Kevin DeYoung's Blog, page 27

Solomon’s Twitter Guidelines

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Twitter can be great. I often find good articles, good lines, and good laughs during my daily Twitter scroll. But Twitter—like any other social media outlet—can be a cesspool of vanity and vice.

I’ve probably broken these rules more than I realize, but here’s how I think about what I should and shouldn’t tweet. A big shout out to King Solomon for his help is putting these 25 guidelines together.

1. Think before you tweet, and don’t be afraid to just delete. There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing (Prov. 12:18)

2. It’s okay to unfollow some people, block them, or ignore them. Leave the presence of a fool, for there you do not meet words of knowledge (Prov. 14:7)

3. Turn the volume down from 11. Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly (Prov. 14:29).

4. Don’t make things worse. A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention (15:18).

5. Their platform is pointless if it makes an end run around humility. The fear of the LORD is instruction in wisdom, and humility comes before honor (Prov. 15:33).

6. There is nothing impressive about being a hothead. Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city (Prov. 16:32).

7. Make good news public, and keep bad news as private as possible. Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends (Prov. 17:9).

8. Most Twitter brawls are a waste of time. A rebuke goes deeper into a man of understanding than a hundred blows into a fool (Prov. 17:10).

9. Don’t mess around with trolls. Let a man meet a she-bear robbed of her cubs rather than a fool in his folly (Prov. 17:12).

10. Seriously, don’t get into fights on Twitter. The beginning of strife is like letting out water, so quit before the quarrel breaks out (Prov. 17:14).

11. Just because you think it, doesn’t mean you have to say it. Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent (Prov. 17:28).

12. Get the facts first. If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame (Prov. 18:13).

13. Don’t rush to get your hot take out there as soon as possible. The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him (Prov. 18:17).

14. Relax, it’s probably not a big deal. Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense (Prov. 19.:11).

15. Learn from those who have something to teach. Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future (Prov. 19:20).

16. There is no shame in ignoring your mentions. It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling (Prov. 20:3).

17. Think twice (or three or four or five times) before you make a statement or an accusation that could ruin a person’s reputation. A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold (Prov. 22:1).

18. Don’t go chasing waterfalls. Let not your heart envy sinners, but continue in the fear of the LORD all the day (Prov. 23:17).

19. Don’t embarrass your Mom and Dad. Let your father and mother be glad; let her who bore you rejoice (Prov. 23:25).

20. Be concerned if you are happy over bad news. Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles (Prov. 24:17).

21. Haters gonna hate. Fret not yourself because of evildoers, and be not envious of the wicked, for the evil man has no future; the lamp of the wicked will be put out (Prov. 24:19-20).

22. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him (Prov. 26:12).

23. Stay out of trouble. Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears (Prov. 26:17).

24. Don’t exaggerate the failings of your enemies or the successes of your friends. A lying tongue hates its victims, and a flattering mouth works ruin (Prov. 26:28).

25. For heaven’s sake, stop retweeting compliments and embedding quotations about your awesomeness. Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips (Prov. 27:2).

Why Pastors Should Work Hard to Write Well

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Pastors should work hard to become clear, competent writers.

That’s the thesis. Here’s the outline: two caveats, three reasons, four suggestions.

Two Caveats

Let’s get the caveats out of the way first.

1. I don’t think all pastors—or even many pastors—need to be writers. This isn’t about getting published or writing with the verve of J. I. Packer or C. S. Lewis. This is about basic clarity and competence.

2. A man could be an excellent pastor without ever writing a word. We have no record of anything Jesus wrote! But I am assuming that the pastor reading this blog works in a context of high literacy where books and papers and emails are readily available and written communication (of various kinds) is expected.

Three Reasons

Isn’t the pastor’s job to preach sermons, do hospital visits, and spend time with the people? Why does writing matter?

1. Writing takes up a lot of the pastor’s time. You may not realize it, but pastors have to write every day. I’m sure every pastor has a love/hate (mostly hate?) relationship with email. There was a day last week when I wrote 53 emails. Many of those were short, but I hope none of them was sloppy. And that’s just the beginning of what a pastor must write. There are newsletters, reports, prayers, studies, sermons, letters, cards, notes, and memos. We work with words; that’s a lot of what we do. So let’s work hard to do it well. Our ministry will be more effective if we can communicate clearly and poignantly through the written word.

2. Good writing promotes better thinking. Yes, there are skills involved in writing well. It takes practice. Few people are born with natural writing ability, and most pastors could be pretty good with the right training and effort. There are tricks of the trade to make our writing less clumsy. And yet, more than not, if our writing is muddled, it’s because our thinking is muddled. C. S. Lewis once said that good writing is simply a matter of knowing exactly what you want to say and then saying it. The problem for many of us is that we don’t really know what we are trying to say. Writing exposes the flawed connections, undeveloped arguments, and presumed logic in our thinking. Write well in order to think well.

3. Writing is essential in defending the truth. Much can be done to promote and defend the faith through oral arguments. But for most of us, there will come a time when the truth will be won or lost by the construction of sentences and paragraphs. When we are knee deep in a doctrinal controversy at church or in the thick of a theological squabble in the denomination, we will have to rely on words. Written words. Those who can write—not professionally, not brilliantly, just clearly—will be heard. Those who cannot, won’t.

Four Suggestions

So what can be done to help pastors write well?

1. Seminaries can insist on better writing. Most students can’t write, at least not at first. Even graduate students are often ill-prepared to write cogently and clearly. That means seminaries must do remedial training. Professors should help students not only learn the material, but also learn how to articulate what they receive. We are in the communication business after all. Students need to understand basic points of grammar, how to structure an argument, and the difference between weak and active verbs.

2. Denominations can insist on better writing. I’ve been a part of student exams where seminarians are given a free pass on writing and speaking because, “He’s just not great at communicating.” Well, that’s kind of what pastors do! Let me repeat: people can learn. Students can improve. We aren’t talking one strike and you’re out. But I’m old-fashioned enough to think future pastors can do better than bullet points on an ordination exam.

3. Pastors can insist on better writing from themselves. When people ask me for writing advice I usually say two things. One, read more. Two, work harder at the the writing you’re already doing. Don’t settle for half-baked Facebook posts or slipshod emails. If you have to write, why not practice doing it better? Get in the habit of editing yourself, no matter the form of written communication. You can’t expect to write well in the study if you practice writing poorly everywhere else.

4. We can ask others to insist on better writing. Notice, I didn’t say the church should badger their pastor to write better. Pastors get enough flak already. But if a pastor wants to grow in this area, he must seek out trustworthy, honest feedback. We are often blind to our own ambiguities and shortcuts as writers. Even the best writers need outside input. Few of us will get the feedback we need if we don’t humbly ask for it.

Yes, You Can Please Your Heavenly Father

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Sometimes Christians can give the impression that pleasing God is a sub-biblical motivation.

“We’re totally justified,” someone might say. “We’re totally accepted. If we tell our kids to please God, we are just giving them more law. We are training them to be little moralists. We’re discipling them to think of God as a kind of Santa Claus keeping a naughty-and-nice list.”

Obviously (or maybe not so obviously), that’s not how God wants us to parent, because that’s not what God is like with his children. But don’t let the potential abuse of this “pleasing God” language lead you to suppress what Scripture clearly says. One of the principal motivations for holiness is the pleasure of God.

Colossians 1:10: Those who bear fruit in every good work and increase in the knowledge of God are pleasing to God.
Romans 12:1: Presenting your body as a living sacrifice pleases God.
Romans 14:18: Looking out for your weaker brother pleases God.
1 Thessalonians 2:4: Teaching the word in truth pleases God.
1 Timothy 2:1–3: Praying for your governing authorities pleases God.
1 Timothy 5:4: Supporting family members in need pleases God.
Hebrews 13:16: Sharing with others pleases God.
1 John 3:22: Keeping the commandments pleases God.

Over and over, more than a dozen times in the New Testament, we have this motivation. We ought to be generous. We ought to be godly. We ought to love and live a certain way because it pleases God.

Some of us have taken justification to mean we no longer have a dynamic relationship with our heavenly Father, as if God is indifferent to our sin and our obedience. But Scripture says we can grieve the Holy Spirit, and in Hebrews 12 we see that a father disciplines those he loves. God is not pleased when we sin. Or, as John Calvin puts it, God can be “wondrously angry with his children.”

This doesn’t mean God is ever against us as his justified people. He is always for us. But just as a parent can be upset with a child, so God can consider our actions grievous and discipline us accordingly.

If that kind of dynamism discourages you, consider the flip side. We can also please God with our efforts. Through the finished work of Christ, our good deeds are rendered delightful to God. When we hear the language of “pleasing God,” some of us panic because we only relate to God as a judge. But he is also our Father.

If you think, I have to please God with my obedience because he is my judge, you will undermine the good news of justification by faith alone. But you ought to reason this way: “I’ve been acquitted. The Lord is my righteousness. I am justified fully and adopted into the family of God for all eternity. I am so eager to please my Father and live for him.”

It’s good to want to protect justification, but don’t do it at the expense of a dynamic relationship with your heavenly Father. There is a difference between saying to your child, “God is watching over you, and when you don’t share your toys, you make baby Jesus cry,” and saying, “God is our Father, and when you listen to what Mommy and Daddy say and you try to do what they want you to do, it makes God really happy. He gets a smile on his face when he sees you trying to do the right thing.”

That’s what a dozen New Testament texts teach us. It’s how God means to motivate all of us.

This article originally appeared at Desiring God.

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What Constitutes a Pastoral Approach?

What does it mean to be “pastoral”?

I’m a pastor. Have been for almost 15 years. I love my job. I get to serve the God I love and work with the things our God loves most deeply: his word and his church. As a local church pastor, I am 100% in favor of being “pastoral.”

So long as the word means what the Bible means for it to mean.

When I see the adjective “pastoral” placed in front of a noun it seems to me the word is almost always meant to convey, in contemporary parlance, a truncated set of virtues. A “pastoral approach” implies gentleness, patience, and a lot of listening. If someone is “pastoral” he is good with people, sensitive, and a calming influence. “Pastoral care” means comforting the sick, visiting widows, and lending a shoulder to cry on. These are all good examples of being a good pastor. Seriously. I am all for all of these virtues, and some pastors are sadly lacking in many of them.

But these examples do not exhaust what the Bible means by “pastoral ministry.” We should not let the soft virtues of pastoral care eclipse the hard virtues so that a “pastoral approach” becomes synonymous with inoffensive, therapeutic, and comforting. We don’t want to think of “pastoral” as what we do when we avoid being preachy and theological. Pastors must be patient and kind, but “pastoral” is not another way of saying nice guy.

So what is a “pastoral approach”? By definition, a shepherd is pastoral. That’s what the word means. So think about what shepherds are like.

According to Psalm 23, a good shepherd feeds, leads, guides, protects, and preserves. Shepherds in the ancient world were “remarkable and broadly capable persons.” As Timothy Laniak observes, “They were known for independence, resourcefulness, adaptability, courage and vigilance. Their profession cultivated a capacity for attentiveness, self-sacrifice, and compassion” (Shepherds After My Own Heart, 57). Shepherd leadership involves the use of authority, expressions of compassion, and protection of the flock.

A “pastoral approach” will often entail sympathy and sensitivity, but the adjective “pastoral” must not be reduced to these things. The work of the shepherd encompasses everything from watching little lambs, ordering the sheep, and fending off wolves.

At its most foundational meaning, pastoral ministry “is the subtle blend of authority and care” (quoting Tidball, 247). Above all, the shepherd aims to serve the flock, even at great personal cost to himself. The shepherd is accountable for the sheep as their “protector, provider, and guide.” He must be the type of leader who can rule with a rod of iron (Psalm 2) and tenderly carry the nursing ewes (Isaiah 40).

To be “pastoral” is to be tough and tender, courageous and comforting. The adjective must be sufficiently broad as to make sense of the broadness of the biblical imagery. Being pastoral is different than active listening combined with non-offensiveness. A truly pastoral approach exercises authority with compassion, provides protection through self-sacrifice, and looks after the weak by offering leadership that is strong.

The Two Things We Must Say About the Transgender Debate

The challenge with the transgender debate is that Christians must say two very different things at the same time.

To those pushing an agenda that says your bathroom is my bathroom and your gender is whatever you want it to be, we want to say:

This is absurd. Patently absurd. There is no scientific reason, no justice reason, no internally consistent reason to think we can be boys or girls just by declaring it so. In our saner moments we know this to be true. No one would allow me to “become” Asian or African American even if I thought that’s who I was deep down. There are facts about my biology that cannot be denied. Why is gender open to self-defining while race and ethnicity are not?

As many others have pointed out, the logic of our transgender moment simply does not hold together. Are male and female distinct categories so that we should we be pushing “equal work for equal pay” and celebrating every “first woman to do X” achievement? Or are the categories completely malleable so that even if the talk of binary gender norms is offensive? Two nights ago I watched a few minutes of the Oscars and then flipped to watch some of the SEC Indoor Track and Field Championships on ESPN. It struck me that many of the people attending the Oscars and many of the universities represented on the track would fully applaud the transgender agenda. And yet, here they are with their antiquated categories of Best Supporting Actor and Best Supporting Actress and their old fashioned ideas of men and women running the mile in totally separate races.

I live in East Lansing, Michigan. I love my city. It’s a great place to live. It’s also a university town that tries to be at the cutting edge of progressive cultural trends. Which is why the local school board has pushed for students to be able to use the bathroom of the gender they identify with. At the same time, when I go to the community center–operated by the city of East Lansing–there is a sign on the men’s locker room stating clearly that girls should not be brought into the locker room (but can accompany their parents in the family bathroom). So does biology matter or not? Is it a matter of safety to keep boys and girls separate or is it matter of safe space to let boys use the girls facilities if they think they are girls? The idea that the whole world must accommodate my declared sense of self is soul-destroying, culture-poisoning folly and deserves to be treated as such.

That’s what’s must be said about the arguments and the agenda.

But that’s not all that must be said. Because there are people–men and women made in God’s image–who feel all sorts of confusion about who they are and what they want to be.

To those struggling with feelings they don’t understand and a sense of self that feels horribly unsettled, we want to say:

This happens. All the time. Not necessarily with gender, but human identity. We all struggle to figure out who we are, especially in our growing up years. Sometimes that means we don’t know how to makes sense of our own bodies and our own sexuality. We don’t want anyone to feel unsafe in a bathroom. So let’s figure out how to have more unisex single stalls. Let’s provide well-trained, warmhearted counselors. Let’s make sure kids are not made fun of for being tomboys or for being sensitive or for being immigrants or for being Muslim or for being Christian or for being whatever.

And let’s make sure we aren’t constantly in full-on culture warrior mode. We should empathize with those who genuinely feel threatened, scared, or all alone. Standing up for the truth doesn’t mean we have to say everything we think in every situation. It’s okay to be tactful, respectful, and even keep our mouths shut at times. Charging ahead with zeal is not an excuse for trampling over people.

The Christian response to the transgender debate depends on whether we are talking about the debate or about a transgender person. I understand the two cannot be completely divorced, but they are not the same thing either. The ideas bandied about in the public square are often ridiculous. The people struggling with gender identity are not. This is what makes the controversy extra difficult for Christians. As a pastor, I need to shepherd a flock that faces pressures from a world which is trying every day to remake them in its image (Rom. 12:2). But I also need to shepherd a flock that likely has sheep in it that wonder how they can live a holy and acceptable life to God when they don’t feel like (or simply don’t like) the person they see in the mirror (Rom 12:1).

That means while we do not have patience for secular agendas, we must have patience for struggling people. We may be quick with rebuttals in the public square, but we must be quick with a listening ear in the neighbor’s kitchen. It means we must show private care in a way that is not confused with public indifference, and make known our public concern in a way that is not confused with private disdain. We have two different things to say depending on the context–not contradictory things, but complementary things the world is eager to confuse. The agenda ought to be lampooned. The people ought to be loved.

Monday Morning Humor

Another obvious Oscar snub.

Actions picks up around 2:00.

A Modest Proposal: Don’t Dump Religion

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I know I’m tilting at windmills here. The die has already been cast. The ship has already sailed. The train has already left the station. Pick your well-worn metaphor.

But I have a modest proposal nonetheless: let’s not write and speak as if “religion” is the thing that good Christians are always against.

You know what I mean. Maybe you’ve spoken this way before. Maybe I have too. Religion is bad. Religion is about rules. Religion is about earning God’s favor. Religion is about trying; Christianity is about trusting. Religion is about reaching up to God; the gospel is about God reaching down to us. I understand the contrast. I agree with all that we want to affirm with such statements.

But is throwing “religion” under the bus the best way to make the point?

Consider the following:

1. This is a relatively new way for Christians to speak. It’s not hard to find examples. Calvin wrote the Institutes of the Christian Religion. Jonathan Edwards wrote on Religious Affections. I can tell you from studying the 18th century in depth that loads of good Christians wrote about “religion” or “true religion” or “real religion.” Our forefathers were well aware of religious hypocrisy and false religious systems, but they didn’t equate “religion” with works-righteousness. One could read, for example, John Witherspoon’s sermon on “The Nature and Extent of Visible Religion” from Matthew 5:16 and see that religion was not used as an antithesis to gospel.

2. The Bible does not use “religion” as an automatically pejorative term. “In anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless. Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world” (James 1:26-27). According to Scripture, religion can please God. That’s not how many of us talk.

3. In castigating “religion,” we may be unloading more baggage than we realize. I understand the apologetic reasons for contrasting religion with gospel. People may think Christianity is about a bunch of hypocrites pretending to be good enough so that God will like them. That’s positively not Christianity and not the gospel. So I get the impulse to throw off “religion.” But people also equate commandments and doctrines and institutions and church leaders with religion. That’s why people want to be “spiritual but religious.” And yet, Christianity is a religion in this sense; we do believe in commandments, doctrines, institutions, and church leaders. I fear we can give people the wrong impression, and affirm the unbiblical instincts, when we quickly join them in dismissing religion.

I’m not trying to police every tweetable turn of the phrase or every bit of gospel contextualization. Plenty of people I love and respect have dumped “religion” and dumped on “religion.” I just wonder if speaking of “true religion” or “real religion” (as older writers did) is a better way to go. Why not use the word in a more neutral sense as the Bible does? Why not rail against man-made religion instead of all religion? Why not find another word besides “religion” to be our anti-gospel boogeyman? You never know when we might be glad to have the old word around for a new day.

A Modest Proposal: Don’t Dump Religion

Lightstock

I know I’m tilting at windmills here. The die has already been cast. The ship has already sailed. The train has already left the station. Pick your well worn metaphor.

But I have a modest proposal nonetheless: let’s not write and speak as if “religion” is the thing that good Christians are always against.

You know what I mean. Maybe you’ve spoken this way before. Maybe I have too. Religion is bad. Religion is about rules. Religion is about earning God’s favor. Religion is about trying; Christianity is about trusting. Religion is about reaching up to God; the gospel is about God reaching down to us. I understand the contrast. I agree with all that we want to affirm with such statements.

But is throwing “religion” under the bus the best way to make the point?

Consider the following:

1. This is a relatively new way for Christians to speak. It’s not hard to find examples. Calvin wrote the Institutes of the Christian Religion. Jonathan Edwards wrote on Religious Affections. I can tell you from studying the 18th century in depth, that loads of good Christians wrote about “religion” or “true religion” or “real religion.” Our forefathers were well aware of religious hypocrisy and false religious systems, but they didn’t equate “religion” with works righteousness. One could read, for example, John Witherspoon’s sermon on “The Nature and Extent of Visible Religion” from Matthew 5:16 and see that religion was not used as an antithesis to gospel.

2. The Bible does not use “religion” as an automatically pejorative term. “In anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless. Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world” (James 1:26-27). According to Scripture, religion can please God. That’s not how many of us talk.

3. In castigating “religion,” we may be unloading more baggage than we realize. I understand the apologetic reasons for contrasting religion with gospel. People may think Christianity is about a bunch of hypocrites pretending to be good enough so that God will like them. That’s positively not Christianity and not the gospel. So I get the impulse to throw off “religion.” But people also equate commandments and doctrines and institutions and church leaders with religion. That’s why people want to be “spiritual but religious.” And yet, Christianity is a religion in this sense; we do believe in commandments, doctrines, institutions, and church leaders. I fear we can give people the wrong impression, and affirm the unbiblical instincts, when we quickly join them in dismissing religion.

I’m not trying to police every tweetable turn of the phrase or every bit of gospel contextualization. Plenty of people I love and respect have dumped “religion” and dumped on “religion.” I just wonder if speaking of “true religion” or “real religion” (as older writers did) is a better way to go. Why not use the word in a more neutral sense as the Bible does? Why not rail against man made religion instead of all religion? Why not find another word besides religion to be our anti-gospel boogeyman? You never know when we might be glad to have the old word around for a new day.

How Can Our Church Reach Out to the Gay Community?

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As someone who speaks from time to time on issues related to sexuality, and as a pastor who has written a book on homosexuality, I’ve been asked the question many times: “How can our church reach out to the gay community?”

I’m never sure how to answer the question. For starters, I’m no authority on “reaching the gay community.” Our church has always had men and women in it who struggle with same-sex attraction. We have some good stories to tell and some disappointing stories, but experts we certainly are not.

The other reason I’m hesitant to answer the question is that it’s one of those questions that can only be answered with more questions.

What do you mean by the gay community? Are you thinking of Christians who struggle with same-sex attraction? Or do you have in mind a particular neighborhood where a number of LGBT persons live and work?

What do you mean by reaching out? Do you have your theology squared away? Do you have a biblical view of marriage and sexuality? Do you have a biblical view of the image of God? Are you reaching out to condemn, reaching out to be open and affirming, reaching out to share the gospel, or reaching out to make a friend?

What do you mean by our church? Are you hoping to start an official church ministry? Do you expect your Sunday services to change? Or are you thinking of what you and a few other members want to do?

After clearing up those definitional issues, there are other questions to ask.

Why do you want to reach this community? Everyone needs the gospel, so why do you feel led to minister to LGBT persons? Are they your friends, co-workers, neighbors, and family members, or are you hoping for street cred and a cultural apologetic? What relationships do you have currently have with people who identify as gay or lesbian? How has God helped you develop a heart for those who struggle with same sex attraction?

What are things like in your church community? Do people know how to speak the truth in love? Does the preacher only speak of the LGBT community in adversarial tones? Will church members think of those with same-sex attraction as an alien people or mainly as people like them who have joys and sorrows and sins and struggles? Who in the church has the gift of hospitality?

And what about you? Are you open about your own sin and your need for a Savior? What have you repented of lately? Are you mainly looking to love or mainly looking to get something by loving these people? Are these people only these people, or are they individuals made in the image of God who need faith and repentance, justification and sanctification, love and friendship, warning and assurance?

Don’t get me wrong. I think “reaching out to the gay community” can be a wonderful thing. But we must be clear in our own hearts about the why and how of what we’re doing. We shouldn’t expect people to be eagerly awaiting the church to “reach” them. And we shouldn’t expect the reaching to go anywhere without the Spirit of Christ working with us, the gospel of Christ coming from us, and the love of Christ—shown in hospitality and friendship—flowing through us.

There is no secret to reaching out to any community—gay, straight, or otherwise. Don’t be scared and don’t be stupid. Talk to people as real people. Get the gospel right and get the gospel out. Be friendly and make friends. Love people because you love them. And then tell them about the God who loves us in Christ more than we can imagine.

 

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Monday Morning Humor

When your bad day gets much worse.