Michael Thal's Blog, page 2

3 Things You Shouldn’t Say to Your Children

Here's a letter I recently received from a distraught mom:
The other day I was preparing lunch for my kids while
launching a new advertising campaign. My twin daughters were asking all sorts
of questions and complaining about each other. I also had a throbbing headache.
Finally, when they both entered the kitchen pointing fingers at each other I
erupted like a Hawaiian volcano, “That’s it! I’ve had it with you two. Get out
of my sight or I’ll tan your backsides.” The girls thrust thumbs into mouths and
wept.

Please give me a few tips on what not to say to my kids to
avoid foot-mouth disease.

All parents say the wrong thing sometimes. The trick is to
catch yourself doing it and change your behavior. We don’t want our children to
feel angry, confused, or hurt due to our actions. Here are three behaviors you
should avoid.

Threats

Let’s start with your threat. When you make a threat you
need to follow through or your children won’t trust you. Threatening physical
punishment is also a no-no. The only reason you threatened the girls was due to
your own frustration. I suggest you don’t multi-task and handle one project at
a time. When you become overwhelmed by your twins’ behavior, redirect them to
another project, remove them from a situation, or give them a time out.

Telling your child how to feel

Telling a child, “Don’t be sad,” or “Don’t be a baby,” when
tears flow sends a message that your daughter’s emotions aren’t valid. Rather
than denying your child the right to feel a particular way, acknowledge the
emotion. For example, if one of your girls runs from snakes, say, “I know
adults who are frightened of snakes, too. I’ll stand here with you until that
snake crawls away.”

When an adult names real feelings you provide a vocabulary
for a child to express herself. You are also educating that boy or girl about
the meaning of empathy.

Name-calling

As a child, I’d trip over my two feet and scrape a knee. My
mom would good naturally say, “You’re such a klutz,” and laugh. My mom meant
well, but labeling a child can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, and if said
enough times, the child believes it. It is no wonder I rarely tried out for
sports or other activities requiring sure-footedness. Instead of criticizing
the child, address the behavior leaving the adjectives out of your vocabulary.
For example, Mom could have said, “Next time, tie your shoes before you go
chasing after the ball.” This would have been preferable to the “klutz” label.

We all say things we later regret. The key is to be willing
to learn from our mistakes and to grow as a parent.

Learn more about Michael Thal on his website. 

 

Venice Beach for Summer Fun

LAUSD is on
summer break. So let me tell you about my favorite beach. Abbot
Kinney, a land developer, founded Venice Beach in 1905. The area became a
magnet for tourists worldwide. Arnold Schwarzenegger got discovered at Muscle
Beach and modern skateboarding was born there. As you stroll along the 3-mile
boardwalk, expect to see the weird and unexpected. Numerous sidewalk cafes
boarder the way accompanied by Henna tattoos, boutiques and Jamaican crafts.
Need medical marijuana? You came to the right place.

Here are just a
few of the things you can do on the Venice Beach Boardwalk:

Fishing:

Venice Fishing Pier is 1,310 feet long with a 120 feet
diameter circular end providing plenty of room for fishermen. The fishing pier
offers a few innovations, too. There are double railings at the end of the
pier. The bottom railing is for anglers to rest their slimy bait, while the top
is for visitors to rest their arms.

  Paddle Tennis:

The nine Paddle Tennis Courts are well known to top paddle
tennis players. Extremely busy on weekends, you may find it easier to get a
court during the weekday. This year, the US Open Doubles Championship will be held September 15-16.

Weight Training:

Muscle Beach Venice was
established in 1951. During its early days it was called “The Pen”. By the
1970s it became known as Muscle Beach because few people remembered the
earlier Santa Monica location two miles north of this site near the Santa
Monica Pier. The gym’s focus is on weight training, so plan on building those
biceps, triceps, and quads.

 Basketball:

Venice
Basketball Courts is the place to shoot some hoops. The courts are renowned
across the country for their high level of street ball where many NBA players
developed their craft and were recruited. There are three full courts, six
hoops for daytime games. The movie, “White Men Can’t Jump,” was filmed here.

Skateboarding:

The
Venice Beach Skate Park is a 16,000-square-foot facility that cost $2.4
million. The skate park has four main sections: a deep pool, street terrain
course, a snake run and a flow pool. The unique design brings together street
and vertical skating. This permits skateboarders to flow in and out of the
different styles. The deep pool provides a maximum differential of 9 feet so
a skater can pick up lots of speed in a single entry/exit run. The street
terrain course simulates the traditional street environment where
skateboarding first evolved.

Venice Beach Gawk and Walk Tour is an app you can download to your iPhone that will give
you more history and information about this exciting beach day experience.
You can also keep up with upcoming events on the Venice Beach Events Calendar.

Learn more about Michael Thal on his website.

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Teen Hearing Loss

Do you often have to repeat yourself to your teen? You’re
not alone. A recent study sponsored by the American Medical Association (AMA)
shows 20% of American teens have some form of hearing loss. The culprit could
be “ear buds” teens attach to themselves when listening to iPods or other MP3
players.

When I was a teen I went to high volume concerts listening
to bands like the Bee Gees or the Carpenters (my personal favorite). My
exposure was for ninety minutes until I could afford another ticket. Kids today
listen to music plugged directly into their auditory canals for a much longer
time than my generation endured.

Brian Fligor, an audiologist at Children’s Hospital Boston
found that more than half of the AMA study’s 200 college students listened to
music at 85 decibels or greater. This is like taking your TV volume control and
putting it at full blast. Listening to music at that high level will damage the
microscopic hair cells within the inner ear. The result: permanent hearing
loss.

What can you do? Take your teens to an audiologist and have their
hearing checked. Encourage your children to turn down the volume control of their
iPods. If they refuse, I strongly suggest you enroll them in an American Sign
Language class. They’ll need it.

Michael Thal is the author of Goodbye Tchaikovsky the story of a teen violinist becoming deaf.