Kyle Michel Sullivan's Blog: https://www.myirishnovel.com/, page 3

Fourth draft done...or fifth, not sure...

Another draft of Blood Angel-volume 3-Revelations is done. It's up to 16,300 words and sets up Léonidès to go looking for Gabrielle. I think I have it as consistent as can be, right now, so I'm going to print up a copy and go through it with a red pen. Then I'll be ready to format it.

No word about the cover art, yet. I may go with this image, which sort of fits the story. It's like Franz coming awake and trying to figure out where he is as Léon fights to wait to turn him. That or Luahl is planning to take Léon for a fun ride.

The thing is with this photographer, 90% of his images are slim guys who are barely of age. Not my type nor right for the story. I lucked out with the first two books.

I should never take a nap during the day. I had a late one that went 2 hours, yesterday, so wasn't tired enough to go to bed till 6 this morning. Now I'm zoning.

I made another Dolly Parton peach cobbler for dessert and now feel quite fat and sassy. And ready for bed even though it's only 10:30. Old man vibes kicking in.

I'm too old to go so fast...

This is one of those days when all the bullshit caught up to me and I'm looking at over more than a dozen things I need to do, other than write, and am just overwhelmed. I wasn't raised in a world that was running at top speed 24/7. And I'm not emotionally or mentally prepared, or even equipped, to handle that. I never have been.

I've got insurance coming up, for both car and apartment, required. I've got to decide on whether or not to have my gall bladder removed, and when to schedule a colonoscopy, and worry about the co-pays. Prep for a packing job in Houston as well as overseeing an archive pickup in Rhode Island. Work out a way to get to Hong Kong in December, and maybe do Seattle in October. Consider if I want to change health insurance, which is fast approaching, because United Healthcare is messing with my prescriptions. Deal with Walgreens being overloaded by new clients from RiteAid and forgetting to fill my prescription.s Work at publicizing my books. Plan out a trip to Taos for my niece's Christmas get-together when I can't really afford it. Deal with my bank's quirks now that I have a credit card with them...and that's not counting what I'm doing online in supporting Ukraine and fighting against the fascism of Felon47's administration.

Shit...looking at that pile of nonsense, I feel like I'm whining. For no good reason. Which I am. So many people have it far worse. It's just...well...what sent me careening into my own little bit of chaos was receiving a stupid calendar of Ronald Reagan from his ranch or foundation or whatever. I never asked for it. Never gave them a fucking dime, and they're acting like we're best buds? That motherfucker is the reason I left the GOP in 1980 and haven't voted for a Republican since. And I'm going to waste a stamp to let them know it.

Silly thing to trigger me in any way, but when I worked at Heritage a co-worker thought it would be funny to sign me up the with GOP by donating a dollar in my name and using the store's address. I'd get mail non-stop from them, no matter how hard I snarled that they should stop...until I got really vicious and began sending them images of W overseeing the rape of American soldiers. Really nasty shit. That shut them down. I'm just wondering if I'll have to do that, again.

I did get a bit of an uplift in a reel I saw on Instagram. A medical professional pointed out all the reasons they think Felon47 is dying of congestive heart failure...and what hit my brain was "Clots and prayers." May he die sooner than later. And I'm not ashamed of thinking that. He's a menace to America and humanity, and the sooner he is gone the sooner we can start dismantling the MAGAt Class.

It's not much of a bright spot, but it's something...

Whoosh...

Did you ever have a day where you wake up and 13 hours later you can't remember a thing you did? I mean, I know I washed my dishes because I left them from last night and now they're in the rack, almost dry.

I know I made enchiladas and rice because I ate some and built three meals out of the rest. I know I intended to go out to get something I needed but can't remember what it was.

And all of a sudden it was dark outside and I hadn't changed out of my sleeping shorts but have been doing something at my laptop all day. Just not working on BA3...

Where the hell did the time go? And what did I do, during it? It's like I stepped into another dimension and just returned.

I've had moments like this happen before, but usually when I'm driving. I'll be on a freeway zipping along and it's like I pass an exit and think I've got another hour's drive ahead and suddenly I'm there. I'd zoned out and would still be driving like it's no big deal. Fortunately, nothing happened to cause a wreck or problem.

This isn't an age thing. I've done it driving between Austin and Houston or San Antonio, along I-35 or I-10, both of which I'm overly familiar with. That would be 40-45 years ago. And I've done this for short periods in my apartment, before, but not this long.

Yet I cannot visualize or even mentally recreate what-all my day has been. It's a bit spooky.

Oh, I just noticed on my laptop my Photoshop is still open and I made a meme about choosing your battles carefully. Okay...I vaguely recall that. But why is there also a jpg of the image of a '54 Hudson on my desktop, along with a number of gifs that are very NSFW? Meaning I was perusing BDSMLR.com.

Man, as if I'm not crazy enough, already...

I'm sick...and not of body...

I did another pass over the ending chapters of BA-3 and made it even more kinky than before. Got some voyeurism mixed into the double rape and vampire feedings...

Excuse me, Blood Angel feedings. I had also thought of adding a final chapter, but really like how this one ends, and so it stays.

I know it's nowhere near as monstrous as some of the other dark erotica I've read. Compared to a few writers I follow, I'm still pretty vanilla. Even with the extra horror I've added to the men's deaths. Too damn much empathy.

So now it's up to 15,600 words, and I've worked in a young man named Willem who will become a duòlos for Léonidès' pack, their familiar who can do the day work. Their current one is being raised to vampire level to be Gregory's partner.

Over the weekend I'll do another pass, then go through with Microsoft's Editor to proof it before adjusting it into proper format. At the moment, I'm using Courier 12 point font, double spaced. I'll shift it to Times New Roman, single space with links to each chapter. Then go through it, again. I've got 10 days, overall, which should be enough time.

I cleared my head by watching The Thin Man (1934) with William Powell and Myrna Loy and had fun with it. It's a Dashiell Hammett mystery, though not on the level of The Maltese Falcon. I think I'll now do After the Thin Man (1936). There were 6 total films in the series, and they're pleasant and funny.

Rewrite #1 done...

Blood Angel 3 is coming together. Lots of small changes and more than a couple of cut-and-paste bits, but it's smoother and more obvious in its meaning.

I've added about a thousand words. And I clarified the whole Oiym council coming to see Franz was the idea of Nethys, the de facto leader, so it's now at well over 14,700 total. I think I'll do another 3 passes on it before hitting it hard for typos and proofing.

It looks like the Houston job is back on. After a lot of back and forth between various people here, Houston and in London, it was decided I'd go down on the 8th and come back on the 12th in time to get cleaned up and ready to hit Newport.

It's all so crazy. The money will come in handy. I have insurance for car and apartment coming due at the beginning of October and planning for a trip to Taos for a family deal at Christmas. Which is going to cost a lot more than I expected, so every bit helps.

Doesn't help my book sales are way down. Not sure why except I'm doing a shit job of pushing them. I have someone handling publicity but not sure how to expand on that, and everyone who contacts me about selling more copies of my books wants more money. I ain't got it to spare.

I'm halfway thinking of lowering the BA series to $0.99 for each ebook, but they're worth double that. Others are selling books of similar length at $4.99 so it's something I'm not doing right. I just wish I could figure out what the trick to sales is.

Whiplash...

Aaaaannnnd, the job in Houston's been postponed to November. Fortunately, I'd bought a refundable ticket so got that back, and canceled the car and hotel without issue. I learned a long time ago to never get anything travel-related that is non-refundable. It costs more, sure, but in the long run it saves your ass in so many ways.

So I will be focusing on getting BA-3 out by Labor Day. I'd hole up in my bed all day, tomorrow, to work on it but I'm meeting people for lunch so have to make myself presentable. And deal with an issue at the pharmacy I use. I tried to get through on the phone but it's one of those times when you get put on hold and then find out there are three calls ahead of you. Easier to deal with in person.

I'll need milk and some other things, anyway, tomorrow.

I'm starting to wonder if Léonidès being so moral and caring works for a vampire story. Not that I can change him, much, at this point. But I could bring out more coldness and cruelty. Emphasize the terror he's wreaking on his choice of victim, even if they do deserve it. 

The two men he and Luahl rape and feed upon at the end of Revelations were part of a group who kidnapped and raped a young woman. Something that is always prevalent in war, even today. The stories about what Russian soldiers have done to women and children in Ukraine are enough to make you despise humanity.

I wonder if that's influencing me in ways I don't really know, yet? Writing Dirc and the Dyarvos Bones (and its precursor, Feeding the Beast) I didn't pay a whole lot of attention to making the guys Dirc and Irin hand over to the alien deserving of it. In many instances, they were innocents. 

But then again, in APoS everything stayed on the humanistic side. So maybe I'm just balancing that out with a touch of the monster in me. I will say it's become more obvious in the last few years...

Fortunately, what a monster requires to break free I'm not willing to do.

Potential delay of BA-3...

Looks like I may be going to Houston for a packing job, depending on the people accepting the costing. It's last minute so everything is more expensive--air fare, hotel, car...and it's leading up to the Labor Day weekend. I'll do what I can, but looks like I won't be able to get BA-Revelations up and ready to go till after I get back.

I am looking into what to do for the avatar. I'd like to keep the current look for this book, so I've asked the photographer if he has any more shots of the intense guy in this photo. I want a single shot, no one extra in it. If he doesn't, I have another manipulated photo I've licensed from him that I could use. It's just more different than I'd like.

So...to put it simply, I have a total of six sections of Blood Angel written in one stage or another.  BA-1 Léonidès and BA-2 The Prussian are available in ebook form. BA-3 Revelations, BA-4 Journey to Compromise, BA-5 War Feasts, and BA-6 New Orleans are in first draft form. BA-7 is still percolating, but it's set in modern times and I have ideas for it.

Once all of them are done, if I was to put them into a paperback format they'd be a good novel length. Not Stephen King length, but solid. Still...that's a ways off. I'll be doing good to get 3 and 4 out by the end of the year...maybe 5. Six is going to be an undertaking...

But I am enjoying it, again, no matter how much I gripe. I like writing gay erotic suspense and horror. Good-looking men in trouble...their virginity threatened and sometimes taken...when they have it.

I guess I've found my niche, and working outside of it isn't going to do me a damn bit of good.

On a side note...

I ran across this photograph and it gave me a serious case of the palpitations. Because he is gorgeous. Dark hair and eyes. Clean features. Cool expression that runs the balance between inviting and standoffish. He appeals to me in ways I cannot explain, because it's not just his beauty. It's the whole aura. I would need to know nothing about him to want to meet him.

But then...after a moment...I noticed little things that were off. His tie's knot is weird. And his belt buckle has no belt. And his ears are not evenly placed. All of which points to the image being AI generated. Maybe part of this new "AI Boyfriend" program going around.

To my shock, figuring that out actually hurt. I'd been so superficially drawn to him, getting to believe he's not a real person I could meet is so very disappointing.

It's funny...but I don't really get that way about men whose photos or films I like. I met David Schwimmer, who I had a crush on throughout Friends, and in person he was fine but I didn't get crazed. Same for Tim Curry and Michael York. Keanu Reeves I didn't really get to interact with, but he struck me the same in person as he had in Speed.

The only time I did get tongue-tied by an actor was when Sophia Loren came by Book Soup's Newsstand to collect Italian newspapers for her husband, Carlo Ponti. And it wasn't just me; the busy restaurant, next door, went dead quiet while she paid. But then...she was fucking gorgeous.

I've seen and met more than a few porn stars, in passing. One notorious one stood behind me in CalFed Bank in WeHo, waiting to deposit a huge number of bills. Apparently he'd danced in a club the night before and that was his tip money. In person, he just looked like your typical college jock, not really interesting...but in photos, totally different.

And when Matt Damon had come into Heritage Book Shop, back when he was with Wynona Ryder, he'd given off the same vibe. Lumpy and boring. But I loved him in the Bourne series.

This guy...if he was real and I ran into him, I'd turn into a teenage girl and make a fool of myself. Which I have done before...like with Clint Black, in Houston...Jesus, forty years ago.

I think I'm more hurt at thinking that could never possibly happen with the man in this image...

Zam-bam-wowie...

When a story decides to be told, it's getting told. Doesn't matter how dark or light it wants to be...and for me, this one got pretty rough. It ends with a double rape and murder by Léonidès and Luahl, but with two young men spared because Léon uses them to dig at Luahl. One is Willem, the other is Franz.

On top of that, when the story's done, it's done. And I do think BA-3 is done, at just under 14,000 words. Right now it's written through to the point where Léon has finalized control over Luahl, which is shocking since he's a member of the Oiym Council so supposedly impervious.

We'll see what happens when I return to do a rewrite after a few days. I'm at the point where I need a bit of space to lessen the connection I have to the story. See it with a clear eye.

BA-4 is already in first draft but it needs a solid rewrite to align it to changes I made in the old storyline. I'd been so sure Léonidès would have turned Franz and regretted it, I filled his journey to track down Gabrielle with references to that. Also, some of the names are wrong. But those are easy fixes.

I had an odd thought come up about The People v. Simon Halloran while fixing lunch. That's how these things happen. I'm focused on doing something manual and all of a sudden up pops a minor conversation with a character.

Simon is wondering how the story would work if, instead of him being a quiet gay man who's gone through life staying out of trouble, he's the opposite? A loud and out gay man who's worked in porn and written books like mine. Or done graphic novels like Etienne or Tom of Finland.

He does approach Paley, wanting to take him back to his hotel room and service him after sketching him, and it goes downhill from there. The fight would be over homophobia being so solid a part of the system of justice and an attempt to put a faggot in his place. I'm not sure about that, but it is something to consider.

Never say never...

One chapter left...

...For a solid first draft of Blood Angel-3. I'm leaning towards the subheading being Revelations, because Leòn finds out more about not only Franz but also about Luahl, one of the Oiym. It involves a young French peasant named Willem, whom Luahl plans to feed upon, but which Leòn messes up.

This image of a French peasant purports to be from 1870, yet I get the feeling it's really later...like 1900 at the earliest. Still, it shows how strong Willem must be in order to handle the work of his family's farm, and how he's dressed. And he is Luahl's preferred victim type.

The man does like to needle my guy and thinks he's found a way to really fuck him over...but it don't happen like that. Because Leòn don't take to being picked at.

Which led to something else happening in this part of the story that I was not expecting. Something I have never even thought of putting into a book. But Leòn does it without a thought...and I'm still processing it. Especially since it gives him a bit of control over Luahl.

The chapter that's left to finish is mainly wrapping up loose ends and setting the stage for Leòn to go looking for Gabrielle with his proposition. That part of the story is already in first draft form...as is its followup.

The part set in New Orleans after Katrina is in screenplay format and centers around Gabrielle, so I'm not sure how to work with that, yet. But I have time. The next two sections will need some reworking to fit in with the new direction of the story.

But first of all is getting Revelations in order to publish. As of now, I'm at over 13,000 words...and will probably add another 2000. That's an acceptable length for a novella. I may even take some of the beginning of BA-4 and add it to the end, because that one is on the massive side.

But no matter what, it looks like I may get this done by the end of the month.