C.J. West's Blog, page 7

A Mother’s Day Tribute To My Hero

On a warm day in 1996 I launched my third home run of the day in a coed softball league. It was one of those great moments that makes you feel like a million bucks. The opposing captain had waved his centerfielder back three times. He’d seen me hit before and he knew right where the ball was going, but the guy out there didn’t believe, even after the first two, that I could hit it that far.

When the third one went over his head, the captain jumped up and down as I rounded first. The game wasn’t a big deal. It was just for fun. There was no umpire. And the pitchers lobbed the ball in. But guys like to win and trotting around first feels mighty good.

I’m not going to tell you that I was a great baseball player, because I wasn’t. I never hit a fastball well. That day, standing on the field, I finally realized why I could hit the ball that far, and when I understood, the realization changed the way I looked at the world forever.

To get some perspective, let’s go way back to 1943.

My maternal grandmother died soon after giving birth to my mother and my grandfather had his hands full with five children, one of them an infant. With little money and no skills to care for the children, my grandfather sent my mother to foster care.

It was then she met my hero, Doris West. Grandma West had a gift for raising children and the stories of the amazing things she did with sick or troubled kids are too numerous to mention. One of my favorites is the story of her own son. He was born 1.7 pounds and given no chance to survive because incubators for preemies hadn’t been invented yet. She placed him in a shoe box, wrapped him in cotton and kept him warm on her oven door. He lived well into his eighties thanks to Grandma West being clever enough to keep him warm.

Her gift to all of us was patience, kindness, and caring. She taught life lessons that changed the way my brother, sister, and I view the world. We’ve passed those lessons on to our children and soon they will pass them on further.

If you think this is a big impact, you are right. But we were just the beginning. Grandma West cared for 56 babies as a foster mother. Changing the lives of 56 children and their children and now their grandchildren. Grandma West had a bigger impact on our world than anyone I’ve ever met.

When I began writing, I took her name to honor all she had done for me.

I left another tribute to her in the first book in my Randy Black Series, Sin And Vengeance. There is a hidden code that is a dedication to her memory. Search the book for her last name with an exclamation point after it “West!”. The message begins with the next letter. If you cross out the following ten letters and keep the eleventh and do this over and over, the text will reveal a message that is surprisingly long.

If you have read the second book in my Randy Black Series, you’ve met Grandma West. She’s pictured in Chapter 21 of A Demon Awaits as Di Stowers, a little old woman who cares for dozens of small children. Her house is lined with Mother’s Day cards because Di Stowers is a mother to many. If you unscramble the letters of her name, they form Doris West.

So what does Grandma West have to do with softball?

When I was one year old, Grandma discovered that I loved to hit a Wiffle Ball. She lobbed pitches to me for hours. She did this so much that even more than thirty years later, when a ball came in the way she tossed it to me, I couldn’t help but smash it. This wasn’t the biggest gift she gave me. Not by a long shot, but it was the one that helped me see what a blessing she had been to us all.

Grandma has been gone many years now, but her legacy will live forever.

Happy Mother’s Day to you and your hero!

I hope you can see the ripples she’s made in this world for a long time to come.

Are You Game?

I didn’t have a blog planned for today, but my daughter sent me an awesome code to break this week and I wanted to share it with you. If you are game, read this intro and try to solve the code below.

First a little background. I’ve got a great code to share with you tomorrow. One that many of you own without even knowing. It’s hidden inside my book Sin And Vengeance. Tomorrow I’m going to give you the solution.

When I worked on that code, I shared the fun of code breaking with my oldest daughter. We have worked on substitution ciphers and transposition ciphers and null ciphers.

Here is the code she gave me yesterday. It is one of the above types of ciphers. I have simplified it to make it easy to solve.

CHDNFNAY   HEOLYTDA   EWFEOT,!   COWAUOS-   KREHWREC   TLSIAEEJ

Once you have this code solved, you will have an idea what you need to solve this next portion. Assume you are me. What stuff might you have that would be useful? The answer to the first code is the clue to deciphering the second code.

Tips: My lucky number is 22

Let’s do this together. When you solve the first code, post your answer in a comment. Then figure out what you need to solve this second part. Ask for it in a comment. When someone asks for the right thing, I’ll give it to you in an update to the blog.

Here is the second half of the code:

22-16

1-3

5-13

3-1

5-13

9-5

26-4

1-1

4-3

13-2

14-6

1-9

2-11

24-29

1-2

7-13

3-2

8-10

2-14

14-6

22-16

26-1

3-2

29-6

9-7

5-8

1-9

9-4

10-8

10-2

10-2

18-2

20-3

24-6

Good Luck!

Do You Sing In Church?

I could be the worst singer in my small town, but when I’m in church I sing, albeit softly.

Looking around there are those who lead the songs. My mother was in the choir for over 20 years and you can hear her high notes above the entire congregation even though she is almost 70 years old. The pastor’s voice leads out the beginning of each verse to guide the flock and keep us in harmony.

Some move their lips. Others simply stand. Children fidget.

 

This week I was reminded of a few stories.

The first was the story of an auditorium full of people. The speaker asked “How many of you can dance?” Every single person in the room raised their hand enthusiastically. The speaker addressed a different crowd with the same question. Only a few people in the second group raised their hands.

It wasn’t that the first group was more talented. They were children. No one had told them they couldn’t dance. Thinking about this story I am reminded how often we want to do things but we don’t because we are worried about appearances. I’m guilty. I’ll sing in my car, or to my kids, but not in front of other people. I never dance unless it is a slow song. I might be saving myself a little embarrassment, but I’m also preventing myself from having fun.

That thought led me to sad one. When my grandmother sent my father to church, she told him not to sing out loud because he had a terrible voice. Could you imagine telling your child not to sing? What worse message could you send?

As years went by my dad outgrew her advice. If you are a regular here you know he sings Johnny Cash at all hours of the day and night. Fortunately he is starting to learn some new artists. Toby Keith is the latest.

Church singing also reminds me of my youngest daughter who is a lot like me. She was painfully shy when she was young. My grandfather used to say, “If it talks it’s Hallie.” That’s the way he told my girls apart. He waited for one of them to talk and then he knew my younger daughter was the silent one.

Over the years we encouraged her to participate in dance, gymnastics, anything. She was always on the sidelines until this year when she cheered for her high school football and basketball teams. I was so happy I could have exploded with joy. She traveled around in the flock of girls before competition, more nervous than I’d ever seen her, but when she stepped on the mat her smile lit up the room.

I was proud, but even more than that I was happy that she set herself free and took hold of a scary experience. The joy she felt during those games and competitions, being part of a team, giving her all, that can’t be replaced. She took a risk and in return she was blessed with memories that will last a lifetime. Since then she has tried out for other teams, really reaching for things she never would have done before. I am so proud.

 

Back to church. There is a reason we sing. The words remind us of an important message and singing them is a visceral celebration. Singing with passion releases so much emotion (whether you are in church or at a concert) and yet so few of us belt out the words. We save ourselves embarrassment but the price is high.

As you visit this blog remember something a friend said to me, “You wouldn’t worry what other people think of you, if you realized how rarely they do.” Don’t be afraid to join the conversation. Get off the sidelines and leave a comment or a personal message.

Today I’m inspired to learn to dance and sing and I hope you are to. Let’s shut off our inner critic and revel in the joy of setting ourselves free. If you stand next to me in church next week you might even hear me sing.

 

Today I’m Giving Thanks For My Pain

I had a very inspirational post planned for you today, but then something happened that knocked me off my feet. I can’t think about anything else, so I hope you enjoy the lesson I learned from my misery today. Literally.

Last week I blogged about the loss of my friend Terri Krause. The outpouring of support on her Facebook page and here on my blog reminded me that our pain over her passing is a direct reflection of how much she meant to us all. We hurt because Terri touched us. My lesson today begins there.

Romeo and Juliet

Last year I had the most amazing experience of my life (with the exception of the lives of my two daughters.) I fell madly in love with a woman who touched me in a way that no one has. In my heart, Romeo and Juliet is a high school infatuation compared to what I felt for her. Guys, compare riding a ten speed to piloting a fighter jet.

I can’t describe how much I loved her or how devastated I was when we parted. Words (even for me) pale to describe the agony that followed and as you’ll see in a minute, the feelings that still take hold of me sometimes when we are in touch.

Instead of trying to describe how I felt, I’ll share an experience I had a few weeks ago.

My mother asked me to trim around some bushes for her, a process that would take about 5 minutes with an electric trimmer. I didn’t want to get grass stains on my new sneakers, so I took them off and used the trimmer barefoot.

My father arrived minutes later with advice (no surprise).

“Get some boots on,” he said. “Your bare feet are a perfect ground and if you hit that wire you’ll kill yourself.”

“I’m okay with dying,” I said in a flat, serious voice.

My own comment stopped me cold. It wasn’t a smartass remark. It came from somewhere deep inside me. When I heard those words coming from my own lips I recognized an important truth about my life.

I’m a lucky guy. I’m incredibly thankful for my experiences in this world and if God wants to take me, I’m ready to go.

Please don’t think I’m going to jump off a bridge or something. It’s not that sort of feeling. It’s one of utter fulfillment and maybe the realization that I’ve seen what I came into this world to see.

The wonder of God’s creation smiled at me with hazel eyes and a head of curly black hair. The memory of that love will burn inside me forever. No matter what happens in my future, I have been blessed to experience the joys of this love and the love of my family. No material success can compare to those things.

If I am lucky enough to experience real love again I will be doubly blessed. I’ll never give up looking, but having this experience has changed me in a fundamental way.

In the last few months I’ve been able to embrace the truth without fear of what it says about me. Mistakes don’t change my value in this world because I am beginning to understand how small I am.

At times I have also felt what it means to love your enemies, because the outcome of any feud or battle isn’t significant.

A feeling of real peace has washed over me as my sadness ebbs.

Back to today…

Today I got some news that stabbed me hard. It was debilitating. It knocked me so flat I couldn’t write the upbeat blog I had planned. I went for a drive to the library to return some books and somewhere along the road an insight gave my day an entirely new meaning.

What if I am someone else’s Romeo?

What if things I say unknowingly hurt someone this deeply?

Today my pain taught me a new level of compassion. To be careful with my words around those I’ve loved in my past. To be sensitive of those raw nerves and to be understanding when touching a nerve causes them to lash out.

What has your pain taught you?

Planet Fitness Commercial

I don’t need a drawstring shirt yet, but I saw this commercial and had to laugh. I really hope my abs look like his someday soon.

MANday Week 2

This is my third week of exercise for the MANday challenge with Jillian Dodd. I’m not sure if I’m shaping up to be eye candy for the ladies yet, but I’m giving it all I’ve got. Jillian still has a LONG way to go to get her 5,000 comments on my MANday page, so I’m not too worried yet.

If you want to help Jillian, you can post a comment here. Take pity. It’s quick and easy.

This was a difficult week for me in a couple respects. I lost two readers and friends. Their passing drained the gusto from my workouts, and my writing for that matter. It also rained for four days straight here in New England (fitting) and I’m not enough of a fanatic to run in the pouring rain, so I waited it out.

Cheryl Delano is in black
3rd from the left

Me with Terri Krause

Personal Trainer CJ talked me into trying a longer run on Sunday before the rain started. Being way out here in the sticks, the easiest way to extend a run is to loop around another block. The only problem with that is it means adding about two miles.

By 4.5 miles into my run I was sagging. I’d never been that far before and while my heart rate was good and steady, I felt completely out of gas. Somehow I pushed myself along and made 6.1 miles with a halfhearted sprint at the end. After the rain ended, I ran a spirited 4.1 miles Thursday, ending with a really strong sprint.

Right now I’m feeling like running is a success. I need to keep it up to burn the fat covering my abs. Somehow I think those three pounds will be the last three pounds of fat on my entire body, but maybe that’s just Author CJ whining.

My ab work suffered a bit this week. For the mystery writers out there, consider adding ab workouts to your books. They are insidious and nasty. Scary for anyone!

My plank times took an odd twist. I went from 2:30 on Saturday back down to 2:01 the rest of the week. I’ve been struggling to make 2:01 every day and I think it has to do with how much ab work I’m doing and not so much a lack of progress. I’ll try a day of rest and see if my times pick up.

Last week I promised some new ab workouts. I have tried a few and I’m going to recommend two that I like. I’ll keep looking for exercises with a focus on things you can do at home without buying equipment.

Bicycle Ab Exercise

The Bicycle*

1. Start lying on your back, hands behind your head.

2. Touch your right elbow to your left knee.

3. Touch your left elbow to your right knee.

4. Repeat 20 times for beginners.

* Watch this on Youtube video.

Ab Wheel Begin

Ab Wheel Out

The Ab Wheel*

I try not to include anything you need to go out and buy, but I love this exercise. Wow does this work your core. A cheap Ab Wheel will run you about $15. I cheat and use two sets of hand weights that roll freely. It’s not ideal, but it works for me.

1. Start on your knees with the wheel on the floor.

2. Roll the wheel away from your body keeping your back straight.

3. Use your abs to stretch out away from your knees.

4. Pull yourself back with your abs.

* Watch this one on video.

After three weeks I’m feeling great. After watching these videos I realize I need to get a little more sleep and ramp up my veggie intake. I’ve been slacking on my diet lately. If I don’t break any new ground with exercise, maybe I’ll talk about my diet next Friday.

What ab exercises work for you?

Are you planking along with me?

What’s your plank time?

Take A Walk

This week I’m reading Permission Marketing by Seth Godin. (I’ve linked to Amazon, but it is highly likely this book is in your library.)

Godin describes Interruption Marketing, all the commercials and pop-up ads and spam posts and direct mail we receive on a daily basis. These things are cheap and they work to some extent so companies have gone to extremes to interrupt us. This book is dated, but Godin says we can see up to 10,000 marketing messages in a single trip to the supermarket.

 

Last night I was out in a bar and started looking around at all the ads clamoring for my attention. The sensory overload was stunning. Every bottle on the shelf had a label, which is a mini-advertisement. Eight televisions broadcast games and even when the action was taking place, ads could be seen on the walls of the stadium or rink. A marquis scrolled through upcoming events at the bar. Every square inch of wall space had a sign for beer or tequila or the state lottery.

Even this blog (because I have to try to make a living) has my books linked on the sidebar in the hope you’ll click over and buy one.

Why are we so bombarded and what can we do?

The truth is that we don’t make very many things for ourselves anymore. We buy what we need from companies who compete against each other to make a profit. All this marketing helps us make choices, but it also leaves us frazzled and overwhelmed.

 

 

For those of you who follow this blog regularly, you know I’m in the midst of an extreme workout regimen to get ready for MANday. Before I began training, I walked four miles every day. It’s a great way to get the blood moving and if you walk in a park or a hiking trail, it’s an environment free from the chaotic world of consumerism.

After beginning Godin’s book, I delighted in my time in the forest with nothing but birds and mice for company. The contrast to our frantically-paced, electronically-enhanced(?) lifestyle was stunning.

If you haven’t done so in a while, go out and take a walk today! Give your senses a chance to reconnect with the present moment in peace. You’ll be glad you did.

 

Another thing that has helped me is to remove sensory clutter from my personal space. A neat space with very little in it really gives me a feeling of peace because even unconsciously, my mind recognizes each item it sees and works hard to remember them and where they are. By removing the clutter, I can feel myself relax. Try it!

Before I go, I want to recommend two blogs that will give you positive thoughts to help you relax.
Zen habits is a great blog focused on helping you live peacefully in the present. Leo Babauta has 250,000 followers for a reason! 

A flourishing Life by Dr. Gail Brenner suggests that we Awaken to the Power of Slow. Whenever I read these two blogs I come away feeling relaxed. I highly recommend them both.

Got a great idea to escape the craziness of everyday?

I Don’t Want Your Free Book

I got started holding contests and giveaways when I first started writing. It’s a fun way to get people excited and I like doing things that are a bit off the beaten path. If you don’t believe me, check out MANday, my murder mystery and event videos, or my Kindle Fire contest.

Earlier this year I signed up for the KDP Select program at Amazon and starting giving away e-books. I was stunned when my first title was downloaded 65,000 times in two weeks. About 63,000 of those were free books.

I was so excited that I enrolled all my books and started giving them away with abandon. In two months I gave away about 120,000 e-books. It takes time for readers to get around to all those free books and some people have so many they can’t possibly read them all. But the hope is the freebies will get more people hooked on my work.

Yes, I’m marketing like a crack dealer, but books are good for you.

My message today begins with a free book but that isn’t what it’s really about.

Last week I offered a free book to someone and she said, “I love your work, but I don’t want a free book. I want to pay for it.” She actually waited for the book to go back on sale so she could buy it.

I’ve heard this before. Many people have purchased books out of my trunk at a steep discount. Several have told me they want to pay more and have even tried giving me an extra five bucks thinking I wouldn’t notice.

These people want me to make a living. They want me to succeed so I’ll keep writing. They know I need to earn something and they are willing to give more than necessary. I’m really touched by this today.

Writers create books and blogs and posts online but we never truly know how much we touch people. Lots of people lurk. They read and enjoy what we have to say, but we don’t often hear from them.

Today is my birthday and my Facebook page is flooded with messages. I’m really grateful for the outpouring of support. And just for fun I want to share some great images friends sent me today.

This one made me smile!

 

What a perfect cake for me!

 

How thoughtful!
This is actually on my diet!

 

Working alone (and being single), my online friends are a huge part of my community and I want to thank you all for making me part of your life’s journey. On days like today I realize how blessed I am.

I’ve planned a birthday party on May 23 to coincide with the release of a short story. Several author friends are lining up to give away e-books. I hope you’ll join me for a fun celebration.

A very special thanks today to all of you who join in, reach out, and become part of my world.

MANday Week 1

If you missed last week’s post and don’t know what MANday is, you can see a MANday post on my friend Jillian’s blog. Basically she’s posting eye candy for the ladies to make Monday more fun. Great idea!

So, last week Jillian and I made a bet. If she can get 5,000 people to post on my MANday challenge by June 30, I’ll pose (shirtless) for her blog. She’s off to a good start, but she needs as much help as she can get. If you comment on the MANday challenge page, you could win $500. Well worth the 20 seconds it’ll take you to click over and back.

I’ll wait…

This is my second week of exercise for MANday. On my way around the block this week I was thinking the key part of my exercise routine is that moment when I feel like I can’t go on. My heart is really pumping, or my legs are starting to hurt, or the wind is blowing in my face. I seem to live on the only block in the world where the wind blows against you on three of the four sides. At least it’s not all uphill.

Anyway, when I don’t think I can go on anymore, that’s the moment when it is really important to push. That’s when I’m building my endurance and breaking through to another level.

Being an author has serious advantages then. It’s one of those times the voices in my head are really useful. The exchange between author CJ and personal trainer CJ goes something like this:

ACJ: “My legs are getting rubbery.”

PTCJ: “Don’t be a sissy. You walk around this block every day.”

ACJ: “Yeah, walk.”

PTCJ: “You’re not running that fast. Some lady’s going to pass you power walking.”

Another two telephone poles go by.

ACJ: “The wind is in my face again.” It’s more a thought bubble than a whine.

PTCJ: “Do you know how many hits Jillian gets? You don’t want to look like that fantasy author* posing with the romance covers. Do you?”

My pace picks up and pretty soon the crisis is past and I’m climbing the big hill that’s my last real obstacle in the four mile course. This week I ran the 4.1 miles twice. (It rained two days.) My legs are feeling strong and not terribly sore, so I’m thinking in a few weeks I’ll start extending my range or picking up the pace. Not sure which yet.

The voices help when I’m doing planks, too, but the most helpful thing is watching the clock and never letting myself down until I tie my previous record.

Each day I post my time on #PlankADay on Twitter. It’s a great supportive community with a lot of people who hold a plank much longer than I do. I’m encouraged, but I’ve got a long way to go. I time my first plank of the day, which is always my best.

My times for the first two weeks looked something like this.

:30

:35

:40

:45

1:01

1:05

1:10

1:30

1:35

1:40

1:45

2:01

2:01 (I almost died)

I feel like I’m on my way with planks and running. For next week I’m going to check out some new ab exercises. I’ll share my new finds then. If you’ve got a great exercise you enjoy, tell me about it.  I’ll try anything once.

* Thanks to Facebook friend Bri Clark for the link!

The Plank

How to do a plank correctly