Max M. Power's Blog, page 4

My Second War Part 3

I always knew of gangs but I for the most part, they always left me alone because I was not worth having me in them.  That changed after word got around what I did to those three boys.  There were three small gangs that lived in the area and when one wanted me they all did.  When I turned them all down it was an insult and they wanted to fight me. The first gang fight came the Monday after my fight in the hall.  I was introduced to weapons, a knife.  I liked this weapon.  Even though it was meant for me, the person holding it had no clue what they were doing and cut themselves.  From that day forward I carried my personal weapon of choice, a bo staff. While I was in California, after reading the Code of Bushido, I took up the only weapon I could make myself, a bo staff.  I always had a bow and arrow set that I had to make myself so making my own weapon was not a stretch.  My mother would never allow me to have one otherwise. I use to sweep the back yard driveway with a push broom once I discovered it unscrewed and doubles as a bo.  Every day when I stacked up my 2x4s I use to include the bo in my daily routine.  I would practice for hours and hours, hitting myself, dropping it, gaining cuts and bruises until I was able to command it with ease. The walk from my house to the school was 1.3 miles.  There were many routes I could take once I left my home and I took them all, changing up whenever I could.  I carried a bo with me each way.  Even the police who patrolled the neighborhood regularly over time came to know me as the kid in all black who walked with a stick. The other kids always tried to find where I hid my bo as I went into the school with it and walked out of the school with it.  They never found it.  The main reason was that I knew how to get into all of the janitor’s closets and would trade out a different bo each time.  I used the school’s push brooms. I was a nerd who always read books and kept to myself but when I got angry I tried to control the monster within, when the darkness was unleashed it hungered for blood and would not stop until it got it.  My demons three loved it. It only took two fights for the kids to learn to leave me alone.  I wielded the bo with ease and with no regret.  It became known that if you attacked me I would show you no mercy.  The rest of the school year passed with ease.
As summer came I was given more freedom, to an extent.  I was allowed to go to AstroWorld, the Six Flags amusement park in Houston, on my own.  My mother would drop me and my brother off or just me and off we would go, to be picked up later.  I was also allowed to take the city bus downtown to the main library downtown.  Sadly neither one of these allowed me to carry my bo. I had to adapt.  I start carrying my favorite weapon of all, a knife.  Living in Texas, no one gave it a second thought to see anyone carrying around a pocket knife of any kind.  A crazy monkey like myself, I never let my knife show.  It’s called a pocket knife for a reason right, it stayed in my pocket. I butted heads with my brother from time to time but that’s what siblings did.  Fortunately for me the summer went by without incident.  I was either in church, at the library, or in some type of game room, playing arcade games.  On days I couldn’t go out for one reason or another I stayed home and play Nintendo. Soon I became a freshman.  Being the oldest in the house I was once again on my own.  A new grade in a new school, with no one to look to for advice on how to survive.  I was thrown in the deep end and had to learn how to stay afloat quickly. My new school was big.  My middle school was tall, three floors, but nothing like this, big.  The school was only two floors, but it was spread out.  The halls were much more crowded and sometimes I would have to run to get from class, to locker, to class. Everyone at this school was supposed to be smart because you had to take a test to get in, no one was zoned to this school because of the uniqueness of it.  It was a magnet school where you could learn a professional trade before you graduated. My demons three had been silent and I was beginning to think that they had gone away.  I had been afraid to allow myself to like someone else, after what had happened on my birthday in California, and being a loner made that easy.  High school was about to change all of that. The other new in my life were new kids.  Up until this point I had went to school with the same kids since the first grade.  We all lived close to each other so we saw each other all the time.  This school bussed in kids from all over the city so I was able to start over. None of my old bullies were at this new school.  I was able to truly enjoy school for the first time in my life.  I was allowed to work in the library during my lunch.  I was happy.  I also let my guard down.  That’s when she came into my life. Over the course of the Fall Semester I fell in love.  Really, truly, head over heels in love. Farm boy, fetch me that pitch, as you wish in love.  I was a dork kid who had no experience with girls and what I thought was love was one sided and crushed me.  My demons three returned, roaring with laughter. After we got back from Christmas vacation it had been over a year since I had a single fight, but with the return of my demons three, that changed.  I was wrong about only smart people attending this school and I was paired up with one of these dumb people.  I refused to do all the work and we both got an F.  Her boyfriend didn’t like that. In the middle of this huge school was a wide balcony.  There had been rumors that when the school was first built a student was thrown off of the second floor balcony.  It was a myth that the staff kept alive and would never confirm to keep the students from trying anything.  Her boyfriend and his three friends decided that I should make this myth true. I had left the cafeteria and was on my way to the library.  As I got to the top of the stairs the attack happened.  Her boyfriend grabbed me and started lifting me up off my feet.  I began kicking and yelling to put me down and his friends tried to grab my feet, all the while this bitch watching with a smile on her face.  That’s when the darkness took over. I pulled my knife out and stabbed his hand.  He dropped me, screaming out in pain.  I hit the edge of the balcony and fell on the floor.  My knife found his leg and as I pulled out I twisted.  His friends ran down the stairs and out the front door.  As I stood up he was now on the floor. By this point both librarians had come out to see who was screaming and then called over the radio for the police officer to come quickly.  The boy was arrested, he and his friends didn’t even attend that school, and I was given detention for defending myself. The rest of the Spring Semester was long and dark.  I didn’t care about anything anymore and my grades suffered for it.  My music, my clothes, my attitude reflected my darkness.  I failed the 9th grade but I wasn’t kicked out of the school, I had just barely passed the test to say in. The summer started and it was more of the same as the one before.  The only difference is my demons three were not silent.  They were not going to let me forget what started this war.  I had gone to visit my little angel a lot, sitting for hours on end at her tombstone, just crying in my solitude. I had decided that seppuku has the only way to end this pain.  I had thought about where and how I was going to do it.  A few yards away from her tombstone was a small man made brook with a stone bridge over it.  On the other side looked like a Japanese stone garden and this, in my mind, was the perfect place. The morning I had picked to perform my seppuku my mother told me that I had to go with my little brother and his friend to AstroWorld because they had no one to watch over them.  I was mad, and it showed everywhere we went.  I spent most of the morning in the arcade, ignoring their pleas to go on rides.  I was winning my game and I was not about to just abandon it just for them.  Then I heard it. The Dance by Garth Brooks. Up until this point in my life I could not stand country music so I had never even heard of Garth Brooks.  The words didn’t just hit my ears, it hit my soul.  The darkness slammed into a brick wall of light and stopped everything around me.  I let go of my controls and lost my game instantly. I walked over to the jukebox and just had a blank look on my face.  The song was ending and I put in quarter after quarter so I could play the song again and again.  My soul turned upside down on itself, darkness gave way to the light.  In that single moment I had won my second war.  My demons three were thrust out by the clarity of the words of The Dance.

My Second War Part 2

That summer my mother took my little brother, baby sister, and myself back home to California.  My demons three were happy because that’s where they first tried to take my soul.The darkness inside had consumed me by this point and I learned to embrace it.  Being a Star Wars nerd I realized that I was not a Jedi after all, I was a true Sith.Every day during the summer I trained in our back yard.  I would stack up 2x4 boards and practice my punches and kicks.  I would imagine they were my bullies back home in Texas.  The only blood I drew was my own whenever I broke a board, but it would have to do, since I could not draw theirs.  I was never going to lose another fight, no matter who it was.The summer passed quickly and I found myself enrolled in school in California once again.  I was the last to attend the same middle school my three older siblings had before me.  I was prepared for any bullies that may come my way, but my demons three threw me for a loop.One good thing came from being in California, I had a place to play and run around so I lost a lot of weight by the time school started.  I was still fat, however, I was not the push over I once was.  I had a few students who picked on me, breaking into my locker and flushing my books in the toilet.  Gym class was the same, a bully’s hunting grounds.After two weeks the biggest bully in school decided to get physical, they always do.  This guy was huge, a muscle head, and there was no way I could match his strength.  As he began to choke me my inner darkness took over.  When the fight was over, I left him on the floor, as I walked away, his blood on my shirt and the thought of picking on me again a thought far from his mind.  The only thought on my mind, I would need to buy a new gym shirt.Word got around quickly and the students left me alone, until the ultimate bully came along.  This was a bully that I never even thought existed, I’ve always been taught to trust them because of who they were, my teachers.One teacher in particular started on me and all the other students jumped on the band wagon, literally, as this torment came from band class.  This was a kind of battle and I was out numbered, defeated, and losing.Christmas time brings a high rate of suicide.  Despite all the jolly cheer everywhere, death and darkness fills the air.  My demons three kept whispering in my ear what my bullies were saying to my face, everyone would be better off if I would just kill myself.I was fascinated with the Samurai culture after my grandmother had given me a book about Bushido, and I knew how I would do it.  I was going to kill myself under the same tree I almost ended everything the first time, and this time I would not fail. I was so full of hate, full of rage, full of deep dark emotions.  I was mean to my cousins and siblings for no reason.  I wanted the world around me to burn.  Death was always hanging around me and I could feel his dark breath breathing down the back of my neck.I had an anchor that kept me from falling into my dark abyss forever, my grandmother who would make me breakfast and read to me from the newspaper at 4 in the morning before I went to school, but that tether was wearing thin as time went on.  It was not enough to keep me from my seppuku.Before we broke for Christmas break a bright light came into my life.  She was able to draw me out of my abyss and bring me back to the land of the living.  She kept me from returning to the darkness.  As the new year started I was happy, something I had not felt in almost a year.My demons three did not like this twist of events.  They decided that I needed to be punished.  We were at war and who was I to think I could ever be happy.  They were to teach me another harsh lesson.  I did not want to fight anymore so they hit me hard.My birthday was supposed to be perfect.  She had planned something special for me when I got to school, so did my demons three.  They took my light away, plunging me into the darkness, drowning me in it.  Death did their bidding.  Another life I loved had been lost for no other reason than I loved them more than I loved myself.Two weeks later we left California for Texas.  School was almost over so my summer started early.  I was back in my old hood but unlike before, I stayed in my room most of the summer.  I had slimmed down enough in California that the weight I had put on over the summer balanced me out to be more muscular than I was before.My solitude came to an end as school started once again.  I was back to the arena where I got my first taste of blood.  While a few of my original bullies still attended this school, I found out that the one that broke me, the one who’s eye I blinded, was no longer there.  At least I would not have to face him again. None of the students had recognized me, even though we had all of our academic classes together for an entire year before.  I was known as the transfer student from California.  Girls who had laughed at me before were suddenly wanting to talk to me.  The darkness inside me told them to fuck off, but that only made their desire for me worse.  I was a bad boy without meaning to be.It took three weeks before things began to settle down and old routines took place.  I was betrayed by my love of music.  I was too poor to buy my own trumpet so I had to use my older brother’s hand-me-down coronet.  What gave me away, and made me the laughing stock of the band before was the bent bell on the coronet.Word spread quickly about who I really was and how I tried to fool everyone.    The bullies in Texas were much more hard headed than the ones in California and they fought on a much harder scale.  They didn’t care that I wasn’t the same plump “butterball,” as they use to call me, they wanted their old punching bag back.The girls who wanted me now hated me.  They were teased by the guys that they were stupid and how could they like me.  They wanted their revenge as well and poisoned their boyfriend’s ears with words of violence.  Tension was building and it took a week before it finally broke.As I walked out of my history class history repeated itself.  I was jumped from behind.  Two guys had shoved me into the lockers and held me there, while another held my face against the metal grate of the locker.“You don’t have the balls to fight me one on one,” I taunted.My answer was a punch to my kidney, awakening my darkness.  I began to smile.“That’s all you got.”I was spun around, which is what I was hoping for.  Letting go of me briefly was their mistake.  I kicked the boy in front of me as hard as I could in the balls and when he doubled over my knee came up to break his nose.My hands were free so I throat punched the boy to the left of me and punched the boy to my right across his jaw.  He took off running, leaving his friends behind.  The girls looked on in horror as my smile continued to grow.  The blood on the floor was fueling my fire.The last time I received a beating by this boy and his friends I was bombarded with kicks to my back and stomach as more and more boys joined in on the beating.  It was only fitting to return the favor.  I kicked and stomped the boy who could not breathe as it was, chocking on his own blood from the broken nose he never expected.I kicked and I kicked, cussing at him until I was tackled to the floor from the side.  I tried to fight my way free of this man’s grasp but I couldn’t.  He was much more well trained than I was.  Despite his age, I could not defeat this Marine.  He was my history teacher.The other teachers in the hall took the boys away quickly.  Only after the halls were cleared of students did I hear the deep dark voice whisper in my ear, “Another victory… for us.”To be concluded...

My Second War Part 1

After the first war my demons left me alone for five years.  Life was good; calm and peaceful, well for the most part. Bullies have always been a part of my life.  Like my demons three, my bullies attacked me mentally as well as physically.  They beat me but never defeated me.  I couldn’t tell anyone because every time I did I was dismissed. I had to learn to defend myself and defend myself I did.  My bullies seemed to serve as my battle trainees, testing me on a daily basis.  They helped to harden my skin, sharpen my sword, and build my armor. In 1989 my second war began.  Unlike my first war, which only lasted four months, this war would last three years.  My demons three had to make up for the long silence.  The taught me a few hard lessons that I learned, and learned well.  They forced me to grow up quickly. I had been shielded from a lot of things but the first thing I learned was that there was another demon out there that would assist my demons three, but one that I will never be able to defeat.  He has come near me twice before but we were never introduced.  His name is Death. Death seems to be the shot across the bow that would awaken my demons three.  This second war was to bring new battles, battles I could not win.  Nothing my bullies ever did could have prepared me for what was to come. Our house had been blessed with two new babies.  One full time while the other stayed ninety percent of the time.  I was the watcher and protector over the one partly named after myself. One day I was running home from bullies chasing me.  They stopped before they normally gave up and I was proud of myself.  As I came around the corner I seen my little brother and nephew playing catch with a football.  When they saw me my little brother ran up to me and said, “You better stop smiling, baby Angel died.” I couldn’t believe it.  I ran to the house and my mother was standing in the doorway crying.  All the adults in the house were crying.  In my ear I heard a deep dark voice whisper in my ear, “Miss me?” “No,” I shouted. Everyone thought I yelled because of the news, and partly I was, but because my demons three had returned and they took the life of someone I loved to get to me.  To this day I have never forgiven myself for her death. For the next seven days I went into a destructive tailspin.  I was cold, I was angry, I wanted to die and be buried with her.  Since I couldn’t I placed a teddy bear I had that she loved to gum on inside her casket. I thought about suicide the day of the funeral.  There was so many people around, everyone off in their own little world.  I could have disappeared and no one would have known it for days.  I did the only thing I knew I could do, I bottled everything up inside. I was the good one.  I was the one with no problems.  I was the one who took care of the little ones, even though I was little myself.  I did what was expected of me, always. When I got back to school my first victory was awaiting me.  While I’ve been in fights before they were never fair and always one sided.  My armor had always repelled their insults and calls of fat, ugly, and stupid had not truly phased me.  On this day I left my armor at home. One bully had missed his target.  For seven days he wasn’t able to insult me and put me down to make himself feel better.  During the morning classes I had to talk to the school counselor to make sure I was okay to return to class.  Being a guidance counselor she was in way over her head. I went to lunch, where I sat by myself, reading a book, as normal, but didn’t eat anything.  After lunch I went to gym, and so did my bully. He purposely skipped his class and went to my gym class to pick a fight.  That was his fatal mistake. Words were exchanged.  I gave him a warning that today was not the day to mess with me.  I told him to back off three times.  However, my demons three were there whispering in both our ears. Everything I was telling my bully I was telling them as well.  Everyone has a breaking point, a point where they finally say, ‘Fuck it,” and truly mean it.  Where they break beyond all repair.  I had finally reached mine. Again, I always did what I was supposed to, what was expected of me, the right thing, remember I was the good one.  We were all sitting on the gym floor in single file rows.  I stood up to go tell the coach this kid wasn’t even supposed to be in this class.  He stood up too, blocking me. Everything that happened next happened within twenty seconds but for me it felt like hours.  To this day I am sorry for what I had done and yet I’m not.  This boy had tormented me almost every day all school year.  I did what I was supposed to, I told, and that just make matters worse because no one ever did anything about it.  Not one teacher, not one counselor, not one administrator, NO ONE!  I blame them all for what happened next. I was standing on the edge of sanity and my demon, the voice, pushed me over and into the deep dark abyss in my soul.  Here I found a home. As tears rolled down my face I lunged at the boy.  The look of horror on his face as we both fell to the floor burned forever in my brain, it was the last time he would look normal to anyone. On the ground I sat on his chest, pinning his arms down with my knees, as had been done to me so many times before.  My entire weight on his chest, keeping him from being able to breathe. My fist began to fly into his face.  Before this moment the only thing my fist had ever hit were boards in our yard.  This was my first taste of blood and I liked it. I wasn’t pounding his face, I was pounding the floor under his head.  I broke his cheek bone and popped his left eye slightly out of its socket.  Nothing around me existed and I had no idea that it took the two males coaches and a female coach to pull me off. I tried to get back to him.  He needed to suffer for everything I have suffered.  I remember climbing to the top of the bleachers and not allowing anyone to get near me.  I remember sitting in the office as many adults came in and out, looking at me in my gym clothes and looking at me in disbelief. What was said to me or about me I do not remember.  I kept blacking out, where I was in my dark abyss, wrapping myself in a blanket of darkness.  I had no idea what was going on. Finally I was allowed to change.  Nothing was going to happen to me.  I was dismissed and sent home.  For the next two weeks everyone kept their distance from me. To be continued…

The War Begins

Fear.  Fear is a powerful emotion.  It can consume you and swallow you whole.  Fear helps to keep us alive. I have gone to war with my demons four times in my life.  Each time nearly cost me my life; but the demons did not win.  When each war ended I was rewarded with years of peace.  In the back of my mind I always knew they would be back, without warning, to declare a war for my soul once again. These wars can last for years, with many small battles.  There are always scars from these battles, most are temporary, fading away, never to be seen again, letting me know what they can do.  A few have been permanent. I have a mark on my left temple that can be seen when my core temperature becomes hotter than normal or when I get angry.  When I get angry heat comes off of me in waves, attempting to calm myself down.  I tell people it’s a birth mark, and in a way it is, but in reality it’s my first battle scar. The problem with fighting all the time is you begin to get good at it.  The more you fight, the more you survive, the more you learn.  To steal a line from someone who taught me a lot as a child, “I’m good at what I do and what I do isn’t very nice.” When you’re fighting a being who is a thousand times more powerful than you and with eons of experience, they do not meet many challenges and will get bored. On my seventh birthday my first war began.  I posed no threat as I had zero training.  I had been shielded up until this point so I did not even know there was a need to fight. The war was short, lasting four months.  Having no strength to resist, the darkness took over me.  I was in pain and had no idea what to do.  I wanted to ask my mom about it but I had no idea how to.  My demons made sure that I couldn’t.  Like the lions who could not eat Daniel, my mouth was closed shut. As I climbed a tree I’ve climbed numerous times throughout that summer, tears flowed uncontrollably.  Thoughts of no one would miss me, the world would be better off without me, and my family might miss for a little while but I would be one less burden for them. Once I reached the top I sat there.  My demons three kept telling me to do it.  My family didn’t want me anyways, I was worthless and they only kept me because no one else would take me.  I kept telling them to shut up but they wouldn’t listen. They kept hitting me and hitting me, beating me into submission.  My little mind couldn’t take it anymore as I edged closer to falling.  A sharp pain began to throb where my mark is now.  They knew I was inches away and wanted to escape so they could witness it. As the third one departed a moment of clarity flashed before my eyes, knocking the wind out of me, causing me to sit back on the branch.  I was no longer being suffocated.  I could finally breathe deeply.  They had lost. Before they left I heard the same dark voice as before whispering harshly in my ear. “You’re not a challenge.  You will be ours, it’s just a matter of time.”

How I Will Die

Water.  It can be peaceful and yet, it can be destroyer of worlds.  It is always flowing and there is nothing that can truly stop it or contain it, without its permission.  It’s the source of life, healing and refreshing. I have always loved the water.  I’m drawn to it, it speaks to my soul.  I can just sit in it, float around and be completely happy.  It makes me feel good.  It’s where I’m most connected to the earth. Sadly, water will be the death of me.  I do not know how or why but I know when Death finally wins water will be involved somehow, betrayed by the very thing I love.

My First Battle

The battle for my soul began before I was born.  A fight between two religions serving one God. My family has always been Christian, more to the point, the most powerful Christians in the world, Catholics.  That is, until I was conceived. My mother converted before I was born.  My grandmother insisted that I still be baptized as a baby, so as to save my soul.  My mother, strong in her new found faith, did not approve. As I was growing in my mother’s womb my grandmother was growing more insistent.  She could sense my powers and knew I had inherited her bloodline. My grandmother, in addition to being a devout Catholic, also came from an ancient Aztec bloodline.  This bloodline descended from a very powerful priestess that only showed in a select few.  Those who gained this bloodline were more sensitive to the supernatural and spirit world.  Mexican voodoo magic was sometimes practiced and psychic visions foretold things to come. My grandmother had seen that I would be battling demons attempting to steal my soul and that I would lose this battle.  These battles would become real life battles, leaving me wounded and scared. Enough was enough, I was ready to make my jail break.  Out I came and the trouble was about to begin.  While my mother was recovering in a deep slumber my father handed me off to my grandmother.  Time was short, I needed to have protections put in place right away and my grandmother was determined to save my condemned soul. Everything had already been arranged.  There was nothing normal about this baptism.  The catholic priest also had Aztec roots and it wasn’t hard for my grandmother to convince him to undertake this task. There was a mixture of a baptism, a voodoo soul cleansing, and an exorcism.  When the blessings were bestowed and the wards set in place, my name was uttered out loud for the first time. That, however, triggered the very first battle I would fight. A bright white light began to glow from my little body as the entire room grew dark.  The only light visible was my own and it was fading fast.  One demon sprang forth from the shadows then another, finally a third surrounded me. My grandmother and the priest could no longer hold me as I was yanked away, defenseless, heading deeper into the shadows.  My light finally faded, plunging the room into complete darkness.  Time seemed to stop before a blinding light burst out of me. All in the room where blinded, including the demons.  My name sake came to protect.  The demons dropped me and ran away in fear.  With the demons gone the room went back to normal.  My protector kneeled down to where I was on the floor and smiled.  He picked me up and we both disappeared. I was back in the hospital, in my bed.  He stood over me, his smile fading as he prepared to leave me.  My name is Michael Angel, after the archangel.  He touched my forehead, giving me back a small amount of light, before vanishing from my life forever.  My name sake, my protector had forsaken me. On my seventh birthday the light Michael left me vanished.  As it disappeared my world was plunged into darkness, just as it had on the day of my birth.  A flash of bright light blinded me, then I was able to see him standing in front of me. “The protection I afforded you is over.  It is time for you to fight.  You had protection but since your baptism was a complete blasphemy no Angel will ever come to your aid.  Your soul is marked and tainted.  You were born into Hell and there you will return, when, will be up to you.  The demons are coming for your soul but you can hurt them just as they can hurt you.  Good luck child.” With that he faded away, the room returning to normal.  I was cold and alone, or so I thought I was as I heard a dark voice whispering in my ear, “Remember me?”

The Lie I Tell Myself

The lie I tell myself
"I am not insane."
A dark laughter soon follows
As my demons pull me close.

They hold me tight
There is no escape,
As they whisper in my ear
"You belong to us."

"No," I scream
But I can not fight them.
My world grows dark
Frost is in the air.

"Finally,
You are one of us.
A devil, a demon,"
Choas is all that remains.

A dark laughter fills the air
The voice is my own.
The lie, I tell myself,
"I am not insane."
- Max M. Power

My Demons

My demons may try to kill me but they know me better than anyone and will never leave me. - Max M. Power
* Rarely will I use someone else's pictures without permission but whomever wrote this described it perfectly.  I hope they don't mind I shared it with the world.

What Are You?

“What are you?” Every time I hear that question asked of me my first instinct is to answer in my deepest grunt filled voice, “I’m Batman,” but that’s the dork in me.  My actual answer is, “I’m Supernatural.” Yes, I know, that’s a loaded answer.  First and foremost I’m a Psy.  For those who know the full title I’m not going to use the last part because people tend to focus on the negative. In addition to being a Psy I’m also an Empath. I’m an Alpha and an old soul.  I’m a cosmic Ronin. Alpha – When most think of an Alpha they think of a strong muscular person who is tough and takes charge of everything.  They are intimidating and while being intimidating can get you what you want, that doesn’t make you an Alpha. I was once told that I could be in a room of one hundred people and not say a word to anyone and people will want to attack me because I made them feel inferior.  My aura will prove to be the stronger tougher aura. So while I may physically look like the Pillsbury Doughboy I’m actually an Alpha.  I’m very protective and let a lot of things go but when push comes to shove I stand my ground. Empath – I am more in tune with emotions coming from others.  My abilities even go as far as to be able to read strong emotions behind the written word as well as a photograph. When these powers came to light they hit me like a ton of bricks.  Feeling all these emotions I’ve never felt before.  But now, they keep me on my toes. Before I walk into a place I can feel positive or negative energy.  I know what I will be walking into before I walk in.  However, it’s a bitch when I watch an emotional movie or TV. Old Soul – I have lived many lives.  Some lives were brief while others were long and strong.  Some memories are brief but I do remember them as they are powerful.  I roam through time living and dying over and over again. Cosmic Ronin – Of all the lives I have lived a few were in the land of rising sun, Japan.  Life after life I was a Samurai.  Life after life I became a Ronin until I just accepted that title for the rest of eternity. A Ronin is a warrior without a Master.  They are shunned and live in solitude.  While I may protect others I have no master of my own. Psy – This is the big one that ties everything else together.  These powers I have had all my life but I never knew what they were until I was nineteen and taking college classes.  “There’s nothing more dangerous than a Psy who doesn’t know they are a Psy.” This is also the hardest for people to accept.  Basically I can manipulate energy.  I can take negative energy from someone and replace it with positive.  I can also take positive energy from someone and keep it for myself. A lot of times I exchange negative for positive without permission just so that I can breathe.  That negative energy is thick in the air and I need it to go away.  In small dosages I can extinguish it without a second thought.  Larger doses, however, will drain me and this is usually when I get sick. There have been very few times where I have stolen positive energy without permission.  I naturally produce a lot of positive energy myself and when I get really sick, my body believing I am close to death, I need an influx of positive energy to fight off death.  This, like I said before, is rare. There is a lot more to these answers but in keeping it simple these are my answers.  If you wish to know specific answers ask your questions in the comments and I will answer as best I can.  I would advise you to look into these subjects and learn more. So what’s my real answer to the original question?  “I’m Superman!”

My First Kiss

Growing up I was not very educated in things going on in the world.  If it was not on my morning cartoons chances are I did not know about it. While kids were learning adult content in elementary school I just nodded my head and played along, pretending I knew what they knew about sex.  I did not want to be laughed at for not knowing what the other kids were talking about. Plain and simple, I was naive. Most of my peers already had their first kiss before getting out of the fifth grade.  Jr. High provided more proof of this fact when everywhere you looked the “cool” kids were making out. Cheerleaders were girlfriends to the football players.  Clicks were everywhere and faces were stuck together.  As for me, I had to watch from afar.  While I longed for the contact the other kids had I was reminded of two reasons why I could not. First off, I was a geek.  Other geeks did have girlfriends but I seemed to be different.  I was always considered “a good friend” and nothing more. Second, it was forbidden for me to have a girlfriend at my age.  Unlike most teenagers, I was not the rebel without a cause.  Even if I did have a cause it would not have mattered, I was a Jehovah’s Witness.  Like I said, it was forbidden in our religion. For this later reason I was often teased.  I was different.  I was an easy target.  Needless to say, Jr. High was a very lonely time for me. When I became a freshman in High School things changed.  I was at a new school, new students, and unlike the kids I had been in classes with since the second grade, these new students knew nothing about me. Still I had to pretend I knew what was going on.  Clicks were everywhere and I did not fit into any of them.  I did what I have always done, being the geek I was, I worked in the library. I had been working in the library during my lunch since the sixth grade.  I was at home. I filed books.  I cleaned up.  I read the comics in the newspaper.  I finished my homework.  I tutored other students.  One of these students would educate me more than I would educate her.  Her name was Vanessa Ortiez. Vanessa was a goddess.  Beautiful flowing long black hair.  Cute perfectly placed dimples.  Long luscious legs.  Firm round behind.  Great hips.  Forty-six DD breast.  Soft smooth tan skin.  One hundred sixty pounds and a smile that would make your heart melt.  Like I said, a goddess. Vanessa was failing English and History, two of my best subjects.  When she walked up to me on that bright Friday afternoon I was stunned.  She was asking for my help. Unlike other girls, Vanessa asked for my help directly, not flirting with me to say yes.  How could I refuse? Everyday Vanessa would come into the library and I would tutor her in the back study rooms.  We could eat in these rooms so sometimes she would bring lunch for us to share.  I would imagine I was on a picnic instead of in a small room filled with books. I wanted to be with Vanessa, and not just as her tutor.  I was no longer naive, just inexperienced.  However, I did know enough to know Vanessa was way out of my league.  She was a goddess and I was an insect. Vanessa was always serious when we studied so I had to be too.  In all honesty I could not concentrate when I was around her.  My brain turned to mush. On occasion my mush brain would show and Vanessa alwaysfound this funny.  “It’s very cute,” she would say. This went on all semester.  Vanessa’s failing grades were rising.  She went from F’s to A’s.  When Vanessa received her final report card of the semester she was surprised to see straight A’s. Never in her life had Vanessa received straight A’s.  The fruit of her labor was clear and she was excited.  This excitement prompted a reward for me, although Vanessa did not know it. The next time Vanessa saw me I was busy putting books back in their place on the shelves.  I never saw her coming.  Vanessa’s arms wrapped around me as she hugged me tight. Vanessa’s firm breasts were pressing against me tightly, my reward.  When Vanessa let go I turned around.  Vanessa hugged me again.  The sweet smell of her perfume and shampoo filled my nose, drifting me away to paradise.  Vanessa always smelled good. “Thank you,” Vanessa said, kissing my cheek then letting go.  She held out her report card and I seen why she was excited. The next day I heard it through the grapevine that Vanessa was moving away with her father.  I was crushed.  I was in love. I had to tell Vanessa how I felt.  I wrote her a note to meet me in the Northwest stairwell at lunch.  This stairwell was rarely used and I knew I would have privacy. Vanessa met me, sensing the urgency in my tone.  Before she could say a word I sprang up from where I was sitting and blurted out, “I love you.” “What,” came the shock response.  It was hard to tell if her face showed surprise or disgust.  I had to continue. “I’m in love with you.  I’m seriously in love with you.” Silence filled the air.  The stairwell was dark, however, I could see my words were sinking in.  I walked around the stairs to hide in the total darkness of the corner.  I professed my love and my answer was silence. Vanessa followed me to the corner.  I was not going to escape so easily.  “Your timing sucks,” Vanessa answered before grabbing my shirt and pulling me to her. Vanessa’s soft sweet lips pressed against mine.  My first kiss. With each passing moment we continued to kiss.  Slowly her deep red lipstick was coming off.  My mind was racing a mile a minute. Do I close my eyes or keep them open?  Whoa, her tongue just went into my mouth!  What do I do, what do I doooo?  Do I push it out with my own tongue?  Do I stick my tongue in her mouth now?  Where do my hands go?  Am I doing this right or am I screwing up? Vanessa was reading my mind.  She broke away and smiled at me.  I knew what that smile meant, she thought my inexperience was cute. “Just relax and do what I do,” Vanessa whispered in my ear.  She began to nibble my ear as she wrapped my arms around her waist, sliding my hands to her hips. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pecked my lips. We kissed again.  This time I let my mind go blank.  My body knew what to do as I closed my eyes and pulled Vanessa to me tight.  For the next hour she was mine and I was not going to let her go.