S.L. Viehl's Blog, page 166

Query No-Nos

Ten Things That May Indicate You've Written a McQuery

Anxious McFlattery: You open your query with a partial gush of respect and appreciation for the editor, the amazing work they do and your unwavering belief that they are the only editor for whom you ever want to work. Bonus McPoints: You cut and paste this gusher into every query you send out.

Detailed McPlatform: You skimp on the description of the book in order to have enough room to present an overview of your plans to use Twitter, Facebook, Google + and at least two free apps to promote your novel upon publication. You also assure the editor that you are fully prepared to mortgage a house (that in reality you're only renting) in order to bankroll the book's success.

Dubious McHonors: No matter how small, you list every single industry award for which a book of yours has ever been nominated, this to bulk up your creds and convince the editor into believing you're determined, competitive, critically appreciated and poised on the brink of finally winning something important.

Flatout McLie: You mention to the editor how great it was to meet him/her at that huge, busy writer's conference that you never actually attended, and how grateful you are that they asked you at the conference to send them your submission package (and don't forget to write "Requested Material" on the outside of the submission envelope or you know you'll never get it past the mailroom boys/editor's assistant/slushpile reader.)

Handy McCrisis: You drop a hint about some personal disaster you've bravely endured that has completely destabilized your finances but has helped enormously with your growth as an artist.

Important McMembership: In lieu of actual publishing credits, of which you have none, you list your long-standing membership in your writer's organization, the number of chapter contests and conference awards you've won from them (i.e. "Most Improved Writer 1999" or "Brass Kidney finalist 2001-2002.") If you have held office at any time during your membership, you include a paragraph on your official accomplishments, the (deliberately inflated) amount of money you raised for literacy and the actual number of writing contests you've judged.

Name McDroppage: You allude to a close relationship with a famous author, whom you consider your personal friend and professional mentor, when the truth is that you only met said author for thirty seconds after standing in line for three hours at their last charity book signing. Bonus McPoints: You use for your pseudonym the same unusual surname as that of an iconic dead Irish writer and allude to a familial connection, although after an extensive search of Genealogy.com you've surmised that the only real connection your Irish ancestors might have had with any iconic dead Irish writer is that they might have grown some of the crops used to make their favorite alcoholic libations.

Non-Query McQuery: Instead of writing a letter to the editor you're subbing, you enclose a DVD of your quirky homemade bio video, a self-published print edition of your manuscript (999 copies of which are still sitting in boxes in your garage) or a CD of you reading that really exciting scene from your latest opus on open mike nite at the local lithead java joint.

Self-Flattering McComparison: You cite nonexistent similarities between your work and that of at least two rich but respectable mega superstar authors, and follow up with a line that implies your genuine, heartfelt belief that, when published, your work has an excellent shot at surpassing theirs.

Signature Block McLetterage: You list at least three letter abbreviations after your name to represent the degrees you wanted to pursue or never got to finish and/or a well-rounded educational background that is largely or entirely invented on your part. 'Cause it's not like they can check, right?

Spring at the Springs Test

I'm experimenting on you guys today to see how well this Flickr slideshow works on a blog:



Was anyone out there unable to see the slideshow? Did it play all right for you, or did you get stuck on photo #1? Please let me know in comments.

You're My Number ?

Evidently PBW was just named as one of the top 45 author blogs on the internet. I know this because my e-mail screener found the notification in my SPAM folder. Anything that comes with a badge for me to post on my site makes me very leery, as online award badges are sometimes used as a subversive way to build traffic, so I'll just say thank you to the nice man for noticing me.

A few years back I ranked among the top 100 female bloggers on the internet (I'm linking to this one because the guy never e-mailed or badged me; a reader told me about it.) A couple years before that I was in the top 10 genre author blogs on another list picked by [censored], who by doing so created more headaches for me than I want to recall, so I'm going to skip the name and the link on that one as well.

I'm not letting this latest accolade go to my head. With all the writers who have given up actively blogging to twit or facebook, there may only be 45 authors left who do what I do. But it did get me thinking about the blogs and web sites by authors who are not close friends (thus eliminating any pesky conflict of interest while writing this post) that I regularly visit. I seriously adore the market listings at Ralan.com (which is the only site I donate to annually because it is so useful), but I also love the writing-related discussions at Southern Fried Chicas (one of whom is a good friend, I should confess.) I nick more links and videos from The Presurfer than any other place on the internet.

Then there are personalities that attract me. Janet Reid's blog often has very useful info on it, but I read it mostly because she's a little scary, in the very best Last Samurai Agent sense of the word. I occasionally read Carolyn Jewel's blog not only for the unusual topics but because she's interesting and enigmatic. And Kris Reisz always has something obscure and/or fascinating to discuss.

The thing about all top lists that bothers me most is who and what they miss. It's impossible for me to read all the blogs out there in NetPubland, so I can guarantee you that any top ten list of mine will miss writers who have wonderful blogs with tons of useful information. Which is why I'll never officially compile one.

You writers out there, I do want to know if you regularly visit any blogs or sites hosted by another writer that have been helpful to you. If you're inclined to share, let us know about them in comments, and post a link if you have one.

Secrets Ten

Ten Things That Are Huge Secrets ~ Exposed at Last!

How only one click can get you 38,000 free books.

The only thing you really have to do to write a mega-bestselling novel.

Want to come over my house? Then checkout exactly where PBW lives.

Get yourself some authentic magic fairy dust for your novel.

True confession: the only man I would ever leave my guy for.

To find out where I waste the majority of my time, visit PBW's favorite personal porn site.

Discover what truly makes an overnight success.

After fourteen years of lurking in the shadows dodging the cameras sparing everyone's retinas, I've finally had an updated bio pic made of me. Yes, I can personally verify that this photo was taken of me on March 31st, 2012 (and it's miraculous, how really attractive I look in this one.)

Learn everything you ever wanted to know about the secret handshake.

And finally, my dearest wish for all of my visitors today.

Winners & Outside the Lines

The winners of the 2 How-tos giveaway are:

Robin Bayne, who wins Laura Oliver's The Story Within, and who likes Techniques of the Selling Writer by Dwight Swain.

Samantha, who wins Bonnie Neubauer's Take Ten for Writers, and whose favorite writing how-to is Goal, Motivation, and Conflict by Debra Dixon.

Ladies, when you have a chance please send your full name and ship-to information to LynnViehl@aol.com, and I'll get these prizes out to you. My thanks to everyone for joining in.

The first quarter of 2012 is coming to a close today, and I've been looking back to see how well I've done with my theme of coloring outside the lines this year. I think I've gotten off to a good start; I did a lot of new-for-me things as well as things I love with the release of Nightborn, and the results were positive and fun. On the diet front I've successfully given up sugar altogether and (combined with the fallout from the jaw problem) have lost 15 pounds since January. My 1000 cards project stands at 277 finished to date, so I've been keeping up there.

As for the immediate future, I signed up for an online art class that starts in mid-April. I wanted to do this for several reasons: 1) it was inexpensive, 2) the instructor is teaching techniques in a medium I love, 3) I've never taken an online class, and 4) this is really coloring outside the lines for me.

The last time I was an art student I was regularly sent to detention (not by the art teacher, who actually liked me, but by every other teacher I had.) I have since learned to shut my mouth -- well, most of the time -- but I've never gotten over my aversion to teachers and classrooms. It's a stupid attitude for someone who loves to learn, and it's time I moved past it, which is another reason why I'm dipping my toe back into the educational waters.

If this wasn't enough stress, I'm also entering a piece in an upcoming art quilt challenge. I didn't pick an easy one because of course that would be the smart thing to do. If it were a traditional quilting challenge I would feel confident; I've been making patchwork quilts for twenty years and I'm pretty good at it. But I've only recently gotten into art quilts, and to date I've made only about a dozen. Half of those were failures ranging from pitiful to spectacular.

Thing is, I've come up with a simple technique to solve a major headache with traditional and non-traditional quilting, and I want to share it with other quilters. There's no better way to do that than by using it in a piece and entering a challenge.

I'm cautiously excited about taking the online art class. I started assembling my supply list yesterday and I didn't cave into the urge to cancel my enrollment. Also, I know if I can handle a virtual class without messing up or being kicked out of it, then the next step would be to try taking a real-world course. Maybe a beginner's class in photography, since I really know nothing about it other than what I've taught myself with a point-and-shoot. So while I'm suffering through the inevitable pre-class nerves, I have a more distant goal in mind to keep me moving along.

The art quilt challenge is a bit worse. I'm up against the best art quilters out there who have been doing this daily for years, so the odds are extremely good that I'm not even going to be noticed. I think about that, and all my past failures, every time I sit down to work on my piece. While it seems kind of pointless to try, I really believe in this technique of mine, and the results are pretty cool. If I don't place in this challenge, the next thing I could try is a more traditional one, where I would have more of a shot at getting some attention.

When a writing sub op catches your eye, or you consider preparing a novel proposal for a publisher, you'll think of a million reasons not to do it. There are so many writers out there, and at least half are better at it than you. The odds are most definitely against you. You've probably racked up enough rejections to feel beaten before you even start counting words or composing that cover letter. Sanity dictates that you stick to what you know and don't cross any lines into unknown territory. I understand. Been there. Done that. Ten years in a row.

What always kept me going back to the submission list -- and still keeps me at the keyboard every day -- is the thought of all the great writers who never were. How many wonderful stories have we lost to fear and self-doubt? I believe for every Stephenie Meyer and J.K. Rowling on the market there are a dozen just like them who will never be known or their work read. The manuscripts for their amazing novels will sit on a hard drive or gather dust on a shelf until they're deleted or tossed out. This because they didn't think they were any good, and/or they were too afraid to try. Or they tried a few times, and failed, and gave up.

On a more personal level, I also think about a writer of mine who spent years getting ready to write his first novel. We talked about it a lot, and he had the kind of talent and ideas it takes to get into print. I knew he would make it. I just knew. He saved every penny, thought it through, organized, took off from work and prepared to go the distance. He was well aware of his competition and the odds against him, but he was ready. He was so happy, so excited . . . and then he died in an accident, and his novel died with him. So when I think about giving up on writing (or anything) I can almost hear him in the back of my head saying, "You're kidding me, right?"

What are you doing to color outside your lines? What would you like to do? What's keeping you from doing it? Let us know in comments.

2 How-Tos

The cover art for The Story Within ~ New Insights and Inspiration for Writers by Laura Oliver convinced me to pick it up, and I thought it was a pretty interesting read. It has a bit of a rocky start, but once you get past that there's much info to peruse. The author has a solid teaching voice but never drones on and on or gets too boring; I actually read the whole thing cover to cover. Few of the problems I find specific to writing genre were addressed, but I never once felt like the author was spitting on me, so it may be of use to someone who likes the lit stuff. And yes, she definitely has a literary attitude, but she's not obnoxious about it. If you're looking to beautify your writing, get more down-in-the-dirt honest, or explore your secret memoirist/creative nonfic/literary side, then this is could be the right how-to book for you.

Bonnie Neubauer's Take Ten for Writers has my vote for the book you should give that writer friend (or yourself) when they're/you're stuck for ideas, strangled by writer's block or otherwise not producing. I test-drove this one by working through a couple of the exercises, and they do take only ten minutes, and you do come up with some new ideas. The instructions on how to use the book are a little overly-complicated -- the user blindly picks a number between 1 and 10 and that choice decides the subject of the exercise -- which may initially discourage, but it's worth plowing through to get to the writing challenges. As with her Write-Brain Workbook the author incorporates lots of interesting photos, graphics and other visual special effects to keep the content lively. The thing I like best about this author's how-to books is that they're fun and serious at the same time, and this one is as entertaining as it is useful, so you don't feel like you're exercising the muse.

I'd like to pass my copies along to another writer (both have been read once but are in pristine condition), so if you're interested in comments to this post name which book you'd like to win, along with another writing how-to book you find useful (or if you can't think of one, just toss your name in the hat) by midnight EST tonight, March 30th, 2012. I'll draw two name from everyone who participates, and send the winners their choice of either Laura Oliver's The Story Within or Bonnie Neubauer's Take Ten for Writers, along with a surprise. This giveaway is open to everyone on the planet, even if you've won something here at PBW in the past.

Off to Write

I have to unplug today so I can take care of some stuff for one of my editors. So that your stop here was not entirely wasted, here's an interesting video essay about writers by poet Kate Greenstreet (for those of you at work, this one is narrated and has background music and sounds):

Cloth from Kate Greenstreet on Vimeo.

Lost Works

There's an interesting blog post here about what books authors never chose to (or were unable to) publish say about them. While fans of a deceased author often go into raptures over posthumously-published works, I find them a bit gruesome and often inappropriate (especially when during their lifetime the author made it clear they were never to be published.) Yet I was enchanted to hear about the discovery of some music written by Mozart when he was a child, so maybe I should adjust my own attitude.

Obviously writers should destroy anything they don't want to survive them, but this lost works post plus the Mozart discovery made me think of another way to handle posthumous publication. What if you destroyed what you didn't want published (which would really be smart, btw) but also deliberately left behind unpublished/unknown works that you do want published, either to finish works that were never wrapped up and/or to possibly provide some extra income for your heirs? In a way it would be a creative variety of writer's life insurance. It wouldn't be a bad way to bid your readers farewell, either.

I'm leaving behind enough unpublished works that I think the life insurance angle is pretty well-covered, but I also wouldn't mind writing a book and arranging to have it released posthumously for free on the internet. I can think of several ideas that would be cool to leave behind in the free library after I go on to the next place.

Writers, have you considered what should be done with your unpubbed work after your demise? Have you come up with any creative solutions to the dilemma? Let us know in comments.

Next Stop Irony

I love the cover of this map for the London Underground (click to see larger version), which was obviously designed by someone with a wry sense of humor. Wouldn't the journey be so much simpler if we could pick up a map that shows us in advance all of life's endless interchanges?

In the real world we can only wish, but in story worlds we plotters map out in advance what happens to our characters. We usually do this by writing outlines, synopses, chapter summaries, storyboards, index cards, filling in templates and what have you (I've gone so far as to outline a story like a wiring diagram.) I've never thought of mapping out a story like an actual map, probably because cartography is a beautiful, complex art that is completely beyond me. If you think of story like a simple line map for an underground or subway system, however, it seems far less intimidating.

The transit lines would be characters, I think, and the interchanges (stops along the way) would have to mark different points or elements in the story. To make it a useful tool, I'd want to map it out chronologically, starting the lines at chapter one and ending at the final chapter. One could draw/superimpose them on an actual real world map (assuming that would somehow be helpful), but to keep things from getting too complicated I'm going to start with a plain white background.

Here's my first try using three characters and the settings where they intersect in Nightborn:



This could be a lot of fun to do with story elements other than locations or settings, too. A map with transit lines of all the novel characters and what makes them intersect or split away from each other would be fun to put together. Or imagine exploring the progression of a relationship between two characters this way while using the interchanges as events, emotional shifts, the effects of other characters on the relationship, etc.

I don't think you have to use a photo shop program for this; you can draw it in colored markers/pencils on paper, or use a whiteboard with those dry-erase markers (which would probably be easier to revise.) If you're really creative you could probably do something similar with ribbons, push pins and a big cork board, too.

I'm going to keep tinkering with this and see what I can put together. In the meantime, what do you guys think? Would this be something that would work as an outlining tool for you, or is it too weird to be practical?

Sub Ops Ten

Ten Things About Submission Opportunities

Abomination Magazine is looking for "submissions of horror, science fiction, and dark fantasy between 1,000 to 7,500 words in length. We want you to scare us. If your story doesn't incite dread, give us nightmares, or make us feel extremely unsettled, it's probably not for us. Gore is acceptable, but not at the cost of story." Payment: one cent per word. No reprints, electronic submissions only, see guidelines for more details.

New lit e-zine Atomic Avarice "...is seeking work that is inspired by notions of civil disobedience and revolutionary (evolutionary) ideology for its debut edition. Work can be science fiction, fantasy (no unicorns please), horror, prose or whatever genre best suits your passion. Non-fiction work is encouraged. Please keep in mind that this is not a call for disgruntled, political banter or violent, ignorant rants but a rally to challenge the status-quo of the complacent witness with intelligence, creativity, and spirit. In short, Atomic Avarice wants to know if you know you're alive." Length: "Flash Fiction – 750 words or less; Prose/Fiction – 2000 words or less; Poetry – 500 words or less; Editorials – 1500 words or less"; Payment: one cent per word. Query on reprints, electronic submissions only, see guidelines for more details.

E-book publisher Eggplant Literary Productions is looking for novella-length fiction: "All types of speculative fiction (fantasy, science fiction and horror) are welcome and reprints will be considered; however, you should query first with story and publication information before submitting a reprint. Short story collections, full length novels (40,000 words or more), poetry collections or non-speculative fiction novellas will not be considered for open submissions" Length: 20 – 40K; Payment: "$250 (USD) advance + 25% royalty of list price". See guidelines for more details.

Eggplant Literary Productions also has an interesting open call for short pieces: "Inspired by such fantasy libraries as those found in Robin McKinley's Beauty and Terry Pratchett's Discworld series, Eggplant Literary Productions presents Miscellanea: a transdimensional library. The shelves will be filled with books of the other: books that have never existed and that haven't been written yet. What I am looking for are excerpts from such books. I'm looking for works 300 words in length or shorter. These must be works that have not been published elsewhere, that will not be published for the 6 months they'll be featured on the library. I'm keeping my expectations wide open with this project: excerpts from fiction works, otherworldly recipes, snatches of poetry, faux reviews of imagined books, articles from cryptozoological texts, parapsychology manuals, works written in fairy languages, pictograms or mathematical equations, footnotes, even dedications are fair game. Let's get creative here." Payment: $10 flat rate upon acceptance. See guidelines for more details.

Horror on the Installment Plan, a weekly subscription-based ezine, is looking for themed stories: "They must be linked to one of given themes. You need to register to access the themes. I want my authors to be registered because I'm going to write interviews and feature many of them online in the Purgatory Blog." Length: less than 3K (firm); Payment: 5 cents per word on publication, no reprints, electronic submissions only, see guidelines for more details.

In Fabula-Divinos ~ the tale-tellers a monthly e-zine and annual antho, is looking for stories to workshop for publication strictly from writers who are as yet unpublished: "Speculative in nature (that is, science fiction, fantasy or horror)" or "a meld of genres eg fantasy romance, science fiction crime." Length: less than 2k; Payment: $100.00 AU. No reprints (obviously), electronic submissions only, see guidelines for more details.

Liquid Silver Books is looking for hero-centered novels: "When you think of classic romance, what stories stick in your mind? What do all the best-loved stories have in common? We think that special something is a Hero. Liquid Silver Books is looking for stories that feature Heroes. Whether these Heroes are on the nightly news, or unnoticed, or hidden as they go about their work, they all deserve that one person who's not only their perfect partner, but who also brings them a very special "happily ever after." These stories' protagonists must be strong and capable, but should not be perfect – they should feel real, complex, with normal faults and problems, and they should learn important lessons about themselves as they fight to overcome the odds. There can be strong secondary characters, but the building relationship between the protagonists while they battle an intense and gripping conflict or villain must be the main thrust of the story. Heroes stories can fall within any heat level, fitting our Platinum, Sterling, Liquid, or Molten guidelines – see www.liquidsilverbooks.com/guidelines.htm for more information on our heat levels. But they are romance stories, not erotica – there must be a strong and compelling story linking everything together, not a series of sex scenes. They must be at least 15K, and can take place in any setting, from small town America to the vast light years of outer space. They can include paranormal elements, such as shifters or alternate worlds, but the underlying Heroes theme must ring true. Do you have a larger-than-life Hero fighting against all odds in your latest manuscript? If so, we want to see it. We think strong ethics and leadership are in greater need today than ever, and we want to tell stories that showcase these qualities and entice our readers to add new books to their list of favorites." Offers 35% royalties on net sales, see guidelines for more details.

On the Premises is holding a contest for humorous fiction: "Humorous prose is not taken seriously in today's literary world. We aim to rectify that. We dare you to write a short piece of fiction that makes us laugh, or at least smile. If you can make us laugh and think, or laugh and feel deeply about someone or something, all the better. We will not accept parodies of another author's specific fictional characters or world(s). No exceptions! Any genre except children's fiction and exploitative sex or horror is fine. Our sense of humor is broad and forgiving, but you might want to read our special tips for issue 17 on our "Hints for Winning" page anyway." Length: 1-5K, Prizes: Prizes according to Ralan are $180/140/100 & 0-3 HMs@$40 [which I'll interpret as $180.00 for 1st place, $140.00 for second, $100.00 for third, and $40.00 for a maximum of three honorable mentions] No reprints, electronic submissions only, see contest page for more details. Deadline: May 31st, 2012.

New YA literary magazine One Teen Storyis looking for "...great short stories written for the young adult audience ages 14 and up. We're open to all genres of literary fiction between 2,000 and 4,500 words. Because of our format, we can only accept stories that are strong enough to stand alone." Payment: $500.00, electronic submissions only, see guidelines for more details.

The Saturday Evening Post is sponsoring their first annual Great American Fiction contest: "The winning story will be published in the Jan/Feb 2013 edition of the magazine and on our website. The winning writer will receive a payment of $500. Five runners-up will be published on our website and receive payment of $100 each." As for what they want: "Entries must be character- or plot-driven stories in any genre of fiction that falls within the Post's broad range of interest—one guided by the publication's mission: Celebrating America, Past, Present, and Future." Length: "1,500-5,000 words in length", no reprints, electronic submissions only, see contest page for more details on content and format. They're charging a $10 entry fee, which greatly annoys me, but for some of you the opportunity and exposure might be worth ten bucks. Deadline: July 1st, 2012.

Most of the above market listings were found among the market listings over at Ralan.com as well as the forums at AbsoluteWriter.com.