Ginger Simpson's Blog, page 28

"Classic Ginger" Joke Day - Share One

thirdmonk.netI remember my mother-in-law sharing this joke with me...and she did the accent so well, then Anita Davison, who lives in England, shared it via email....I could still hear my MIL's voice.  Of all the jokes I've heard, this ranks as one of the best.  Feel free to share you own joke.  I hear that laughing prolongs our lives.

beyondthebox.orgHistorical Joke: (read with an exaggerated southern accent)

Two elegant southern belles stood in the corner of the ballroom, fanning themselves and chatting.
The first one patted her bosom. "My Gerald has been most generous. He bought me a new plantation."
Her friend continued fanning. "That's verra nice, dear, verra verra nice."

Bothered that she wasn't able to really impress her friend, the first woman fluttered her left hand. "And look, my darling, Gerald brought me this diamond ring from New Orleans."
Her friend continued fanning. "That's verra nice, dear, verra verra nice."
"And did I mention that Gerald purchased a contingent of slaves to do my bidding?"
"That's verra nice, dear, verra verra nice."
Now the woman is getting really frustrated and wanting to see a glint of jealousy on the other's face. Her rapid fanning shows her ire. "Well, dear, do tell. I've told and shown you what my Gerald has done is prove his love for me. What exactly has your husband done for you?"
Without missing a beat, the unimpressed woman grabs the side of her skirt and curtsies. "My husband sent me to charm school."
"Oh, and what exactly did you learn there?"
With a slight smile and continued fanning, the answer comes. "They taught me to say, "verra nice, dear, verra verra nice," instead of "who gives a flying f**k."

Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg? By Connie Vines

Tired of political commercials?

Well, so am I.  So, while channel surfing this evening, I landed on a local “Hollywood” gossip show.
It was there I caught the teaser for a new show. . .drum roll.  Wait for it. . .wait for it. . .coming to VH1, Martha and Snoop’s Potluck Dinner Party.

Martha Steward and Snoop Dogg?  Together?

Apparently the two have shared the small screen before (news to me).

How did it come to be that Snoop Dogg and Martha Stewart, who are co-hosting the new VH1 cooking show share one of the most enduring friendships in all of Hollywood? (Enduring? 8 years?  By Hollywood standards, this may be accurate.)




They’re more alike than you might think — that is, if you were to superficially judge them by their self-styling and manner of speech, but we know you wouldn’t do that.

“My homegirl, Martha, and I have a special bond that goes back. We’re gonna be cooking, drinking and having a good time with our exclusive friends,” Snoop told the Hollywood Reporter when their show was first announced. “Can’t wait for you to see how we roll together!”

In 2016, the duo appeared together on an episode of “$100,000 Pyramid” and, according to Hollywood PR, seemed to be as connected as ever.

The new cooking show premiers on November 7th.

After this unexpected paring of Celebs, I thought I see if I could get a list of Celebs who actually are skilled in the kitchen.  Who would you like to Co-host a new cooking show?  Your take on the tone.  Perfect match, or a battle for the spot-light.

• Scarlett Johansson
• Emma Stone
• Taylor Swift
• Gwyneth Paltrow
• Matthew McConaughey
• Kris Jenner
• Brian Boitano
• Drew Barrymore
• Jamie Oliver
• Govind Armstrong
• Taylor Florence

I must confess one of my favorite cooking shows is the Great British Baking Show on PBS.  No Hollywood Glam here.

The contestants are filmed outdoors, without the benefit of hair, make-up, or sadly over-the-counter- teeth whitening strips.  The contestants struggle with through bouts of wind, rain, and British recipes that seem to be mainly some version of a ‘sponge cake’.  Man vs Nature is the theme of this show.  The judges do not, pardon the pun, sugar coat the comments.

What is your favorite cooking show?  Your go-to meal?

Connie

Old Wive's Tales--or Just How Bad Is Winter Really Going to Be?

Fall. It brings about thoughts of cooler weather (unless you happen to live in Texas and my friends there tell me fall will be scheduled for the 15th of December), wearing hoodies, thick sweaters, boots, having bonfires, and taking in the color of the trees as they slowly shed their foliage and go dormant for the winter.

Inevitably, fall also brings out the wives’ tales about how to predict the coming winter: is that wooly worm all black, black and orange, or all orange; did you find a knife, fork, or spoon in the persimmon seeds you cut; how much heavier is the coat the farm animals are putting on; how bushy is that squirrel’s tail? For the record, the wooly worms I’m finding are all black, the persimmon seeds are predominantly spoons with a few knives tossed in, and my horse had his winter coat by the middle of September and my collies are shedding again to put on brand new, fresh coat for winter. I don’t pay too much attention to the squirrels, other than to battle daily with them to keep them out of my bird feeders. However, those are all predictors of a harsh and snowy winter here in Indiana. The wooly worms and persimmon seeds at the homestead in Tennessee are saying the same thing.


Don’t get me wrong. I like winter. On Christmas Eve and through about the second or third of January and then it can go away, again.
What are some of the wives’ tales you’ve heard about predicting the winter weather?

"Classic Ginger" To Tweet or Not To Tweet

Twitter seems to be the biggest enigma of the promotion options.   If you read the tweets that are "trending"daily, unless you're a celebrity who is doing nothing worth noting, ask yourself why you bother.  Kim Kardashian shared a picture of her newborn hooking fingers with his older sister, North; Kate Mansi, An actress  on the soap, Days of Our Lives, is leaving the show, Anne Heathaway shared a picture of her in a bikini while pregnant with her first child.  Who cares?  I'd much rather read about me and my books selling.  *lol*

Then there are articles about sites like Triberr that make you question whether or not you time is being wisely spent by sharing posts of tribemates who don't bother to share your's  If they do share, and you aren't "trending," does anyone read the tweet?  Can we compete with Mark Zuckerberg's announcement for his personal challenges of 2016?

For the sake or educating those who have no idea what I'm talking about...Posts  at triberr are "blog feeds."  You set up your blogs to feed to Triberr daily with the hope that your fellow tribemates will mark them as shared so they will be tweeted widely.  For those who don't aren't familiar with Triberr, it's a tweeting site where you join 'tribes' that fit your needs.  For example, I belong to Historical Fiction, Fiction, Romance, and a few others, but then I read that there are folks who decide whether or not your blog posts fit their "agenda."  Some don't want to be associated with Porn, and of course non-writers care nothing for author's blogs.  That's why you need to pick your tribes carefully.

 I recently discovered that if you hover your mouse across a poster's picture, stats appear, and you can see whether that person is sharing your posts or not.  Today, I decided, if you aren't sharing mine, I'm not sharing yours.  Sadly, I hid more than I shared.  Why do I feel guilty?

For author's, finding inexpensive promotional sites is really important.  Those reviews that used to be easy to come by have become elusive and hard to acquire.  One of the reasons...most reviewers volunteer their time in exchange for free reads, and there are far more authors out there than ever before.  Choices are staggering, and unless you write a blurb that reaches out and nabs attention, your book is going to sit forever.  While I'd like to think my blurbs are real grabbers...they obviously aren't.

Speaking of reviews:  Now authors have to contend with what most refer to as "trolls."  These are people who leave snarky reviews that are usually a dead giveaway that they haven't even read your book.  The only logical explanation is that there are some authors trying to sabotage their competition, but this seems a little extreme.  Amazon is trying to remedy the problem, but is disallowing authors to review others authors the solution?  I may write books, but I also read them.  So far, I haven't had my reviews removed, but I'm aware of fellow authors who have...and they aren't happy.

Bottom line...whether we tweet, blog, or review, are we doing enough or are we spinning our wheels.  I'm always open to new ideas, so if anyone wants to share them here, please do.

What Makes a Novel Memorable? by Connie Vines

The best stories connect with readers on a visceral level. They transport us to another time and place and put us in a different “skin,” where we face challenges we may never know in life. And yet, the commonality of the story problem draws us onward and, in solving it vicariously through the

protagonist, changes us.

Another feature of a memorable story is characters that live off the page. One of the highest compliments I’ve never received for my novel “Lynx”, Rodeo Romance came when one reader told me she thought about my story constantly. She said that Lynx and Rachel’s story seemed so real, so heart wrenching, and their love so very enduring.  She said that she was going through a difficult time in her life and my story gave her hope.  Hope.  Hope for someone during a desperate time—I felt blessed that she shared her story.  I was also humbled.  It is moment such as this that I know just how powerful worlds and stories are to our readers.

While I never sit down at the keyboard and say, “I think I will write a powerful, life-changing story today.”  What I do, by nature, is select a social issue for the core of my stories.  Since my stories are character driven and often told in the first person, the emotion has a natural flow.

How do you create this type of engagement with your story?

Go beyond the five senses.  Your reader must feel your character’s emotions.  Your reader must forget there is a world outside of your story.

Embrace idiosyncrasies.  As teenagers everyone wanted to fit in, be one of the crowd.  Your character isn’t like anyone else.  Give him an unexpected, but believable trait.  In “Here Today, Zombie Tomorrow”,  my heroine, a Zombie has a pet. Not a zombie pet. Not a dog, or a cat.  She has a teddy bear hamster named Gertie.

Make them laugh. It doesn’t need to be slap-stick.  Just a little comic relief when the reader least expects it to happen.

Make them cry.  Remember the scene in the movie classic, Romancing the Stone, where Joan Wilder is crying when she writes the final scene in her novel?  I find this is the key.  If you are crying, your reader will be crying too.

If you are writing a romance, make them fall in love.  Make the magic last.  The first meeting, first kiss, the moment of falling in love.  These are the memories our readers savor, wait for in our stories.

 Don’t disappoint them.

As Emily Dickinson, said so well:
There is no frigate like a book
To take us lands away,
Nor any coursers like a page
Of prancing poetry.
This traverse may the poorest take
Without oppress of toll;
How frugal is the chariot
That bears a human soul!

Enjoy Halloween, my lovelies!
(Purchase Link)

Connie

Blog Hop: 
http://yesterrdayrevisitedhere.blogspot.com/
http://connievines.blogspot.com/
http://triciamg.blogspot.com/
http://triciamg.blogspot.com/

How Effective are Book Give-a-ways or Contests? by Connie Vines

1. How effective do you think book giveaways or contests are?

The key: forethought (know your audience). Careful planning, media blitzing, and a gimmick are the elements of a very successful contest. By gimmick, I mean a creative approach, one that is not a usual contest pitch.  Am I going to give you any never fail rule/a road map to success?
No--I wish it was only that easy.

You can Google names of media savvy authors.  Or Google my name and look at my website (novelsbyconnievines.com) read my interviews, my archived contest info (the links are still on Google/ Bing, some are available on my web site).  This is not a do-what-you-see-others-do, it more of fact gathering tour.  You know your story/series, and you are the best judge of what will appeal to your fan base.

After all, what is a successfully contest for me, may not spell success for you. If you write historical novels featuring a lineage page (I do enjoy researching genealogy but. . .) your readers would probably adore winning a book of Sonnets.  While my fan base (me included) are happy with a Starbucks gift card and an autographed copy of my latest eBook.

Be creative. Have fun.  If you don’t enjoy your contest, no one else will either.

2. Do you think all the free books through Amazon and the library offered to prime members affect your efforts?

I believe the free reads and lending through Amazon (for prime members) has a positive effect on my efforts in promotion.  I’m willing to try a new author or genre because of the free read offers.  I have purchase 6 books this month as of this Amazon feature.  Since I do not participate in the lending feature, I have no comment.

3. What are the best promotions you've participated in?

I find that interviews generate the most exposure for me. Contests run as a group (with your publisher, online reader/writer group etc.) is second. Guest blogging (see I’m here!), and all of my combined online presence, is third.  I am visible in my community. I judge local and national writing contests, offer workshops and guest speaking engagement.  As for book signings—in the past this was a wonderful way to ‘meet and greet’ readers.  Signing 75 books during a 4-hour event was the norm, now appearances aren’t a sure-fired way to draw readers.

The online shopping experience, or read a book at your local library and purchase it for your book shelf, seems to be the new norm.

I believe to survive in this very completive field, contests, giveaways, and name branding is a must.
After all, a loyal readership is the key to success.  Write that ‘must read’ story that your readers love and keep your name out there!

Readers what's you take on the subject?
Happy Reading,  (remember my novels are part of the Kindle Count Down this month)

See you on Saturday!  I'm going to being trying out a podcast for the blog, too.

Connie

Ain't Afraid of No Goat

I am a baseball fan. More to the point, I am a long-suffering Cubs fan. This appearance by the Cubbies in the World Series is a very long time coming. For historical perspective, the last time the Chicago Cubs won the World Series--the Titanic hadn't sank yet, the Great War (WWI) hadn't even started, the Ford Model T just started rolling off the production line, and sliced bread hadn't been invented. The last time they appeared in the World Series, WWII had just ended. My dad used to joke that any team could have a bad century and he also said at the beginning of each season until we could figure out how to reverse the curse of that dang goat, it was going to be another looooooong baseball season.

Cubs fans have kept the faith. For more than a century, they have said, "Next year;" they remained loyal; they wept bitter tears when season after season hopes were dashed on the brick and ivy of Wrigley Field; and in my case, endured the torment and teasing of living in a household full of White Sox fans. Even my own son is a White Sox fan who enjoys tormenting me with truly tasteless memes about how long it has been for Cubs fans. It’s a good thing I really love the boy.
This season, the Cubs had the best record in either league with 103 regular season wins. And, unless they can win the World Series, that record will just be a small asterisk that ultimately means NOTHING. If you ain’t got that ring…

Every time I went to Wrigley Field, my "lovable losers" did just that. They lost. Every time I have watched a game on television, they lost. Every time I have cheered for them, they lost. My kids call it "Momma's curse" and they used to tell me which team to cheer for so the team they really wanted to win would. My son—the same one who torments me about my Cubbies—says it’s a kind of black magic. (Insert mysterious grin here…) I have refused to watch my beloved Cubbies all season for this reason. I have refused to even listen to them on the radio because I couldn't help myself and I was cheering for them. So, I will not watch any of the World Series.

However, I will cheer--for the Cleveland Indians. Sorry, Cleveland fans. Not sorry.

"Classic Ginger" HER Body, HIS Nightmare...Culture Shock by Ginger Simpson

Cynthia massaged her temples. "God, there's too much to remember. You can't expect me to store all that information in my brain. You went to an academy for months to learn all this stuff..." 
Suddenly her eyes widened. "I'm not going to have to shoot a gun am I?" 
"No! I've never even taken mine out of the holster. Don't worry. You'll do fine. Just remember the basics. You'll be surprised how things sink in even if you don't think they did. You'll remember what you need to know when you need it." 
"That's easy for you to say. I'm the one that has it the toughest." 
He scrunched up his face. "You? How can you say that? I haven't the first idea about how to be a woman, and we all know how complex they are." 
"We are not! Being feminine is very simple. Let me show you." 
She struck a pose that looked ridiculous and walked across the room. "The walk is the most important thing. Take small steps and lead with your hips. Let them be your guide.''
Alex's flinched at the sight of his masculine frame sashaying around the floor. Even more annoying was the way she made feminine gestures with his hands. 
He rolled his eyes. "There's no way I can walk like that, and I wish you'd stop. You're making me look ridiculous. Promise me you won't walk like that as long as you have my body." He jumped to his feet. "Real men walk heavy and hard ... and pull your shoulders back." He grabbed her forearms from behind, forcing her chest forward. 
She jerked out of his grasp, turned and glared at him. "Don't worry. I'll play up the macho thing, but I want to see you walk like I just did." 
He blew out a loud breath then reluctantly took one step, then another. The swivel didn't come naturally, but he tried following her example. Having a woman's form and a man's thought process was tough. The two didn't work well together. He walked across the room then turned. "Well, what do you think?" 
"I think you look like someone who just had casts removed from their broken legs. But, we'll keep working on it. I also need to show you how to sit properly, drink with poise, and how to be graceful." 
He grabbed two handfuls of her blonde hair and yanked in frustration. "Just kill me now." 
"I can't. You promised I wouldn't have to shoot anyone, and I don't want to be the first to un-holster your gun." Her giggle sounded forced. 

He sagged down on the sofa. "I guess I'll be spending the night again. Looks like we have a lot of ground to cover."
http://www.amazon.com/author/gingersimpson

The Importance of Book Titles by Connie Vines

I am blogging about the Importance of Book Titles today (Saturday, October 22) at my WordSlinger Weblog.  Please stop by and see what every has to say!

http://connievines.blogspot.com/

Happy Reading & Writing,

Connie

It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown by Connie Vines

 “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” — which premiered 50 years ago this month — is my favorite "Peanuts" production.

“Great Pumpkin,”  represented an open and inviting canvas for legendary animator Bill Melendez, who worked on classic Disney films and “Looney Tunes” shorts before coming to the world of “Peanuts.”

[The 7 things you might not know about ‘It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!’]

Buoyed success of the Peanuts Christmas Special, Charles Schulz, Melendez and Mendelson hashed out the new special’s plot quickly — including Linus’s late-night vigil as he waits for the Great Pumpkin, even as others question where he places his faith. (Linus had delivered the iconic “meaning of Christmas” speech in the first special, quoting from Luke.)

Their swift narrative certainty for “Great Pumpkin” freed Melendez (who also voiced Snoopy) and his crew — including gifted animator Bill Littlejohn — to create stunning watercolor skies and rich autumn hues that provide every scene with its own mood, apart from the characters. Melendez brilliantly painted both motion and emotion.

“It is by far the most colorful of the shows,” Mendelson says, “as Bill and his team captured the vibrancy of the fall season.”

And the camera, reviews report, often so static in “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” zooms in for facial close-ups in the follow-up that provide the viewer with a poignant intimacy.

“Because of this, I think we as viewers are right there in the pumpkin patch with Linus and Sally,” the Bay Area-based Mendelson says, “as she berates him for failing to produce the Great Pumpkin.”

9 Best Quotes:

1. Lucy Van Pelt: A person should always choose a costume which is in direct contrast to her own personality.

2. Linus: Each year, the Great Pumpkin rises out of the pumpkin patch that he thinks is the most sincere. He's gotta pick this one. He's got to. I don't see how a pumpkin patch can be more sincere than this one. You can look around and there's not a sign of hypocrisy. Nothing but sincerity as far as the eye can see."

3. Lucy: All you have to do is walk up to a house, ring the doorbell, and say "tricks or treats."

Sally : Are you sure it's legal?

Lucy: Of course it's legal.

Sally: I wouldn't want to be accused of taking part in a rumble.

4. Linus: Have you come to sing pumpkin carols?

5. Linus: You don't believe the story of the Great Pumpkin? I thought little girls always believed everything that was told to them. I thought little girls were innocent and trusting.

Sally Brown: Welcome to the 20th century!

6. Linus: You've heard of the fury of a woman scorned, haven't you?

Charlie Brown: Yeah, I guess I have.

Linus: Well, that's nothing compared to the fury of a woman who has been cheated out of trick-or-treats.

7. Linus: There are three things that I've learned never discuss with people: religion, politics, and the Great Pumpkin.

8. Linus: He'll come here because I have the most sincere pumpkin patch and he respects sincerity.

9. Linus: [writing to the Great Pumpkin] You must get discouraged because more people believe in Santa Claus than in you. Well, let's face it; Santa Claus has had more publicity, but being #2, perhaps you try harder.

Do you have a favorite "Peanuts" Special?

Snoopy and Linus.

The Great Pumpkin.

Peanuts Characters remind me to enjoy life!

Happy October Everyone.



Thank you for stopping by to read my Thursday blog here at "Dishn' It Out!"C\

Connie