Kyle Michel Sullivan's Blog: https://www.myirishnovel.com/, page 173

Long day...

Dealing with health insurance and a doctor's office not talking to each other or updating their files is exhausting. 9 times out of 10 you wind up arguing with someone who thinks that know what they're talking about but doesn't, yet insists they're right and you're wrong. I read through most of a 200 page book detailing my insurance coverage, today, to make sure I was right...and finally I got hold of a guy at Blue Cross who put me on hold, asked someone about it, and acknowledged I was being over-billed by $100 due to them not updating their system.

Didn't help the billing department of the doctor's neglected to notice the error, even though it was blatantly obvious and not at all like they claimed. And they never did admit their error, nor are they willing to take my word for it that they've over-billed me. Blue Cross has to get them new paperwork before they will adjust anything.

So I wound up with a blinding headache. I got it down to a normal level (it's just now gone away) and hit the post office just before closing, got groceries, printed out a new copy of A65, had dinner at Panera Bread and came home, then watched a Miss Marple Mystery to get my mind off it all. And...I sorted paperwork while on hold with Blue Cross, so not as many piles of paper on my desk. But I was in a state.

At least I got A65 out to a few more people to read, so I'm up to an even 12. It's kind of light fare for the GoodReads group I'm part of, but I may ask, anyway. I figure the wider my net for reaction, the more likely I'll listen if they all tell me to change something...no matter how much I hate the idea...unless I hate it so much I refuse and decide to accept the consequences.

I still have a lot to do, tomorrow, but I'm hoping the worst is out of the way.

Don't know what to do...

I spellchecked and grammar-ized A65 and have it out to 10 people, so far, for feedback. And now I'm going through that blank period I always have after a push like this...wondering what the hell to do, next. As if there weren't a hundred things that need doing. Paperwork. Classes to figure out this too-too sensitive laptop. Hell, starting back on my research into Derry for Place of Safety.

Instead I'm bingeing on Agatha Raisin mysteries, on Acorn and stuffing myself...albeit with decent food. Of a sort. I did stir-fry enough for two meals and ate both of them. All vegetables -- zucchini, squash, green beans, carrots, green pepper and onion over rice. I was hungry.

I guess tomorrow is time enough to get back to real life. I will need to do some running around; I'm out of peanut butter and almost out of milk.

Now back to Agatha...

Done

The Alice '65 is input. 304 pages, 65,750 words. I'm going over it, tomorrow, with spell check and grammar check, which will take time due to the way I write, but that's it. I now need the feedback. I'll send it out on Monday and hope it's not too big a disaster.

I say that because whenever I feel good about something I've written, the feedback slaps me around, hard. It's a necessary process, but I'd rather it come across as good instead of needing more work. We'll see how it goes. For all I know, it won't make a damn bit of sense to anyone but me.

Truth is, the fates like to beat up on me whenever I start feeling good about anything -- like my finances or my car or my health. The second I let anything positive creep into my attitude, life smacks me down. My car's now making noises that can't be good. My youngest brother in San Antonio is back to needing money so he won't wind up homeless. Perfect timing, that, considering Hurricane Harvey. And I got a bill from the doctor's office for $130 that doesn't make sense, but I can't talk to them about it till Monday.

I guess I should just accept that I'll be screwed over till I die, since that's how a lot of my life has been...much of it thanks to my own actions. Actions that seemed right at the time but were actually pretty damned stupid, in retrospect.

Good example -- going into film. I was an artist in San Antonio. I sold some of my work. Did commissions. Free-lanced and did okay. But then I decided I wanted to be Alfred Hitchcock and shifted to a career that I was not suited for. And then when things went my way, despite me, in order for me to do better in film, I either didn't see them till it was too late or got contrary and refused them.

Perfect example, my parents lived in Glendale when I graduated from Trinity University. I could have come to LA and started working in film and stayed with them till I was on my feet, but no. I kept working at a bookstore and decided to go to graduate school. Why? It did nothing but postpone my life. It was stupid.

Then I got accepted to NYU and threw a hissy fit because they wanted me to do the full 3 year graduate course instead of letting start in second year. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

So here I am writing books and now nervous as hell I've screwed that up, too. I've got one review on Amazon for OT, and that's of no use to me. Nothing else. And I've been both blistered and praised for some of my other work. So I dunno...

Maybe I'm still dumb.

Not a lot done, today...

I made it through one whole chapter after dealing with a Dr's appointment and questions about a bill they'd sent me and a pharmacy that didn't refill a prescription I'd asked them to refill on Monday and issues with my youngest brother, in San Antonio, and grocery shopping and preparing for a couple of jobs next month. I guess I'm lucky I got that much done.

So...in September I have packing jobs in Chicago, Syracuse area, and England. Then come Key West, and the Seattle Book Fair, in October...and a couple more possibles. I like doing the jobs, but I also want to shift focus to Place of Safety, and this will make it awkward. I've got lots of books to read and reread, so I can keep going with those, on the plane. It's the videos that will be problematic; I've found WiFi in hotels doesn't really like to do any streaming.

Still...I only have 70 pages left to input for A65, so I should have it ready when I said I would. I'm still trimming and condensing and clarifying, as I go...and I'm sure I'll do a lot more of that once the feedback comes in...but I am at the point where I like how it's going. I think one thing leads to another, naturally, and the characters do their arcs in a way that is believable. I doubt anyone will notice this only takes place over the space of two days, with a coda later in the week.

Not that it matters; what counts is if they accept it.

Twitter proves its worth, to me...

I was having a hell of a time finding the right way to describe something Adam uses to trick Lando into revealing he has Casey's book...and damned if a twitter user didn't happen to pop up with the right word -- Quire.

I looked it up on ILAB's glossary and here's the definition -- "When used by binders or bibliographers, this is synonymous with a gathering or section. To a paper-maker it means one-twentieth of a ream of paper. It is also used in the trade more generally as a measure of extent, as ‘x quires’." (John Carter)

And Twitter also led me to this lovely commentary about celebrity and the lack, thereof, being a curse to those who crave it. A Tassel to the Purse of Merit. Not sure if I see myself as Byron, Shelley, Chatterton, or Polidori...not that it matters. I have my own claim to fame.

I've been banned...twice in three years...and fought them back, something not even Byron can boast of.

I guess I'm picky...

So I got this lovely new Mac Book Pro, thanks to Caladex; it was partially paid for as a bonus for all the work I did on the West Coast. And it's nice and shiny and fast and all that...and it's driving me nuts with its quirks. The pad is so sensitive, if I brush over it wrong, it changes pages on me or expands the page I'm looking at and then will not let me make it smaller, again. The keys are tight against the board and sensitive, so if I hit too close to one as I'm typing, I suddenly wind up with two letters -- like gt or vb -- so I'm doing a lot more correcting.

Something else -- everything I post on it goes onto the Cloud, which I'm not 100% crazy about. I don't necessarily want every friggin' photo I have on there; most of them are crap. But I have to specifically take them off so I don't use up space with junk. Same for documents; I don't want a letter I work up to send to the IRS or my insurance posted on the Cloud, but there the damn thing is.

I like it for its speed on the internet, and I can do my financial stuff on it, thanks to it being a lot safer, but I'm seriously thinking of returning to my old MacBook to do any work in Word. Just like I use my Mac Mini for photoshop. Maybe I should take some classes in using the damn thing so I can reset its sensitivity...but have only just begun to have the time to do that.

Friday I have a doctor's appointment about noon. After that, I may drop by the Apple Store in the Galleria and see what classes they have, next week, to help me gain control of this critter. I feel like I'm driving a Ferrari so need to up my skills behind the wheel before I do a crash and burn.

Sometimes improvements are not what they claim to be.

Day trip...

I drove to Stockbridge, MA to the Norman Rockwell Museum to look at the original of his painting, Southern Justice (AKA: Murder in Mississippi) and came away haunted not only by the power of the piece but also how poorly it was treated. Not just by the museum, which had it in a back room next to the famous Ruby Bridges painting (The Problem We All Live With), but how it was dismissed by its creator and how "Look Magazine" didn't even use it.

"Look" used this abstract study by Rockwell as the illustration in its story about the KKK's murder of 3 civil rights workers...and it's awful. It's got the basic pose down, but the young men are semi-human blobs facing hints of shadows. The focus is soft, unreal, more a Goya-like impression than the sharp, precise painting above. The whole idea of this hideous slaughter of innocent people is diminished by that choice, and is close to inexcusable.

I know Rockwell thought the anger had gone out of the final product, but oh my God was he wrong. Andrew Goodman lies on the ground, dying, in pain, and the detail of his hands gripping the earth as he tries to live is chilling. Michael Schwerner holds James Chaney and looks at what he knows will be his killers...and while his face is stoic and his pose almost submissive, the expression in his eye holds pure terror mixed with disbelief. And his grip on a bloody and dying James Chaney, who's desperately fighting to stay alive, is stronger but more shaken, not semi-heroic, like in the study.

This shows why artists cannot decide for themselves how their work will be perceived. Nor can their curators, apparently. No prints or pictures are offered for sale of this painting. Nothing but a post card was available. I guess I can sort of see why. People like how Rockwell sugar-coats things.

Look at the Ruby Bridges painting -- it's a horrible event made palatable by the cute dress, stoic attitude of the child, and 4 faceless men stiffly posed in suits marching in step to protect her. The only jarring note is a smashed tomato on the wall next to a soft rendition of the N-word. Not one of the people hurling hate at her is seen, not even their shadows. But you can buy a dozen different size posters and pictures and lithographs and refrigerator magnets of that one.

I think Southern Justice is Rockwell's best work. I looked over everything and nothing else he did has the power and depth of that painting, nor did anything else affect me like this one. And just to add to the indignity...the museum was having an exhibit of Andy Warhol's works -- with his litho of Richard Nixon to the left of the painting, as if mocking it -- and James Warhola's illustrations for SF books and "Mad Magazine"...and The Garbage Pail Kids having more play and interest than this image.

I never paid much attention to Norman Rockwell, before, but Southern Justice has elevated him in my esteem.

Taking a break...

I'm making a quick trip to Stockbridge, Massachusetts and will be home, tomorrow evening. That gives me two solid days away from writing on A65, even though it really doesn't. As I drove, ideas kept coming to mind and another logical aspect I needed to address made itself known...but for the most part, the story is set, the characters are set, and the action is in its preferred order.

I also think I'm being overly descriptive in the first chapter or two. I need to be careful about that. I tend to put a lot into the beginning because it's important to the end, but that usually turns off a reader so I'm trying to get out of the habit.

And yet, I need to establish at least the idea of Adam's life before he heads for LA...which happens by page 25 in the current form, meaning about page 14 or 15 once I have it reformatted. And truth is, everything in the first two chapters keeps recurring or being referenced in the rest. So maybe I'm being too critical.

I'm trying to avoid a tendency I'm seeing in more and more mysteries and TV shows where the twist is more important than the story's logic. I like Vera, for example -- a British mystery show set in the Newcastle area of England -- but the last one of Series 3 was ludicrous. One murder is committed by striking the victim with a car, then that car is found and tested and it proves who the killer is.

The problem with this started when the killer found the victim at just the right time in a dark area with no traffic as she's walking, alone. Very coincidental. But then the car didn't have any damage, afterwards. None. If you hit someone hard enough to kill them, things are gonna get smashed -- windshield, headlights, fenders, hood -- hell, you can dent those things just by leaning on them wrong. And that was just one of a half-dozen logic issues in the show. Hinterland, which I don't really like, is the same thing....just with low-rent David Fincher style.

I had a couple of issues with parts of Porno Manifesto working out way too easily. It was lazy writing, but I could get away with it because it was also filled with sex and attitude. However, I cannot do that with A65...Adam's world collapsing around him has to make sense and work out in ways he comes to appreciate.

Again, for example...I have Julie and Manny (parents to the brat who vomits on Adam, in the plane) and Orisi showing up in the most unlikely of places, but I still make it kind of logical. Like how Julie and Manny decide to start pub-hopping in a bar across the street from the premier Adam's attending because Orisi told them about it and they wanted to see how Adam turned out.

Once again, one thing leads to another and another and another and boom -- I've got another crazy-assed story...and I do love that.

I just want it to be a logical crazy-assed story.

Another pass completed...

I finished yet another red-pen over The Alice '65, looking for typos and inconsistencies and ways to make the story clearer. Now I'm going to let it sit for a couple days then input the changes...and then it's done, for now. I need to start getting responses to it and see if it's working. It does, for me, but that means little, at this point.

And I just had an idea to add to the ending. Dammit. And yet, not dammit. I can still work it in, and it takes care of a logical issue I was trying to ignore.

I want to give my apartment a major overhaul, now. Maybe rearrange my furniture, what little I have. Throw things out that I'm not using and condense the space taken up by my tables and desk and bookcases. My place is nowhere near balanced in a Fung Shui style. I never did really work out the best way to furnish my place; I just put things where I could get to them, easily.

Oh man...I'm getting a headache...time to sign off the laptop...

Ready for one last pass...

I got to the end of another draft of The Alice '65, and it's printed up and ready for a final pass with my red pen. Then inputting and finally...feedback. I've got about a dozen people ready to read it and let me know their thoughts. Here's hoping I'm not so close to the story I've churned out a piece of crap.

I've adjusted the Chapter marks on a few points. Sometimes the book tells you when it's time to shift to a new one, and the A65 did that, throughout. And changing Adam's actions in the last couple of chapters helps, a lot. And I think I've spread both his background and Casey's through the story more, so it's not all one lump. Should make it an easier read.

I had another idea for the bit leading up to the final confrontation in the jet, so wound up with 66,500 words over 306 pages. Funny how my ideas tend to expand a story instead of shorten it. Once it's condensed down from double-space and put into book format, with title and table of contents and such, it'll probably be around 200 pages...maybe 210. That's still a nice average for a book.

I binge-watched Season 3 of Vera, to clear my head. Six hours worth. It wasn't available on Acorn so I sprang the $7 for it...and I really like it. The mysteries are just okay; it's the rapport between Vera Stanhope and her sergeant, Joe Ashworth, that makes the series work so well. Like mother and son. Nothing like that in the last 3 series, with Aiden...and I think it's all on the actors playing the roles. David Leon was accessible and somehow carried a deep background as Joe; Kenny Doughty doesn't have that depth or kind of silent openness.

Still...I'm thinking of buying the series on DVD.