Elizabeth Gilbert's Blog, page 55
July 3, 2014
IT’S HERE!!! Today is the official release of the beautiful new paperback editi…
IT'S HERE!!!
Today is the official release of the beautiful new paperback edition of THE SIGNATURE OF ALL THINGS all across the UK…
You should be able to find it in stores everywhere, or you can order here:
I'm sorry I won't be returning to the UK at the moment for a tour, but it was glorious to meet so many of you when I was there (and in Ireland!) last year.
Thank you all for your love and support, and happy reading!
Heart,
LG
via Elizabeth Gilbert’s Facebook Wall
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July 2, 2014
LEARN TO BE LONELY… Dear Ones — A friend of this page asked me today if I wo…
LEARN TO BE LONELY…
Dear Ones —
A friend of this page asked me today if I would re-post an essay I wrote here last year about how important it is for a woman to learn how to be lonely….
SO HERE IT IS:
I had an interesting conversation this week with a gorgeous, heartbroken 28 year-old woman who was doing my hair. I'd never met this girl before, but we started talking, the way you do with perfect strangers, about love and loss. (Is there any other topic in a hair salon?) She told me that she'd just left her boyfriend of four years because she'd finally had enough — had finally gotten tired of not being treated as something precious. She said, "I gotta go out there right now and get myself somebody BETTER."
I found myself taking her hand (this woman I'd never met before) and saying with the utmost urgency, "But will you promise me first to spend at least six months alone? Will you work your way through this heartbreak before you go replacing anybody? Will you promise to commit to at least six celibate months before you throw yourself at another guy? Will you absolutely swear to it?"
She seemed puzzled, then worried. She said, "But I get so bored and lonely by myself. Watching TV alone at night? I can't think of anything worse."
I said, "I can. I can think of a LOT of things worse. Like, for instance, by this time next month you're already in another relationship with another guy who doesn't treat you like somebody precious. And you put up with his shit just because you can't bear your own company."
Then I told her my theory about how one of the most important things we need to learn in life is HOW TO BE LONELY. We need to learn how to sit through the initial discomfort and panic of loneliness, so we can get to the other side and realize that it didn't kill us. I met a woman in her 50s recently who told me that she won't leave her abusive husband because "I never want to have to walk into a party or a restaurant alone."
Friends, at some point, we all have to learn how to walk into a party or a restaurant alone. Otherwise, we will be willing to walk in with ANYBODY (or worse, walk out with anybody.) We have to learn how to endure our own company and hold our heads high. And sometimes, after enough time alone, we might even learn to enjoy ourselves. And best of all, after enough time and practice, we can sometimes even learn to revere ourselves.
I did not learn this lesson for many, many years. I never let myself be alone for five minutes. I just traded one romantic partner for another, because I could not bear an empty space beside me. Which meant that I was never CHOOSING who to be with; I was just filling in an empty seat, an empty bed, an empty self.
The first time I was alone as adult was in the year leading up to my Eat Pray Love journey. In the space of that aloneness (which was very lonely, believe me) I was finally able to hear my own inner voice. Ultimate, that voice led me on my adventure — all by myself. I remember when I was traveling alone during the Eat Pray Love journey and I crossed this threshold where suddenly I realized, "I am going to treat myself like I am my own amazing boyfriend. I'm going to be SO GOOD to me. I'm going to take me to the most beautiful places in the world. I'm going to say the most comforting words to myself. I'm going to feed me wonderful meals, and buy me wonderful books. I'm going ask me every day, 'What do you need, dear one? What can I do for you?'" And we ended up having an amazing time together — me and me.
Such that, when I finally met the man who treated me exactly as lovingly and as tenderly as I had been treating myself, my heart recognized him and said: THIS IS GOOD. My heart said: THIS IS WHAT WE HAVE GROWN USED TO. Had I not spent that year (two years, actually) alone and practicing self-care, my heart might never have seen it, might never have noticed him, might never have learned what it means to be treated well. I might have looked him over, and gone for a very different sort of man, instead. But once you learn what is good for you, you settle for nothing less. And you can't learn what is good for you until you spend some time getting to know yourself.
So six months, I made that girl promise. At LEAST six months alone, I made her swear. We shook on it. And it was sort of comic — here I was, a perfect stranger, and she was agreeing to my demand that she commit to celibacy for half a year…AT LEAST half a year. But that's, I believe, what even she knew she needed. To be lonely until it didn't scare her anymore. Until she wasn't just throwing herself at the next warm body that came along, out of panic and fear of her own being.
For those out there who have been alone for years, of course, and who fear the opposite (intimacy; risk) this advice probably does not stand or have any meaning. But for those of you who are like I used to be, or who are like this sweet hairdresser — rushing to fill the empty space with ANYTHING or ANYONE…well, give it a thought.
Don't be afraid of yourself, OK? Don't be afraid of the lonely.
Sit through the lonely until you get to the good.
Love,
Liz
via Elizabeth Gilbert’s Facebook Wall
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A lovely photo from last night’s event in St. Louis! Thank you Mary…and thank…
A lovely photo from last night's event in St. Louis! Thank you Mary…and thank you to all who came to share the love!
Photos of Elizabeth Gilbert
Thank you, Liz, for your uniqueness, your candor and most of all for being a friend to us all tonight in St. Louis. You are blessed in so many ways with all of your talents and you share them freely with those that love and admire you.
via Elizabeth Gilbert’s Facebook Wall
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July 1, 2014
Only 2 more days until the paperback edition of THE SIGNATURE OF ALL THINGS arri…
Only 2 more days until the paperback edition of THE SIGNATURE OF ALL THINGS arrives in the UK!
You can pre-order your copy here, if you like:
How do you like the new cover?
Thank you!
LG
via Elizabeth Gilbert’s Facebook Wall
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Good morning… :) LG
Good morning…
LG
via Elizabeth Gilbert’s Facebook Wall
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June 30, 2014
Or you, for that matter. Heart, LG
Or you, for that matter.
Heart,
LG
via Elizabeth Gilbert’s Facebook Wall
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St Louis, you’re up! See you tomorrow night, dear ones! All the details are he…
St Louis, you're up!
See you tomorrow night, dear ones!
All the details are here, plus my full touring schedule:
Elizabeth Gilbert - The Official Website | ElizabethGilbert.com.
Question of the day: DOES RUNNING AWAY WORK? Dear Ones — I wanted to repost th…
Question of the day: DOES RUNNING AWAY WORK?
Dear Ones —
I wanted to repost this question, which I asked you all last year around this time, too…
It's one of my favorite topics, and I'm curious to hear your thoughts!
So I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts the other day (WTF, with Marc Maron) and he was interviewing one of my favorite authors (David Sedaris) and at one point, David said this about why he has traveled so much in his life: "Running away works."
I almost drove off the road, I was so happy to hear someone say it.
You've read my books. You must know by now how I feel about the powers of — at times — running away. I know, I know. Running away gets a bad rap. You get called a coward if you do it. And honestly, I guess sometimes you are a coward if you do it. Because maybe it doesn't aways work, and here are two very sane adages to warn you against it, when you have serious problems to work out:
1) Wherever you go, there you are.
2) You can change seats on the Titanic, but the ship's still going down.
So certainly there are times when you have to hold your ground and face whatever it is you are going through, because if you keep dodging it, you will never be free of it.
BUT…there are other times when, honestly, I think the very best thing you can do for yourself is to run like hell — as far away as you can possibly go. Because there are circumstances in which a change of scenery CAN change your mind. Putting an ocean between you and somebody you really need to stay away from CAN help you to move on healthily. Taking a running leap into the unknown CAN, at times, give you a better chance of learning to fly.
Consider this gorgeous quote, by another of my favorite authors, Rebecca Solnit:
"The bigness of the world is redemption. Despair compresses you into a small space, and a depression is literally a hollow in the ground. To dig deeper into the self, to go underground, is sometimes necessary, but so is the other route of getting out of yourself, into the larger world, into the openness in which you need not clutch your story and your troubles so tightly to your chest."
– Rebecca Solnit, from THE FARAWAY NEARBY
So what do you guys think? Share your thoughts on the virtues and vices of running away. How do those words "running away" even make you feel? Liberated? Tempted? Terrified? Angry? Appalled?
To me, I can't help it, those words carry a dangerously heavenly thrill…and always have.
Some of the most glorious views I've ever seen were in a rearview mirror.
What do you think?
Big love,
Liz
via Elizabeth Gilbert’s Facebook Wall
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Dear London: THE SIGNATURE OF ALL THINGS is coming in paperback to the UK on 3r…
Dear London:
THE SIGNATURE OF ALL THINGS is coming in paperback to the UK on 3rd July….and today begins the publicity campaign for the book.
As of today, you should start seeing this poster at train stations across London and the South of England…so cool!
So look for it during your daily commutes, dear ones, and send me a photo if you should happen to find yourself standing next to a poster. I wish I could be there to see it in person, but the next best thing would be to see YOU seeing it in person!
Enjoy the lovely new paperback design, and thank you, as ever, for your ongoing support and kindness. I loved meeting so many of you in London back in the spring…
ONWARD,
LG
via Elizabeth Gilbert’s Facebook Wall
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