Jessica B. Kelly's Blog, page 26
March 20, 2015
The Transparent Eye
A great privilege held by the antisocial, and in particular, the psychopath, is the ability to refrain from assigning value judgement to others’ lifestyles or proclivities. Sure, many of us feel that a certain degree of gamesmanship is in order, but one can recognize inequalities without placing charged values on the legitimacy of those inequalities. […]
March 19, 2015
Zippermouth
What effect does silence have on the brain? For many with psychological disorders, the ability to speak openly regarding such is compromised. There is great stigma regarding many of the less “cuddly” disorders that ravage many. Few wish to associate with the schizophrenic or the antisocial, for example. So many of us hide in plain […]
March 18, 2015
A Neurotypical Perspective on Remorse
Given that yesterday’s post on remorse blew up my tumblr following, I thought that I’d share the results of a question I asked my therapist. This question was born from the innumerable asks I received regarding other ASPD individuals and whether they were feeling remorse or something else entirely. I was asked if worrying about […]
March 17, 2015
(No) Remorse
I’ve committed a great number of grievances in my lifetime. I’ve stolen, I’ve caused bodily harm, I’ve defrauded, and so on and so forth. Never have I really felt bad about any of these sins though. Well, at least not bad for those that I’ve hurt. I often worry about my reputation and my ability […]
The Lion’s Paw … Trust Revisited
The past couple of weeks have taught me much. The relationship I thought I had with the person I thought it was with is no more, but I have learned much about the nature of trust. For most of my life, I have lived by the creed of “trust no one“. After all, it is very difficult […]
March 14, 2015
Prosocial Relationships and the Psychopath … A Chess Game Without the Use of Rooks
These are strange times. The young woman, that I mentioned in this post, and I have hit it off well enough and I find that I am, as a result, stuck in limbo. My ennui is at fever pitch. She is neurotypical and demands my good behavior, which is not an unreasonable request. However, I […]
March 11, 2015
Tranquilizer
I live hard and fast. A junkie at heart, I’m always seeking the newest shiny object or exhilarating thrill. However, this hasn’t gotten me anywhere. I’m tens of thousands of dollars in debt and relatively unhealthy from years of self-abuse due to being such a junkie. Burning through interpersonal relationships is the norm. Running […]
March 7, 2015
Torture
I’ve said most everything there is to say on the subjects of ASPD and psychopathy at this point. When the sinner chooses restraint, there is only so many insights that can be gleaned. Rather than closing up shop, however, I’ve decided to poke deeper into my own psyche and to write on those experiences that […]
March 3, 2015
Paradox
These are strange times for me. I’ve met a very lovely young woman and we are working to determine what kind of interpersonal relationship we may have in the future. Do I remain honest with her? Do I slip into my deceitful and treacherous ways? At what point do I begin to hold myself accountable […]
February 27, 2015
Exorcism
Everyone wants to cure someone. I remember when I came out as transgender. Various family members showed up at my apartment door and demanded that I reconcile my “sins” with “God”. They gave me religious literature and prayed for me while in front of me. It was degrading though amusing. Of course, I did not repent and […]
