Scott William Carter's Blog, page 17

The Care and Feeding of Rubber Chickens: A Novel

Yep, that's the title, and it's certainly one of my crazier ones.  If memory serves, I made a joke years ago saying that was going to be the name of my next book – and then realized that, actually, I kind of liked it if I could find the right book to go with it.  So I jotted it down and forgot about it until I thought of this first line:  "My dad owns a rubber chicken factory."

With that, I was off and running, and the result is a strange combination of wacky and poignant as I tell the story of Trevor Livingston and his thousand-mile quest to tell the girl of his dreams how he really feels about her.  And of course, nothing goes quite as expected.  More about the book below.  (It's available as an ebook now, with the paperback to follow in a few months.)

If you liked The Last Great Getaway of the Water Balloon Boys or President Jock, Vice President Geek, you'll probably like this one.  It has a very similar tone and feel.  It's aimed at young adults in the 16-18 range, but I think adult readers might like it even more.

And this is also completes, at least for the short term, what I consider my contemporary YA trilogy.  By contemporary, I mean there's no fantasy, aliens, or any of that crazy stuff that happens in a lot of my fiction — just modern day teens struggling with modern day issues.  I happen to have a pretty broad taste when it comes to both reading and writing, but for now at least, I've said what I want to say on this front and I'm turning my attention to other books for a while. 

What will those books be?  Ah, to answer that question would be to spoil the fun, wouldn't it?  And of course I don't always know myself.  Sometimes all I have to go on is a strange title . . .

The Care and Feeding of Rubber Chickens:  A Novel

by Scott William Carter

Seventeen-year-old Trevor can't catch a break. Just when he finds out that Janna, the girl of his dreams, is finally available, his mom tells him he's being shipped off to a boarding school because of his awful grades. A desperate call to his dad, who owns a rubber chicken factory in Las Vegas, gets him nowhere. His father is more interested in enlisting Trevor's aid writing what he sees as the perfect gag gift – a how-to manual about rubber chickens. That's Trevor's life for you. Everyone around him is totally and utterly insane.

But there's still Janna. He's had a crush on her since sixth grade. Can he get himself to say the words to her that he's been rehearsing for years? He finally musters the courage to visit her house and find out.

That's when everything goes crazy.

*****

Grade 10 Up – "My dad owns a rubber chicken factory." With this zany first line, readers are launched on a surprisingly poignant coming-of-age journey. Part buddy story, part road trip adventure, and part ruminations on the difference between love and infatuation, Carter offers up a vivid portrait of a young man – Trevor Livingston – who blunders into a thousand-mile quest to tell the girl of his dreams how he really feels about her. Although the book is appropriate for more mature young adult readers, adults may find even greater enjoyment in Trevor's distinctive voice and abundant references to popular culture – Star Trek and The Princess Bride, for example, are favorite targets. Fans of Carter's award-winning first novel, The Last Great Getaway of the Water Balloon Boys, are certain to find this heartfelt look at the angst and insanity of modern adolescence an equally riveting read.

Electronic Edition:

Amazon | B&N | Smashwords   

Paperback Edition:

Coming soon.

Lincoln and the Dragon Now Available as Audio Book

Flying Raven Press has just released the audio book version of  Lincoln and the Dragon, a short novel of just under 100 pages at print length.  It's now available at Amazon.com, Audible.com, and iTunes.com.  Listening time is just under two hours.  Special thanks to Gary L Willprecht for his excellent narration.  Here's more about the book:

The fateful first of January. That's how Abraham Lincoln described New Year's Day in 1841, the day he temporarily broke off his engagement with Mary Todd.

Although this fact is well known among historians, what is not known is what else happened that day – when a deranged, dimension-hopping descendant of a Confederate general attempted to assassinate Lincoln long before he became the 16th President of the United States.

When the madman's plan goes awry, Lincoln finds himself stranded in the land of Howander, a world populated by brave knights, drafty castles, and a princess terribly scarred by a one-eyed dragon who's promised to return for her on her upcoming birthday. As he finds himself falling for the princess, Lincoln must make a choice: stay and fight the dragon, or heed the call of his dark dreams, which offer him tantalizing glimpses of his native country's future – a country which may need a hero even more than this one.

The Indie Writer's Tool Kit: How to Sell Better and Make More Money

Well, the holidays came and went with the usual fanfare.  Lots of food, lots of gift wrapping, lots of good times.  And it's raining a lot again here in the Willamette Valley.  Rainy and cold in January — no shock.  All the traditions continue.

I'm co-teaching a workshop in "indie publishing" with Dean Wesley Smith next month in Lincoln City, Oregon: "The Indie Writer's Tool Kit: How to Sell Better and Make More Money," February 25-28, basically from 7 p.m. on Friday until noon on Tuesday.  My own publishing company, Flying Raven Press, has added a nice secondary income to my life, and I know Dean is doing fantastically well with his own WMG Publishing.  Although I have no plans to abandon working with traditional publishing (Wooden Bones is coming out from Simon and Schuster this August), the opportunities to go direct to readers, and skip the middlemen, are incredible for writers today.  It's given me tons of options I didn't have two years ago.

Contact Dean if you're interested in attending.

This is essentially a "level 2″ for those who attended the Think Like a Publisher Workshop last year, or for people who already have the basics of publishing an ebook and POD and want help taking it to the next level.  Should be a lot of fun.  The full workshop description is below, and Dean also has a very good post about why we tweaked the title — and the writer vs. author mindset in general.

Preparing for this workshop has also clarified my thinking about how best to spend my time as a writer and a publisher.  It's also lead me to what other people might find are some surprising conclusions.  I no longer have a Facebook or Twitter account, for example.  And I no longer feel a need to blog regularly (in fact, I think doing so can actually be counterproductive).  Though I think it's more important than ever to maintain an informative and accurate website.  It's amazing how many author websites fail that simple test.

I'll be talking about all that and more next month.  There are lots of things a writer can do to sell better and make more money.

~|~

The Indie Writer's Tool Kit: How to Sell Better and Make More Money

For writers who attended the Think Like a Publisher Workshop, or people who aready know the basics of publishing an ebook or POD, here's a workshop to help you take your publishing enterprise to the next level. Learn the basics of writing effective book descriptions, techniques to make your covers look professional, how to use the Internet to promote (and how not to), and how to get your print books into independent bookstores. Audio books, author bios, loss leaders, pricing effectively, boosting productivity, website tools — all this and more is packed into four

intense days of learning. Includes in depth discussions about the current

state of publishing and the exciting opportunities that exist for writers.  Contact Dean Wesley Smith for more information.

The Indie Writer’s Tool Kit: How to Sell Better and Make More Money

Well, the holidays came and went with the usual fanfare.  Lots of food, lots of gift wrapping, lots of good times.  And it’s raining a lot again here in the Willamette Valley.  Rainy and cold in January — no shock.  All the traditions continue.

I’m co-teaching a workshop in “indie publishing” with Dean Wesley Smith next month in Lincoln City, Oregon: “The Indie Writer’s Tool Kit: How to Sell Better and Make More Money,” February 25-28, basically from 7 p.m. on Friday until noon on Tuesday.  My own publishing company, Flying Raven Press, has added a nice secondary income to my life, and I know Dean is doing fantastically well with his own WMG Publishing.  Although I have no plans to abandon working with traditional publishing (Wooden Bones is coming out from Simon and Schuster this August), the opportunities to go direct to readers, and skip the middlemen, are incredible for writers today.  It’s given me tons of options I didn’t have two years ago.

Contact Dean if you’re interested in attending.

This is essentially a “level 2″ for those who attended the Think Like a Publisher Workshop last year, or for people who already have the basics of publishing an ebook and POD and want help taking it to the next level.  Should be a lot of fun.  The full workshop description is below, and Dean also has a very good post about why we tweaked the title — and the writer vs. author mindset in general.

Preparing for this workshop has also clarified my thinking about how best to spend my time as a writer and a publisher.  It’s also lead me to what other people might find are some surprising conclusions.  I no longer have a Facebook or Twitter account, for example.  And I no longer feel a need to blog regularly (in fact, I think doing so can actually be counterproductive).  Though I think it’s more important than ever to maintain an informative and accurate website.  It’s amazing how many author websites fail that simple test.

I’ll be talking about all that and more next month.  There are lots of things a writer can do to sell better and make more money.

~|~

The Indie Writer’s Tool Kit: How to Sell Better and Make More Money

For writers who attended the Think Like a Publisher Workshop, or people who aready know the basics of publishing an ebook or POD, here’s a workshop to help you take your publishing enterprise to the next level. Learn the basics of writing effective book descriptions, techniques to make your covers look professional, how to use the Internet to promote (and how not to), and how to get your print books into independent bookstores. Audio books, author bios, loss leaders, pricing effectively, boosting productivity, website tools — all this and more is packed into four

intense days of learning. Includes in depth discussions about the current

state of publishing and the exciting opportunities that exist for writers.  Contact Dean Wesley Smith for more information.

Postcards from the Garage: Puget Sound

Took the family on a fun weekend trip to Seattle by Amtrak.  This is the view from my train window.

"The Android Who Became a Human Who Became an Android" Reprinted in Russian Magazine "If"

My science fiction story with a rather long title, "The Android Who Became a Human Who Became an Android," has been reprinted in the Russian magazine, Esli, which roughly translates as "If" in English.  It was originally published in Analog in September 2010.

I got my contributor copy in the mail over the weekend, mailed all the way from Moscow, and it's a sweet looking magazine.   First time I've been printed in Russian, as far as I know.  Only problem?  I can't read a word of it.  They even translated my name!  The only way I was able to tell which story was mine was the copyright notice at the end of the story, which was in English.  Another weird moment in being a writer.

By the way, you can now buy this story individually to read in electronic format at Amazon, B&N, or, at Smashwords.com.  It's a longish tale, nearly short novel length, so it's a good deal for only 99 cents.  Here's the blurb and the cover:

~ | ~

The Android Who Became a Human Who Became an Android

by Scott William Carter

It ain't easy being a private investigator in a galaxy that spans thousand of worlds – especially when you make the mistake of putting your heart on the line. When an old flame of Dexter Duff's shows up out of the blue, claiming her rich husband is missing, Duff has mixed feelings about getting involved. She's willing to pay top dollar, though, and like usual, Duff is broke. The case turns even stranger when it turns out her husband, who was once an android, became a human for her sake through a costly and risky procedure – and then went back to being an android when she seemed happier with him the way he was before. Then he vanished without a trace.

Readers of this story may want to check out "The Bear Who Sang Opera," another story featuring Dexter Duff, as well as other stories set in Carter's Unity Worlds universe.

Available Now in Electronic Format:  Amazon | B&N | Smashwords

“The Android Who Became a Human Who Became an Android” Reprinted in Russian Magazine “If”

My science fiction story with a rather long title, “The Android Who Became a Human Who Became an Android,” has been reprinted in the Russian magazine, Esli, which roughly translates as “If” in English.  It was originally published in Analog in September 2010.

I got my contributor copy in the mail over the weekend, mailed all the way from Moscow, and it’s a sweet looking magazine.   First time I’ve been printed in Russian, as far as I know.  Only problem?  I can’t read a word of it.  They even translated my name!  The only way I was able to tell which story was mine was the copyright notice at the end of the story, which was in English.  Another weird moment in being a writer.

By the way, you can now buy this story individually to read in electronic format at Amazon, B&N, or, at Smashwords.com.  It’s a longish tale, nearly short novel length, so it’s a good deal for only 99 cents.  Here’s the blurb and the cover:

~ | ~

The Android Who Became a Human Who Became an Android

by Scott William Carter

It ain’t easy being a private investigator in a galaxy that spans thousand of worlds – especially when you make the mistake of putting your heart on the line. When an old flame of Dexter Duff’s shows up out of the blue, claiming her rich husband is missing, Duff has mixed feelings about getting involved. She’s willing to pay top dollar, though, and like usual, Duff is broke. The case turns even stranger when it turns out her husband, who was once an android, became a human for her sake through a costly and risky procedure – and then went back to being an android when she seemed happier with him the way he was before. Then he vanished without a trace.

Readers of this story may want to check out “The Bear Who Sang Opera,” another story featuring Dexter Duff, as well as other stories set in Carter’s Unity Worlds universe.

Available Now in Electronic Format:  Amazon | B&N | Smashwords

Dispatches from the Frontlines of Fatherhood: One-Upsmanship

The scene:  Dinner.  My five-year-old, as usual, is complaining about what we're feeding him.

Me:  I'm tired of the whining.  Someone made you a nice dinner, so the least you can do is eat it.  If you don't, maybe I'll write a book about you.  I'll call it Calvin the Little Engine Who Couldn't.  What do you think about that?

Calvin:  If you do that, if you do that – I'll – I'll take the napkins and throw them at your face.

Me:  Yeah, but I can get that book published and have it appear in every school library in America.  Millions of kids will know who you are.  So you shouldn't try to one-up me.  I've got the advantage.

Calvin (thinking about it):  Then I'll spank your bottom ten times.

Cover of Wooden Bones

Good news and bad news.  The good news is that it looks like you can now pre-order my fantasy, Wooden Bones, from Amazon.  It's published by the same folks who brought you my first novel, Simon and Schuster Books for Young Readers, and it's aimed at 9-12 year-olds.  (Of course, I'm hoping adults will enjoy it just as much as kids – think Neil Gaiman's Coraline,which is similar in tone and feel.)  The pitch line?  Becoming a real boy was just the beginning . . . It's the untold story of Pinocchio, who, after he becomes a real boy, discovers he has the power to bring puppets to life himself. 

The bad news is that publication date is not until August 7, 2012, so you'll have a bit of a wait.  There's no description of the book up yet either; that will follow before too long. 

I can, however, now safely post the cover here, since the publisher has posted it on Amazon and elsewhere.  I'm very happy with it.  It really captures the right mood for the story.

New Story in Realms of Fantasy: "The Man Who Made No Mistakes"

I've got a new story out in the latest Realms of Fantasy, "The Man Who Made No Mistakes," which chronicles a black man with a unique time traveling ability who faces a wrenching ethical delimma.  It's a longer story, approaching short novel length — a tale of race, murder, and the nature of sin, all wrapped into one.  It's an idea I made a run at years ago but didn't get quite right, and the idea stuck with me, so I made a fresh attempt at it.  It's also accompanied by a stunning — and fitting — illustration by Billy Norrby.

The opening of the story is below.  You can subscribe to Realms of Fantasy or buy individual issues on their website.

The Man Who Made No Mistakes

Scott William Carter

It may have been the steady drone of the rain on the church roof, or it may have been the second bourbon he'd had with dinner, but Father Holder found himself dozing in the confessional.  His whole body was slumping against the heavy oak panels when the young man spoke.

"This won't be your usual confession," he said.

The voice jolted Father Holder awake — heart pounding, breath catching in his throat.  For a moment, looking through the thick gray mesh, he thought he'd dreamed the voice, that it was a fabrication concocted from a stomach full of beef stroganoff — but then the young man opened his eyes and Father Holder saw the bright whites, luminescent almost, surrounding a pair of penetrating dark pupils.  That's when he realized the reason he was having trouble seeing his confessor was because the young man had skin nearly as black as the darkness.

"Oh my," Father Holder said with a nervous laugh.  His heart was still thundering in his ears.  He also had an embarrassing line of slobber on his cheek, and he wiped it away with his sleeve.  "You do know how to make an entrance, son."

"Sorry," the young man said.  "I didn't know you were sleeping."

He had just a tinge of a Southern accent, but of a particular variety — Cajun, maybe?  It was barely there, like a radio playing faintly in another room.  Whoever he was, he certainly wasn't from around here.  Of course, that was true of just about everyone in Las Vegas.

"I wasn't asleep," Father Holder said, even as he blinked away the bleariness in his eyes.  "Just resting my eyes a little.  I was — what time is it anyway?"

"Late," the young man said.  "Very late.  Midnight almost."

"Ah," Father Holder sighed, and he was going to say that he should have closed the church an hour ago, but then he would have to admit he'd been nodding off.  Instead he said:  "Well.  I do need to be getting home here soon.  You didn't start by asking for my blessing, son.  Did you really come to make a confession?"  He felt vaguely guilty for the accusatory tone, but he knew it was because he was feeling defensive.

"Yes.  Of a kind."

"Of a kind?"

"Well . . . I didn't ask for your blessing, Father, because I don't think I sinned.  I did something awful, I guess, but I can't see how it's a sin.  I don't know.  Maybe you can tell me.  All I know is it wasn't a mistake.  I don't make mistakes."

Father Holder chuckled.  The young man didn't.

"I'm sorry," Father Holder said.  "I assumed you were joking."

"No.  I wouldn't joke about this."

"Hmm."

"I just don't make mistakes.  Even now, after everything, I can say it.  But maybe a mistake and a sin aren't the same thing.  I guess that's why I'm here.  That and to tell you my story — I want you to hear it."

Continued . . .