Larry Correia's Blog, page 14

Twitter friend of mine on FOX talking about “white privilege”

Kurt is one of the guys on Twitter who I club morons with. http://www.ijreview.com/2014/05/139340-thats-fantastic-watch-army-colonels-epic-takedown-white-privilege-leave-fox-anchor-speechless/

He’s got a book coming out later this year called Conservative Insurgency (which I failed to complete in time to blurb for him, damn it) but I’m going to Boom Bomb the hell out of it.

Autographed (and personalized!) Monster Hunter Nemesis available from Uncle Hugos

I am going to be signing at Uncle Hugos in Minnesota for the release of Monster Hunter Nemesis. Because they are a really cool bookstore, one of the things that they do is that they’ll take personalized orders, and then I can sign them accordingly, and ship them to you. Since I don’t have the time or the capability to keep up with doing this out of my house, other than catching me at a book signing somewhere, this is really your only way to get a personalized autograph.

http://www.unclehugo.com/prod/ah-correia-larry.php

And even if you just want the regular book, they are a great store. (and the people who introduced me to my publisher Toni!)  They also have all my other books if you want any of those, and I’ll sign them, I’ll do poorly drawn cartoons, I’ll struggle to come up with something witty and fail miserably, whatever you want. I’m here for you guys. :)

Only six days left to PUNCH MENTAL ILLNESS IN THE FACE!

There are only 6 days left on Robison Wells’ Indiegogo campaign.  A bunch of authors have gotten together to create an anthology which we are selling to help Rob out, after he ended up in debt up to his eyeballs as a result of his mental illness.

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/altered-perceptions#home

We’ve raised a ton of money. This is going to make a huge difference for him. This anthology will wipe out over half of his bills.

For only $10 you can snag a book. Since all the authors volunteered their stories for free and I think Brandon Sanderson is footing the production bills out of his own pocket (don’t quote me on that) then you get a book, and Rob is that much more out of the hole. There are only 6 days left.

My fans, being generous and awesome, kicked in thousands of bucks for me to shoot stuff. As you can see from this video, raising money for mental illness is serious business. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGdYziux4Vc&amp

Monster Hunter Nemesis audio book now up for preorder, and related news

Saw this. Pretty sweet. It will be released the same time as the hard cover. Once again recorded by Oliver Wyman, who did a fantastic job on the rest of the series.

http://www.audible.com/pd/Sci-Fi-Fantasy/Monster-Hunter-Nemesis-Audiobook/B00K8BXRM4/ref=a_search_c4_1_14_srTtl?qid=1400164841&sr=1-14

So yesterday I was messing around on Audible, and because I’m still an accountant at heart I opened up Excel for a minute. Across all my books there I’ve got over 28,000 reviews and I’m averaging four and a half stars. Not too shabby for somebody who isn’t a *real* author. :)

For those of you who aren’t regulars over there, my MHI and Grimnoir novels have done amazing. Dead Six and Swords of Exodus came out recently, both read by the amazing Bronson Pinchot. The stuff that I did for Warmachine is out now as well. Ray Porter read Into the Storm (and he even made the main character sound like Frank Sinatra like I asked!). Gabra Zackman read Instruments of War and she nailed it.

I’ve also written a few Grimnoir universe stories that will be appearing in audio in the future. They’re both really cool. One is done, turned in, and under contract (Jake Sullivan trying to stop a bunch of murders in 1937). The other is for a Baen anthology, and still needs to be edited. (but that one takes place in 1954, has a giant Imperium super robot fighting a Soviet super demon) And the Kaiju Rising anthology will be coming out in audio as well, and I’ve got a story in there about a samurai archer versus the Great Sea Beast, which I had a blast writing.

In non-audio news, I just did the final edits for a story which will appear in Jonathan Maberry’s V-Wars anthology. Jonathan is a great writer, check him out if you aren’t already familiar with his stuff. I got to write about a green beret turned vampire, and he is one bad dude.

This week I finished the above mentioned story for the Baen giant monsters anthology. And now it is back to work on the epic fantasy novel. Epic, heroic? I don’t know. It is a fantasy novel and lots of people get stabbed, so I’m enjoying it.

Writers for Life Workshop

I’m going to be teaching a class at the Writers for Life Workshop in Provo next month. There are still spots left, and your membership fee goes to charity.

Here is a post with more details: http://matthewflitton.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/writers-for-life-schedule/

Operation Pouty Face

I did a lot of research on human trafficking and modern slavery before Mike Kupari and I wrote Swords of Exodus. It is a horrible, evil, and surprisingly gigantic thing. One thing I’m fairly sure of about the kind of people who do that sort of thing for a living, is that they really don’t give a shit about a bunch of American movie stars taking pouty selfies of themselves holding up signs with hash tag give our girls back. The disapproval of fat, soft, Americans on Facebook really doesn’t move them. They care about getting paid or getting killed, that’s about it. The self-righteous pouting is useless.

Don’t tell me about it, go tell your husband. He’s the one with the red phone.

For the idiot libprog pussies with the selfies, the world is a violent place, filled with violent men. If you actually want something to be done about these evil people, maybe you shouldn’t bitch, whine, and moan every time our military takes action against evil people. It seems odd to me that the same people demanding military action for this are the same ones that complain about military action for anything else. Oh, but wait, I forgot, the left has no overriding principles, and to them violence is always bad unless their guy does it, and evil is relative depending on how it trends on Twitter.

This kidnapping event made the news, but this sort of thing happens every day somewhere in the world. You’re shocked and outraged about this, but that just shows how little you know about the subject. There are plenty of outrageous acts of evil out there to choose from. You can take useless photos of yourself holding up a sign, but it will do nothing other than prove to your fellow idiots that you care so hard.

You want to actually do something? You can demand that America truly be World Cop and swoop in to kill all the bad people every time they do something bad somewhere… Only if you really want that, then you probably shouldn’t bitch continually about the American military doing violent things to violent people. The problem is in reality we couldn’t afford to kill every bad person, we couldn’t pull it off anyway, and it isn’t really our problem.

Real men don’t punch out their wives either. And Hugo Chavez’s political machine just “allocated” girls. Totally different.

But if your selective outrage is really up in arms about this one, movie stars with the hash tag, I’ve got a simple solution for you. Take some of your millions of dollars and hire some mercenaries to go into Africa to shoot all the members of Boko Haram. I wonder how that would trend on Twitter. #gurkhaskillscumbags

But the left hates the private sector, so hiring Blackwater (or whatever they are named this week) to gleefully give slavers some stylish new 5.56 body piercings is out of the question. So we’re back to being useless or taking military action. And if we drop Navy SEALs on these assholes, you guys really need to think through how come it is okay for our guys to kill these woman abusing assholes, but not other woman abusing assholes. Those assholes, left wingers invite to speak at Ivy League colleges.

The real solution? Nigeria is one of dozens of screwed up countries. If Nigeria wants to be truly safe from slavers and madmen, it is going to require the Nigerians defend themselves from assholes, and if the Nigerian government won’t do it, then the Nigerian government needs to be replaced by Nigerians who want something better. For the thousands of other evil events that don’t trend on Twitter, replace Nigeria with whatever lawless hellhole country is in question and you get the same answer. People get freedom when they demand it for themselves.

 

Real Men provide their wives and daughters with guns so they can shoot kidnappers in the face. Real Countries have laws and exterminate slavers like vermin.

On the Real Men Don’t Buy Girls campaign… Holy shit… Seriously? That is so blindingly obvious that it takes a campaign on Twitter? “OMG! I was totally buying some child brides for my harem and then I saw that Ashton Kutcher said slavery was bad! LOL. I would have been soooo embarrassed!” said no Saudi prince ever.

Sometimes I wish that Exodus was a real organization—a bunch of warriors dedicated to brutally killing slavers and evil warlords in the places where law has broken down and chaos rules—only in real life I bet the morons holding up the signs on Twitter would complain about what horrible violent cismale gendernormative colonialists they were. They’d probably come up with a catchy hash tag or something.

Larry shoots stuff for charity, THE VIDEO!

The video is posted:

It is pretty darn funny. It is a long video, but if you ever wondered what it was like to hang out with the International Lord of Hate on the slopes of beautiful Yard Moose Mountain, this gives you an idea.

Jeremy is a friend of mine who was nice enough to let us use his family’s farm… which we almost burned down. Many of you already know Bob, because that is Pirate Bob Southunder, scourge of the seven seas. The character in Grimnoir? Didn’t actually change him much.

We had fun and raised some money for a good cause. And Corn truly is my nemesis. Watch Larry miss. Hear Larry swear!

If you want to jump in on the campaign and get an awesome anthology from a bunch of writers, go here: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/altered-perceptions#home

Here is that Kickstarter I was talking about, World of Aetaltis

I am a stretch goal! :) https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1486366537/world-of-aetaltis-the-temple-of-modren

Gamers, check this out. Marc has put together a really impressive roster of talent.

I know Marc Tassin because he is the man behind GenCon’s writer’s symposium. He gave me a basic outline for this world and what he was trying to accomplish with it, and I was glad to volunteer to write a story. It sounds awesome.

Charity: Altered Perceptions Update and Larry shoots stuff

So the charity anthology for Rob Wells continues. It has done well so far. We’ve raised enough to get him half way out of the hole. If you missed this last week, please go check out the link. You get an anthology for a good cause.

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/altered-perceptions#home

I did my part this weekend by shooting the hell out of a bunch of different things. We did ten spots at $250 which were basically “Larry Shoots Stuff!” We sold all ten of those in the first couple of days.

Originally I was planning on going down to the county gun range. (Sadly, I have neighbors on Yard Moose Mountain who frown on me shooting high powered rifles off the porch, which is why I’m fairly certain this will not be our last house) then I got this call from Rob:

Rob: “Hey, you ready for Saturday?”

Larry: “Yep. I reserved the county range.”

Rob: “Good. We’re shooting a bunch of books, and a man made out of meat and filled with salsa, and beer, and an old computer, and the New York Safe Act.”

Larry: “Uh… Not at the county range. I think they may have a rule against Meat Men. Hang on.”

So I called a friend who has a farm across the river. He was happy to let us make a mess of things. Then I called Pirate Bob Southunder (who is a real person) and he brought some more stuff.

So we shot lots of things on behalf of charity. Rob recorded it all. I don’t know if he edited out the few embarrassing misses, but fingers crossed. Holy moly, I’m rusty.

For the record, I used to be pretty darn good. Shooting was part of my job. When I was teaching I had to be able to demonstrate on command, any technique, and I had to do it fast and accurate, mostly because when you’re teaching classes full stubborn adults (and shooting classes attract a lot of Alpha types) you need to show them with no BS that you know what you’re talking about, they don’t, you’re better than them, and now they need to shut up and pay attention. :)

But shooting is a perishable skill, and I went from shooting three or four times a month (six or eight in the summer) to once every couple of months if I’m lucky over the last few years. But that is the nature of being a workaholic. I am happy to say that I’m still pretty darn good though, and only had a few notable misses and mistakes.

For example, if you last used a rifle on 500 yard targets, and you adjusted your scope accordingly, don’t be a rookie moron and forgot that you did so when trying to shoot pill bottles at 30 yards. Duh. It is sad when you’re using a scoped 20 inch suppressed AR from the bipod, prone, and missing, so you stand up, pull your pistol and go 3 for 4. :) So luckily I haven’t forgot to shoot a pistol. (also, first round of the day with the MHI long slide 10mm on a hundred yard plate. Ding. Love that gun. It makes me look like I know what I’m doing)

We got several requests to shoot various books. For the record, I want to be clear that I was doing this for charity, and I personally have nothing against any of the books that were shot. (nobody suggested the Scarlet Letter, because I would have burned that thing). So when people see the video and whine about me destroying books, A. These aren’t Guttenburg Bibles, they are still in print. B. It was for charity. C. The authors/estates still collected royalties. D. It was for charity. E. Lighten up, it was for charity, and if you are that offended, feel free next time to donate thousands of dollars to outbid the people who wanted me to shoot books. :)

There was only one modern book that was asked for, and since it was a modern book by a living author (and a recent Hugo nom) I let Rob shoot that one. I saw it and I was all like, nope, I catch enough flack as it is. I’m not touching that one. Here, Rob, this is 3 inch magnum 12 pellet double aught buckshot. You’re going to want to hold on tight.

On books as clay pigeons, they fly a little wobbly, but a good impact makes for an impressive page shower. I thought I missed Moby Dick because it showed no reaction on impact. Nope. It was filled with bird shot. Only the book was so heavy that it didn’t phase it. A couple of slugs took care of it though.

Having shot lots of paper things, the New York Safe Act was put onto a crappy, virus ridden, dying computer that was sent to us, and then we lit it up with 3 guns that are banned by the New York Safe Act. The battery got hit and it caught on fire. That was cool.

And for whoever asked me to shoot cans of corn with my carry gun (and who wanted the camera close enough to get splattered) thanks a lot. I got ten feet away to make sure we’d get a dramatic splash, and 230 grain Speer Gold Dots made it so I got hit with corn shrapnel. (though on that one I actually missed a shot. At fifteen FEET. D’oh)

Now the DSM on the other hand, that book we punished. It was the one we wanted to use to metaphorically punch mental illness in the face. Rob explains it on the video. So we tried to see if it would hang from my dueling tree with duct tape (nope) and when that didn’t work we stuck it on a log and shot it about a hundred times with 9mm and .45. Then we duct taped it back together into a ball, and took out the shotguns.

Take that mental illness!

EDIT: Rob just sent me this. Meat Man’s head didn’t fare too well against a Saiga. That was our opening shot.

Another Kickstarter I’m helping out in

Details to follow, because it should be releasing soon, but I’m contributing some short fiction to a Kickstarter for another RPG. This is for the world of Aetaltis. 

The reason I’m excited? Look at the other contributors.

Larry Elmore (Anthology Cover)
David Farland (Author)
Matt Forbeck (Author)
Ed Greenwood (Author)
Dave Gross (Author)
Amanda Hamon (Pathfinder Rules Editor)
John Helfers (Author/Anthology Editor)
Steven S. Long (Author/ Adventure Editor)
Mitchell Malloy (Lead Artist)
Mel Odom (Author)
Jean Rabe (Author)
Mike Schley (Cartography)
Lucy A. Snyder (Author)
Michaerl A. Stackpole (Author)
Elizabeth Vaughan (Author)
Universe M (Interior illustrations/logos/sketchcards)

If you are a gamer, you recognize a bunch of those names. :)