M.C. Frank's Blog, page 404

November 3, 2017

inkskinned:
on a scale of one to ten how sad are you.
you almost say seven but the answer floats in...

on a scale of one to ten how sad are you.

you almost say seven but the answer floats in your lungs like rising mud. you shift your shoulders. some part of you is already forming an excuse. that it’s not that bad sometimes. one, two, three on a day that the clouds are out. you’re just complaining about stuff. yesterday you laughed past a brick of a four, does that make the brick come down to a two-point-five. the solid seven panic attack of last tuesday feels somehow like a little thorn, just a regular day full of a gentle three-point-nine earthquake rocking after yesterday’s close-to-an-eight. see but if tomorrow you have a real bad day, it will make today look simple.

and what if. what if tomorrow it’s a big old red eight-point-nine. like one of those days where sirens are going off in every part of you but you’re stuck behind a glass window watching it all burn down. like one of those days that your skin against the air feels foreign. like too much of everything. like sitting-in-the-shower, like can’t-eat, like the tide isn’t just coming in, it came while you were sleeping and now you’ve gotta learn how to swim. like bounce me against a bullet hole kind of day.

you keep numbers like nine and ten way out of reach. those are for the people who really are suffering. you’ve got no excuse. nine and ten are funeral numbers, for real problems, not yours, no. and sometimes you’re fine. and you’re kind of used to it. and it’s not sad, it’s just numb like a television caught on static. numb like i can’t remember if i care about this. numb like nothing works but i can’t be bothered to fix it. that’s not sad that’s every day stuff. everybody feels like this, right? feels like they’ve been shut off. right.

maybe five. right in the middle. like not gonna shoot myself but i’m not wasting your time. a nonanswer. like could be worse could be better. like i need help but i don’t want you to worry even though i need someone to worry about me because i can’t worry about myself. maybe five. but what if five is too small. what if five is too big. what if -

“on a scale of one to ten,” he repeats into your silence, and then pauses. “and please be honest about this.”

ten is for funerals.

Wel…

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Published on November 03, 2017 15:27

Nanowrimo Day 3 - On breakups

I don’t know about you, but I plan to put my characters through a WORLD of pain. (I always do). The ending just isn’t that satisfactory unless they have to fight the world, and themselves, to get it.

Anyone agree with me? I learned that’s the trick to a really powerful story by reading, of course. Would Jane Eyre’s story have stuck with us all these decades, if she hadn’t had to go through fire and tears, many times over, to get to her happy ending? Would we love Elizabeth Bennet so much if she hadn’t almost lost Mr Darcy and his love not once but twice? Things going wrong, and espexially breakups, are what makes us care.

That’s why I was really thrilled back when the beta readers for Lose Me. got angry during the 3rd part of the book. At the same time, I took time to talk to each and every single one of them. I wanted the reasons for the character’s actions to be clear to the reader, but not force-fed. I changed the wording, added paragraphs, took out little misleading words. I edited, edited again, sent it to the readers multiple times.

A r i D e m o s (stunt girl):

W e s t o n S p e n c e r (actor):

In the end, I had something that matched the idea I had in my head really well, and, hoping for the best, I released my baby book to the world.

As soon as people started reading the book, the Wes-Ari feels started flowing. And then.

The reviews.

I was so excited when people said that the book DESTROYED them. Isn’t that what we all want out of a good book? I was so thrilled when email after email, message after message came, and people GOT IT. THey loved that the story wasn’t “pink”, it wasn’t unrealistic, but it made them feel. It reminded them of themselves, of situations they’d been in, and it gave them hope that they could find something like what Ari had with Wes themselves.

Gorgeous Lose Me. aesthetic created by bestie @tea-books-lover

Of course, there were those who were furious that the characters had to go through any form of pain, and it was expected that not everyone will have the same opinion, but my books aren’t targeted towards these people. If you want a story that will make your brain stop working and fill your cells with sugar, then look away. This isn’t for you.

I recently received an email from a lovely reader, who made me tear up with how well she GOT IT. And in the end, we write for ourselves, every author knows this, but oh, how amazing the feels when a reader actually gets us. (I believe that, deep down inside, we write for this reason as well. We write for the hope that someone will get us. At least I know I do.) Here is part of her email:

spoilers blurred out

find this amazing reader and reviewer here.

And here is an excerpt from my email back:

I believe, from personal experience, that life isn’t all flowers and roses and that people don’t recover from trauma smoothly. I wrote this novel in the middle of losing my dad to cancer, and I wanted it to portray that strength that comes (sometimes) through grief, but also to contain a lot of dad-love and hope for the future. The story itself is based on my own experiences, and on those of the dude, [SPOILER omitted]. Such a [SPOILER] can change your entire personality, but most peopole don’t care about that because they’re used to the usual romance tropes. But I wanted to create a realistic romance, where things go bad, but you overcome them. So the fact that you understood and loved that meant the world to me.

Anyone else with me? Anyone feel the importance of the path to happiness not being smooth? At least in our books, we can help our characters towards a happy ending, whether that means they don’t die in the end or that they end up together with their true love.

That doesn’t always happen in live (it never does), but that doesn’t mean we can’t sprinkle our stories with a healthy does of realism and end up with something truly uplifting, because it feels real.

Maybe, after all’s been said and done, that’s the greatest thing art can aspire to: It feels real, even if it isn’t, and it depicts life while uplifting us, even when life itself does.