Kyle Michel Sullivan's Blog: https://www.myirishnovel.com/, page 181
April 15, 2017
Sometimes I do all right...
After my whiny rant, yesterday, I sat myself down, today, and worked on A65 right through to the end. No major rewriting done but lots of notes and shifting of sections and at least a better handle on the story. Now all I need to do is input these changes, print out another copy and go through the whole thing, again.
What I did was a surface bit of work, but it at least got me going on it, again. There are a couple of spots where I let Casey or Adam just tell some of their history, and that's not quite proper, yet, but I do think with this next draft I'll have the spine of the book set.
What's interesting is how things have changed from the screenplay. Like Casey's reasoning for insisting Adam accompany her to the premier -- she has him done up nice to make Lando jealous. That's her intention, anyway...but it doesn't quite work out that way, thanks to Jeremy, the archive's resident photographer.
I do still like the growing symmetry in various bits, and the little reversals that pop up, every now and then. I guess it helps that I got a solid 8 hours sleep and had no reason to leave the apartment...though I did make cornbread. Just to snack on.
It seems sales of all my books have stopped, dead. So far I've sold a total of 5 copies since the first of April. Could it be due to tax season? I hope?
I'm not paying mine. I don't want to give that SOB in the White House one more penny to spend on his fucking golf game. Actually, I'll pay them when contacted by the IRS, so we can work up a payment schedule. Draw it out.
Maybe he'll resign before I have to sign over a penny.
What I did was a surface bit of work, but it at least got me going on it, again. There are a couple of spots where I let Casey or Adam just tell some of their history, and that's not quite proper, yet, but I do think with this next draft I'll have the spine of the book set.
What's interesting is how things have changed from the screenplay. Like Casey's reasoning for insisting Adam accompany her to the premier -- she has him done up nice to make Lando jealous. That's her intention, anyway...but it doesn't quite work out that way, thanks to Jeremy, the archive's resident photographer.
I do still like the growing symmetry in various bits, and the little reversals that pop up, every now and then. I guess it helps that I got a solid 8 hours sleep and had no reason to leave the apartment...though I did make cornbread. Just to snack on.
It seems sales of all my books have stopped, dead. So far I've sold a total of 5 copies since the first of April. Could it be due to tax season? I hope?
I'm not paying mine. I don't want to give that SOB in the White House one more penny to spend on his fucking golf game. Actually, I'll pay them when contacted by the IRS, so we can work up a payment schedule. Draw it out.
Maybe he'll resign before I have to sign over a penny.
April 14, 2017
I should never discuss my plans or thoughts...
It seems the moment I do, something happens to screw them up. I haven't worked on A65 all week...well, since Monday. I don't know why. I just haven't. Can't get the enthusiasm going that I had...or need. Can't get the interest.
Don't read, either. Or sketch. Anything. I just wander through facebook and twitter and the news and Tumbler and achieve nothing. And now I'm whining about it. In a low-key way, granted, but still...
God, I don't understand me. It's like somewhere deep down inside me I don't want to succeed and I throw up roadblocks and shift moods to make sure of that. And that's what I'm doing, right now. Told myself as soon as I got home I was going to dive into my rewrite...and it's now 5 hours later and not one red mark added to the printout.
A65 needs work, but it's a fun story. It's fairly mainstream -- nerdy straight boy is used by hurt straight girl but in the end, it all works out and they have an HEA. I like the idea of it. I like the characters. I've even tweeted about it. But now I'm having to fight myself to work on it.
Hell, I'm having to fight myself to write this stupid little post. It's pathetic. And now I'm coming up on a busy couple of weeks of travel -- Boca Raton, next week, and friggin' Oklahoma City the following. Both set up in ways I did not want -- hopping a 5:30 am flight to Boca so I can start working the second I get there because the powers that be did not want to pay for an extra hotel night, and packing OKC within time constraints that are just ludicrous, even with 3 assistants.
I have another job I'm working up a quote on where the owner of the library thinks you can pack 2000 books in a day or two. Yeah, if I bring in 10 helpers. Oh, but can't we do it for $1.98, total? Two jobs we bid on dumped us because they wanted something cheaper...and one was for 7 books that were valued at $150,000. It would have cost $1200 to do pick them up, pack them and ship them, total...not even 1% of their value...and that's too much. Stupid.
Bitch, whine, and complain. Maybe I'm just tired. Maybe I just need a break. Two weeks of nothing but watching movies, reading books in bed, eating crap and drinking wine. Slob city.
I could deal with that.
Don't read, either. Or sketch. Anything. I just wander through facebook and twitter and the news and Tumbler and achieve nothing. And now I'm whining about it. In a low-key way, granted, but still...
God, I don't understand me. It's like somewhere deep down inside me I don't want to succeed and I throw up roadblocks and shift moods to make sure of that. And that's what I'm doing, right now. Told myself as soon as I got home I was going to dive into my rewrite...and it's now 5 hours later and not one red mark added to the printout.
A65 needs work, but it's a fun story. It's fairly mainstream -- nerdy straight boy is used by hurt straight girl but in the end, it all works out and they have an HEA. I like the idea of it. I like the characters. I've even tweeted about it. But now I'm having to fight myself to work on it.
Hell, I'm having to fight myself to write this stupid little post. It's pathetic. And now I'm coming up on a busy couple of weeks of travel -- Boca Raton, next week, and friggin' Oklahoma City the following. Both set up in ways I did not want -- hopping a 5:30 am flight to Boca so I can start working the second I get there because the powers that be did not want to pay for an extra hotel night, and packing OKC within time constraints that are just ludicrous, even with 3 assistants.
I have another job I'm working up a quote on where the owner of the library thinks you can pack 2000 books in a day or two. Yeah, if I bring in 10 helpers. Oh, but can't we do it for $1.98, total? Two jobs we bid on dumped us because they wanted something cheaper...and one was for 7 books that were valued at $150,000. It would have cost $1200 to do pick them up, pack them and ship them, total...not even 1% of their value...and that's too much. Stupid.
Bitch, whine, and complain. Maybe I'm just tired. Maybe I just need a break. Two weeks of nothing but watching movies, reading books in bed, eating crap and drinking wine. Slob city.
I could deal with that.
April 10, 2017
Symmetry happens...
So I'm going through A65 adding in notes and thoughts and details before I continue with my re-re-re-re-rewrite...and it suddenly hit me that I've got a nice bit of symmetry going...without meaning to. In the initial story, there's a party at Lando's home that is...bizarre, to say the least. But along the way, since expanding the role of Adam's seat-mates en route to LA, another party jumped in to counterpoint Lando's. And helps Adam, a lot.
Man, I like how alive the story is beginning to seem, now. How natural and yet surprising. Still a bit too slick but with potential. It's following its path...but Adam keeps getting shoved off into little side roads that increase the meaning of what's happening to him. At least, I think so.
However, I may be too old-fashioned to really make this story as wild and crazy as I want. I tried that in The Lyons' Den and found that, even though I took that one as far as I could, it was still a bit on the conventional side when all was said and done.
But...there is still a fair amount of controlled chaos in that story. I'm trying to get away with that, again, in A65. I don't want to add events just for the sake of stirring the pot; I want them to be endemic to the story...which may be why my writing is still a bit too careful. Maybe I shouldn't be so locked into the A-B-C of plot and just let something happen.
That is how Alice's Adventures in Wonderland goes. It's a dream of bizarre events but it follows it own madcap sense of logic that has no logic. Maybe I need to stop being so controlling and just let it rip, in this one.
You never know till you try...[image error]
Man, I like how alive the story is beginning to seem, now. How natural and yet surprising. Still a bit too slick but with potential. It's following its path...but Adam keeps getting shoved off into little side roads that increase the meaning of what's happening to him. At least, I think so.
However, I may be too old-fashioned to really make this story as wild and crazy as I want. I tried that in The Lyons' Den and found that, even though I took that one as far as I could, it was still a bit on the conventional side when all was said and done.
But...there is still a fair amount of controlled chaos in that story. I'm trying to get away with that, again, in A65. I don't want to add events just for the sake of stirring the pot; I want them to be endemic to the story...which may be why my writing is still a bit too careful. Maybe I shouldn't be so locked into the A-B-C of plot and just let something happen.
That is how Alice's Adventures in Wonderland goes. It's a dream of bizarre events but it follows it own madcap sense of logic that has no logic. Maybe I need to stop being so controlling and just let it rip, in this one.
You never know till you try...[image error]
April 9, 2017
More than halfway...
Well over, in fact. I'm at page 146 of 246 total pages in this latest rewrite of my rewritten rewrite that's in need of rewriting. The point where Adam is about to sneak into the back yard of Lando's home in order to help Casey...and, of course, things don't go as planned. Do they ever?
There are still sections that aren't nearly as defined as I want, yet, but now that I'm finally getting a tighter grip on the story and the characters, as well as the tone and POV, I can start massaging my style to make it more interesting. I hope. But that won't come once I've settled everything else down.
I watched Stairway to Heaven after I'd reached my saturation point on A65. It was made in 1946 and stars David Niven, Kim Hunter, Raymond Massey and Roger Livesey...and is in both color and black & white. It's about a British bomber pilot at the end of WW2 who's shot down and his parachute is destroyed. As his plane is crashing, he connects with an American radio operator, gives her his last messages and jumps from the plane...only due to a nasty English fog, death loses site of him and he survives. He finds the radio operator, and they fall in love, but now Heaven wants to complete his "contract." He fights back by appealing his date of demise...as doctors operate on him to repair a brain injury that could kill him.
The story is all over the place, but David Niven, as the pilot, and Kim Hunter, as the radio operator, anchor it. In fact, there are moments when Niven should have been onscreen when he wasn't, like during his trial. I can also see storyline references to The Devil and Daniel Webster, Here Comes Mr. Jordan, Heaven Can Wait, and A Guy Named Joe. It's interesting that Heaven is presented in black & white while Earth is color.
It's been years and years since I've seen this film, so long ago I don't remember if it was in a theater, on VHS or it played on TV. I halfway think it was in Houston and I rented a tape of it from a really great video store just off Montrose and Westheimer. Not sure...but it feels right.
Hmm...I just had a feeling that something major is going to happen in the next few days. What it is or even to whom, I have no idea. It's just...a weird sense of...shit, I dunno what. But when I watched Star Trek, last night, there were moments where I thought, "I've seen that before," even though I haven't seen the film. Most were near the end...like the overhead shot of the Starship tracking the attack pods through the space station while under a long pool that had a transparent basin, so you could see the ship passing.
It gave me such a massive sense of deja vu, I checked the movie's trailers to see if maybe it had been in one that I've seen...and nope. Not that shot. I don't know what to make of this...it's just, when I've had them, before, it's meant a major change in my world...like my mother dying or me moving to LA before I'd even thought about it.
I just hope it's a good one...
There are still sections that aren't nearly as defined as I want, yet, but now that I'm finally getting a tighter grip on the story and the characters, as well as the tone and POV, I can start massaging my style to make it more interesting. I hope. But that won't come once I've settled everything else down.
I watched Stairway to Heaven after I'd reached my saturation point on A65. It was made in 1946 and stars David Niven, Kim Hunter, Raymond Massey and Roger Livesey...and is in both color and black & white. It's about a British bomber pilot at the end of WW2 who's shot down and his parachute is destroyed. As his plane is crashing, he connects with an American radio operator, gives her his last messages and jumps from the plane...only due to a nasty English fog, death loses site of him and he survives. He finds the radio operator, and they fall in love, but now Heaven wants to complete his "contract." He fights back by appealing his date of demise...as doctors operate on him to repair a brain injury that could kill him.The story is all over the place, but David Niven, as the pilot, and Kim Hunter, as the radio operator, anchor it. In fact, there are moments when Niven should have been onscreen when he wasn't, like during his trial. I can also see storyline references to The Devil and Daniel Webster, Here Comes Mr. Jordan, Heaven Can Wait, and A Guy Named Joe. It's interesting that Heaven is presented in black & white while Earth is color.
It's been years and years since I've seen this film, so long ago I don't remember if it was in a theater, on VHS or it played on TV. I halfway think it was in Houston and I rented a tape of it from a really great video store just off Montrose and Westheimer. Not sure...but it feels right.
Hmm...I just had a feeling that something major is going to happen in the next few days. What it is or even to whom, I have no idea. It's just...a weird sense of...shit, I dunno what. But when I watched Star Trek, last night, there were moments where I thought, "I've seen that before," even though I haven't seen the film. Most were near the end...like the overhead shot of the Starship tracking the attack pods through the space station while under a long pool that had a transparent basin, so you could see the ship passing.
It gave me such a massive sense of deja vu, I checked the movie's trailers to see if maybe it had been in one that I've seen...and nope. Not that shot. I don't know what to make of this...it's just, when I've had them, before, it's meant a major change in my world...like my mother dying or me moving to LA before I'd even thought about it.
I just hope it's a good one...
April 8, 2017
Back on track...
I spent today adjusting and cutting and re-emphasizing the 4th and 5th chapters of A65...and it works better. It took me a while to work in the little reveal of how Adam looks once Orisi's done with him, but I think it still has the right effect. I left in him getting stoned without realizing it, and I expanded on his arguing against staying the night. Increases his disorientation.
There's a fair amount of restructuring to do in the next four chapters, because that's as far as I got in adding in Casey's POV so it's not so bad, really. It'll just take some time and care...and attention. And I'm finding I pretty much get wiped out on this story after 5-6 hours at it.
It'd funny...I say I trust my characters, but by paying more attention to Casey than to Adam, for a while, it took him slamming on the brakes and nearly killing the story before I heard what he was telling me. Which turned out to be right. Tolstoy can shift from one character's inner world to another's without trouble, but I'm no Tolstoy. Doubt I ever will be. I guess that's why I prefer to work in first person; it's an absolute POV as opposed to an omniscient one.
I finally had dinner and watched Star Trek: Beyond...and found it only barely interesting. Jeremy Sisto is still a great Spock, and Karl Urban and Simon Pegg do well as Bones and Scotty, but I'm not a huge Chris Pine fan, and the script sacrificed originality for pacing...and complete coherence. Too many easy outs for characters in danger mode, and one shift in the villain that made absolutely no sense to me. Oh, well...
Tomorrow I'm watching something classy -- like Out of the Past or Stairway to Heaven, both of which are phenomenal.
There's a fair amount of restructuring to do in the next four chapters, because that's as far as I got in adding in Casey's POV so it's not so bad, really. It'll just take some time and care...and attention. And I'm finding I pretty much get wiped out on this story after 5-6 hours at it.
It'd funny...I say I trust my characters, but by paying more attention to Casey than to Adam, for a while, it took him slamming on the brakes and nearly killing the story before I heard what he was telling me. Which turned out to be right. Tolstoy can shift from one character's inner world to another's without trouble, but I'm no Tolstoy. Doubt I ever will be. I guess that's why I prefer to work in first person; it's an absolute POV as opposed to an omniscient one.
I finally had dinner and watched Star Trek: Beyond...and found it only barely interesting. Jeremy Sisto is still a great Spock, and Karl Urban and Simon Pegg do well as Bones and Scotty, but I'm not a huge Chris Pine fan, and the script sacrificed originality for pacing...and complete coherence. Too many easy outs for characters in danger mode, and one shift in the villain that made absolutely no sense to me. Oh, well...
Tomorrow I'm watching something classy -- like Out of the Past or Stairway to Heaven, both of which are phenomenal.
April 7, 2017
Completely misdirected?
Tonight was spent in a low-key battle with Adam over A65, where he finally let me know he's not happy with what I'm doing in the book. He says it's his story, and he thinks I should keep his perspective throughout instead of trying to make it more commercial by bringing in Casey's POV, as well. And truth is, the shift to her after following him for three chapters is ... jarring. Hence the awkwardness of their meeting and such.
And the difficulty I'm having finding a balance with Casey as I try to keep from revealing too much of what she's planning while letting out her thoughts and concerns...and memories. Which is what Adam's been nudging me about. He doesn't care that it's being told in 3rd person; he just thinks I should let the reader find out what's going on as he does.
Which means a fair portion of what I've written for Casey would go into the trash. Which pisses me off and depresses me. And makes me kick myself for not seeing this sooner. Or considering it. Because my gut says it's right. Dammit. So nothing got done, tonight, and now I'm verging on whine mode.
I'll deal with this crap, tomorrow.
And the difficulty I'm having finding a balance with Casey as I try to keep from revealing too much of what she's planning while letting out her thoughts and concerns...and memories. Which is what Adam's been nudging me about. He doesn't care that it's being told in 3rd person; he just thinks I should let the reader find out what's going on as he does.
Which means a fair portion of what I've written for Casey would go into the trash. Which pisses me off and depresses me. And makes me kick myself for not seeing this sooner. Or considering it. Because my gut says it's right. Dammit. So nothing got done, tonight, and now I'm verging on whine mode.
I'll deal with this crap, tomorrow.
April 6, 2017
Dammit, stop throwing crap at me!
I'm at that stage in my story where the characters are coming up with nonsense just to mess with me. Like Casey suggesting she wants to change the reason she takes Adam to the premier and the after-party. Doing it her new way would change everything that follows and make her into a real bitch. NOT gonna happen.
Same for another character who wants to dance with Adam in the middle of a bar, which diminishes the moment when Casey and Adam dance, later. It's like they're angling to see who can get the best bits thrown in for themselves, no matter what the rest of the story demands...and I hate it when they pull this crap.
And love it. I now have my white rabbit and dormouse characters...albeit merely indicatively. And it does add to the madness of Adam's world. So who knows? I've got my own insane process and it seems to work out in the end.
Of course, this may all be moot. Czar Snowflake (the POTUS whose name I will not speak) has attacked Syria. Apparently after warning Russia that he would. Meaning Russia warned Assad and they made sure there was minimal damage from the $70m worth of cruise missiles we sent. Makes the Czar look good, in his mind and in the diseased brains of his vermin followers. But...this could easily lead to the apocalypse, in which case there will be no one left to read my books and all will be for naught.
Maybe I should try to build a time capsule to be found 10,000 years from now, when the next masters of the universe reach that point of civilization.
Same for another character who wants to dance with Adam in the middle of a bar, which diminishes the moment when Casey and Adam dance, later. It's like they're angling to see who can get the best bits thrown in for themselves, no matter what the rest of the story demands...and I hate it when they pull this crap.
And love it. I now have my white rabbit and dormouse characters...albeit merely indicatively. And it does add to the madness of Adam's world. So who knows? I've got my own insane process and it seems to work out in the end.
Of course, this may all be moot. Czar Snowflake (the POTUS whose name I will not speak) has attacked Syria. Apparently after warning Russia that he would. Meaning Russia warned Assad and they made sure there was minimal damage from the $70m worth of cruise missiles we sent. Makes the Czar look good, in his mind and in the diseased brains of his vermin followers. But...this could easily lead to the apocalypse, in which case there will be no one left to read my books and all will be for naught.
Maybe I should try to build a time capsule to be found 10,000 years from now, when the next masters of the universe reach that point of civilization.
April 5, 2017
18 Chapters...
At the moment. And more rearranging done. I have a feeling the book will still wind up being about 62,000 words...which is short, for me. But it's rolling along despite my best efforts and I'm seeing ways to make it smoother and clearer. I'd say the next draft I input into Word will be good enough to be considered a first rough draft. When I go through that one, then I'll be ready to start a second draft.
It took me a while to get going on the story, this evening, because I didn't like Casey's introduction. I liked that it was set in her attic as she's watching the CCTV monitors of security cameras all over her property, but it was too deliberate. I danced around it and banged my head against it and moaned about it for a couple hours before finally realizing she wasn't up there to watch her mother arrive with Adam and get the reaction of the paparazzi twins who've been stalking her; it's a place she goes to just zone, with the images on the monitors like white noise to her. She's caught in memories, at the moment, and it's Adam's arrival that breaks her out of them.
I'm trying to find low-key ways of showing she has not left her home in nearly two weeks, due to her breaking up with Lando. Having Patricia say it was just too obvious. Lando can comment on it because he makes it all about him, but he's not there till the premier. And I don't think Casey should admit to it till she knows Adam a lot better. Maybe over the Mac & Cheese they share. So I'm just slipping in hints and nudges, so far...and not completely satisfied.
I'm still using Eliza Dushku as my personification of Casey. She fits her too perfectly. Hope she doesn't mind. I consider it a travesty that she wasn't invited to the 20th Anniversary shoot for Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. She was a solid part of the show and made a huge mark on how it went.
I still like the idea of Russell Tovey as Adam, but after watching the few episodes of Quantico that I could stand, he's too charismatic a persona for it. The ease with which he blew better-looking actors away on that show was a case study in what it means when the camera loves you.
Matthew Lewis is better; he looks like someone who could start out awkward and turn into a prince. And yes, I know, I'm talking about a book not a film project...but I still think in images, and I'm trying to make that work in a narrative format.
Like lots of other, better writers have been doing for centuries.
It took me a while to get going on the story, this evening, because I didn't like Casey's introduction. I liked that it was set in her attic as she's watching the CCTV monitors of security cameras all over her property, but it was too deliberate. I danced around it and banged my head against it and moaned about it for a couple hours before finally realizing she wasn't up there to watch her mother arrive with Adam and get the reaction of the paparazzi twins who've been stalking her; it's a place she goes to just zone, with the images on the monitors like white noise to her. She's caught in memories, at the moment, and it's Adam's arrival that breaks her out of them.
I'm trying to find low-key ways of showing she has not left her home in nearly two weeks, due to her breaking up with Lando. Having Patricia say it was just too obvious. Lando can comment on it because he makes it all about him, but he's not there till the premier. And I don't think Casey should admit to it till she knows Adam a lot better. Maybe over the Mac & Cheese they share. So I'm just slipping in hints and nudges, so far...and not completely satisfied.
I'm still using Eliza Dushku as my personification of Casey. She fits her too perfectly. Hope she doesn't mind. I consider it a travesty that she wasn't invited to the 20th Anniversary shoot for Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. She was a solid part of the show and made a huge mark on how it went.I still like the idea of Russell Tovey as Adam, but after watching the few episodes of Quantico that I could stand, he's too charismatic a persona for it. The ease with which he blew better-looking actors away on that show was a case study in what it means when the camera loves you.
Matthew Lewis is better; he looks like someone who could start out awkward and turn into a prince. And yes, I know, I'm talking about a book not a film project...but I still think in images, and I'm trying to make that work in a narrative format.
Like lots of other, better writers have been doing for centuries.
April 3, 2017
Bumps in the road...
Okay...Chapter 4 is good but Chapter 5, where Adam and Casey meet, is awkward and stumbling. I've got the elements I want in it but they don't connect, yet. They just happen. Seem forced. And I still shift POV between her and him, even in 3rd person; gotta find a nice middle ground in that.
I think I may need to reverse a couple of things -- give some of Casey's actions to Patricia, and work more on how Vincent forces Adam to stay overnight in LA; it's too easy, just now, and Adam's reaction is not panicky enough. A fair bit of work. And to think I only have two dozen more chapters to go through with this rewriting...though I doubt it will be all that many when I'm done. I hope.
I posted The Lyons' Den on Amazon in Kindle. It should be available in the next couple of days. I'm not doing well on selling it and as much as I prefer Smashwords, they don't have the network or reach of Amazon...and I want the story to be read. I've been trying to get an accounting of how many copies sold when it was with STARboks Press, but they ignore my requests for information. I guess they think I'm out to audit them, or something. I'm not; I just want to know.
I've got a couple of articles on how to use Twitter and Pinterest and SnapChat to sell my books, so may do some of it with A65. Seems half the battle is how you promote it prior to publishing, which is a bit late for my other works. I already do a little promotion of my work on Facebook...but that's so 2014.
Problem is, I'm still too 1999.
I think I may need to reverse a couple of things -- give some of Casey's actions to Patricia, and work more on how Vincent forces Adam to stay overnight in LA; it's too easy, just now, and Adam's reaction is not panicky enough. A fair bit of work. And to think I only have two dozen more chapters to go through with this rewriting...though I doubt it will be all that many when I'm done. I hope.
I posted The Lyons' Den on Amazon in Kindle. It should be available in the next couple of days. I'm not doing well on selling it and as much as I prefer Smashwords, they don't have the network or reach of Amazon...and I want the story to be read. I've been trying to get an accounting of how many copies sold when it was with STARboks Press, but they ignore my requests for information. I guess they think I'm out to audit them, or something. I'm not; I just want to know.
I've got a couple of articles on how to use Twitter and Pinterest and SnapChat to sell my books, so may do some of it with A65. Seems half the battle is how you promote it prior to publishing, which is a bit late for my other works. I already do a little promotion of my work on Facebook...but that's so 2014.
Problem is, I'm still too 1999.
April 2, 2017
First chapters are the hardest...
So far only Chapter One needed serious reworking (and still needs tweaking and proofing; I can't believe how many typos I found in a read-through today). Chapters Two and Three are in decent shape, since that's where the story starts getting going. I've tried to find another way of beginning Adam's tale, but jumping in when he connects with Patricia, Casey's mother, at the airport felt awkward and having him be told he's going on the trip as the beginning was too...I dunno...unimportant.
I like beginning with Adam's normal day and giving just a hint that something will wind up wrong about it. Then introduce some characters who will come into play, later. I also like how it connects Adam to where he works and how much he loves it; that becomes important, as well, so I think laying the groundwork, here, is good.
Initially, I was jamming way too much information in at the beginning, as is my usual practice. I start out afraid the story won't make sense unless I do, then calm down with each successive draft. I could probably do a bit more removal...and have already decided on a couple of thing that didn't need to be detailed, yet...so it's getting there.
I also had a huge synopsis of Ilithium 4, the movie Casey starred in, that was completely superfluous...and would actually have been problematic. The Alice '65 should parallel Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, in a vague way, but talking about the movie and the book it was based on and the book the book was based on shifted the whole emphasis in ways that were confusing...so out it came.
I did get bits of the movie in, however, because even though Adam does not want to watch it, he has to in order to keep the brat in the seat next to him asleep. If he turns the movie off, the brat wakes up and looks like he might vomit on him, again. So Adam is forced to endure watching a hideous film adaptation of a book he loves...twice.
But at least it introduces Casey well before he meets her and sets up just how beautiful she is.
I like beginning with Adam's normal day and giving just a hint that something will wind up wrong about it. Then introduce some characters who will come into play, later. I also like how it connects Adam to where he works and how much he loves it; that becomes important, as well, so I think laying the groundwork, here, is good.
Initially, I was jamming way too much information in at the beginning, as is my usual practice. I start out afraid the story won't make sense unless I do, then calm down with each successive draft. I could probably do a bit more removal...and have already decided on a couple of thing that didn't need to be detailed, yet...so it's getting there.
I also had a huge synopsis of Ilithium 4, the movie Casey starred in, that was completely superfluous...and would actually have been problematic. The Alice '65 should parallel Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, in a vague way, but talking about the movie and the book it was based on and the book the book was based on shifted the whole emphasis in ways that were confusing...so out it came.
I did get bits of the movie in, however, because even though Adam does not want to watch it, he has to in order to keep the brat in the seat next to him asleep. If he turns the movie off, the brat wakes up and looks like he might vomit on him, again. So Adam is forced to endure watching a hideous film adaptation of a book he loves...twice.
But at least it introduces Casey well before he meets her and sets up just how beautiful she is.
