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“Alice notices that Suzanne looks pale and weak, and that made her look “lovelier than the last time she saw her.” Note to teenage girls: get a serious illness.”
― If You Lived Here, You'd Be Perfect By Now: The Unofficial Guide to Sweet Valley High
― If You Lived Here, You'd Be Perfect By Now: The Unofficial Guide to Sweet Valley High
“Jessica, of course, who feels no human emotions, forgets that her whole family was about to be massacred and is already thinking about the men she will attract on the island.”
― If You Lived Here, You'd Be Perfect By Now: The Unofficial Guide to Sweet Valley High
― If You Lived Here, You'd Be Perfect By Now: The Unofficial Guide to Sweet Valley High
“The town of Sweet Valley should have a sign in the town square that reads “____ Days Since Last Dead Boyfriend.”
― If You Lived Here, You'd Be Perfect By Now: The Unofficial Guide to Sweet Valley High
― If You Lived Here, You'd Be Perfect By Now: The Unofficial Guide to Sweet Valley High
“a creepy old portrait of a man that looks just like Jonathan but wait, HE MUST BE A RELATIVE or something.”
― If You Lived Here, You'd Be Perfect By Now: The Unofficial Guide to Sweet Valley High
― If You Lived Here, You'd Be Perfect By Now: The Unofficial Guide to Sweet Valley High
“Bruce wears a gold watch and Italian glove-leather loafers. Not only is he in high school, he’s also a mob kingpin.”
― If You Lived Here, You'd Be Perfect By Now: The Unofficial Guide to Sweet Valley High
― If You Lived Here, You'd Be Perfect By Now: The Unofficial Guide to Sweet Valley High
“She notices Nicky Shepard, who we never heard of before this and of course he notices”
― If You Lived Here, You'd Be Perfect By Now: The Unofficial Guide to Sweet Valley High
― If You Lived Here, You'd Be Perfect By Now: The Unofficial Guide to Sweet Valley High
“I think Bruce Patman is a thinly veiled allegory for free market capitalism and corporate greed. And Liz represents socialism. It’s like Animal Farm with teenagers.”
― If You Lived Here, You'd Be Perfect By Now: The Unofficial Guide to Sweet Valley High
― If You Lived Here, You'd Be Perfect By Now: The Unofficial Guide to Sweet Valley High
“Jeez, these kids are so date-y. As in the guys wear suits and they go out to dinner. Did sixteen year olds EVER do this? You see this a lot in 80s teen movies too. Maybe I am just jaded, because nowadays sixteen year olds have orgies in their finished basements.”
― If You Lived Here, You'd Be Perfect By Now: The Unofficial Guide to Sweet Valley High
― If You Lived Here, You'd Be Perfect By Now: The Unofficial Guide to Sweet Valley High
“I’ve been reading A Confederacy of Dunces, and for one, am wondering why I never read it before now, and two, have taken to having Ignatius J. Reilly-esque outbursts as I read SVH books. My thought about reading the above passage was “can I believe this revolting offense to literature? What an abortion to the eyes!”
― If You Lived Here, You'd Be Perfect By Now: The Unofficial Guide to Sweet Valley High
― If You Lived Here, You'd Be Perfect By Now: The Unofficial Guide to Sweet Valley High
“Seriously, Enid has a really unhealthy obsession with Elizabeth. For her Christmas present, Enid buys her a silk, heart-shaped box. Um.”
― If You Lived Here, You'd Be Perfect By Now: The Unofficial Guide to Sweet Valley High
― If You Lived Here, You'd Be Perfect By Now: The Unofficial Guide to Sweet Valley High
“I’m not an expert murderer or anything, but this plan involves gaining their trust and affection, and counting on the twins not telling each other about the new guy in their life, instead of just say, running up and stabbing them.”
― If You Lived Here, You'd Be Perfect By Now: The Unofficial Guide to Sweet Valley High
― If You Lived Here, You'd Be Perfect By Now: The Unofficial Guide to Sweet Valley High
