Kyle Michel Sullivan's Blog: https://www.myirishnovel.com/, page 101

Regression...

Finally got my wifi put in...and an hour after the tech left, it started fucking around on me. Kept dumping me. So I tried to contact Verizon but could only get their robo-voice responder and had to go through all their prompts before I could even leave a message to have a real person call me. Which I did. And I did get a call back...3 hours later...and got put on hold, for ten minutes before he came on the line.

Seems rebooting the router helped clear up the issue. I'd have done that, but on my old router, there was an on-off switch and this one doesn't have one. Apparently, you have to unplug it, wait 30 seconds, then plug it back in. Shit. But that seems to have handled the issue. The techie suggested I do it once a month, something else I never had to do. Lord...

While the tech was installing the new router, I finished prepping RIHC6 to upload to Smashwords...ad they kept coming back to me that I had a double line link in the ToC, which I didn't. I mean, I scoured the text. 

Then I remembered the pages in the ebook are narrower, so a couple of my headings might be long enough to jump down to line 2. I narrowed them and reworked that part of the Table of Contents...and that took care of the issue. But suddenly there was another one about the book's designation.

It's already listed as Taboo Erotica, so I didn't understand the issue. I mean, all I'd done is upload a new avatar for this, but now suddenly they were nitpicking everything about it.

We went back and forth, the frustration with Verizon adding to my growing frustration with Smashwords...and now I'm just waiting to hear back from them regarding my last email to see if it will pass their latest inspection. It's available, just not in their premium catalogue.

Seems since they were taken over by Draft to Digital, they've become more difficult to deal with. Like Tumblr was just after they got bought out and before they dumped all their gay erotica. And nearly killed the company. And it does feel like they're hard on books with gay content.

The right wing scum are taking over everything. It'll be interesting to see how Carli's Kills fares, since it's a female lead raping and killing males. Very heterosexual and a male fantasy, as I understand it. In the meantime, I've dropped the price of my gay erotica to $1.99 on Smashwords, just to pump up sales.

Silver lining...

With only my phone's hot spot to use, I've been able to focus on reworking RIHC6, and have the new chapters set up for linkage within the document. 26 of them, half in Book One and half in Book Two. This will be fun, inserting bookmarks and making sure the issues Smashwords said were part of it aren't, anymore.

It's a pretty intense book, and Antony careens very close to complete madness in his quest to first avenge Collier's death and then protect Jake. It has a globe-trotting aspect to it that I had fun with, when I wrote it, and it flows neatly into The Vanishing of Owen Taylor, even though that book is told by Jake, is a fairly straightforward murder mystery, and has very little sex in it.

An important part of the second half of the book takes place in the Paris skyscraper district, La Defense...where Antony goes to make a deal with the devil to help Jake, who has family in not only Copenhagen but Paris. Throughout this book, I interweave plot points into the sex parts and make sex an important part of the reason everything happens. Some of the references are a bit dated...but they still work, in a generic way.

Tomorrow I supposedly get my wifi hooked up, but we'll see how that goes. It'll be the third time Verizon's come out to connect me. Once that's done, I'll be finishing up RIHC6 and will return to CK. The job I was supposed to go on, in Princeton, was canceled. Not a surprise; it's not the first time this particular client has pulled the plug at the last moment. I'm glad; it means I may have a chance to get CK published before the end of the month.

That would be a hoot.

Still no WiFi...

Having to use my phone's Hot Spot isn't optimal. This time there were two technicians and they couldn't figure out where the wire was to the box that's in my closet, so now have to come back on Thursday. Didn't help they didn't arrive till close to 3pm and the maintenance people leave at 3:30. Everyone keeps telling me Verizon knows this building, but so far all I've seen is...they don't.

I went through the notes on CK and it's not a huge number of them, so I'm not as frantic about making it happen before my eyelid surgery. Right now, I'm having to redo the ebook of Rape in Holding Cell 6. Seems when I updated the avatar, that triggered an issue with the table of contents; Smashwords is claiming I set up one link wrong...8 years ago! But they won't tell me which, and I don't find anything wonky on my file of the book.

But they insist, so...I'm redoing the whole ToC, as well as a bit of cleaning up on my style. Just replacing everything that's in quotes with italicized words and removing some other crap that's very old-hat. No other text changes...well, except updating the books I have available and noting that this is the book where Antony meets Jake, as a prelude to The Vanishing of Owen Taylor.

I'm really irritated that this popped up right now, but I need to get it done because the book is awaiting the update. I'm more than halfway through the corrections, so the new linkage for the ToC should be done, Thursday. Then I'll dig into CK. Already have ideas on what to do to make it better.

=One positive note...how the underlying theme of RIHC6 is how love is undying. Antony's first real love, Collier, is murdered, then Jake comes along...but doesn't replace him or supplant him, but finds his own space to be with Antony, making him whole, again. Everything Antony does in this book stems from his love of Collier and of Jake...in a warped sort of way. I like that. Of course, the non-con sex doesn't hurt.

My apartment is at the point where I should bring a few boxes of books and DVDs in from storage to see what else I need in the way of furniture. I'm thinking another bookshelf, a couple of wall tables and some kind of shelf over the toilet...but those are not a big rush. Ii've got a place to eat, a place to work, a place to sleep, my bulletin board up, and most of my books out...so I'm doing fine.

Hurry up and wait...

Wifi didn't get installed. The technician needed access to a room that can only be gotten into during the week, when maintenance is here. Irritating. so I did a lot of running around, shopping for shit I can't afford, and putting together my new table...which was a royal pain.

It was made in China and not very well. The machining of the piece was second-rate (holes don't line up just right, metal is very cheap, bolts are difficult to line up so they can be screwed in) but now it's done, after 5 hours on a project that shouldn't have taken more than two. Won't last very long, but it looks cool, for now.

This photo is color, believe it or not. I took it earlier, today, before I ran out to buy more shit...and return an item. It was windy and chilly....but it settled down and this was the end of the day. If you look close, just before the hill to the right, you can make out the mist coming up off Niagara Falls.

I'm finding I really like having a real view of a horizon to look out on.  I set my dining table right by the window, so when I eat I can just gaze upon it. It's surprisingly calming. No idea why.

My place is closing in on being in order, so I can start thinking about work on CK. I still need to read the editor's notes...but I already know she hates my use of ellipses...which is why I still use them, liberally...so I'm ready for her shots. I was aiming to get this done by the end of the month, but that's not looking likely. I also need to work up a cover.

We'll have to see how it goes.

New place, new beginning?

Finally moved into my new apartment, This is the sunset from my west-facing window. The buildings on the far right side of the horizon are the hotels and tower of Niagara Falls in Canada. Now it's night and I can see the lights, too. Big difference from my old place.

I'm still trying to sort out the mess around me, but I'm not rushing. I've gotten feedback on Carli's Kills and want to start work on that to get it done. Good responses, so far. I also got notes from my editor but they're embedded in the document and I haven't had a chance to crack that open, yet. Tomorrow I'm getting wifi so won't have to use my company phone as a hot spot, then I can get the whole process going, again.

This place is fairly quiet. About the same amount of traffic noise, but not much more. I'm exhausted from all the running around, working, building of furniture -- I now have a real desk instead of a table, to work on -- and need to get only a few more things to finalize the place.

I keep getting a weird sense of deja vu at moments, throughout this move. Like when I was building that desk and at the 75% done point just knew I'd done this before. But I haven't. Same for when I made a pitcher of iced tea. It was spooky.

Hell, I'm spooky. But now I'm a livable space, left my previous apartment with good vibes, have a fridge with a freezer to make ice...and feel very satisfied with myself...for the moment.

Major changes...

Today was spent packing my books and stuff into boxes to cart over to the new place, meaning I rearranged a shitload of dust and my eyes and nose are NOT happy. And that 's with me wearing a mask and using eye drops. Shit, you could have grown potatoes in some of that dust.

But...a day like this is helping me break away from various concepts I should not have. Like with my book, Bobby Carapisi . I'd initially offered it as another non-con erotica piece...but it's not. It's the story of three men and how each deals with sexual assault...two as victims, one as perpetrator.

Each character tells his own story in his own voice. That meant building three completely different methods of speaking and describing and seeing and word choices and everything for Eric, a gay waiter; Bobby, a rising baseball star; and Allen, a customer service rep who with two friends kidnapped and raped each of them.

Eric turns angry and self-destructive after it happens to him and he is dissed by the cops, the medical profession and the DA's office. And this is despite him having a supportive family. When he learns another man was raped, too, he sets in motion events that lead to tragedy.

Bobby refuses to face it; just wants to let it go...but because he's a minor celebrity, his refusal to talk sets nasty rumors going...from drug abuse to adultery to being a closet case. Even his wife questions his version of events, finally leading to his suicide.

Allen struts and brags about how he didn't rape either man but convinced them to be with him, claiming he acted alone...but bit by bit reveals he was in an abusive relationship with the real rapist, and is really taking full credit for the rapes as a way to assuage his guilt. He only starts revealing what actually happened because Eric is trying to atone for his part in Bobby's death and manipulates him into doing so.

Hardly sounds like a fun erotic read, does it...

So I'm shifting my plan for it. I took it out of my For Adults Only section on my site and put is on The Lyons' Den page. Complete opposites...comedy and tragedy...just like the world of drama demands. And will open it wider. I don't know why I haven't done this, before, because I'm proud of what I managed to do. It's not perfect...it could have used more humor to alleviate the darkness, but I do think it's honest.

New story idea...dammit...

In my SF-Horror book, The Beast in the Nothing Room , the terror comes from a person in the future who's found a way to circumvent their world's strict guidelines involving traveling back in time. Thanks to good documentation, this person is able to find men who are about to violently die in car wrecks or plane crashes, capture them into a holding area so they can be raped and tortured, then put them back in place the instant before they wind up dying.

The story starts out with Finn, my MC, waking up in a nothing of a room. He is undressed, raped and forced to ejaculate, then is dressed and put back where he was take from. but not to be killed. The reason for this is because they've been searching for him and trying to do it in as unobtrusive a way as possible to avoid messing with his future.

He's a cop so looks into it, finds other men this has happened to...two of whom were reported dead but actually did not die...and pieces the puzzle together in steps and stages as he's taken again and again. I had one reader tell me she had to put the book down, at times, it was so scary. Very proud of that reaction. And even prouder of my tag line for the book -- How do you stop a serial killer who kills no one and doesn't even exist?

It tapped into an aspect of another horror story of mine -- Blood Angel. That one's vampires in New Orleans after Katrina, and the vampire queen, Gabrielle Bayeux, fixates on a damaged, young jazz musician named Tristan Lee. She wants to lure him into joining her in her non-death. It's all mood and style and casual horror...but something Gabrielle alluded to was how she has managed to not only feed but grow impossibly rich over her thousand years of existence. 

Disasters. Totalitarian governments who disappear people. Wars, where if someone vanishes people will assume they were killed in the conflict. The world provides plenty of victims to choose from. Soldiers. Civilians. They're all food to vampires...and opportunities for profit to a clever one.

The slaughter in Ukraine brought this back to me. The Russians leaving their dead behind. Bombs and fires everywhere. Bodies lying in the street. Mass graves of people the Russian terrorists executed. Like in Georgia and Syria and Sudan...I could build a horror story out of all that evil that would scar people for life. It's still formulating in my head...but it does fit neatly into both stories' parameters.

I just don't know if it's right for me to do that, now.

Busy day...

Got the keys to my new apartment. Came home to start packing the last of my books. Tomorrow my bed and sofa get delivered to the new place, then I'll get groceries. It's larger than where I live now, by double, but since it's Senior Housing I get a cut rate. Being old has a couple of perks, now and then. One being I can see Canada from my windows.

I spent half an hour working with my internet provider to change my address. They guy kept trying to get me to take cable and phone service and bundles, all for just $199 before taxes and fees. As it is, my bill's going up by $20 a month because they now rent you the router. Oh, I could buy it for nearly $400 or provide my own. Considering how these things go, I'd rather have the ability to upgrade it without a huge outlay, again. But that won't be installed until the 9th. Grr.

I also worked up a fresh cover for Rape in Holding Cell 6. The front is pretty much the same (I removed the by above my name is all) but the back is completely different. I had to do this because I stupidly put the price on the previous edition and I'm down to making $.09 a sale. Now I can update the price as needed.

I've got four people reading CK to give me feedback, and I've asked them to be brutal. I am so lost in that story I have no idea if it makes sense or reads well or anything. I'm less worried about typos, right now, that it just being a piece of shit. We'll see what happens.

My main moving day is going to be Monday. I have a dental appointment at 3:15 but nothing for the rest of the day...and since I'm in the office Tuesday through Friday in preparation for the NY Book Fair, it's now or middle of the week. And I have to be out by the 10th to keep from paying more rent, here.

Damn, I'm tired.

5th draft done.

I finally finished draft 5 of Carli's Kills, and the ending wound up being rather bizarre...but I kind of like it. Anyway, right now, it's 409 pages and 84,745 words and I have no idea if it makes one damn bit of sense. I'm going to ask a few people for feedback, hoping this will help me. 

It turned out to be somewhat amoral a story, but not as much as I had thought it would become. Carli keeps her secrets; Zeke does not. I've sort of flipped the dynamic here to where Carli's in the male role and Zeke the female, emotionally speaking.  I hope it's not insulting to people.

Tomorrow is the first day I can start moving into my new apartment. I need to be done with my current place by the 8th, so it's going to be fun. I'm not getting my bed frame and couch delivered until the 2nd, and everything else that goes in the place depends on them. I want a living space, not a place I'm just existing in.

It seems that's all I've had, most of my life...rooms to work and sleep in, never real homes. Always make-do. There isn't much I can afford in order for this to work, but I am not pulling my usual find stuff on the road and make use of it strategy, this time. I'll be on the 9th floor of a senior apartment facility, and I'm not traveling as much, now, so can do the plants thing, again. 

I don't want a pet; I've never had much luck with them and it's not fair to the animal for me to take one on at this stage of my life. I'll be 70 in July so no telling how much longer I'll be around. And I have too many stories to work on to be able to pay attention to a dog or cat.

Though I do love cats...

This continues from the "Learning a Lesson" post, a couple nights ago.

And to fill in some info -- Carli has a knife in a sheath that's been sewn to her belt, to hide inside her pants.

-------------

After a moment, a woman appeared from a shadow. 

Zeke tensed. Kept his finger on the trigger. Was it the same woman? The form didn't look right. The hair seemed lighter. But Rho had mentioned she'd been in disguise. Best play it safe. 

"You can stay there," he said, his voice carrying the hint of a quiver. 

"Sorry," she said. "Just listening to the music. It's pretty." 

"Bar’s closed." 

"I...I know, I just..." 

"So what you doing here?" 

"I...I dunno. I was bored. Thought maybe I’d find some fun, but I arrived late..." 

"From where?" 

It took her a moment to say, "The college." 

He couldn't really make out what she looked like, without the moon to soften the darkness. "That’s twenty miles off," he said. 

She shrugged. 

Moved a bit closer. 

Ran a finger over her belt. 

Loki's growl went low and dangerous. 

"You really need to stay over there," Zeke said. 

She stopped. Said, "Nice dog. Protective. What’s his name?" Then she held up a hand, realizing. "No, wait, you said...he's Loki. Right? The trickster." 

Zeke just nodded. 

She crouched. Offered to let Loki sniff her hand. He did not even think about approaching her. Just kept glaring at her. Softly rumbling. She finally rose. 

"You’re doing good," said Zeke. "If he thought you were a real threat, he’d have bit you, by now." 

"Is...is that why he was chained?" 

"How'd you know about that?" 

She hesitated then motioned to the chain lying in the dirt. "I don't think it's there for you." 

Zeke leaned back, still wary. "Okay..." 

"Oh, you...um, you work here?" 

He gave her another shrug, still frowning, the rifle still in hand.

She continued with, "What time do you open?" 

"Six." 

"A-M?" 

He snorted in response. 

She sighed. "Yeah. Right. Makes for a nice, short commute." 

"Works okay." 

"Your...your leg...um, Iraq or Afghanistan?" 

"It matter?" 

"No. It’s just I..." 

He caught on to her hesitation. Her confusion. His voice became more gentle. "You do a tour?" 

She hesitated then said, "Yeah. Logistics. Bagram. Few years ago. I was AMS. Saw guys like that, so many times." 

Zeke relaxed a little more. "Marines. Three-three." 

"Helmand? Wow." 

"How long you been out?" 

"Oh...just over ten months. You?" 

"Eight years. Y’know, bar closed near an hour ago." 

"Did it?" 

"Don't you know what time it is?" 

"Oh, I...no, I...truth is, I was sitting in my car. For hours. Um, trying to talk myself into going inside. Just for a beer. Then I...I couldn’t even get myself to go home." 

He quietly propped the M-16 between his legs. "Still want one? Shot?" he asked, his voice gentle. 

She looked at him. Everything about her said she was deeply confused. She ran a finger over her belt, again. 

"No," she finally said. "I...uh, I...I just heard the music and it was nice so I came over. But that was a mistake." 

"Yeah. I know. Even one-on-one can be hard, sometimes. How you handle classes?" 

It took her a moment to understand the question. Finally, she said, "Not well. Remote. Mostly." 

Zeke nodded. "You did more than logistics." 

All she did was shrug. 

"It’ll get easier," he said. "There’s a good VA hospital not too far from here. They’ve worked out ways to get around cuts in funding. . I’m Zeke." 

"Carli." Then she seemed upset that she had told him. 

"Mid-terms're on through tomorrow...oh, but you know that. Good thing is, Saturday night’ll be slow, if you wanna try again. Kids're off on Spring Break. Bikers are gone. I tend the bar. I’ll comp you one." 

"You don’t have to do that. But thanks. Maybe I’ll take you up on it...sometime..." 

"Your choice." 

"Okay. Thanks." She hesitated then backed into the shadows. 

Loki did not move. 

A few moments later, Zeke heard a truck start up. Saw its headlights flare on just up the road and pull away. He gave Loki a pat and scratch behind the ears, saying, "Thanks, boy." 

Woof. 

"So you think she's lyin'?" 

Woof. 

"Yeah, me too. Can't lie to a dog." 

Woof-woof. 

"We'll deal with her next time she comes. C'mon, buddy, it's chilly out. Let's go in. See if we can find some Rin-Tin-Tin on YouTube." He set the safety on the rifle, used it to steady himself as he rose, then grabbed the guitar and entered the trailer, Loki on his tail.