLD: Humans and WheetAH are the ONLY sapient life we know of.

KOREA COLONIZES SPACE: South Korea kidnaps North Korea to a prepared Valles Marineris while the reigning Kim is visiting the World using teleportation technology and their advanced fusion power tech…

RIVER: Humanity split into the Confluence of Humanity, which is a secular, biotech-anything-goes society where Human is whatever we want it to be (which of course, raises problems, like Irog and Gordon Oyeyemi…) and the Empire of Man, which has “Emperor Reverence” and Humans MUST be 65% Original Human Genome Project DNA or more…it encompasses 4 worlds, one of which is River…includes Enstad’s Planet and Sirmiq.

VERTICAL VILLAGES: After the near-collapse of the environment, Humanity passed (“with strong coercion”) the Climate Rescue Edict from the World Council of Authorities Secular and Religious (WCASR) which moved most of Humanity into Two-Kilometer-Tall arcologies (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arcology) of 500,000 each; 20,000 arcologies named after the nearest large, sprawling city it replaced. This also birthed the Return To the Wilds Act which sent most people who had no “wild world” skills packing in to the Vertical Villages. Deconstruction And Recycling Robots (DeARRs) rolled out to take everything unnecessary apart, transport it to 10,000 person Towns for processing and shipment to the Vertical Villages for reuse. Being a Townie was a temporary assignment and entailed being shipped to an area you were totally unfamiliar with (culture, language, etc). Also, Narns had started to appear (initially raccoons and crows – already smart, but driven by Human intersection with their natural world and driving them to evolve far more quickly than would have been possible. (What if Humans were used to “educate” alien races less advanced in order to pay off the Debt incurred when we got FTL, extended life, and fusion power? How does The Information Apocalypse and the Library in the Erg of Bilma fit in? And what about the subjugation by Western Civilization (BTW – initiated by the Greek and Roman Empires, proceeding to the British Empire, then the American Empire, followed by the Chinese Dynasties, and the Indian Empire; concluding with the Mayan and Aztec and Inca cultures; have done to countless cultures) in fact the idea of Human Cultures subsuming successive cultures? Is that our biology or a Fact Of All Life?

UNITY OF SAPIENTS: Humanity was one of the weakest members of an association of Diverse Biology Sapients (DBS classifications ala James White’s SECTOR GENERAL interstellar hospital books and stories) by virtue of our first interstellar probe swarm bound for Proxima Centauri’s single planet, literally running into the Shabe who had been studying Humanity (ostensibly to incorporate Humanity’s oddly flexible DNA into a service branch of Shabe. In FACT, there were three factions vying for power who wanted to use Humanity to further their cause and figure out how Humans remained so “plastic”…)

So far, I’ve written at least ONE story in each world – mostly unpublished (though there are several that ARE.) In future posts I’m going to talk about the creation of each one of the “universes” and what I did to make them real…and how you can do it if you’d like!

That’s it for now!
Image: https://elblog.pl/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/compressed_img-SW9CNvKccpWEU8CW1VgAGkFH.png

WRITING ADVICE: How Do I Know What I'm Saying?

On October 7, 2007, I started this blog. Seventeen years later, I am revising and doing some different things with my blog. My wife and I are now retired senior citizens, our kids are all married and we have three grandchildren, the oldest of whom is starting high school the Fall; the middle starting seventh grade; and the youngest starting Kindergarten while his dad starts college. I have forty-five professional publications, plus countless others, I’m a slushpile reader, and sometime essay contributor to Stupefying Stories https://stupefyingstories.blogspot.com/. And my FIRST novel came out at the end of March this year, 2024.

These days, I write whenever I want to – or when I’m not busy exploring the world with my wife or kids or grandkids. I write and read constantly. Then I discovered that I was writing longer and longer pieces. My new focus is to write shorter; and to write HUMOR. On purpose. Maybe I can still irritate people while being funny. It works pretty well for John Scalzi! We’ll see what happens. I’ve also started to ponder the question above: HOW DO I KNOW what I'm saying – be it in essays, curriculum, fiction, or the odds and ends things I do?

I’ve spent the past few days reflecting on recent rejections; 32 times since May of 2023 – though there have been 3 acceptances since then as well. Two of the acceptances were in the works for a long time – EMERALD OF EARTH, and a short story, “What Fraction Makes Man”. One was a surprise, “Feedback” (which recently ALMOST made it into the 2024 (so-far) MOST read stories at STUPEFYING STORIES!) If you’d like to read it, follow the link: https://stupefyingstories.blogspot.com/2024/03/feedback-by-guy-stewart.html

So, what exactly am I looking for? What do I think is important and how does it come out in my writing?

So, let me poke around one of my best-received stories: “Fairybones”. It was published years ago on the podcast website, CAST OF WONDERS. The editor liked it SO much, she put in a nomination for a Nebula award and it was one of the “Best of the Year” (2015) by DIABOLICAL PLOTS editor, David Steffen. You can listen to it or read it here: https://www.castofwonders.org/2015/11/episode-181-fairy-bones-by-guy-stewart/

The theme WAS unusual – it had a “typical” disconnected teen boy and his grandmother. I’m a retired teacher and spent 10 years substitute teaching 6th-12th graders in science; ten years teaching 8th Grade Earth Science; another 10 years teaching 9th Grade Physical Science; and ten years as a School Counselor following the graduating class of 2018 from 9th grade through graduation (and other classes as needed). My judgement of “typical” was gathered over 40 years of experience with adolescents, half of them boy-men; half of them girl-women.

She was a retired community college professor who’d had no intention of giving up her research just because she retired. She’d discovered…creatures…in the marshland near where she lived now. Her grandson’s parents were off somewhere and she volunteered to watch over him.

The first thing someone mentioned was that “old people” in science fiction intended for young people were unusual. Old people who didn’t want to “impart their wisdom to the Next Generation” were even rarer. Clementine Dresden, retired community college teacher has kept up her research. She’s divorced, had two children, who have complicated, Late-21st Century relationships and travel to “futuristic” destinations…but have little use for a sulky teenaged boy with the improbable name Dexter bar-Jonah Dresden-Xiong-Johnson-Niabuto.

He shows up on her “doorstep” and will be staying for a while. Ultimately, she involves him with her research into the reason that the usual “…mouse, rabbit, squirrel, or vole skeletons in owl pellets had started to vanish...”

To stave off deadly boredom, he agrees to help her with her owl pellet survey. She not only discovers that her grandson is smart, he discovers that his grandmother is smart as well.

There’s humor in the story. Science. Fiction. An unexpected relationship grows beyond its previous boundaries. And the weird thing is that Clementine is ME…the me I’d be if my wife left me (not a reality, we've been 37 years together as of yesterday). I put ME into the story.

The setting is also near and dear to me – it’s at the end of the street. I even used the real name of the park reserve in the story. I KNOW there are Great Horned Owls at the reserve – I hear the pair calling to each other roughly every-other late autumn. Oh, I tossed in the hint of conspiracy there to keep the story moving.

I even play with the expectations most of my peers have of teenagers. See, I’ve always liked them. I LOVE being mentally challenged (I KNOW how that sounds, but that’s NOT what I meant!). Clementine does, too (though she’s out of practice): “She’d never suspected her grandson, or anyone between the ages of fourteen and eighty-three, of having a flexible mind or the ability to do more than act predictably given their current cultural parameters. She certainly didn’t. The evidence was giving her a headache.”

I’m NOT going to tell you the end of the story, you can find out if you follow the link above. The exercise was for ME to figure out what I write about.

So far: science; the PRACTICALLY unbelievable; even friendship; oddball characters; and ‘“I’m not stupid, Grandma. After all, I am your grandson.”

“He smiled so brilliantly and with such conceit that she knew he was teasing. She patted her Afro and said, “That’s true. I will deny neither observation.” Again, their gazes caught and they both burst out laughing.” And lastly, I just realized family.
In my most recent story, these are AGAIN themes. That one was rejected once, but I just rewrote it pretty much entirely. The thing is that, now that I’m actively learning what my themes are…maybe I can actually start structuring stories to clarify the theme as well as strengthen the theme to a point where the characters come alive and the story’s heart starts to beat…

Links: https://swirlandspark.com/2014/12/03/what-are-you-trying-to-say/
Image: https://handmadewriting.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/picture1.png

POSSIBLY IRRITATING ESSAY: How Do I Know What I'm Saying?

On October 7, 2007, I started this blog. Seventeen years later, I am revising and doing some different things with my blog. My wife and I are now retired senior citizens, our kids are all married and we have three grandchildren, the oldest of whom is starting high school the Fall; the middle starting seventh grade; and the youngest starting Kindergarten while his dad starts college. I have forty-five professional publications, plus countless others, I’m a slushpile reader, and sometime essay contributor to Stupefying Stories https://stupefyingstories.blogspot.com/. And my FIRST novel came out at the end of March this year, 2024.

These days, I write whenever I want to – or when I’m not busy exploring the world with my wife or kids or grandkids. I write and read constantly. Then I discovered that I was writing longer and longer pieces. My new focus is to write shorter; and to write HUMOR. On purpose. Maybe I can still irritate people while being funny. It works pretty well for John Scalzi! We’ll see what happens. I’ve also started to ponder the question above: HOW DO I KNOW what I'm saying – be it in essays, curriculum, fiction, or the odds and ends things I do?

I’ve spent the past few days reflecting on recent rejections; 32 times since May of 2023 – though there have been 3 acceptances since then as well. Two of the acceptances were in the works for a long time – EMERALD OF EARTH, and a short story, “What Fraction Makes Man”. One was a surprise, “Feedback” (which recently ALMOST made it into the 2024 (so-far) MOST read stories at STUPEFYING STORIES!) If you’d like to read it, follow the link: https://stupefyingstories.blogspot.com/2024/03/feedback-by-guy-stewart.html

So, what exactly am I looking for? What do I think is important and how does it come out in my writing?

So, let me poke around one of my best-received stories: “Fairybones”. It was published years ago on the podcast website, CAST OF WONDERS. The editor liked it SO much, she put in a nomination for a Nebula award and it was one of the “Best of the Year” (2015) by DIABOLICAL PLOTS editor, David Steffen. You can listen to it or read it here: https://www.castofwonders.org/2015/11/episode-181-fairy-bones-by-guy-stewart/

The theme WAS unusual – it had a “typical” disconnected teen boy and his grandmother. I’m a retired teacher and spent 10 years substitute teaching 6th-12th graders in science; ten years teaching 8th Grade Earth Science; another 10 years teaching 9th Grade Physical Science; and ten years as a School Counselor following the graduating class of 2018 from 9th grade through graduation (and other classes as needed). My judgement of “typical” was gathered over 40 years of experience with adolescents, half of them boy-men; half of them girl-women.

She was a retired community college professor who’d had no intention of giving up her research just because she retired. She’d discovered…creatures…in the marshland near where she lived now. Her grandson’s parents were off somewhere and she volunteered to watch over him.

The first thing someone mentioned was that “old people” in science fiction intended for young people were unusual. Old people who didn’t want to “impart their wisdom to the Next Generation” were even rarer. Clementine Dresden, retired community college teacher has kept up her research. She’s divorced, had two children, who have complicated, Late-21st Century relationships and travel to “futuristic” destinations…but have little use for a sulky teenaged boy with the improbable name Dexter bar-Jonah Dresden-Xiong-Johnson-Niabuto.

He shows up on her “doorstep” and will be staying for a while. Ultimately, she involves him with her research into the reason that the usual “…mouse, rabbit, squirrel, or vole skeletons in owl pellets had started to vanish...”

To stave off deadly boredom, he agrees to help her with her owl pellet survey. She not only discovers that her grandson is smart, he discovers that his grandmother is smart as well.

There’s humor in the story. Science. Fiction. An unexpected relationship grows beyond its previous boundaries. And the weird thing is that Clementine is ME…the me I’d be if my wife left me (not a reality, we've been 37 years together as of yesterday). I put ME into the story.

The setting is also near and dear to me – it’s at the end of the street. I even used the real name of the park reserve in the story. I KNOW there are Great Horned Owls at the reserve – I hear the pair calling to each other roughly every-other late autumn. Oh, I tossed in the hint of conspiracy there to keep the story moving.

I even play with the expectations most of my peers have of teenagers. See, I’ve always liked them. I LOVE being mentally challenged (I KNOW how that sounds, but that’s NOT what I meant!). Clementine does, too (though she’s out of practice): “She’d never suspected her grandson, or anyone between the ages of fourteen and eighty-three, of having a flexible mind or the ability to do more than act predictably given their current cultural parameters. She certainly didn’t. The evidence was giving her a headache.”

I’m NOT going to tell you the end of the story, you can find out if you follow the link above. The exercise was for ME to figure out what I write about.

So far: science; the PRACTICALLY unbelievable; even friendship; oddball characters; and ‘“I’m not stupid, Grandma. After all, I am your grandson.”

“He smiled so brilliantly and with such conceit that she knew he was teasing. She patted her Afro and said, “That’s true. I will deny neither observation.” Again, their gazes caught and they both burst out laughing.” And lastly, I just realized family.
In my most recent story, these are AGAIN themes. That one was rejected once, but I just rewrote it pretty much entirely. The thing is that, now that I’m actively learning what my themes are…maybe I can actually start structuring stories to clarify the theme as well as strengthen the theme to a point where the characters come alive and the story’s heart starts to beat…

Links: https://swirlandspark.com/2014/12/03/what-are-you-trying-to-say/
Image: https://handmadewriting.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/picture1.png

IDEAS ON TUESDAY 640

Each Tuesday, rather than a POSSIBLY IRRITATING ESSAY, I'd like to both challenge you and lend a helping hand. I generate more speculative and teen story ideas than I can ever use. My family rolls its collective eyes when I say, "Hang on a second! I just have to write down this idea..." Here, I'll include the initial inspiration (quote, website, podcast, etc.) and then a thought or two that came to mind. These will simply be seeds -- plant, nurture, fertilize, chemically treat, irradiate, test or stress them as you see fit. I only ask if you let me know if anything comes of them? Regarding Fantasy, this insight was startling: “I see the fantasy genre as an ever-shifting metaphor for life in this world, an innocuous medium that allows the author to examine difficult, even controversial, subjects with impunity. Honor, religion, politics, nobility, integrity, greed—we’ve an endless list of ideals to be dissected and explored. And maybe learned from.” – Melissa McPhail.

F Trope: good versus evil
Current Event: http://www.wired.com/2014/06/googles-new-satellites-have-amazing-potential-and-potential-for-abuse/

Nivi Critchlow said, “How,” her voice screeched a bit, so she cleared her throat and started again, “How are we supposed to do magic when something like this is watching all the time?”

Krish Zeeb shook his head, saying, “You worry too much. Satellites have been watching us forever...”

“Yeah, government ones. This is a commercial satellite. ‘Profit knows no boundaries’. Governments have to follow laws, businesses only have to appear to. With this thing, who knows...”

Krish shook his head and dropped his tablet computer on his lap. With complex gestures he started his computer, connecting to the mundane internet instead of the broader connections of enchantnet. Hunching, he shook his head after several minutes. “Lots of mundane chatter about the good an evil of GOOGLE being able to have a peek at whomever they please.” With a different motion, he cleared the screen and shut it down. A moment later, skirls of light began to spin around the tablet. When the screen lit, it was liquid silver, rocking slowly back and forth. He swiped a finger through it, speaking a spell for his favored search engine. He spoke then typed. After a time, he looked up, “Lots of magic chatter about it as well.”

“What are we going to do?”

“What do you mean by ‘we’ and ‘do’?” he said, leaning back and squinting at her.

“We can’t just let GOOGLE take over!”

“Yes, we can.”

Nivi looked at him, scowling then finally said, “Aren’t we supposed favor good over evil?”

“‘Favor’ good, yes; fight evil, absolutely not!”

Nivi stood up and said, “I guess I’ll have to find a new best friend then.”

Names: ♀ Greenland, Guyana ; ♂ Guyana, Greenland
Image: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/98/71/e5/9871e52bbc09c525af21b8f6471eab15.jpg

CREATING ALIEN ALIENS Part 37: Communicating With Aquatic Aliens? Impossible or Not?

Five decades ago, I started my college career with the intent of becoming a marine biologist. I found out I had to get a BS in biology before I could even begin work on MARINE biology; especially because there WEREN'T any marine biology programs in Minnesota.
Along the way, the science fiction stories I'd been writing since I was 13 began to grow more believable. With my BS in biology and a fascination with genetics, I started to use more science in my fiction.
After reading hard SF for the past 50 years, and writing hard SF successfully for the past 20, I've started to dig deeper into what it takes to create realistic alien life forms. In the following series, I'll be sharing some of what I've learned. I've had some of those stories published, some not...I teach a class to GT young people every summer called ALIEN WORLDS. I've learned a lot preparing for that class for the past 25 years...so...I have the opportunity to share with you what I've learned thus far. Take what you can use, leave the rest. Let me know what YOU'VE learned. Without further ado...

Obviously, I know Humans have been “speaking to dolphins” for centuries. Dolphins OBVIOUSLY know us and LOVE us!
David Brin even started his iconic novel, STARTIDE RISING like this: “Fins had been making wisecracks about Humans for thousands of years. They had always found men funny. The fact that Humanity had recently meddled with their genes and taught them engineering didn’t change that attitude.”

The assumption with this opening – as much as I adore the novel and the following five – is that Dolphins will think so much like us that they’ll find us amusing and will forgive ten-thousand years of slaughter and torture.

The website for DOLPHINS-Plus puts it this way, “It seems humans have always been fascinated with dolphins, and, arguably, vice versa. Ancient drawings and frescos featuring dolphins have been uncovered in the Bronze Age ruins of Knossos, Greece. Amazing tales of dolphin and human interaction have been passed down among island communities for countless generations. It’s also believed that some ancient civilizations saw dolphins as a spiritual connector linking the Gods and humans. There’s also no shortage of modern stories that support a meaningful and genuine affection between our two species.”
Really? Wikipedia: “Historically, marine mammals were hunted by coastal aboriginal humans for food and other resources. The effects of this were only localised as hunting efforts were on a relatively small scale. Later, commercial hunting was developed and marine mammals were heavily exploited. This led to the extinction of the Steller's Sea Cow and the Caribbean monk seal…[populations of] blue whales; the North Pacific right whale, are much lower…Despite the fact commercial whaling is generally a thing of the past…a number of marine mammals are still subject to direct hunting. The only remaining commercial hunting of whales is by Norway…the illegal trade of whale and dolphin meat is a significant market in some countries…”

The author actually justifies what we have done to cetaceans by having the dolphins explain to one of the characters that it’s OK Humans hunted them. It was how they understood the world – there were the Hunters and the Hunted. No big deal. Humans were just the Hunters and cetaceans the Hunted. And genetically altering dolphins to be engineers, have brains adapted to space, and their bodies adapted to have “tingers” in order to manipulate Human-style machines.

So…have we ever given serious thought to COMMUNICATING with beings evolved to live underwater? Have we ever considered constructing a radically different technology that does NOT depend on electricity or fire or even living surrounded by breathable air?

While I can’t say “nope” definitively, I can’t readily bring to mind an SF story or novel or series where aquatic aliens reached a point of creating a technologically advanced civilization that reached for and gained “the stars”.

As a matter of fact, WE haven’t even achieved “the stars” yet. We’re just planning on going back to our nearest celestial body after a fifty year hiatus – all the while stomping like Godzilla across the surface and in the oceans as if we’re Masters of the Universe! If you wonder how MUCH we haven’t done, read the first entry in my Alien Aliens series from six years ago: https://faithandsciencefiction.blogspot.com/2018/03/slice-of-pie-exploring-solar-system.html

So, how about I start with something easy? Stories, tales, and legends: “Amazing tales of dolphin and human interaction have been passed down among island communities for countless generations. It’s also believed that some ancient civilizations saw dolphins as a spiritual connector linking the Gods and humans. There’s also no shortage of modern stories that support a meaningful and genuine affection between our two species.”

Hasn’t anyone EVER noticed that all of this wonderfulness is STRICTLY from the Human point of view?

So, let me start with a “tale” from a Delphinic POV:

*supersonic sounds and flesh-penetrating ultrasound*

There you go, the FIRST Delphinic Legend! But there’s no Human from the past who would have any way of hearing OR understanding it. It’s in the wrong frequency for Human hearing!!!

DANG! JUDGEMENT ALERT! “in the wrong frequency” is a judgement implying that if Humans can’t hear it, it’s WRONG. What if in Delphinic, OUR frequency is the wrong one?

Do Tursiops truncatus (whose “Conservation status is ‘least concern’…(a somewhat arrogant judgement, don't you think?) speak the same language as Tursiops aduncus or Tursiops erebennus. Does ANY Homo sapiens sapiens speak the same language as Homo neanderthalis?

So, have Humans ever made an attempt to translate Delphinic language? As a matter of fact, yes we have: https://spinnaker-watches.com/blogs/deep-time-chronicles/the-language-of-dolphins-decoding-clicks-whistles-and-squeals “While researchers have made significant strides in understanding dolphin communication, much of their language remains a mystery. Ongoing studies aim to decipher the intricate code of clicks, whistles, and squeals, hoping to unveil the depth of dolphin intelligence and emotion.”
But is it MORE than that? https://spinnaker-watches.com/blogs/deep-time-chronicles/the-language-of-dolphins-decoding-clicks-whistles-and-squeals
“As we plunge into the depths of dolphin communication, we find ourselves in awe of the intricate language that binds these marine marvels. Clicks, whistles, and squeals form the basis of a communication system that goes beyond survival—it reflects the complex social fabric of dolphin society. As scientists continue their efforts to decode the language of dolphins, we remain ever more enchanted by the symphony that resonates beneath the waves, reminding us of the incredible diversity and intelligence that thrives in the ocean's depths.”

What IF, dolphins have been trying to figure out whether or not Humans are intelligent and have a language? They could no sooner eavesdrop on us as we can actually eavesdrop on THEM.

More distressing to Humanity thought, would be the question: "What if most dolphins don’t really care?"
Of COURSE the response of most Humans would be, “How could they NOT CARE about communicating with us! We’re the main intelligence on Planet Earth!!!”

Are we, though? Not. Not really. We occupy far less than one-fourth of the surface of this dirtball. In fact, MOST of the planet is NOT a dirtball, rather it’s more like a gigantic raindrop of salty water. “But they don’t have TVs, computers, cellphones, cars, restaurants, fashion shows, the 2024 Olympics! They don’t even have a CALENDAR to know it’s the 2024 Olympics with!” 
Apparently, they have, um...names for us: https://dashmacintyre.medium.com/biologists-have-translated-the-dolphin-language-and-they-say-its-filled-with-slur-words-for-9eb3c4ddb6a4

I think I have a lot more to think about on the subject. Surely, I have several dozen more posts needed to exploring NOT Alien Aliens, rather exploring Alien Dolphins…
Sources: (see above)Image: https://aquaworld.com.mx/uploads/0000/1/2023/08/21/1-1323.jpg

CREATING ALIEN ALIENS Part 37: How Can We POSSIBLY Believe We Can Communicate With Aquatic Aliens?

Five decades ago, I started my college career with the intent of becoming a marine biologist. I found out I had to get a BS in biology before I could even begin work on MARINE biology; especially because there WEREN'T any marine biology programs in Minnesota.
Along the way, the science fiction stories I'd been writing since I was 13 began to grow more believable. With my BS in biology and a fascination with genetics, I started to use more science in my fiction.
After reading hard SF for the past 50 years, and writing hard SF successfully for the past 20, I've started to dig deeper into what it takes to create realistic alien life forms. In the following series, I'll be sharing some of what I've learned. I've had some of those stories published, some not...I teach a class to GT young people every summer called ALIEN WORLDS. I've learned a lot preparing for that class for the past 25 years...so...I have the opportunity to share with you what I've learned thus far. Take what you can use, leave the rest. Let me know what YOU'VE learned. Without further ado...

Obviously, I know Humans have been “speaking to dolphins” for centuries. Dolphins OBVIOUSLY know us and LOVE us!
David Brin even started his iconic novel, STARTIDE RISING like this: “Fins had been making wisecracks about Humans for thousands of years. They had always found men funny. The fact that Humanity had recently meddled with their genes and taught them engineering didn’t change that attitude.”

The assumption with this opening – as much as I adore the novel and the following five – is that Dolphins will think so much like us that they’ll find us amusing and will forgive ten-thousand years of slaughter and torture.

The website for DOLPHINS-Plus puts it this way, “It seems humans have always been fascinated with dolphins, and, arguably, vice versa. Ancient drawings and frescos featuring dolphins have been uncovered in the Bronze Age ruins of Knossos, Greece. Amazing tales of dolphin and human interaction have been passed down among island communities for countless generations. It’s also believed that some ancient civilizations saw dolphins as a spiritual connector linking the Gods and humans. There’s also no shortage of modern stories that support a meaningful and genuine affection between our two species.”
Really? Wikipedia: “Historically, marine mammals were hunted by coastal aboriginal humans for food and other resources. The effects of this were only localised as hunting efforts were on a relatively small scale. Later, commercial hunting was developed and marine mammals were heavily exploited. This led to the extinction of the Steller's Sea Cow and the Caribbean monk seal…[populations of] blue whales; the North Pacific right whale, are much lower…Despite the fact commercial whaling is generally a thing of the past…a number of marine mammals are still subject to direct hunting. The only remaining commercial hunting of whales is by Norway…the illegal trade of whale and dolphin meat is a significant market in some countries…”

The author actually justifies what we have done to cetaceans by having the dolphins explain to one of the characters that it’s OK Humans hunted them. It was how they understood the world – there were the Hunters and the Hunted. No big deal. Humans were just the Hunters and cetaceans the Hunted. And genetically altering dolphins to be engineers, have brains adapted to space, and their bodies adapted to have “tingers” in order to manipulate Human-style machines.

So…have we ever given serious thought to COMMUNICATING with beings evolved to live underwater? Have we ever considered constructing a radically different technology that does NOT depend on electricity or fire or even living surrounded by breathable air?

While I can’t say “nope” definitively, I can’t readily bring to mind an SF story or novel or series where aquatic aliens reached a point of creating a technologically advanced civilization that reached for and gained “the stars”.

As a matter of fact, WE haven’t even achieved “the stars” yet. We’re just planning on going back to our nearest celestial body after a fifty year hiatus – all the while stomping like Godzilla across the surface and in the oceans as if we’re Masters of the Universe! If you wonder how MUCH we haven’t done, read the first entry in my Alien Aliens series from six years ago: https://faithandsciencefiction.blogspot.com/2018/03/slice-of-pie-exploring-solar-system.html

So, how about I start with something easy? Stories, tales, and legends: “Amazing tales of dolphin and human interaction have been passed down among island communities for countless generations. It’s also believed that some ancient civilizations saw dolphins as a spiritual connector linking the Gods and humans. There’s also no shortage of modern stories that support a meaningful and genuine affection between our two species.”

Hasn’t anyone EVER noticed that all of this wonderfulness is STRICTLY from the Human point of view?

So, let me start with a “tale” from a Delphinic POV:

*supersonic sounds and flesh-penetrating ultrasound*

There you go, the FIRST Delphinic Legend! But there’s no Human from the past who would have any way of hearing OR understanding it. It’s in the wrong frequency for Human hearing!!!

DANG! JUDGEMENT ALERT! “in the wrong frequency” is a judgement implying that if Humans can’t hear it, it’s WRONG. What if in Delphinic, OUR frequency is the wrong one?

Do Tursiops truncatus (whose “Conservation status is ‘least concern’…(a somewhat arrogant judgement, don't you think?) speak the same language as Tursiops aduncus or Tursiops erebennus. Does ANY Homo sapiens sapiens speak the same language as Homo neanderthalis?

So, have Humans ever made an attempt to translate Delphinic language? As a matter of fact, yes we have: https://spinnaker-watches.com/blogs/deep-time-chronicles/the-language-of-dolphins-decoding-clicks-whistles-and-squeals “While researchers have made significant strides in understanding dolphin communication, much of their language remains a mystery. Ongoing studies aim to decipher the intricate code of clicks, whistles, and squeals, hoping to unveil the depth of dolphin intelligence and emotion.”
But is it MORE than that? https://spinnaker-watches.com/blogs/deep-time-chronicles/the-language-of-dolphins-decoding-clicks-whistles-and-squeals
“As we plunge into the depths of dolphin communication, we find ourselves in awe of the intricate language that binds these marine marvels. Clicks, whistles, and squeals form the basis of a communication system that goes beyond survival—it reflects the complex social fabric of dolphin society. As scientists continue their efforts to decode the language of dolphins, we remain ever more enchanted by the symphony that resonates beneath the waves, reminding us of the incredible diversity and intelligence that thrives in the ocean's depths.”

What IF, dolphins have been trying to figure out whether or not Humans are intelligent and have a language? They could no sooner eavesdrop on us as we can actually eavesdrop on THEM.

More distressing to Humanity thought, would be the question: "What if most dolphins don’t really care?"
Of COURSE the response of most Humans would be, “How could they NOT CARE about communicating with us! We’re the main intelligence on Planet Earth!!!”

Are we, though? Not. Not really. We occupy far less than one-fourth of the surface of this dirtball. In fact, MOST of the planet is NOT a dirtball, rather it’s more like a gigantic raindrop of salty water. “But they don’t have TVs, computers, cellphones, cars, restaurants, fashion shows, the 2024 Olympics! They don’t even have a CALENDAR to know it’s the 2024 Olympics with!” 
Apparently, they have, um...names for us: https://dashmacintyre.medium.com/biologists-have-translated-the-dolphin-language-and-they-say-its-filled-with-slur-words-for-9eb3c4ddb6a4

I think I have a lot more to think about on the subject. Surely, I have several dozen more posts needed to exploring NOT Alien Aliens, rather exploring Alien Dolphins…
Sources: (see above)Image: https://aquaworld.com.mx/uploads/0000/1/2023/08/21/1-1323.jpg

IDEAS ON TUESDAYS 639

Each Tuesday, rather than a POSSIBLY IRRITATING ESSAY, I'd like to both challenge you and lend a helping hand. I generate more speculative and teen story ideas than I can ever use. My family rolls its collective eyes when I say, "Hang on a second! I just have to write down this idea..." Here, I'll include the initial inspiration (quote, website, podcast, etc.) and then a thought or two that came to mind. These will simply be seeds -- plant, nurture, fertilize, chemically treat, irradiate, test or stress them as you see fit. I only ask if you let me know if anything comes of them. Octavia Butler said, “SF doesn’t really mean anything at all, except that if you use science, you should use it correctly, and if you use your imagination to extend it beyond what we already know, you should do that intelligently.”

SF Trope: Evil de-evolution
Current Event: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Devolution_(biology) (Fascinating article in which an evolutionists tap-dances around the idea that the dissemination of correct information is NOT the responsibility of scientists but of...um...Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, but ultimately Nobody and CERTAINLY not them…(http://www.corsinet.com/braincandy/hlife.html))

Ugnė Mertens flipped her pigtail back again as she stared at the image on her laptop. Muttering, she stepped sideways to the microscope and moved the slide using the X-Y translational control knobs fine adjustment. The image of the chromosome she was studying moved fractionally.

Naranbaatar Todorov picked at his thin, first beard and said, “Staring at it isn’t going to make the genes magically appear, Ug.”

“That’s what you think,” she straightened up, she smiled and added, “Baaaaa,” drawing out the stereotypical sheep sound. “Watch.” She touched a pressure toggle on an odd, goose-necked device standing beside the microscope. The computer’s screen fuzzed suddenly, then the single chromosome lit up as if it was a candy cane.

Baa started, looked at the lamp and exclaimed, “What is that thing?”

“Something I invented and you didn’t,” Ug said, sitting on the lab stool, leaning forward.

Baa swallowed hard, pursed his lips then said, “Listen, I know you don’t much like me...”

Ug reached out and typed an entry into the text box then said, “If I had a choice between dissecting three-day-old roadkill and having lunch with you...” she paused, made a face, then said, “I’m not sure which one I’d pick.”

Baa glanced at the clock on the wall. He still had four hours left of his shift. He couldn’t skip it or Dr. Harber would find out and dock him points. But he wasn’t sure he could keep his feet still and not kick Ugnė in the butt. He took a deep breath and said, “Must be an infrared to ultraviolet, rotating frequency projector.”

She shot him a look then went back to making notes on her computer. Occasionally she tapped her smartphone as well, which lay next to the laptop. “Lucky guess.”

“So that means, ‘yes’. Then you must have bathed the chromosomes in a solution that would...” Naranbaatar hooked another stool with his foot to drag it closer. Shrieking as it vibrated along the floor tiles, he winced and said, “Sorry.”

Ugnė sniffed but didn’t reply. Finally she said, “I used a mix that the older the gene, the less fluorescing compound it would pick up.”

Baa frowned then asked, “What are the chromosomes from?”

“A narn.”

“You’re kidding!” he exclaimed. Reports had been circulating for years about animals whose genes had suddenly started evolving – a quantum evolution event – from static forms to much, much more intelligent forms.

“These are chromosomes from raccoons killed in southern Minnesota.”

“We have narns here?” Baa exclaimed, backing away from the microscope.

Ug turned to look at him. “The genes aren’t contagious, idiot! This isn’t a disease – it’s animal chromosomes. Dyed and fixed at that! What are you afraid of?”

“Nothing. Nothing!” He spun around and took long strides out of the lab. He didn’t care if he lost hours – all he could see in his mind’s eye was the raccoon he’d nearly run over when he was biking on rural trails near his family’s home in an outer ring suburb of what was slowly becoming the three, four-kilometer-tall towers of the Minneapolis-St. Paul Vertical Village.

He would never forget the look on its face as it held out a mangled aw to him and said, “Help...”

Names: ♀ Lithuanian, Belgian; ♂ Mongolian, Bulgarian
Image: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/e/e1/Falcon_9_Demo-2_Launching_6_%283%29.jpg/220px-Falcon_9_Demo-2_Launching_6_%283%29.jpg