Corey Keyes > Quotes

“Many of us are hungry to feel that our lives matter. We are hungry to belong. We are hungry for warmer, more trusting relationships. We are hungry to live in a society that accepts us for who we are. Everything we are hungry to receive must come from others who are also hungry for the same things. How can a society of hungry people feed one another what they need?”
― Corey Keyes, Languishing: How to Feel Alive Again in a World That Wears Us Down

“Health is not just the absence of disease; it is also the presence of well-being.”
― Corey Keyes, Languishing: How to Feel Alive Again in a World That Wears Us Down

“The psychologist Steven Hayes, who helped develop what is known as acceptance and commitment therapy, takes a quite Buddhist approach to meeting the full spectrum of human emotions. He encourages people to stop mentally suppressing uncomfortable feelings, which leads to psychological inflexibility--a factor that, alongside loneliness, leaves us more vulnerable to stress. In the face of overwhelming global social, political, and economic upheavals and nagging worries about health, safety, financial security, childcare, and so much more, it's both harder and more important than ever to be mentally flexible.”
― Corey Keyes, Languishing: How to Feel Alive Again in a World That Wears Us Down

“Our society is fond of admonishing us to “take personal responsibility” for our actions. If we’re not happy, we should get up earlier, exercise more, get more sleep. But sociologists like me are more interested in understanding how systems can fail us than in placing all the blame on individuals. If we’re feeling record levels of stress, anxiety, burnout, and, of course, languishing, how can it be only your fault? In fact, it is so often the system itself that robs us of our agency to create better lives for ourselves, and even to act in ways that line up with our values and identities.”
― Corey Keyes, Languishing: How to Feel Alive Again in a World That Wears Us Down

“Languishing feels like being on an airplane, circling above the runway but unable to land. It doesn’t feel like I’m in imminent danger—I’m strapped into my seat and generally fine, but there’s a sense that I’m waiting for a resolution that is taking forever to come. Strangely, I’m not even sure what it is. Anxieties that were never there pop up. (Did another plane crash on the runway? Are we going to run out of gas?) Languishing puts you squarely in the present and makes you aware of all that is going on around you, but it’s not mindfulness; it’s hypervigilance. In moments of pause, it starts to feel like you aren’t really living like you once did, and too many things feel out of your control. (When will this plane ever land so I can get on with my life?) Yet all the tedious tasks of daily living stay piled high in front of you (I’m still so damn busy! And tired!). It feels like every day you’re putting out a hundred little fires and never getting to do the things that really matter, the fulfilling things you remember doing pre-pandemic. The world has largely returned to normal, but somehow I’m still stuck in a pandemic state of mind.”
― Corey Keyes, Languishing: How to Feel Alive Again in a World That Wears Us Down

“languishing crept in after a period of extreme stress, grief, or loneliness—a sense of low-grade mental weariness that can be easy to dismiss, especially since indifference is one of its symptoms.”
― Corey Keyes, Languishing: How to Feel Alive Again in a World That Wears Us Down