Kyle Michel Sullivan's Blog: https://www.myirishnovel.com/, page 144

Hard day...

I slept rough and woke a few times with cramps in my right leg...possibly from standing too much. I don't know. So today wasn't the best for me. I tried to get some of UG reworked but mostly piddled, going through boxes of paperwork and crap...until I found an old picture I'd torn out of a magazine.

When I described Reg, I thought I was going off a photo I took 4 years ago, in London, of a guy on the Underground. He's the one who got the whole book started, the way he was sitting there, exhausted beyond belief. It built into this story...and now that the book is in a real form, I can see I was using another man I'd met, even years earlier, as the true description of Constable Reginald Brewster Thornton -- a guy named Pavel Novotny.

FWIW -- Pavel was a Czech porn star about 16-17 years ago. That, in and of itself, isn't such a big deal; I was living in LA and that town was full of them. I'd see them at the gym I went to, clubs, a private movies premier, you name it. And I saw Pavel when I was collecting my mail at the West Hollywood Post Office. On a rainy Saturday morning.

He drove up in a Land Rover. Parked in the 15 minute zone. Came inside and got his mail then sorted through it on a table...and I stopped cold. He was wearing a Gansey sweater, brown corduroy slacks and looked exactly like his photos...no, he looked better. Something about him radiated innocence and awareness. I went all fan-girl and said something dumb like, "Hi, I like your work." He smiled at me, said, "Thank you," in a vaguely Bela Lugosi accent, and left. And I think I giggled.

It was finding his photo in a jacket and black t-shirt that made me realize he was the image I had built of Reg, in UG. So I did this sketch. It's sloppy, but it seemed to set me right and I got to page 177 of the polish. I also cut out about 8 pages and may put them in, later, but not sure where, yet.

He stopped doing porn and got married, years ago...yet I still think of him, now and then...even more than I realized. Which is funny, because he's not my type. And yet...I wish I'd had a chance to do more than make a fool of myself. Talk with him. Learn more about his reality.

I'll be changing my cover to use his face...and this is the first step...

Polishing up the first draft...

I've started going over the first draft of UG just to clarify some parts and make sure things are consistent before I print it up and do a red pen draft. I know I made changes later in the book that aren't supported earlier, and it's easier to work that up now than to mess it up with unnecessary notes.

I also watched an episode of Vera to make sure I was getting what little I do with police procedure right, in the UK. I should have gone to Prime Suspect, not because Vera was bad but because Britbox did the irritating thing of leaving the commercial titles on the video and for a short period the streaming was interrupted. I'm done with them.

I thought of shifting to FilmStruck to watch movies because they've got lots of classics and are working with Criterion, if I understand their spiel right. But 3 out of the 4 movies I checked on weren't available through them...things like Come Back, Little Sheba and La Dolce Vita. I'm not spending $11.00 a month and not getting everything I want.

Anyway, another reason I do a printout of my writing to make corrections is so I have a physical copy where I can make notes of things to add, not just put them in a folder and reread them and try to remember where that is in the file. I separate each chapter with a divider, just like in high school, and bounce around that way.

This is how I worked A65 and how I started working APoS. I'll go through this draft, input the changes and print it up, again, then set it aside and work on getting a first draft of APoS done. My goal is to have that one set up for rewriting by the end of the year. UG I'm aiming to publish around Thanksgiving.

I set goals...can't say I don't that...

First draft of "Underground Guy" is done

I don't know if what I did was right...or sneaky...or weary...or lazy...but I finished the last page of the book at a point where it really felt like it wanted to end. By adding three lines to one character's dialogue, I was able to drop the last chapter I was planning to write. Completely. I fought over it with myself and the characters for half an hour, trying to make myself gear up for it...but finally I agreed it was the right thing to do.

I did add in Devlin's idea of what happened, in contrast to the official line, so there was no confusion. I made it a bit snarky to keep it from being too simplistic and drab...and may go deeper into it on the rewrite...but I do think most of it comes across as the story progresses, so is easily wrapped up.

Something else I did was leave the relationships a bit open-ended. Let the reader decide for themself what happens next. I indicate what I think does, but it felt right not to say anything specific. But I do like how Devlin and Reg and Tawfi wind up...and since they're not bitchin' at me for doing it, they must like it, too.

Right now, the book is 418 double-space 8 1/2 by 11 pages in 12 point Courier, and 95,500 words. I have no idea what that translates into when shifted to an 8x5.5 format with 10 point Palatino and 1.25 spacing...nor do I want to know, yet. There will be many rewrites to take out repetitions and remove details that are no longer valid and arrange details that need to be in there and shift some bits forward and trim and add and on and on...so that issue would be moot, at the moment. But that all said -- I met my goal to have a first draft done by the end of the month.

I feel very good.

Last chapter left to do...

Looks like UG will be about 420 pages and just over 100K in words. I know who the killer is and why it was done, now have only to complete the revelation and denouement. Of course it's going to need a number of rewrites to make it consistent and sensible, but this is the first step. It's so much easier to rewrite than to write.

I did my usual thing of alluding to the whys and wherefores of the murders without having the villain tell you what it's all about, but since the Metropolitan Police are the main investigators in this I was also able to build a better sense of what's going on. I think I've got a pretty good mystery going, here, but you never really know. The main thing I'm concerned with is the development of Devlin's character from that of an animal to a caring human being. If I succeed at that, nothing else matters.

I know some people will look at this book and assign it to pornography because of the sex, and that's fine. If they can't see beyond the surface, they aren't worthy of the book or the characters. I grant that sounds arrogant, but I've got 3-D people in here, I know it. Not just Devlin but Tawfi and Reg and Colin and Diana and the rest, each with their own story and meaning.

I never really got this sort of satisfaction from writing screenplays. They are too dependent on others' interpretations of what was going on with the characters...and while that could be thrilling, at times, it could also be soul-destroying. Writing a book means I'm in control of what fills the page and the reader's mind, and when my characters trust me, I know it's right, no matter what.

It's hard to keep that sensibility. We argue and fight and don't talk to each other and play games on each other, but that's part of what makes it so much better than working up what is basically the outline of a story that's dependent on others to make it work. I hate the process even as I love it, get depressed by it even as I gain new highs. I can't imagine going back to writing scripts.

So I've broken with that past. I donated my collection of Hitchcock DVDs and books to the local library to do with as they wish. This was a big step for me. He was the reason I started down the path to film; it's fitting I remove him now that I've carved a new path. It was hard to do, but I feel lighter for it.

Decades lighter....

Closing in...

If all goes well, I will have a first draft of UG by this weekend. I've just headed down the last dive of the roller coaster, where Devlin find himself face to face with the murderer and is threatened with death. I had to stop because I now have two directions I can go with this...and each one takes me to a different killer. So comes the time to figure out who did what, where , how and when.

I know it's in the story...hell, three possible killers are hinted at in what I've written, so far. I know who I want it to be...but I have to go by what the story demands. I just hope we're in sync.

Something that came up today was a new reason for the story to be told. Devlin is coming to terms with not only the brutality of his father and the fact that his mother was killed by the man...but that the man was a beast who offered him nothing in the way of love or support. He brutalizes men to take out his anger...but also uses sex to become one with them, if that makes any sense. In the deepest part of his brain, his rapes are a way of him making love.

Shit, that sounds weird...and maybe too convoluted. Maybe I'm digging a hole that can't be filled. It's possible. I've written other stories where I think I know what I'm aiming for and find out I missed the mark by not focusing on the right aspect of it.

The Lyons' Den falls under this category. I halfway think I went too far in making Tad an asshole, because that hurt Daniel's character for wanting to get back with him. I believe I sensed it so threw in a memory of when Tad treated Daniel like a king, and he was holding onto that...but that made Tad so three-dimensional, it was hard to portray him as a selfish prick in the end.

Of course, there's also Bobby Carapisi...where I thought I was finished when I completed the first two books, but something was missing so I finally had Eric get Alan to tell his side of things, and that is what made the story complete. If I'd been listening to it better, I'd have seen that and gone with it at the same time as the first two. Still, it's complete, now, and is my #2 seller...even though it is long.

So UG is getting the opportunity to let me know who it wants to be what, and what it's all about...and that is as it should be...

Interesting new discussion with my characters...

Having Devlin suddenly identify with one of the murder victims in UG has cause a massive shift in the story. I'm not sure what direction it's taking, and I like that. I like how parts of it keep hiding in shadows and won't come out till they're damn good and ready while other parts twist themselves into having new meanings and want to nudge me in wild directions.

Like the chewing gum -- it's going to be found in the car Hanlon was taken in, indicating he knew they were going to murder him and put it there in hopes the cops would at least find his killer. Devlin nearly has a psychotic break when he learns of it, because he knows Reg was putting him in that sort of harm's way to try and catch the monster doing this, and he thought Dev was that monster, for a while.

The tension this brings about is exhausting as I try to keep up with it and use it properly...and fight with myself to keep from shutting it down. I portray Devlin as a beast satisfying both his need for revenge and his carnal needs, at times. As Reg point, he thinks he's King of the jungle, take his pick and choice. And it's added layers to the story that are shaking me up as much as when I wrote HTRASG...11 years ago.

Brendan's watching and smiling, telling me, We're gonna go through this, too, you and me...and it's gonna be way more fun --

Oh, shit...I just had another idea...

Long day...

I drove to Rochester to be part of an anti-Kavanaugh rally in downtown. Not quite a hundred people showed, as did about 20 anti-abortion protesters. Speeches were made, including one from a Rabbi who said, per Jewish law, if a mother's life is endangered by a pregnancy then she has to abort, because her life is more important. I think he referenced Deuteronomy but I'll have to double-check on that.

Anyway, I was driving home when I realized I'd left my phone at the Planned Parenthood table, called about it, the organizer had it so I turned around and went back. It's irritating that I'm at the age where everything has to be attached to you so you don't lose it.

I wound up having dinner at Sticky Lips, in Rochester, which is okay BBQ but not really even as good as Bill Miller's or Rudy's, in Texas. Then en route home had some ideas for UG...including one on how to kick Devlin in the gut over what he's done...maybe make his change of heart about his actions believable.

He's done some digging, found some odd links between Griffin Faure's company and the murders and is called in to explain himself to Sir Monte, the man running the murder investigation. Dev has seen bad broadcast editions of the CCTV images of the killer but still noticed the legs on two of them don't seem to match -- one set is stocky, the other looks thin, though it could be from the angle of the camera.

They show him clean CCTV videos from all four murders, including one where the victim was known to be getting onto the underground but never got off and wasn't seen, again, till his body was found. Devlin notices another man who was only slightly connected to the murders following the victim.

This opens up a new avenue for the police to investigate. They hadn't checked to see if the victim came back out of the underground station instead of taking the train because his Oyster pass card wasn't scanned for exit. So they check CCTV...and find him exiting the station, putting a piece of gum in his mouth and crossing the street...and Devlin goes into shock.

He's remembering all the times he did the exact same thing -- came out of the subway in NYC, popped some gum and headed off to a meeting. Now he's seeing this man who he knows will be brutally killed within the hour doing it...a simple little action and it brings the horror home to him...so hard, he nearly crashes into madness.

Once I arrived I input them...and now have over 93K in wordage...and am on the downhill sloe to the end -- woohoo!

Coming along...

UG s now over 91K in wordage and shifting and twisting as I go. I feel like I'm closing in on the ending, and still think I know what it will be...but new directions keep popping up and ideas work their way in on how best to handle the information Devlin is getting about the murders. He's just opened up a new line of inquiry for the police to follow simply because he had a meeting with a man who wasn't supposed to have been involved in the mess. Now the guy's being brought in for questioning.

Devlin's also still being a devil because he's working at seducing Reg by telling him he's not trying to seduce him...and it's beginning to work. Despite what happened only a week earlier. I don't know how I feel about that, but I'm not refusing to let it happen. It's like he's out to illustrate Aesop's fable about the farmer and the viper:

One winter a Farmer found a Viper frozen and numb with cold, and out of pity picked it up and placed it in his bosom. The Viper was no sooner revived by the warmth than it turned upon its benefactor and inflicted a fatal bite upon him; and as the poor man lay dying, he cried, "I have only got what I deserved, for taking compassion on so villainous a creature."

It's thought this story eventually became about a frog and a scorpion. From Wikipedia --

A scorpion asks a frog to carry it across a river. The frog hesitates, afraid of being stung, but the scorpion argues that if it did so, they would both drown. Considering this, the frog agrees, but midway across the river the scorpion does indeed sting the frog, dooming them both. When the frog asks the scorpion why, the scorpion replies that it was in its nature to do so.

So am I going to suggest that Devlin will not change his ways? Is that what this is about? Or will it take more than mere guilt for him to see that what he's done in the past is wrong, not only legally and morally but humanly, despite his justifications? I honestly do not know.
I guess I won't till the book is done.

Slowly moving forward...

Only 5 pages added to UG, today. I reworked some of what I wrote yesterday to plug in more questions about Tawfi's connections to the murders...and some of Devlin's conniving. He's just spent hours working with a techie at Tawfi's embassy then had dinner (and some fun) with the man and is now heading back to his hotel...
-------------------

I walked away, remembering to go left then right, and found myself on Sloane Street. A look around showed me a building I knew was across from the station, so towards it I went. This area was made up of really high-end shops that closed by seven, so next to no cars on the street. Nor foot traffic. The fog was getting thicker, but that actually lightened my mood, because I started thinking of The Wax Museum, with big bad Vincent Price. ...

I was closing in on Brompton Road so jaunted onto the street to pass some scaffolding and --

I got grabbed around the neck and yanked back to behind it like I weighed nothing, but I twisted and rolled and slammed the guy against a store window, shattering it as he held onto me and swung me against the wall, so I dug in my pocket for my nail clippers and we crashed across the pavement as I pulled them out and he was choking me and something flashed and I used my sample case to deflect it and shifted the file around and jabbed him in the wrist and arm around my neck and he jolted and grunted but still held on and --

“Hey!” was screamed at us.

The guy bolted to his feet and kicked me into the gutter and ran.

A moment later Reg appeared. “You okay, Pope?”

I looked at him, confused, but managed to grunt, “Yeah!”

He raced after the bastard.

I staggered to my feet and could just make out that Reg had reached Brompton and stopped and was looking both ways. He threw his arms up, in anger, then jogged back to me. I heard the whine of a siren approaching. Reg and the squad car reached me at the same time.

Two cops piled out, one barking, “What’s happened?”

Reg showed them his ID and said, “This man was attacked. Looked like a mugging.”

“You all right, sir?”

I checked myself. Saw no blood. A few scratches. But a nice slice through my coat. “Shit,” popped out of me. “Motherfucker ruined my suit.” And there was a hole in my case.

More cops came, Reg gave them a description in more detail than I could have -- taller than me, dressed in gym pants, jacket with a hoodie, weighing about 100 kilos. They roared off, but I didn’t expect them to find anything; the fog was getting thicker by the minute.

I was taken to a nearby police station, made a statement along the lines of, I got no idea what happened, then Reg popped me into an unmarked car and drove me back to the hotel.

It took my brain fifteen minutes to catch up to me and realize we were alone before I finally said, “What the fuck?”

Reg glanced at me. “Yeah, what was that?”

“You think it was the same guy as jumped me, the other night?”

“Could be.”

“You don’t think it was a mugging?”

“The lads do.”

“Why were you there, anyway? I thought you were on leave.”

“I am. Officially.”

Oh, shit... “Sir Monte’s got you workin’, on the sly. Tailin' me.”

He glared at me. “Boss...has me keeping an eye on you.”

“He doesn’t trust me.”

“Why should he?” he shot back. After a moment, he added, “You were in that embassy for twelve hours.”

“Prince Tafiq didn’t show up till nearly five, and you know where he was.”

“So what were you doing?”

“Buildin' trust. Gettin' info. Findin' out what I could.”

“And...?”

“I don’t think Prince Tafiq's your man.”

“Boss says you said that.”

“He was involved with Perriman for months, but all of a sudden he’s killin' men who look like him? And not just any guys, but guys who can be linked back to the embassy? Plus Tawfi’s dumb enough to leave behind DNA?”

“Toffee? He’s your sweets, is he?”

I huffed a laugh and spelled the name for him, adding, “I think he’s being set up.”

Reg glanced at me and said nothing more till we were at the hotel and he’d seen me up to my room. As I was opening my door, he said. “I dunno if I should tell you this, but...we think he was being blackmailed, your Toffee. By Perriman.”

“Why do you think that?”

“A couple big deposits were made to his checking, over the last six weeks. Routed through a dummy company owned by Kahyr.""Prince Tafiq's company..."
"Yeah. We’re wondering if the first three men were killed just to mix up Perriman’s murder. Like Agatha Christie does.”

“Jesus,” popped out of me. I actually felt ill. “But there’s some business deal goin’ on between him and The Faure Group, so this timin’ seems all off. Unless they’re the ones pullin’ something...”

“Oh, bloody hell, are you some conspiracy freak?”

I laughed. “No, I don’t think 9-11 was inside job, or that there was a second gunman at Kennedy’s assassination. But I’ve had dealings with The Faure Group and I wouldn’t put anything past them.”

“So you said. Yesterday’s conference was between them, Kahyr, and three other companies -- Seluruh Dunia, Quan Shijie and Ves’ Mir. So far just seems to be a normal partnering of people working on oil and gas exploration. Spread the costs.”

“But not the profits. Right.”

“All nice and normal.”

I shrugged and started to enter the room, then stopped. “Seluruh Dunia -- that sounds familiar.”

“Based in Singapore.”

“Griff’s wife’s from Singapore.”

“Second one, yeah. But a British expat. Her Da’s high up in the company.”

“You boys have been diggin'.”

“Same as you have. Gotta cover every corner.”

I nodded. “Come on in; let’s discuss this some more.”

Reg stayed in the hall. “After what happened last time?”

I looked at him. “I’m not gonna try anything with you.”

He shook his head, his eyes locked on me. “No.”

I stepped back out of the room and closed the door. He took a wary stance.

“Reg,” I whispered, “are there cameras in my room?”

He hesitated then said, “Just mikes.”

“Then come on in; make your report from here.”

“Why?”

“I...I just like bein' around you.”

“Why!?”

“I don’t know! But...but ridin’ with you in the car, I felt...I felt safe.”

“Well, you’re back here, now; I’d not leave, again, were I you.”

He started away, but I grabbed his jacket sleeve. “Y’know, you liked the kiss.”

He pulled away but didn’t look at me. “You got me by surprise.”

“Reg...you liked the kiss. I could feel it.”

His breathing grew faster. “What'er you up to?”

“Come back in. Let me show you...”

“What -- your candy boy wasn’t enough for you, tonight?”

“You have his apartment bugged!?”

“No! But it don’t take much to figure.”

“Well that’s not what I want, right now. I just want to be with you.”

“You wanna turn me queer, like you.”

“No!”

He shook his head, fighting himself, then backed away, whispering, “You are a devil.” Then he spun and stormed away.

I watched him get on the elevator. Watched it close. Heard it whisper away.

And I chuckled, thinking, I’ve got him.

Slowed down a bit on UG...

I'm at 333 pages and just under 90,000 words...and Devlin, being a little devil, is playing with Reg's confusion about what was done to him. That sort of came out of nowhere and is really not nice...but damn, it fit. I guess naming him Robert Devlin Pope was more deliberate on my part than I thought.

Tawfi's also done something I wasn't expecting. He's taken more than a sexual liking to Dev and is trying to get him to agree to be...not his slave so much as...hell, his pet. Like the beginning of a male harem? Maybe? I dunno.

I have no idea where it came from or what game Tawfi's playing, yet. But an associate revealed Tawfi knows he's under police surveillance and is acting accordingly. Is he working himself up to be the killer? Is he setting Dev up to take the fall? Damned if I can figure out what he's up to.

But that's the way it works...at least, it should work for a murder mystery. I remember seeing an Al Pacino film -- Sea of Love? -- where he's a cop investigating a serial killer murdering men who answered a personal ad in the paper. This was back way before Craigslist or Grindr. The main suspect was Ellen Barkin...who does everything she can to keep suspicion on herself. Of course, she's not the real killer...but the only clue to say otherwise was so tossed aside and flat out ignored, it infuriated me when it came up. Ruined the movie for me.

Of course, so did the inconsistency in the ending. All of the dead men were found nude and in bed, but Al's cop winds up being attacked by the killer in the same way...and he stays fully dressed. Can't have your star showing off his ass, I guess.

Anyway, I want lots of clues but lots of red herrings, too. Maybe too many, if one review of OT is to be believed...but his complaint stems from a deliberate choice I made. I wanted Jake to have to face down issue after issue after issue at the end, because that's how it works in reality. When homophobes are beaten back from hitting from one direction, they come at you from another and another.

And Jake had to show he was ready for them all...and he did...