Matt Wallace's Blog, page 2

KILL (the) FEED

"Whoever controls the media, the images, controls the culture."
-- Allen Ginsberg

"Smash the control images. Smash the control machine."
-- William S. Burroughs


As I believe I've mentioned before, Scott Sigler is fond of referring to me as the "trustfund baby" of podcasting, because to date I have been fond of neither voicing nor producing my own podcast fiction. At least I think that's the reason. Who knows why the deluded motherfucker says half the shit he does? Have you heard him do Soupbone? I m

Letters to UFC Ultimate Fight Night Live!

Dear Mike Goldberg's Endless Explanation of Leg Kicks,

Take the hint and LET IT GO.


Sincerely,
Joe Rogan's Oppressive Silence.

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Dear Mac Danzig,

While you were drunkenly explaining to the cop on New Year's Eve that A) She looked eighteen. B) She did not look like a hooker. And that C) She definitely did not look like a dude, I was in bed with a glass of warm milk and some cookies right after the ball dropped.


Sincerely,
Josh Neer

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Dear 250 Lbs. Sack of Shit,

Nevermind. We found an equally suitable oppone

Letters to UFC 94

Dear Speed Freaks,

I.O.U. ten pounds of crystal meth.


Sincerely,
Clay Guida's Entrance

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Dear UFC Fans,

Fuck you. Fuck the fifty dollar tab tacked onto your cable bill for this pay-per-view, fuck that two-drink minimum at the sports bar, fuck the hundreds upon hundreds of dollars you dropped on Rolling Stones-overpriced tickets and getting to this show because none of you actually live here.

Seriously. Right up the ass, baby.


Sincerely,
Decision Victories

Dictated, not read,
The Main Card

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Dear Lyoto Machid

Because I wait 'til all the cool kids are doing it.

It seems as though within the last week every single person whose blog I follow has posted one of these, and in almost every case it was because they'd been "tagged" multiple times and put it off. In an effort to protect my internet karma and because I've ignored multiple tags myself, I offer the following.

*I had early plans to do a theme version, but a brilliant cocksucker by the name of Tod Goldberg beat me to it and now it would just be weak sauce.

1) I lived in LA during the Rodney King riots

Matt-Wallace.com is live!

Matt-Wallace.com is now fully live, fully loaded, and fully ready to go all Videodrome on your eyes and asses.

This is an Andre the Giant-sized step forward for my web presence and a totally new digital experience for my listeners/readers. Among the many newer and deadlier twists and turns, Matt-Wallace.com now offers you . . .

- The latest up-to-the-minute news on all of my current projects. With pictures. Bright, shiny pictures. Because my career requires that kind of 23-hour multi-media Sports