P.D. Allen's Blog, page 24

Blood for Oil

Blood for Oil

PD Allen

Murderer’s Sky; Book 1 of Under Shattered Skies ~ kindle ~ paperback

(pdallen.com)Scientists at Los Alamos have made a significant breakthrough in alternative energy that will replace all imported oil within a decade and put an end to energy resource wars. The Los Alamos team, led by Dr. Felix Van Decamp, first published their results two months ago and created an immediate furor in the scientific community, the oil industry and the federal government. The current regime has already vowed to give the new technology to the oil industry so that the transition can be made as quickly and smoothly as possible. Scientists at NASA and several universities have verified the Los Alamos findings, and the President will formally turn the technology over to the oil majors in a speech tomorrow night. His speech will announce a new era of abundant energy and prosperity for all.

To put it simply, the scientists at Los Alamos have discovered how to refine oil directly from plasma. The process is inexpensive and efficient. From one pint of blood, the new technology can produce 0.58 pints of oil. So it will take about 579 pints of blood to produce one barrel of oil. The net energy profile for this process is better than that for current oil production.

The only problem right now is producing enough plasma oil to meet current US import demands. The US population is currently about 299,090,776 people. Of that, roughly half are too young, too old, or otherwise incapable of giving blood. Of the remaining 149,545,388 potential donors, the upper 10% of the population can be excluded. This leaves 134,591,000 donors. Those donors can produce 232,454 barrels of oil on a monthly basis. Considering that US oil imports are currently in the neighborhood of 12.2 million barrels per day, this plasma oil production will only offset 2% of our monthly oil imports. However, the US government has developed a plan with input from the energy industry.

First it must be recognized that we cannot end our oil imports overnight without destabilizing the world economy and provoking violent retaliations from terrorists and foreign governments. We must wean ourselves slowly from oil imports. In this light, 232,454 barrels a month is an excellent starting point.

The first step of the new program will involve education and public relations. Over the next year, the US and the emerging plasma oil industry will undertake a media blitz to help the public understand that it is their patriotic duty to give blood on a monthly basis. Within a few years, this will be followed by some sort of mandatory blood-letting legislation. There has also been talk of somehow collecting menstrual blood, though it would have to be purified and kept from drying out.

It is rumored that the government has already awarded the contract to build and maintain the nationwide plasma donation infrastructure to Halliburton. It is believed that this is why Halliburton subsidiary Kellogg, Brown & Root entered into a business arrangement with the Red Cross last month. The contract to build neighborhood plasma stations throughout the country will be subsidized by the US public for an unknown figure believed to be in the billions.

The next step in increasing plasma oil production will first involve getting the public used to the idea, and then helping them to understand how vitally important the blood oil industry will be. There is talk of conceptualizing blood donation as a sacrament to the US economy. Once the public has accepted and adjusted to this sacred duty, it will be time to move on to more intensive methods of blood gathering.

First on the list will be harvesting blood from the dead. With an annual death toll of around 6342 people per day at 10 pints of blood per body, that translates to about 3,286 barrels of plasma oil per month. There has been speculation about raising the death rate by doing away with speed limits and abolishing OSHA. On the flip side of this equation, the government will offer tax breaks and other incentives to encourage population growth.

Next will come the tapping of comatose and brain dead patients. Such patients could produce up to 2 pints per week. In a hospital setting, supplied with the proper hormones and nutrients to speed up the production of blood, a human body can produce one pint of plasma weekly for an indefinite period without putting the subject into a comatose state. Financial incentives will be offered to induce the poor to take employment as blood producers.

The US prison population is over 2 million and growing. US jails hold 1 out of every 142 US citizens. These prisoners are a drain on our national economy, but the plasma oil industry will put them to good use. It will be a very simple matter to transform our prisons into plasma production centers. The potential for 13,817 barrels of plasma oil per month from our prison industry simply cannot be overlooked.

Next will see the establishment of a blood plasma draft, also to be managed by Halliburton. After draftees have been physically assessed for their blood production potential, those who are accepted will be placed in an induced coma and brought into full production. It is felt that a draft of 10% of the US population, in addition to all the aforementioned options, will be sufficient to replace all of our demand for oil imports.

Beyond this, the industry is looking at foreign populations to increase plasma blood production even further. India and Indonesia, the world’s second and third most populous countries (behind China) are particularly attractive prospects. Economic hardship within these two nations would not make it too difficult to find donors.

So go on, buy that Hummer you had your eye on. But don’t forget to take your vitamin B complex. Don’t worry; science, industry and the government are all working together to ensure that the US lifestyle goes on unhampered.

(Note—In writing this piece, I found that if there were an effective technology for transforming plasma to oil at a ratio of 1:0.58, the entire US population at this moment would only produce about 5.1 million barrels of oil. That is 42% of our current daily oil imports of 12.2 million b/d. The entire world population would produce a little over 100 million barrels of oil, or enough oil to cover US imports for 9 days.)