Anny Cook's Blog, page 83

International Women's Day!!!

Wishes II

Things I wish my fellow authors knew--or believed.

Every person has something (or even more than one something!) that annoys them. Since most of my interactions happen to be with other authors and those in the publishing field, I suppose it's natural that my annoyances relate to them. I expect everyone has a list and it probably is different from mine. That's usually the way these things work.

1) Squeeeeee!!! There are many ways to indicate your joy and excitement over a fabulous review or a new contract. This shouldn't be one of them. It makes the author look like he/she is a pre-teen. And not a real bright one at that. It also does nothing to demonstrate his or her command of the English language. Really.

2) The internet is forever. Discussing your sex life in public forums is something you may regret someday. And by then it will be too late. Ditto airing your marriage/relationship laundry (dirty or clean). We all have arguments with our significant others. If you want to rant, do it with your best friend--via private e-mail.

3) I'm willing to support almost any author in their promo efforts. Really. But that doesn't include when they flood my e-mail inbox/facebook/twitter/etc. with demands to buy their book/vote for their book/review their book/etc. See #1. Spamming fellow authors is a sign of desperation and/or newbie-ism. I'm pretty sure that's not what they're going for.

4) Begging for votes. For anything. It reminds me of sweaty-faced guys on telethons. Again, with the desperation. While I would never tell someone to NOT vote for my book or cover or whatever...isn't the actual honor related to having your name on the list? Begging all your fans/family/friends to vote for you proves nothing--except that you're an excellent begger. Hmmmm. Maybe there should be a poll for that?

5) Finally, I just have a deep urge to cringe when an author demonstrates their wholehearted lack of common sense. In this day of the wide open information highway, there's no reason to jump into the public arena with questions that reveal your lack of experience. When an author "wonders" on facebook why they don't have a review for their brand new book, that's a sign they're pretty new. Most of us are thrilled when a review sight gets around to reviewing our book. That's because there are a bazillion books out there and...half a dozen reviewers. When you have questions like that, check it out with one of your mentors. There are no dumb questions--just unfortunate places to voice them.

So there are my hot buttons. What are some of yours?

anny

Girl in the Purple Tights--WIP

"Mikel and your mother intended to leave Earth. They died before they could accomplish that, but the message they sent summoning help was received. That's why I was there, waiting for you."  "How long did you plan to leave us stumbling around in the desert?" she asked bitterly."You were walking directly toward me, as though you had a map. It was decided to let you come to me, rather than the other way around. After all, you weren't inclined to accept my help, even then. We were afraid you would run, drawing unwanted attention to all of us.""Why not come get us in the city?""And you would have calmly turned over yourselves without a qualm? Again, I think not. This way worked out the best, with the least fuss." He stood. "It is time. Are you ready?"She nodded. "Yeah. Let's get this over.""Ah, but Abilene, it's only the beginning."After bidding the twins goodbye, they walked down the purple lined hallway to the opposite end from the landing platform. There, they entered another glass bubble that shot straight up the outside of the structure, giving Abilene an unrestricted view. She had a hard time processing the things she saw. Clear glass tubes twisted like a mad knot of spaghetti in the center. Around them, arranged like towering pieces of pie, were buildings that soared higher than she could see. Islands of flowering plants and tall trees floated with no apparent support. Waterfalls and clouds and even the occasional rain shower appeared randomly. She couldn't imagine the actual size of a ship that accommodated such a place. As she gaped at the fantasy land around her, she saw dozens of the bubble vehicles zipping through the tubes. "We are here, Abilene."She had no idea how long Jarius had been waiting. With a last glance, she took the hand he offered and walked down another long hall with him, noting this one had two deep green lines on the walls.  They stopped at a door with the letter Z on the door. Jarius placed his palm on the white circle and the door softly slid open. Inside, a male and a female sat at a table, waiting. Abilene fought the urge to stare at them in stunned fascination while Jarius seated her before sitting down next to her."Abilene, this is Counselor Tena LawGiver. She is Charmonan from Yandoyi. Her assistant is Counselor Barak LawKeeper from Ouslymot on Yandoyi. "Nice to meet you." Abilene met their twinkling, amused eyes, then quickly looked down at her folded hands, resting on the table. She could feel the embarrassed flush creeping up her cheeks. The female appeared to be some type of catwoman. Short silky tawny fur covered her from head to toe…at least it covered every bit of skin that wasn't hidden by her formal uniform. She had hands with claw-tipped fingers. Each claw was painted and decorated with jewels, but that didn't hide the fact they were potential weapons. She wore two small gold balls in the tips of her cat ears. And her eyes, a startling icy blue had the elongated feline pupils. She was a recognizable type, Abilene decided. To a reader of paranormal romances, she wasn't even particularly shocking.The male, well the male was something far, far out of the realm of her imagination. A steady diet of Star Wars and E.T. had done little to prepare her for this meeting. He was a plant? Maybe? The visible portions of his body resembled the rough bark of a tree. The backs of his "hands" were covered with a deep green mossy surface, just like his head, except for his face. There he almost resembled a human. Two dark chocolate eyes, a prominent hatchet nose, and wide mobile mouth that was currently smiling with gentle amusement. "Strange old universe, isn't it?" he asked."I'm so sorry for staring." Abilene was so embarrassed she couldn't meet his eyes."I'm not."She looked up at him in shock. "What?""You're a lovely woman. I don't recall ever seeing an Earthling with that particular shade of skin. Are there many of you on Earth? If so, I must see if I can arrange a visit."Fortunately, Jarius chose to intervene. "Earthlings have a broad range of skin colors and hair colors. Even their eyes are various hues. If you wish, I will send you some images from my time on Earth. For now, I'm sure your time is too valuable to spend it discussing anthropological issues. Perhaps we can address the issues from Mikel StarRunner's will?""Of course."

Wish List

When the first time author leaps into the publishing pool, they usually have a lot to learn. Sometimes they're quick learners but for many of us...well, we take a little longer. One of the most frequent questions asked in author interviews is "What piece of advice would you give to a new author?"

I think a more important question might be "What would you like to tell the publishers?" This is my wishlist...

1) Please get together and standardize your submission guidelines. One publisher requires a minimum two page synopsis. The next one has a two page maximum for their synopsis requirements. Publisher ABC would like your submission in Times New Roman pt. 12, single spaced. But Publisher XYZ wants it in Calibri pt. 13--with 1.5 line spacing. All of the required formats will ultimately have to be changed when the book is formatted for release. Why not pick some standardized submission guidelines and make life easier for everybody?

2) If you're gonna swap my editors out every time I submit a book like a clean change of underwear, please have the courtesy to a) send me an official notification from the head honcho, and b) include a brief working bio of the new editor. I know I have no control over who edits my book. I do think it's common sense to know something about that individual and their editorial skills and background. How long have they been editing? Who else have they edited?

3) Within the actual publishing house, I wish you would standardize the author's packet. At Publisher ABC, Editor Susie sends me items 1, 5 and 7 to complete and send back to her. Editor Justin sends me items 1, 3 and 6 to complete, etc. Editor Georgia doesn't send me any thing to complete and when I make a delicate inquiry, brusquely informs me authors just screw up the paper work so she filled it all out herself...including such items as my cover request and blurb.
Ask me if I will ever resubmit another book to that publisher.

4) Publishing is a business. This is something we authors hear over and over. So...pay me on time. State a specific pay date. And make sure I receive my royalty payment on that date. That's good business. If I can't count on a specific pay date, I can't plan my own finances. I know it's an odd concept but some of us have families who like to eat and require shelter.

5) Courtesy and good manners are part of good business technique. Please don't swear at me, use foul language, or SCREAM at me in your e-mails. Be professional. Oh, yeah. Use spellcheck. When I receive a letter full of typos and bad grammar from a publishing house it makes me rethink the idea of dealing with them.

5) Finally, if we have discussed some issue and reached an agreement, stick with your word. There used to be an old expression, "His word is his bond." It meant his agreement or promise was iron clad. That's the kind of publisher I want to work with.

In my next post, I'll address things I wish authors knew.

anny

Kitchen Magnet Wisdom

Anny's All Night Diner~~Clean Up Your Own Mess!

Mom~~No matter where I go or who I'm with I know you're always behind me quietly ripping your hair out.

The BEST thing I ever have in my kitchen is a friend that can cook. Help Wanted!

anny

Man Skirts

Of all the garments men can wear, aside from jeans, the kilt seems to engender the most swoons. Now why, I wonder. Could it be the chance--just a small chance--that it might get caught in a breeze and reveal something interesting?

That might be. One of the more popular punch lines for jokes is "What does a man wear under his kilt?"--or a variation of that query. Only the particular fellow and his significant other really knows. But women have fertile imaginations, don't they?

Personally, I don't really care for the "modern" kilt--the one men wear for formal events. It's just too buttoned down. I can't imagine them fighting or doing much of anything very exciting in that prim little skirt. Now, the "great kilt"--the original, yep. That's the one worn in movies like Braveheart. That's the romantic kilt. Apparently, it's mostly a myth, unfortunately. :-(

For a very long, extensive history of the kilt, check out Wikipedia. They explain the importance of the pleating and tartans (which is also mostly a myth!) and exactly how it should be measured for the perfect fit. Sigh.

I suppose all of those things are important if you're gonna wear one to a formal dance or something. But that still doesn't answer the central question, does it? What's underneath? Aside from the obvious, of course.

Perhaps, that's where the fascination is...boxers, briefs or commando?

anny

Solitairey

In the shadowy evening hours as the day unwinds, people all over the world hunch over their computers/iphones/electronic devices...playing Solitaire, 5 Roll, Angry Birds or some other game of their choice.

Solitaire is the first computer game new users learn. It's the game that unites us all from the youngest to the oldest. And from there we branch out, some going on to sophisticated, multi-layered games that take hours or days or months to play.

All have one thing in common. They're played alone. By their very nature, they isolate us in our lonely game caves.

No, I'm not against computer games. For the aging population, most of whom live in solitary splendor, I believe games can keep the mind agile and alive. For the young, such games help them develop cognitive skills and motor skills as they zip the mouse around on the screen.

But I wonder if the games-playing also reveals something about us as a culture. We're tired. Playing a game requires very little input from us. At the exhausted end of the day we don't want to interact with people, we don't want to read a book or watch a movie. At that point we simply want to veg out and fill an hour or two until it's time to go to bed.

In the end, we all become Solitairey animals... :-)

anny

Kama Sutra Lovers

One of the most frequently asked question I receive is how do I make the love scenes different and fresh with each book. I could lie and tell you I thumb through the Kama Sutra in search of new and unusual positions. I actually did that a couple years ago for a book I wrote--Kama Sutra Lovers. The book centered around the heroine/heroes choosing random cards from a Kama Sutra deck. It was interesting, but not my general style.

I tend to believe each set of characters will tell you what they want. And how they want it. And when they want it. And just as in life, some couples are...hornier than other couples. Some like to cuddle. Some like to try it on the staircase. That's life.

I suspect those writers who strive to continually come up with something new have more difficulty than those who simply let their characters show them what they want.

I've written scenes in showers, barns, under a plane in a rain storm, in a glass-walled greenhouse, in the woods, and yes...even in a bed (how unusual is that!) Place and time all play an important part of course. But the most compelling piece is the characters themselves.

When a writer tells me they are having a hard time writing a sexy scene, I always point out the characters may not want to do what the writer has in mind. We all have very different things that turn us on--or off. Just because the writer seeks to do something different or unusual doesn't mean their characters want to do that. Maybe, just maybe they want to cuddle before they indulge in the loving comfort of the missionary position!

Calisthenics are not required for an exciting, decadent love scene. Love and mutual desire are. After that, place and setting may add that little extra touch to the scene.

But I wonder if our efforts for the odd and unusual lead us astray. If it makes our characters uncomfortable they will flat out refuse to carry on. Then it's time for us to stop and reconsider. Making it on a blanket on the beach or in the restroom in the museum may not be nearly as exciting as the author believes. Perhaps a change of venue, something more private and intimate, is really what they want.

And if the stairs are their thing...well just make sure their insurance is up to date.

anny

For information about Kama Sutra Lovers, click on the book cover!

Order!

One of the things I find fascinating about living in an apartment is the assumption that most inhabitants eat a lot of take-out food. We must find twenty flyers tucked in our door knob or door knocker per week.

What exactly can we order?

Pizza. Pizza. Pizza. Southern Kitchen. Chinese. Pizza. Chinese. Pizza. And more pizza.

I'm waiting for someone to open a carryout restaurant with something other than pizza or fried food. Oh, I know most restaurants have a carryout capability, but most of them are not really set up for it. They dump the food in a carton designed for taking home your leftovers. By the time you get the food home and open it, the bread's soggy, the meat is cold...

No. I'm thinking more along the lines of a place that focuses on producing meals specifically for take-out. I recently ordered a hamburger at a restaurant for carryout. By the time I got home, it was cold. Very soggy. And the components had slid apart in the container so I had to peel it apart to put it back together. Ugh.

We don't order out very often. I mean, really? Pizza or Chinese? That's it. I discount the southern cooking place as everything is fried and my cholesterol really can't deal with that. There used to be a restaurant where I could order a salad, but they went out of business.

Perhaps it's just as well. Food cooked at home from scratch is healthier and you tend to not eat as much. But once in a while...

You just want to order out!

anny

Phantom's Rest

This week I received my print copies of Phantom's Rest! And yeah, it was cool to hold them in my hand and check out the beautiful cover--front and back! But the book is also out in digital format and I'm just as proud of the digital book as the print books. Whatever your style--I hope you'll grab a copy and read it!

Just to wet your appetite, here's the blurb and a short excerpt!

When Beauregard Barker leaves his military career due to injuries, he takes refuge at the Phantom's Rest RV Park, expecting no more than a place to recover as he helps renovate the park. First he discovers the place is full of ghosts. Then Emmeline Fairchild arrives for her annual stay and everything changes. Beau falls hard for the shy calligrapher who's being stalked by a killer. Whatever it takes, he's determined to keep her safe and persuade her he's the man for her.

Excerpt:
Narrow shafts of sunlight sneaked past the blinds to bombard him in the face. Grumpily, Beau rolled over and pulled the lumpy pillow over his head. A series of muffled thumps from outside invaded his restless sleep. Woobie whined.Beau groped in the covers for Woobie's "baby"—a tattered, ragged teddy bear—and tossed it in her direction. Then the familiar strains of a man singing something Italian wove their way from next door. Vaguely, he recognized the artist as one of Aunt Agatha's favorites, though his name escaped Beau at the moment. When the volume abruptly grew louder, Woobie lifted her head and howled along with the singer in a doggie duet. The music soared to a towering crescendo as Woobie ended on a high note. Cursing, Beau sat up and glared at the door. The melody sounded a lot like opera—his least favorite genre of music. When the singer switched from operatic Italian to a hypnotic Spanish number accompanied by flashy guitar work, his patience reached its limits. While Woobie soulfully howled along with the new song, Beau knuckled his burning eyes, listening to his dog in disbelief. He leaned over, groping on the floor for his clothes. Finally, he snatched up his plaid boxers, jerking them on wrong side out before leaping from his camper to storm his way to the driveway next door. His eyes were bloodshot from the inside out. Tiny leprechauns were lustily hammering in his head. He yelped and cursed as he stepped on a sharp stone. Hopping sideways on his bad foot, he twisted his ankle, landing squarely on his butt in a small puddle of water. Clapping his hands over his ears, he tried to block out the soaring music as the singer reached a powerful finale with Woobie howling in the background. Abruptly, the music stopped. He closed his eyes, savoring the exquisite relief.         And then she laughed.

Hope you enjoyed it! For buy info and a longer excerpt, click HERE! 


anny