Claire Stevens's Blog, page 27

Girl Up by Laura Bates

They told you you need to be thin and beautiful.

They told you to wear longer skirts, avoid going out late at night and move in groups - never accept drinks from a stranger, and wear shoes you can run in more easily than heels.

They told you to wear just enough make-up to look presentable but not enough to be a slut; to dress to flatter your apple, pear, hourglass figure, but not to be too tarty.

They warned you that if you try to be strong, or take control, you'll be shrill, bossy, a ballbreaker. Of course it's fine for the boys, but you should know your place.

They told you 'that's not for girls' - 'take it as a compliment' - 'don't rock the boat' - 'that'll go straight to your hips'.

They told you 'beauty is on the inside', but you knew they didn't really mean it.

Well, fuck that. I'm here to tell you something different.

This is the book fourteen-year-old-me really needed. Younger Me never really understood why things were different if you were a boy, why society told me that I had to dress sexy but in the same breath told me to cover up in case I got raped, why when boys argued back they were ‘making a point’ but when me and my friends did we were ‘being shrill’, why boys were assumed to have had lots of sexual partners but not girls. Who were these guys all doing it with? All the same few girls? Those girls must have been sore.

2017’s teenage girls have it worse than my friends and I did in some respects. The slut-shaming and victim-blaming isn’t confined to the school canteen or the local ice rink any more; we now have the whole of the internet as a platform for making girls feel bad about themselves.

Luckily for this year’s teens, though, they also have Laura Bates on their side, pushing a pin in society’s skewed expectations and showing them ways to challenge accepted norms and jolly well fight back.

Girl Up is completely unapologetic. Either you’re a feminist or an arsehole. She’s right, too. If you think that women shouldn’t get the same pay as men, you’re an arsehole. If you think that rape is ever the victim’s fault, you’re an arsehole. If you think that anyone else should have a say over what happens to a girl’s body other than the girl herself, you’re an arsehole.

This book isn’t just for teen girls, although that’s obviously who it is geared towards and who will get the most out of it. It’s equally as useful for parents who want to broach talks about sex and attitudes but who don’t know where to start, or just if parents want to know the pressures that their daughters are under.

Girl Up isn’t always an easy read - it challenges everything we’ve ever been told about ourselves, so why would it be? It’s super sweary (fine by me) and deals with topics that as a society we tend to giggle about, like sex, masturbation and what to call our genitals. It is also full of compassion and humour (dancing vaginas, anyone?) and zero patronisation.

This is an absolute gem of a book.

Read it. Read it now.

5 stars

2016 End of Year Survey

This has been a totally crazy year for reading.  I started full time work back in June and, surprise surprise, I now no longer have as much time for reading and blogging.  This sucks, but I've got to say having extra book-buying money does not.

Despite this, I managed to read a creditable 111 books this year.  Some were amazeballs, a couple were bad, but I don't regret a single one.  Like Neil gaiman said, 'I lived in books more than I lived anywhere else'.

This end of year survey is hosted by Jamie over at The Perpetual Page Turner.  Thanks Jamie!  I've taken out the bit in the middle about my blogging life as I've not been as active in the blogging community as I've wanted to be (see above re. lack of time) but hopefully people might find some inspiration from my list.

Happy new year everyone!  Here's to a bookish 2017.

Number Of Books You Read: 111

Number of Re-Reads: 1

Genre You Read The Most From: Contemporary YA

Best In Books

1. Best Book You Read In 2016?
ACOMAF.  I know this is probably going to be on a lot of bloggers’ lists, but it absolutely blew me away!  Just ... I can’t even.  I never thought I’d love a book as much as I loved this one.  Perfect on every level and has entered my Top Five Books of All Time list.

 2. Book You Were Excited About & Thought You Were Going To Love More But Didn’t?
 Passenger by Alexandra Bracken.  I was so excited (time travel!) but I just couldn’t get into it.  Overwritten and navel-gazey.
 
 3. Most surprising (in a good way or bad way) book you read?  
Anatomy of a Misfit by Andrea Portas.  I was genuinely surprised at how much this book affected me.  A protagonist who I didn’t really like to begin with and who truly grows over the course of the book and a kinda-love story that haunted me for a long while afterwards.
 
 4. Book You “Pushed” The Most People To Read (And They Did)?
 ACOMAF!  I bought it for my sister for Christmas along with ACOTAR, even though they’re not really her usual genre.  I also bought the two books for my Secret Santa at work and it was only when we were all opening the gifts that I realised that a book with that much sex in might be considered inappropriate!
 
5. Best series you started in 2016? Best Sequel of 2016? Best Series Ender of 2016?
The best series starter of 2016 was An Ember in the Ashes.  The second book has come out, but I’m waiting until the series has finished before I binge them all in one go.
Best sequel - ACOMAF.  I know.  I’m trying not to put it as my answer to every question.
 I don’t *think* I ended any series this year.  Maybe next year.
 
6. Favourite new author you discovered in 2015?
 Robin Reul.  Her debut, My Kind Of Crazy, was hilarious and touching in equal measure and I’ll definitely be looking out for more books by her in the future.
 
7. Best book from a genre you don’t typically read/was out of your comfort zone?
 I don’t usually read NA, but the best NA book I read this year was Understanding Nora by Ruby Malloy.  It’s a sweet love story and as mucky as anything!
 
8. Most action-packed/thrilling/unputdownable book of the year?
 The Thousandth Floor by Katharine McGee.  It was like a soap opera set in the future.  I literally couldn’t put it down and I was so surprised at how much I enjoyed it!
 
9. Book You Read In 2016 That You Are Most Likely To Re-Read Next Year?
 I might give The Thousandth Floor another go, especially as the sequel is due out in August.
 
10. Favorite cover of a book you read in 2016?
 The Monstrous Child.  I got it as a library book and the stars and lettering are picked out in bronze foil.  The book itself was only okay, but the cover and illustrations inside are just heavenly.
 
11. Most memorable character of 2016?
 Hazel from the Saga series.  Awesome series, awesome kid.
 
12. Most beautifully written book read in 2016?
 The Sleeper and the Spindle by Neil Gaiman.  I didn’t love the book per se, although I did enjoy it, but the writing was gorgeous.
 
13. Most Thought-Provoking/ Life-Changing Book of 2016?
 The Monogram Murders by Sophie Hannah.  She was an author I’d always meant to try out, but this book was so unbelievably bad that I’ve taken a lifelong vow never to touch anything of hers ever again.
 
14. Book you can’t believe you waited UNTIL 2016 to finally read? 
 Junk by Melvin Burgess.  First published in 1996, but Melvin only came on my radar as an author this year.  This book was like a YA Trainspotting.  Utterly terrifying.
 
15. Favorite Passage/Quote From A Book You Read In 2016?
“To the people who look at the stars and wish, Rhys."
Rhys clinked his glass against mine. “To the stars who listen— and the dreams that are answered.”
― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Mist and Fury
 
16.Shortest & Longest Book You Read In 2016?
Shortest - The Egg by Andy Weir (of The Martian fame).  Four pages!
Longest - Winter by Marissa Meyer.  832 pages!  Miles too long.  The same story could have been told in about 400 pages and would have been just as good. 
 
17. Book That Shocked You The Most
The Problem with Forever by Jennifer Armentrout.  It was shocking.  Ly bad.
 
18. OTP Of The Year (I will go down with this ship!)
Marko and Alana from the Saga graphic novels.  They make being parents look sexy. 
 
19. Favourite Non-Romantic Relationship Of The Year
 Dara and Nick - the two sisters in Vanishing Girls by Lauren Oliver.  I can’t really say why without giving the game away about the book, but if you’ve read it you’ll know.
 
20. Favourite Book You Read in 2016 From An Author You’ve Read Previously
 The Boy Most Likely To by Huntley Fitzpatrick.  I loved the other two books in her series, so I was super excited to read this one.  It didn’t disappoint!
 
21. Best Book You Read In 2016 That You Read Based SOLELY On A Recommendation From Somebody Else/Peer Pressure:
 Simon and the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertelli.  Pure peer pressure and it turns out that everyone was right - this is a great book.
 
22. Newest fictional crush from a book you read in 2016?
 Rhys from ACOMAF.  Just because.
 
23. Best 2016 debut you read?
 My Kind of Crazy by Robin Reul.
 
24. Best Worldbuilding/Most Vivid Setting You Read This Year?
 The Thousandth Floor.  I know a ten-mile high (or whatever it was) building isn’t actually possible, but dammit, this book made it feel like it was.
 
25. Book That Put A Smile On Your Face/Was The Most FUN To Read?
 Going to Sea ina Sieve by Danny Baker.  He is one funny gent.
 
26. Book That Made You Cry Or Nearly Cry in 2016?
 Anatomy of a Misfit by Andrea Portes.  I don’t often cry at books, but I did with this one!
 
27. Hidden Gem Of The Year?
The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet by Becky Chambers.  Does this qualify as a hidden gem?  It was definitely off my usual radar and it was really good!
 
28. Book That Crushed Your Soul?
Again, Anatomy of a Misfit.  I don’t cry often when reading, but I was a mess after this one. 
 
29. Most Unique Book You Read In 2016?
Gotta be the Saga series of graphic novels.  They totally win an award for Most Use of Crazy Imagination in the Universe Ever!
 
30. Book That Made You The Most Mad (doesn’t necessarily mean you didn’t like it)?
Girl Up by Laura Bates.  It makes me angry on a near-constant basis how much the media objectifies women, and Laura put her arguments across more succinctly than I ever could.
 
Looking Ahead

1. One Book You Didn’t Get To In 2016 But Will Be Your Number 1 Priority in 2017?
 My Lady Jane by Cynthia Hand.  Kept meaning to read it.  Still haven’t. 
 
2. Book You Are Most Anticipating For 2017 (non-debut)?
A Court of Wings and Fury.  Oh yeah! 
 
3. 2017 Debut You Are Most Anticipating?
The Hundred Lies of Lizzie Lovett by Chelsea Sedoti.  Let’s hope the story is as lush as the cover!               
 
4. Series Ending/A Sequel You Are Most Anticipating in 2016?
 A Court of Wings and Ruin!  Also the sequel to The Thousandth Floor.
 
5. One Thing You Hope To Accomplish Or Do In Your Reading/Blogging Life In 2017?
I really want to go to YALC this year, having spectacularly failed to get my bum in gear for the last two years.
 
6. A 2017 Release You’ve Already Read & Recommend To Everyone:
I’ve only read one 2017 release - The One Memory of Flora Banks by Emily Barr.  It was pretty good though!

Read Me Like A Book by Liz Kessler

Ashleigh Walker is in love. You know the feeling - that intense, heart-racing, all-consuming emotion that can only come with first love. It's enough to stop her worrying about bad grades at college. Enough to distract her from her parents' marriage troubles. There's just one thing bothering her . . .

Shouldn't it be her boyfriend, Dylan, who makes her feel this way - not Miss Murray, her English teacher?
 
This was kind of a nice book about one girl’s experience of firstly realising she likes girls and then coming out.
 
The characterisation was okay - I really liked Ashleigh and felt invested in her story.  I also liked her relationship with her mum and thought it was very realistic as well as very positive.  I could see fairly early on what was going to happen with old Dylan - as soon as he shoved his hand up Ashleigh’s top on their first date it was pretty obvious he was going to be cast aside in short order.
 
The plot itself revolves firstly around Ashleigh developing a massive crush on her English teacher (which is actually done pretty slowly and realistically) then realising she’s gay and coming to terms with this as well as getting over her crush on Miss Murray (which I think happened a bit quickly).  It’s pretty sparse in terms of Stuff Actually Happening, but itstill managed to keep me reading.
 
I think the thing I liked most about it was Ashleigh’s journey of self-realisation and the way she comes out to her family.  It was really positive and although she faced some negative reactions, she stayed true to who she was.
 
The only criticism I’d have is that I’d like to have seen her relationship with Miss Murray developed further.  Ashleigh develops an infatuation with Miss Murray (and at parts it’s kind of a creepy infatuation) but to add tension I would have liked to see things going further between them rather than the flirtation they have.  I get that Miss Murray was pivotal in making Ashleigh realise she liked girls, but I think more could have actually happened.
 
All in all, this was a pretty sweet book and although the plot was a bit thin on the ground it was still a decent read.
 
4 stars

Waiting On Wednesday - Under Rose-Tainted Skies by Louise Gornall

Waiting On Wednesday is a weekly meme hosted by Jill over at Breaking the Spine and it’s a chance for us all to highlight the upcoming releases we’re eagerly anticipating.  This week, my Waiting on Wednesday pick is Under Rose-Tainted Skies by Louise Gornall.  Here's the blurb:

Norah has agoraphobia and OCD. When groceries are left on the porch, she can’t step out to get them. Struggling to snag the bags with a stick, she meets Luke. He’s sweet and funny, and he just caught her fishing for groceries. Because of course he did.

Norah can’t leave the house, but can she let someone in? As their friendship grows deeper, Norah realizes Luke deserves a normal girl. One who can lie on the front lawn and look up at the stars. One who isn’t so screwed up.

Sounds pretty good.  What's your Waiting On Wednesday pick this week?
 

Every Ugly Word by Aimee L Salter

When seventeen-year-old Ashley Watson walks through the halls of her high school bullies taunt and shove her. She can’t go a day without fighting with her mother. And no matter how hard she tries, she can’t make her best friend, Matt, fall in love with her. But Ashley also has something no one else does: a literal glimpse into the future. When Ashley looks into the mirror, she can see her twenty-three-year-old self.

Her older self has been through it all already—she endured the bullying, survived the heartbreak, and heard every ugly word her classmates threw at her. But her older self is also keeping a dark secret: Something terrible is about to happen to Ashley. Something that will change her life forever. Something even her older self is powerless to stop.
 
So this was a really unusual book.  In my experience, books tend to either be about issues (e.g. bullying) or about supernatural stuff (e.g. communicating with your future self), but rarely about the  two. 
 
In Every Ugly Word, the author has managed to pull together two stories - one about her protagonist Ashley undergoing some pretty horrific bullying by literally everyone at her school (and for the most bizarre, non-reason, which I’ll come to later) and at the same time being able to converse with future (five years in the future) self and actually it works really well.  I read this book in about a day and a half and found myself thinking about it when I wasn’t reading it.
 
One of the things I liked most was the mystery aspect.  Ashley’s older self knows what Ashley is going through and knows what is coming up next, but she’s frustratingly opaque and sparing with actual, solid advice.  It was intensely annoying at times, but managed to hold my interest.
 
Ashley herself was a really likeable character.  Despite being bullied every single day, she still manages to stick up for herself and have hopes and aspirations for the future.  The evil bullies never completely manage to crush her spirit.  Her friend Matt, on the other hand, could do one.  I got that he was going through stuff of his own, but he was really blinkered and naive about the torment Ashley was going through.
 
This book shows bullying in a very positive light.  Not positive as in bullying=good, obviously, but as in you can be bullied and not let them break you.  You can be bullied but still have hopes and dreams for the future and even though it seems impossible, this too shall pass.  It doesn’t, however, trivialise the effects of bullying.
 
The actual reason for the bullying (in eighth grade Ashley herself started a false rumour that she had slept with a friend of hers and this triggered off a spiral of slut-shaming) was a bit unbelievable, especially as she’d been popular prior to this incident, but I guess bullying can spring from anywhere, so who am I to judge?
 
All in all this was a really interesting, unique book.  Totally recommended.
 
4.5 stars

ABSOLUTE PANDEMONIUM BY BRIAN BLESSED

What do you mean, who's Brian Blessed?

Okay, remember the bit in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (and don't pretend for a second you've never seen it) where the Sheriff of Nottingham turns up in his mask at Lord Locksley's castle with all his cronies and Locksley comes out on his horse and the Sheriff is all like 'Join us, or die' and Locksley's all:

'GOD! AND KING RICHARD!!!'

That's Brian Blessed.

No?  Okay, maybe you remember him from Blackadder:

'CHISWICK!  FRESH HORSES!'

No?  Then maybe Flash Gordon:

'GORDON'S ALIVE!'

These aren't the only things Blessed has been in over his long acting career but the all-caps are about right - despite managing to net some truly diverse and interesting roles he has never quite managed to perfect an Indoor Voice.  Brian Blessed has tried to scale Everest three times now, but has never managed to reach the summit owing to his huge voice setting off avalanches along the way.*

Brian Blessed has a huge voice - in fact Doncaster, where he grew up, now boasts a school for the deaf.  Yes, really.  Yet contrary to his massive persona, in his private life Brian is a mild-mannered janitor.  He practises transcendental meditation and is super into rescuing abused animals.

This book takes us from is humble beginnings in a small mining town in the north of England, through his diverse acting career, through his training as a cosmonaut (yes, really), his work as a diplomat (yes, really!) and the aforementioned jaunts up Everest.

This book probably isn't for everyone (and if you read my other review, which are mostly YA,you may be wondering why I read it) butif you are a fan of Mr Blessed (like I am) then this book is just fab.  It's totally written like he speaks and is chocka with funny, own-trumpet-blowing anecdotes.

*This might not be the actual reason.

5 stars

The One Memory of Flora Banks by Emily Barr

Waiting On Wednesday is a weekly meme hosted by Jill over at Breaking the Spine and it’s a chance for us all to highlight the upcoming releases we’re eagerly anticipating.  This week, my Waiting on Wednesday pick is The One Memory of Flora Banks by Emily Barr.  Here's the blurb:

You always remember your first kiss.

Flora remembers nothing else...

"I look at my hands. One of them says 'Flora, be brave'. I am Flora."

Flora has anterograde amnesia. She can't remember anything day-to-day: the joke her friend made, the instructions her parents gave her, how old she is.

Then she kisses someone she shouldn't have kissed - and the next day she remembers it. The first time she's remembered anything since she was ten.

But the boy is gone.

Desperate to hold onto the memory, she sets off to the Arctic to find him.

Why can she remember Drake? Could he be the key to everything else she's forgotten?


I've read a few of Emily Barr's adult contemporaries and she's a pretty good writer, so I'm interested to see what she'll do with this.

Beautiful Broken Things by Sara Barnard

Best friends Caddy and Rosie are inseparable. Their differences have brought them closer, but as she turns sixteen Caddy begins to wish she could be a bit more like Rosie – confident, funny and interesting. Then Suzanne comes into their lives: beautiful, damaged, exciting and mysterious, and things get a whole lot more complicated. As Suzanne’s past is revealed and her present begins to unravel, Caddy begins to see how much fun a little trouble can be. But the course of both friendship and recovery is rougher than either girl realises, and Caddy is about to learn that downward spirals have a momentum of their own.
 
So I was really looking forward to Beautiful Broken Things but it ended up falling little bit flat.
 
The main problem I had was with the protagonist, Caddy.  I disliked her pretty much instantly and never really warmed to her or understood her actions.  She’s selfish and gets instantly jealous when it looks like Rosie might want to hang out with someone who isn’t Caddy.  She thinks her life is boring and compares herself to her sister (who is bipolar) and Rosie (whose sibling died when she was young), wishing that something ‘interesting’ like that would happen to her too.  Since when do mental illness or tragedy make you interesting?
 
When Caddy does eventually get over herself and start hanging out with Suzanne, her dislike does a total 180 and twists into complete obsession. It’s almost like she’s romantically in love with Suzanne, but the plot doesn’t develop this way.  Instead, her interest in Suzanne played out like an obsession and ended up making Caddy seem weak.
 
The plot itself is a bunch of silly teenagers doing stupid things, like climbing on the roofs of condemned buildings and leaving town overnight without telling anyone where they’re going.  I just ... no.
 
And the adults weren’t much better.  Sadly Suzanne is struggling to get over a fairly horrific past - she was smacked around by her dad for years while her mum and brother did nothing to stop it - but instead of giving her, I don’t know, maybe a bit of sympathy, the aunt she lives with acts like Suzanne is this massive, overreacting burden and Caddy’s parents act like she’s being a spoilt brat.  I really didn’t get their attitudes.
 
I love it when female friendships are portrayed in YA, especially when there’s no side-helping of romance, but this book didn’t really do it for me.  I think I was expecting it to be more high drama than it turned out to be. So in that respect I guess I’m guilty of being like Caddy!  UKYA is always going to find its way onto my TBR list, but I don’t think this is a great example of the genre.
 
2.5 stars

Chains by Laurie Halse Anderson

Sisters Ruth and Isabel are slaves who were promised freedom upon their owner’s death but who have their chance of freedom cruelly snatched away at the last moment.  Sold to a British-sympathising couple in New York, the two girls fight for their own freedom against the backdrop of the American War of Independence.
 
As part of my degree, I learned about the American War of Independence only as part of a larger module on British and European colonial history (so 1492 to 1975).  As a standalone subject it didn’t really feature either at university or at school.  So in this respect, Chains was interesting.  Before reading this, I’d never been able to figure out why Britain was so keen to keep America as a colony or why America was so desperate to break away.  After all, the two factions were thousands of miles apart in a time when communication was immensely difficult - couldn’t they have just, you know, kept out of each others’ way?  Chains talked about the reasons behind the rebellion and made me interested to read more.
 
Another interesting historical aspect was the description of New York in the eighteenth century - I actually found it fascinating to read about Broadway and Wall Street being little residential areas.
 
Isabel was a nice enough character.  I liked that although she was faced with pretty much the suckiest situation a human being could experience, she retained firstly her humanity and secondly her spirit.  She never gave up and never stopped caring and although she initially tries to keep her head down and not get involved with the rebels she comes to realise that their struggle has many parallels with her own and decides to help them out. 
 
As for the other characters, in true Hollywood style, all the Brits and British sympathisers in this book are baddies.  But that’s okay, we’re kind of used to being the bad guys now in the same way that a character with a German accent always ends up being a sociopath with weird sexual proclivities and French-accented characters are garrulous womanisers.  I also found it ironic (and by ironic, I mean hypocritical) that the American rebels were fighting desperately for their independence whilst keeping twenty per cent of their population in forced servitude.
 
The plot itself was a bit ho-hum for me.  Mostly it plodded along with brief bursts of action and it didn’t really keep my attention very well.  The spy thing could have been really thrilling, but it wasn’t.  Her friendship with Curzon could have been really well-developed, but it wasn’t.  The account of her life as a slave could have shown how horrific a slave’s life really was, but it didn’t.
 
So while this was quite a good book it wasn’t groundbreaking or thrilling enough for me.  A much better book is Samuel Northup’s Twelve Years a Slave, which has the added horror factor of being a true story.
 
And one last thing America: the Brits aren’t complete bad guys.  After all, we abolished slavery thirty-two (32) years before you did.
 
3 stars

The Problem With Forever by Jennifer L Armentrout

This book reminded me of a baked potato with cheese.  Only without the baked potato.
 
I think we have a contender for Worst Book Of The Year.
 
I can’t even be bothered to summarise the plot properly.  Blah blah blah.  Shy, white, heterosexual girl who thinks she’s not very attractive, except she really is.  Blah blah blah.  Tragic past.  Blah blah blah.  Meets hot, edgy dude from the wrong side of town.  Blah.  Romance and some kind of misunderstanding.  Blah.  HEA.  The end.  Thank Christ.
 
What the hell was that I just read?
 
So I’m going to start with the love interest, Rider.  I always think a love interest is the litmus test for the tone and style of a book and in this case I was right because god, was he boring.  I think he was supposed to be painted as bit edgy and dark (he’s a graffiti artist, abused and neglected as a kid in foster care and used to deal drugs). Ordinarily, this would be quite an interesting back story, but I just found him super dull.
 
And to cap it off, he has a girlfriend: the mean girl who hates the MC on sight.  Having a girlfriend doesn’t stop Rider pawing at Mallory every single chance he gets, though.  No siree.  His hands are everywhere, stroking her cheek and her hair, he’s kissing her forehead, sitting her between his legs.  The kind of behaviour that if it was someone non-hot doing it, you’d get a restraining order out.  Somehow he manages to string said girlfriend out for half the book, and neither girl calls him out on this shit.
 
And the MC, Mallory.  She’s really boring too!  So in that respect she and Rider are kind of MFEO.  She’s super shy and has trouble articulating her thoughts, which would be fine if her internal monologue was witty or interesting.  But no.  The thoughts in her head are as dull as the stilted guff coming out her mouth.  I just read a 480 page book and know no more about the MC than I did on page one.
 
I think the worst thing about Mallory, for me, was how weak and pathetic she was.  She’s spent her whole life relying on other people to save her: first Rider, when they were in foster care together and then her adoptive parents.  I couldn’t pinpoint a time in her life when she’d actually got up off her arse and saved or stuck up for herself.  Gotta say, this isn’t a great image to be giving to girls.  I want girls to read about MCs who are brave and resourceful despite their bad pasts, who are intelligent and kind despite the shitty conditions they live in.  Not about some little idiot who lets everyone else take her knocks for her.
 
There was a point where I thought Mallory was going to grow a backbone and a personality - she has a row with her parents and storms off (BTW, the reason for the row is that they’re concerned about Mallory spending so much time with Rider.  Because what kind of unreasonable fucking parent would be concerned about their daughter knocking about with a former drug dealer.  I mean, I ask you.).  Spoiler alert, though: she does *not* grow a personality.
 
I don’t think it’s ever been so obvious how important dialogue is in a book.  I guess when dialogue is fresh and unstilted you don’t really notice it, it’s just there, telling you stuff without you realising it.  The dialogue between Mallory and Rider was as interesting as listening to two old people talk about their dinner.  ‘Are these new peas, dear?’  ‘No, dear.  They’re the same peas we always get.’
 
The best thing I can think to say about this book is that it wasn’t offensive.  Except the bit where everyone is white and straight.  No, wait, I tell a lie, there were some Latinx characters.  Poor ones, who were drug dealers, and rich ones who had escaped their poor past.  Awesome.  Then one of them dies.  Literally five minutes after he announces to all his friends that he’s turning over a new leaf and not dealing drugs any more, he gets gunned down in the street.  And guess who he gets gunned down by?  Latinx drug dealers.
 
And is Puerto Rican a language in its own right?  I’m genuinely not sure, but the author seems to think so.  Oh well, I’m sure she’s right because the whole tone of the book sounds like she did loads of research within the Puerto Rican community.
 
It’s such a shame because this book could have been about the problems with an underfunded, overstretched care system, drugs, child abuse, social exclusion, gun culture, mental health.  Instead, it mentions all these things but doesn’t actually explore then other than in terms of how they affect Mallory and Rider’s relationship.  I’ll tell you who I felt sorry for - Ainsley.  Poor girl is an awesome best friend for 60% of the book then she suffers from MyBFFGotABoyfriend-itis and is booted out, only to be wheeled back in for a few minutes when she gets struck down with a blindness-inducing condition that handily serves to remind Mallory how we shouldn’t take anything for granted.
 
And then at 89% we get the following:
 
As I sat at the kitchen table with Rosa, I knew it was true.  I’d changed.
 
Sorry, but if an MC feels the need to point out to her audience that she’s changed, it usually means that she hasn’t, not really, and that not very much character development has taken place.
 
And that ending.  Fuck me.
 
I’m struggling to think who I’d recommend this book to.  Struggling and failing. 
 
Nope.  Can’t think of anyone I dislike that much.
 
1 star