L.S. O'Dea's Blog, page 3

Toilet paper, fires and fodder for stories.

**Note: the pictures in this blog were pulled from the web. I did not take them and they are not from my neighborhood.

Yesterday was not a fun day.

It started out fine.

Ran 3 miles (at least my version of running. Plodding slowly around the yard is probably more accurate).

Lifted weights.

Then left to run a couple of errands. (I’m trying to make sure I drive my car every other day so I don’t have issues.)

I went to Walmart and as unbelievable as it seems, I actually found toilet paper.  AND it was the kind that I use (I have a well, so I have to use Scotts since it disintegrates unlike some of the other brands).

I was thinking that my day was going well, really well. Then, I got a notice from the NextDoor app. There was smoke in my neighborhood. (see what I get for taunting fate about a good day?)

I live in a pine forest. This time of year is always a fire danger and this year the weather has been unseasonably hot and dry. Not a good combination when you live surrounded by giant turpentine filled sticks.

By the time I got to my neighborhood, they’d blocked the road leading to my house. At this point, the panic that’d been joining forces in my gut since I heard about the smoke started to spread out to invade and conquer.

My pets were home. Alone. They count on me to keep them safe. They trust me. I had to get home so if they called for an evacuation, we could all go. I couldn’t let them die there alone, waiting for me. Terrified.

That panic was clawing its way through my chest. I couldn’t let that happen. I’ve been through enough of this shit to know that panic didn’t do any good.

The year I bought my house three hurricanes hit Central Florida. I lost my screened-in porch and a good section of my pole barn. A few years later we had terrible fires in my neighborhood. I had to evacuate for a few days. Then, a few years after that we had a  100 year flood. Again, I had to evacuate.

So, suffice it to say I know how to stuff that panic into the bottom of my gut and keep going.

Yesterday, was no different.

I ended up driving around the back way in the neighborhood and luckily for me, the road block was on the other side of my house and I made it home.

Then, I waited. It didn’t take too long before the wonderful firemen were able to put the fire out. I heard on the Nextdoor app that two houses were lost. (I haven’t seen anything today about it, so hopefully it was just a rumor.)

So, day over. Tragedy avoided. I plopped on the couch to watch some TV. It was time to relax and extinguish the panic that still churned in my gut. I opened a beer (it’s a proven method for dampening panic, but don’t have too many or the opposite happens – lol) and my phone pings.

It’s the Nextdoor app again. There’s another fire. This one is on the other side of my house.

The panic cheers, “I’m alive. Alive.”

I wait and watch the app. To the panic’s dismay the firemen once again put out the fire and I called it a night.

Tomorrow has to be better, right?

No, it doesn’t. I can’t control that but I can control how I perceive today.

I was lucky.

My pets were safe. My house was unharmed. Not only was I faced with another challenge and managed to keep functioning but I now have more fodder for my books. Everything authors experience slips into their stories in one way or another. So, savor it all – the good, the horrible and the scary.

Yesterday was a good day.

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Wearing a mask

Note: I’ve changed the names in this post.

On Wednesday, March 18th, my friend’s daughter, Lucy, was sent home from day care with a fever and cough. My friend’s wife, Elizabeth, immediately called the doctor.

The doctor told them do NOT come in and to quarantine themselves for fourteen days.

Elizabeth called my friend, Miles, at work. He called his boss. He was told to continue working. (Not kidding and it gets better)

Miles works for a company that delivers items to large retail stores. Miles’ job is to meet with a team of drivers before they go out for deliveries and again afterwards. That means he sees about thirty drivers who then go out to numerous stores and interact with at least one person. That person then sees customers and employees.

See where this is going?

Well, Miles, trying to do his part and yet, not get fired, put on a mask. Not perfect but it was the best he could do.

He went to a meeting later that day with about eight other managers and they told him, “Take off the mask. You’re scaring people.”

I kid you not.

I was floored when he told me this. And pissed. And then I thought…Wait a minute. I know Miles. He’s a funny guy.

I pictured Miles in his mask.

Or maybe, this.

Perhaps, the managers weren’t as stupid as they initially seemed.

Nah, they were but they did send him home for quarantine a few days later. Probably, when someone higher up the ladder with a brain heard about this.

Take care out there and remember that neither of these masks will protect you but they will help with social distancing.

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I’ll keep the cat

As you know, I have numerous dogs and cats.

I love them all but I have to say that my cat, Catalina, has bubbled to the top of my favorite list.

And that’s something because she likes to grab my leg, arm, whatever she can reach every time I walk by her and sometimes – more often than not – I can feel those claws.

However, after today she’s my favorite.

Why? Two reasons.

First, she’s the only one who says, “God bless you”, every time I sneeze.

I’m not kidding.

Okay, I am a little. I don’t know what she’s actually saying but she does meow when I sneeze. It’s funny. She can be sound asleep and if I sneeze, she meows.

But, the real reason she’s my favorite is that she cleans – no, not just herself and the other cats (lol).

She cleans the litter box.

This morning when I went into the bedroom where I put Jasmine, my semi-paralyzed cat, for breakfast and dinner.there was a huge, disgusting pile of regurgitated wet food in her litter box. (She’s fine. She just had a hairball to toss up.)

I stared at this mess and decided that I’d deal with it later when I cleaned the litter box. I left the room, put the gate up to keep the dogs out (I use a baby gate with a corner cut out so the cats can go into the room but the dogs can’t) and went to work.

At dinner time, I carried Jasmine back into the bedroom to eat and there was no mess. It’d been covered with litter.

I didn’t do it.

Jasmine didn’t do it (being semi-paralyzed and all, she doesn’t get around too well).

The dogs didn’t do it. They can’t get past the gate.

One of my other cats had.

How do I know which one? Well, I don’t know for sure but I have seen Catalina jump into the litter box and cover the other cats’ poop when they don’t do a good enough job.

I kid you not.

She’s my little tidy cat.

Okay, she’s not so little. She’s quite a fatty. She has what the vet calls “small head” syndrome. (LOL – me too)

Now, I just have to teach her to vacuum and dust.

 

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Strange World

As a writer, I spend hours slipping into the heads of others. Trying to figure out how someone else would think and what they’d do when challenged by life.

I try to imagine how life would be in a different world. What would they eat? How would they live? What would be their societal problems?

It’s not easy but readers are willing to suspend their disbelief – to a point.

For example, if we’re writing about a world filled with magic and dragons or human/animal hybrids, the idea that the language would be the same as ours is a bit far fetched. However, unless your Tolkien you don’t create an entire new language and even he knew not to write his books in that language.

But people suspend their disbelief on these little details in order to emerge themselves in the story.

With this semi-apocalyptic world we all find ourselves in, there are many things that authors guessed right — empty grocery store aisles, staying at home, hospitals overrun, etc — but no one predicted the run on toilet paper.

It was too far fetched. Too unbelievable.

If someone had written that, readers would’ve been like – “What? Why? No. I’m not buying that. This virus isn’t like dysentery.”

The TP outage was unimaginable. Illogical.

This next one wasn’t but I don’t think anyone predicted it either. I, at least, don’t recall seeing it in any post-apocalyptic books or movies.

But to get to that point, I need to tell you a true story.

COVID-19 hit home a little too close last night.

My brother and his family have been quarantined for a little over a week. His wife and daughters were sick. He was not.

His oldest daughter was getting over it but his youngest was getting worse.

They tried to take them to the doctor when their fevers first started but were told to stay home and quarantine themselves.

Yesterday, his youngest daughter (she’s one) was just too sick for them to continue to do nothing. So they called and after answering numerous questions about symptoms they were told that they’d get a call back.

They waited.

And waited.

For hours while their baby was sick.

Finally, his wife called the hospital and talked to a RN who told her to take the baby to the emergency room.

It was a scary night for all of us, especially them. Their daughter is so little. Not just because she’s one but she was bore premature and she is still so tiny.

The hospital ran just about every test but the one for COVID-19. I get that. They needed to rule out everything else, plus they could get results from the other tests right away.

She has strep throat.

We were so relieved and happy. I know the relief just washed through my body. I can only imagine how my brother and his wife felt.

But it’s a strange world we live in when a diagnosis of strep is a good thing.

The relief in a bad diagnosis because it wasn’t the worse diagnosis was predictable but many, if not all of us, never imagined it.

We will now.

This virus has opened doors for fiction. It’s given us experiences that we had only imagined.(I’m not pro-Coronavirus, but I do believe in using what I’ve learned — good and bad). It’s forged a new path in my brain of how folks might feel if they are quarantined, sick and scared. It’s also made the unbelievable acceptable.

What do I mean?

From now on if there’s a book about an apocalyptic event the author can imagine a run on shoelaces or carrots or spray paint and bubble gum and folks will be like, “I guess. During COVID-19 people did buy a ton of toilet paper.”

Take care and stay safe out there.

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Home VS Office – today, the office won.

I LOVE working from home.

I actually get more work done in the quiet of my house than our busy office.

If I could, I’d continue to work from home but…

Today, I found a good reason to go to the office (I didn’t but I seriously wanted to).

Dog farts.

Yep. Charlie had the toots.

He didn’t have to poop. Trust me, I gave him many chances but every time I took him outside, he just stared at me, wagging his tail.

So, instead I had to sit in my home office wrinkling my face and giving him dirty looks which he slept through.

I’ll give you one guess where Charlie laid all day.

Yep, right next to me.

I’ll try and remember this when I’m told to start reporting to work again. Maybe, it’ll make it a little less painful (I really, really love working from home) but I doubt it.

Unless that was a constant smell, it’s still better to stay home. Plus, I could always try the clothespin on the nose (not really, have you ever done that? It hurts!)

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I Went Out Today

Work went well today.

My cats behaved themselves. They’ve learned not to mess with me. I’m the boss.

Yeah, right.

They only behaved because I rearranged everything last night so they had their new favorite “spots” free and clear of my keyboard and mouse.

But the big news today is that I went to the store. I go outside twice a day and exercise but I haven’t been out of my yard since last Friday. I know that’s not too long, but remember, you still need to drive your car or you’re going to have issues (so says my mechanic).

I was running low on bologna for my dogs’ breakfast (I feed them a bologna sandwich every morning. And no, they aren’t spoiled at all).

And that meant a trip to the store.

I showered and got dressed in my apocalypse outfit.

No, that’s not right. I haven’t taken archery lessons yet so I had to change.

Closer, but I’ve only every used a shot gun, nothing like this bad boy.

Yep, this is more like it except no mask.

To be honest, I truly think I already had this bug. I was sick a few weeks back. Low grade fever with a horribly sore throat. I’m talking sore like I’ve never had before. I actually thought I might have throat cancer or something – it was that bad.

Anyway, I went to Aldi’s first. They have the cheapest bologna. And because my life just rolls this way, as soon as I drove into the parking lot my one eye started watering. I was fine all day.

ALL DAY.

No cough. No sniffles. Nothing.

I wipe my eye but it just keeps watering. I grab my quarter and get out of my car. I see a young woman who’s almost done unloading her cart. I walk over and say, “I’ll trade you,” while holding my quarter out to her.

She takes one look at my watery eyes and her face gets this look of horror that she quickly tries to hide and says, “You can keep your quarter,” while pushing the cart toward me.

So, if money is tight take some pepper or better yet cut jalapenos with your bare hands, drive to Aldi’s and then touch your eye before offering to take someone’s cart. I bet you’ll also get to keep the quarter.

Have you had any weird experiences during this crazy event? I’d love to hear them.

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Working Around Cats

I’m combining days two and three because yesterday was pretty uneventful. Besides watching the news a couple of times a day, it was my normal Sunday. Catch up on sleep. Write. Edit. etc.

Today, however, was not normal at all.

It was my first “work from home” day and it was great. Mostly.

The good?

I didn’t have to get up at 4 am. Last night when I looked at the time, I was like,

“Damn, it’s 10 o’clock, I’d better get to sleep.” But then I remembered that I didn’t have to get up until six. That was eight hours away. I haven’t had eight hours of sleep since…well, forever it seems. Definitely, since I started writing.

And working in my sweat pants was fabulous. No makeup. No shoes. It was great.

The downside?

Cats.

I have seven. (Yes, I’m clinically insane or would be if I were tested.)

One is partially paralyzed, so she wasn’t an issue and one tends to stay in the kitchen by the food, but the other five. What furry little pains in the ass.

If you have cats, you know that they like to sit on anything new. It can be a piece of paper on the table and one of them has to sit on it.

Well, i had to rearrange my office for my work computer. I did this on Saturday, hoping they’d tire of sleeping on the new desk  which isn’t actually new. It was just moved, but that’s new enough for my cats.

First thing this morning, my hope crashed and burned. I had to constantly shoo away cats so I could work. Every time I got up to get a drink of water or go to the bathroom, I’d come back to Cat-Desk.

One of them, Tim, even went creeping around along the window ledge and pulled down my router. Luckily, I saw him and caught it in time. Didn’t even disconnect me from the VPN. (that was my greatest accomplishment of the day)

I shut down at 4 today and the cats scurried to the desk (picture above and this one).

I’m hoping that tomorrow they’ll find a new interesting place. Maybe, I should rearrange my living room.

What challenges are you finding while you work from home?

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Twisted Treasure Hunt

First, let me say that there is nothing humorous about COVID-19 or this crazy time. However, laughter is good for us and I tend to search for the humor in all situations (sometimes it’s really, really hard to find, but it’s there).

So, I’m going to try and blog daily. Sometimes, it’ll be about something that happened recently and sometimes it’ll be funny stories from my past. Today, it’s a little of both.

Hope my tale of the Twisted Treasure Hunt gives you a laugh.

Years ago, I lived with my sister and nieces in a rather large house. I don’t know the square footage but there were four bedrooms and two baths upstairs, a bathroom downstairs, a kitchen, dining room, living room and two additional rooms that we used for various things over the years.

When I lived there we had many dogs (kind of a pattern for me). Usually, we ranged from 5-7 at any one time (no we didn’t breed – they were all former strays – or get rid of them until we had to say that final goodbye due to health issues).

It was a good life with fun times and it birthed the Twisted Treasure Hunt.

We’d come home after a long day, ready to eat dinner, plop on the couch and watch some TV, but the dogs had other plans for us.

Open the door.

The dogs greet us — all wagging butts and happy faces

And THEN the smell of dog poop slaps us in the face like a disgusting wet rag (who’d have a shit rag lying around, I don’t know).

The hunt begins.

If you remember, I said the house was large and the dogs were of course no help. Once our faces distorted, trying to protect our nostrils, the dogs would scatter (cowards that they were).

We’d have to walk around the house, room-to-room, sniffing. We didn’t want to. Sniffing your way to brownies or lasagna is fabulous but sniffing to find poop? Not so much.

Well, this lovely experience happened to me again yesterday. It’d been years since I’d embarked on the Twisted Treasure Hunt. I was not thrilled to be experiencing it again.

I now live in a much smaller house. I currently have four dogs. Two of which don’t really like to go outside. It’s crazy. I have a HUGE yard. All the other dogs that have lived here, LOVED being outside. My other two still do but not Louis and Charlie.

And these are not little, fu-fu dogs. Louis is about 90 lbs and Charlie is 75 lbs. They look like boxer/mastiff mixes. They should live to run around outside – smell the deer tracks and fox trails, but nooooo. I have to force them to go off the porch and as soon as they potty they are right back up there with noses to the door, waiting to get back inside.

Well, with being home all day, I must’ve not been as diligent about making them walk with me until they peed and pooped.

I woke after a nice little nap to the scent of dog poop. I did a quick look around my oldest dog, Tricks. She has a bit of an incontinence issue so she was the most likely suspect but there was nothing on her bed but her.

So…the hunt began.

I walked around the house, sniffing (and not at all happy about it). I narrowed it down to the master bedroom but I could not find the shit. It wasn’t in the master bath nor near the bed (it’s a huge bed so there isn’t much room for anything else in there).

I was flummoxed. Where was the poop?

And then I turned on the closet light.

I have two large closets and I keep a bookshelf in one of them. On it are – of course – books. Or that’s what’s supposed to be on it. My cats love to push the books off and sit on those shelves.

The twisted treasure was found.

I lost two books. I still mourn their passing but on the bright side, it was pretty easy to clean up and my house no longer smells like shit.

Talk to you tomorrow and take care out there – be safe, be distant.

 

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Virtual Fantasy Convention – Prizes Every Day

I have a booth at the Virtual Fantasy Convention that runs from October 15th (that’s tomorrow) through October 21st.

I’m giving away a prize a day, so stop by.

Click Here to Go to my Booth.

I’ll be chatting about my books, Halloween and anything else you guys want to chat about.

Tomorrow, I’ll be giving away a paperback copy of Conguise Chronicles: Rise of the River Man and a T-shirt.

I’ll also be giving away candy, an airplant jellyfish, ebook copies of all current my books, a paperback copy of Lake of Sins: Betrayed and a $10 Amazon Gift Card. You’ll have to stop by to enter and to see what I’m giving away each day.

And yes, I know that’s only six prizes and there are seven days. I’m still trying to decide on the seventh prize. I’d love to hear suggestions.[image error] [image error] [image error] [image error] [image error] [image error] [image error] [image error] [image error]

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Blogs Are Optional. Do You Have The Time?

Veggies es bonus vobis, proinde vos postulo essum magis kohlrabi welsh onion daikon amaranth tatsoi tomatillo melon azuki bean garlic.

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Gumbo beet greens corn sample link text gourd. Parsley shallot courgette tatsoi pea sprouts fava bean collard greens dandelion okra wakame tomato. Dandelion cucumber earthnut pea peanut soko zucchini.

Turnip greens yarrow ricebean rutabaga endive great link here kohlrabi amaranth water spinach avocado daikon napa cabbage asparagus winter purslane kale. Celery potato scallion desert raisin horseradish spinach carrot soko. Lotus root water spinach fennel kombu maize bamboo shoot green bean swiss chard seakale pumpkin onion chickpea gram corn pea. Brussels sprout coriander water chestnut gourd swiss chard wakame kohlrabi beetroot carrot watercress. Corn bold stuff nuts nori azuki bean chickweed potato bell pepper artichoke.

Nori grape silver beet broccoli kombu beet greens fava bean potato quandong celery. Bunya nuts black-eyed pea prairie turnip leek lentil turnip greens parsnip. Sea lettuce lettuce water chestnut eggplant winter purslane fennel azuki bean earthnut pea sierra leone bologi leek soko chicory celtuce parsleysalsify.