Joel Arnold's Blog, page 14

One of my favorite cookie recipes!

Ginger Crinkle Cookies

Cream together:
 
   2 Cups sugar
  1-1/2 Cups shortening
  2 eggs

Add:

  1/2 Cup molasses

Sift together and add:

  4 Cups flour
  4 teaspoons soda
  1 teaspoon salt
  2 teaspoons cinnamon
  2 teaspoons ginger
  1 teaspoon cloves

Chill one hour. Form into balls and roll in sugar. Bake at 350-degrees for about 11 minutes on greased cookie sheet.

Then let the yumminess commence!
 

Blizzards and a Free Offer

Looks like there may be a blizzard heading this way. They are predicting up to a foot of snow. I remember once getting lost only two blocks from my parents house while driving my car in a blizzard. The snow was falling and blowing so thick that I could not see where I was, and I grew disoriented - I could not even see beyond the curb, not to mention the lawns of houses. Again, I knew my way around the area, but suddenly it felt as if I was on another planet. It was a very strange sensation.

Things like blizzards can make good devices in stories and novels, since natural phenomena like that can rob you of your senses, threaten your mortality, and potentially cause you to make hasty and/or deadly choices, especially if you're far from shelter. Although in some cases, even if you're near shelter, you wouldn't necessarily realize it.

Another neat thing about blizzards in the context of story is that it's something that causes people to slow down the farther they go - sort of like that hallway encountered in nightmares that elongates the farther you try to run towards its end. The closer it is that you think you're getting to safety, the harder it is to continue on toward that safety; plus there's the possibility that the safety you're counting on isn't there - you may have become disoriented and gone in the wrong direction.

But so, speaking of blizzards, if any of you folks would like to read my YA suspense novel Snow Burn (in ebook form) for free to get you in that blizzardy mood, shoot me an email, and I'll send you a code you can use to download it for free from Smashwords. And if you'd consider writing a review at Amazon or B&N about it, I'd be incredibly grateful (although you certainly don't have to.)
 
 

From a newly discovered section of the Dead Sea Scrolls:

-- or -- The genesis of Genesis.


"In the beginning, God created milk. And God saw it was good.

The next day He created cookies and breakfast cereal to go with it. And God saw it was good.

On the third day, He created the bowl and spoon to eat the milk-covered cereal with, because He was tired of the mess, and He created napkins, with which to wipe the cookie crumbs from His lips.

And He saw that it was good.

On the fourth day, He created the cookie jar with which to hold the leftover cookies, as well as the refrigerator because His milk was starting to taste funny.

And He saw that it was good, plus He liked the ice-maker; He thought that was pretty damn cool.

On the fifth day, He created soy milk, since He quickly realized He was lactose intolerant.

And He saw that it was good, though it took a little while to get used to the taste.

On the sixth day, He created the belch, because it just felt right.

On the seventh day, He wanted to rest, but the electricity went out and His fridge defrosted, spilling water all over the floor (which He must've created earlier but neglected to mention) and so He spent half the day on the phone with various refrigerator repair-folk, trying to get a decent quote, and the other half of the day waiting for them to show up (since they would only commit to a four-hour window) and God saw that this actually kind of sucked.

So He said 'Screw it,' scrapped the whole thing, and started over with that whole universe creation thing."

John Lennon Tribute Show

Went to the John Lennon 31st annual tribute show last night at 1st Ave. (I know that this is the 30th anniversary of his death, but this tribute show started on the night he was shot as sort of an impromptu thing.) Anyway, it was wonderful. Curtis A and his band played from 7:30 to 12:30 with only a short intermission, and even during the intermission, a couple bands played a song each. (I heard someone say that the main band played some 75 Lennon and Beatles songs.)

The various incarnations of the backup band were amazing, ranging from just a couple people to nearly 20. There were horns, winds, strings, multiple guitarists, drummers, backup singers, a keyboardist. During the song Strawberry Fields, they even had a guy doing the reading (of whatever it is that's read in the original song.) Curtis A. has got to be in his late 50's/early 60's, but man, he still has his pipes fully intact. His vocals were amazing, not necessarily going for a spot-on impression of Lennon, but rather capturing his rebellious spirit when needed, as well as Lennon's quiet reflection when called for. Curtis is a bit of a goof on stage - quirky and hammy - but without any disrespect to the music. I was impressed. There were times when other band members took over the vocals to give Curtis a break, and there were these two young kids who sang a lot of backup vocals, as well as the song Because, and they were incredible. Wish I would've caught who they were. (Curtis kept referring to them as his domestic cats.)

The only complaint I have is in regards to myself. It was really hard to stand for that long. When I'd walk around a little, my legs were so stiff and my back so achy...but again, that's me and has nothing to do with the show itself.

Oh, and I got a friggin' speeding ticket on the way home. My first ever. Way to end a perfectly fine evening! Just glad I'd stuck to Coca-cola and water during the show.
 

Ebook publishing - a success story

Just to post a counterpoint regarding my ebook sales, check out author Amanda Hocking's numbers, which she talks about here.

To quickly summarize, she's sold well over 12,000 ebooks so far in just December alone (through the 8th!)

Holy cow! Congrats to Amanda!

Bukowski

I'm a fan of Charles Bukowski's poetry. I'm not an expert on it by any means, but I've read maybe three or four of his collections - my favorite being Love is a Dog from Hell (which contains one of my favorite poems of all time called 'Writing 101' if my memory serves correctly.) I also loved the movie Barfly (with Micky Rourke playing Hank - the character modeled after Bukowski.)

I don't think I would've liked Bukowski himself if I would've met him. He seemed like an asshole - a belligerent, drunken lout, quick to anger and get in fights. I saw a YouTube video where he got really abusive with his girlfriend, and it was rather despicable. If I would've hung out with him at a bar, I would've been uncomfortable - worried about saying the wrong thing that might set him off, worried about laughing at the right jokes, nodding at the right points during his pontifications.

But damn, I love his poetry. And I don't really think it could've come from someone who hadn't lived the way Bukowski had. I don't think it could've come from someone who wasn't a belligerent, abusive drunken asshole. His poetry is raw, crude, and brutal and at times sublime - like the man. But the man I could do without. The poetry - not so much.

What's the lesson there? Is there any? Does there need to be one? I don't know. But I do know that his poetry has shown me the beauty that can arise from the most painful and honest of words, sentences, and stories. Maybe that's lesson enough.
 

My experience with epublishing so far - ups and downs

The ups of self epublishing:
 
Almost as close as you're going to get to immediate gratification in the publishing world. You format your book. Design a cover. Upload it, and in a day people can buy it. The royalty structure is very nice. Through Amazon, for example, you can price your book at 2.99, and you receive a royalty of 2.05. Smashwords is fairly similar. It's been a great way to squeeze more money out of my short stories. Most of them have already earned money through being published in mags - some as podcasts - and so have been sorta vetted. Now they're bringing in a little more cash.

The downs:

You need to market your butt off. While it is said that even with a traditional publisher, you still need to do much of your own publicity, they still have way more distribution channels than we do. They can get your books in stores, they have catalogs, well-maintained websites, not to mention publicists, a marketing department, editors, connections, etc, etc. If self-pubbing your ebook, you have to do all of that yourself (or pay someone else to help out with it.) Also, for all the time you spend on this, you're not writing.

Nearly immediate self-gratification. While this can have its ups, it also has its downs. You grow accustomed to it. And you know mathematically speaking that more product out there equals more money. This can make you rush things - put out stuff that perhaps should've had a few more passes through the editorial process. Even if you have enough discipline to make sure your novel has aged enough and been thoroughly edited, it makes it hard to fathom the reality of then trying to get something traditionally published. This has become a bit of a conundrum for me. My first two novels that I epubbed had made their rounds to many publishers with no luck. They had gained some enthusiasm from some pros, so I feel confident they don't suck, and I feel fine having released them myself - although there still remains that stigma of being self-pubbed. Perhaps not as much as before, but it's still there.

My YA novel, Snow Burn had almost been accepted by a big publisher - it had made it through the first few rounds - the editors loved it - but their marketing department put the kybosh on it. While heartbreaking, I should've dusted it off and kept on sending it out. Instead, I feel like I rushed it into ebook format. But see, now I'm used to the instant gratification, and to go through the subbing again - the possible years and years and years...

I have another novel - a middle grade novel, which has also made more rounds to traditional pubs, and has been getting good things said about it, but no luck. I'm torn between putting it up as an ebook or continuing to send it out. Traditional publishing still accounts for the majority of the market. But if I put it out now, it could potentially be making money for me, whereas if I continue to sub it, the process could take years. However, if a traditional publisher picks it up, there's an advance, distribution, etc...

These are some of the things to think about before epubbing your own work. There have certainly been some wonderful success stories, and I think this market is growing. But the competition is also growing. It's easy to get lost in the morass of epubs, and there's that constant struggle to claw your way out.
 
 

My experiences in e-publishing - the hard data

Inspired by JA Konrath's ebook sales through Amazon, I started making a bunch of my work available for the Amazon Kindle in May, with 3 short story collections, 1 omnibus of all three of collections in one, and 1 novel - Death Rhythm (for a total of five offerings.) Konrath was (and still is) making thousands of dollars a month - in fact, he's in the TENS of thousands per month now. That first month, I made just shy of $35. I'm certainly happy for Joe's success, and I wasn't under any illusions that I would make anywhere near his amounts, I'd just like to let people know that he's much more the exception than the rule.

In June, I added a stand-alone short story, 'Taking Care of Katrina,' and also made the same works available through Smashwords, which offers them in various formats for the other types of ereaders out there. In June I made $48 on Amazon.

In July, Amazon changed their royalty structure a bit, increasing authors' royalties from 35% to 70% for items priced between 2.99 and 9.99 (otherwise the royalty amount remained at 35%.) I added my novel Northwoods Deep, and my books in Smashwords started being distributed to B&N, Kobo, Sony and Apple (another benefit of Smashwords, along with being able to manage coupons through them). In July, I sold an even 100 books through Amazon and made $109. August I made $123 on Amazon, Sept $144. I also added my YA novel Snow Burn in Sept (although this has hardly sold at all). Oct and Nov saw a decrease ($108 and $101 respectively) but Dec has had a decent start. Since Smashwords' distribution channels report quarterly, I only know my sales though them thru September, which was around $60.

So - so far, I'm closing in on $800 total thru today for ebook sales. I'm very happy with this - the extra cash is certainly nice and I can certainly use it. It puts gas in the car.

I know a few folks who started close to the same time as me and are making much more on fewer offerings. The very talented David Dalglish is selling thousands of ebooks/month, as is Dave McKafee (and they both deserve it) but I think my experience may be a little more typical. There are also those only selling a couple books a month.

I'll talk more about my thoughts on this experience in my next post.
 

Ebonies and Ivories

I took piano lessons when I was a youngun' for about a year. I was probably a 1st or 2nd grader - can't remember exactly - but I wasn't the best about practicing, and often fumbled my way guiltily through the lessons, knowing that my piano teacher knew I hadn't practiced. But she was nice enough, and when she assigned me a page or two in the piano instruction book, she made a check-mark with a pencil, and when I completed that exercise she would write her initials on that check-mark. There was something incredibly satisfying about the way she moved the pencil over the paper, the way she initialed those check-marks. Hard to describe why - it was more than just the fact that I'd completed the exercise.

Anyway, though I only took a year of piano, I learned my notes and a lot about dynamics and rhythm and counting, and it helped me immensely when I took up percussion in the school band.

So now both my kids are taking piano lessons, and it's been so fun helping them practice. Paige isn't thrilled about practicing, but she doesn't hate it. Zach seems to like it in short bursts - we'll go over a piece, then he'll run around a bit, or turn sideways on the piano bench and lay across my lap for a minute or two and insist I tickle him, then it's back to work! *whip-crack*

Their piano teacher is very good with both kids. I noticed she assigns pages of their lessons by making an X in pencil on them, and when they complete that lesson, she write her initials across the X. I wonder if my kids find it as satisfying in the same way that I used to.
 

2011 - Nut Crackin' Time

I'm very happy to have had a story published in Weird Tales in 2002, as well as having had a story accepted for publication in Cemetery Dance (which I hope will come out within a year or so, but who knows.) Those magazines were 2 of a handful of pubs I really, really wanted to appear in (really really!) and I'd like to really make an effort in 2011 to get in the other mags that I feel would be nice achievements (really!). Those magazines are The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine, Alfred Hitchcock Mystery Magazine, & Fantasy Magazine - and I'd love to get in Weird Tales again. I'd also love to get accepted by Cemetery Dance again, but they've been playing catch-up for quite a while now (although they seem to be slowly getting back on track.)

So anyway, that's my fantasy list for 2011! If I crack any of those nuts, my celebratory yawp may just also crack the space/time continuum.