Eleanor Arnason's Blog, page 14

Eagles

Today we drove south along the river and looked at eagles. One pair were chasing each other and dodging at each other. Courting, maybe. A bright, warm day. Dinner was Thai. And so to bed.

Wiscon 2

I overslept, having a complicated dream about a road trip which seemed to involve C.L.R. James. The person in question was older, thin, black and irritable, which is the way James was the one time I met him. I no longer remember where we were going (it was a group) or why, but it seemed important at the time. Given the fact was James was included, it might have been a trip to the socialist future.

I had one insight, if you can call it that, during Wiscon. All my writing lately has been finishing projects. I don't like finishing projects. I like the first draft. This suggests that I ought to allow myself a first draft now and then to keep me happy with writing

Wiscon

I'm usually exhausted by cons. Too many people. Too much input. This year I tried to pace myself, because I knew I was going to have a visit from my brother right after the con. (He flew into the Twin Cities yesterday, on his way to the West Coast.) As soon as I recover a little bit from the con, I start planning the next year. I have ideas for new panels. I have people I missed spending time with.

My brother is easy to have in town. Today we went to Target, so he could get things such as a comb, which he had forgotten to pack. Then lunch at an Indian restaurant, then all of us came back to the apartment building to take naps. Naps were followed by a light dinner at a local coffee house. We left when the incoming band began to test the sound system, came back and went to our separate places to read and be quiet.

CONvergence

I have picked up another panel at CONvergence from Lyda Morehouse, who wanted to drop off it. It's on writing career setbacks and how you deal with them. I used to do a panel at Minicon titled "Psychological Survival for Science Fiction Writers," but gave it up after a couple of people told me they had left the room in tears. No one wants to hear how difficult a writing career can be. So I actually have an idea of the things I want to say.

Mostly, decide what you want out of writing, and then use that as a measure. Do you want self-satisfaction, pro sales, critical acclaim, a cult following, vast fame, pots of money,? If you discover you can't get what you want, consider modifying your goals. Goals should be a stretch, but they shouldn't be impossible.

Take care of yourself: exercise, eat well, avoid illegal drugs and large amounts of alcohol. If you feel depressed, see a doctor. There are medications that can help.

Find good friends and readers and listen to them. People who don't listen rarely become good writers. (Emily Dickinson did, but she is a special case.) Join a writing group. Most important of all, celebrate every good thing that happens: a good panel, a sale, a good review, a person coming up to you and mumbling, "I liked your story." One of the the best things about the Wydsmiths, my writing group, is that every time something good happens in your writing career, you have to buy coffee for the rest of the group. This forces even dour people like me to celebrate.

Life is short, and writing is often difficult. Celebrate everything you can.

Find things in your life that give you pleasure other than being on the New York Times bestseller list. You shouldn't rely on a single thing for happiness.

Upcoming Cons

I'm doing only three events at Wiscon (which is Memorial Day weekend) : one panel on writing, a reading and the signout. There are two events I want to attend: Pat Murphy's midlife crisis for writers discussion and Naomi's Kritzer's nuts and bolts for midcareer writers. Otherwise, I plan to hang out on the 12th floor and talk to friends.

I am on only one panel at CONvergence (which is the weekend of the Fourth) : a panel on Georgette Heyer on Saturday afternoon. I think that's enough. I ought to kill that panel. I have Heyer close to memorized.

Speaking of age, I think I have reached the age when I don't have to self promote a lot. I yam what I yam.

Generation Gap

This is from a comment on my previous post on Wiscon:

Sadly some of the new concom folks see it as more of a generation gap than anything else. To me, it feels more like a culture clash, but I haven't been able to figure out any further detail. And of course, there's also an element of people in their twenties behaving like people in their twenties.

Yes, I very much got the sense that my problem was about generations -- and me being disregarded because I am getting up there in years. Patrick is Metis and fairly serious about his Native background. He read the note I got from Wiscon and said over and over, "They are disrespecting an elder."

There are cultures, even in the US, that respect elders. But the dominant white culture is not one. Speaking as an elder, I am in favor of valuing the old. I can think of three reasons.

(1) There actually is value in experience. What you learn from experience is different from what you learn out of books or off the Internet. One kind of learning does not replace the other. It's a good idea to have both.

(2) The old may well have achieved something with their lives. The time and hard work they've put in should be respected.

(3) Finally, the old are vulnerable. Every human should be respected, but maybe we ought to give vulnerable people some extra respect. It will make them feel good -- and help protect them.

Now, if someone is old and a jerk, they don't deserve respect beyond the minimum we give everyone. Pity, maybe.

The dominant white culture tends to dismiss the old. They are seen as out of date and useless. They no longer work. The bosses can't make money off them. (Actually, the old often work, though it's often unpaid work. They care for family members. They do volunteer work that working adults don't have time for. I've worked for a lot of nonprofits. Volunteer work is important, as is family care.)

I have been spending a fair amount of time thinking about my life and what I've achieved, and I'm not always happy with my achievements. One of the things I am proud of, more or less, is writing for decades about prejudice and against prejudice. I have always been a feminist writer, and I have been an affirmative action writer. When Wiscon ignores or dismisses what I've done, it feels painful.

The Black Widow

An essay on Age of Ultron.

I didn't like either of the Avengers movies, and the essay here nails the problem, as I see it: too many characters, too much action. However I just finished writing an essay about Guardians, which I like a lot; and I enjoy all the Marvel movies, even the ones I don't really like. Something is going on with them. I think it's the combination of action, humor and something else -- morality? Enough complexity to keep me interested? The weird over-the-top characters? I don't respond the same way to DC movies or the Marvel character movies not done by Marvel.

The humor is not only the jokes, but also the playing against superhero cliches. As Lyda Morehouse remarked, all the Avengers in Age of Ultron talk about being monsters -- except Tony Stark, who is a monster, the superhero as sociopath. Stark really plays against the Superman or Captain America trope.

Many of the objections in this essay are because the writer doesn't get things. She doesn't know about the Odinsleep, which is part of Marvel's backstory for Thor, and dismisses it as stupid. She doesn't catch the fact that Cap's dislike of rough language, and the jokes made about this, are (a) a joke and (b) a sign that Cap really is 75 years out of his time.

This brings me to the Black Widow. It's possible that Joss Whedon actually believes that women who can't have children are monsters, or actually believes Natasha thinks this. However, there is another way to look at this scene and line.

Natasha and Bruce are in Hawkeye's safe house -- his home, where his wife and children live. It's a very domestic, familial place. Natasha is interested in Bruce, and Bruce is getting tense, which is never good. When he gets upset, he turns into the Hulk, who is rage incarnate.

Bruce says he can't have children. He's a monster. (I didn't catch this line, but Lyda Morehouse said it was there.) Obviously, it would not be safe to have kids and the Hulk in the same house. It's also possible that Bruce means he's sterile, because it was radiation that turned him into the Hulk. In any case, he's very aware -- in this family home -- that he can't have a family.

Natasha tells him that she has been sterilized, and that she is a monster too. So what does she mean? That a sterile woman is a monster or that (a) she is like Bruce and (b) they don't have to worry about having children and (c) she also is a monster. She is a monster, a woman trained from childhood to murder people and very aware of way too much blood in her past. She also must be aware that Bruce needs calming down.

Anyway, I tend to see two separate statements, rather than a "if a, then b." One of the movie's problems is, it's very fast moving and character development, such as there is, happens in snippets.

Another Anthology Out

This just came out, and I have a story in it. It looks like an impressive collection. At some point, I will have to read it. But right now I have to proof the hwarhath collection manuscript.

Anthology Out

This just came out, and I have a story in it. It looks like an impressive collection. At some point, I will have to read it. But right now I have to proof the hwarhath collection manuscript.

New Anthology

I have a story in this...