Ask the Author: J. Michael Chamberlain
Answered Questions (7)
J. Michael Chamberlain
Blondie & Dagwood Bumstead and Marge and Homer Simpson, but not necessarily in that order. They're my favorites, because they're animated characters with only four fingers.
J. Michael Chamberlain
Not unlike Reverend Martin Luther King, I had a dream. Only in my dream, I ate a giant marshmallow and when I awoke my pillow was gone. All seriousness aside, I got the idea for my most recent book while sitting on death row in The Old Gray Bar Hotel, formerly the Hoosegow. I'm joking, of course, that's someone else's life. Nevertheless, had that author been given a stay of execution, I'm certain his book would have been electrifying. Anyway, I get the ideas for my books by listening to the world around me. I think.
J. Michael Chamberlain
My advice for aspiring writers is to drink a lot of water. If water isn't readily available, drink Scotch. Also, before you sit down at your computer and begin to write, make certain it's your computer and not the one on display at Best Buy. In my experience, Best Buy management frowns upon anyone sitting on their office chairs for eight hours and using their computers. Oddly enough, they also take exception to ordering pepperoni pizzas and drinking Starbucks coffee while you're in the zone.
J. Michael Chamberlain
I find my inspiration by sitting in front of the computer and turning it on. If I sit in front of the refrigerator, I just get chilly. There have been times, however, when I sat in front of the computer, turned it on, and nothing happened. But that only occurred when the computer wasn't plugged in. Of course I'm aware that writers often have difficulty getting inspired. If you fall into that category, I suggest hitting yourself in the head with a ball-peen hammer until you jog a few syllables loose. You're welcome.
J. Michael Chamberlain
I am currently working on my third book, entitled: "Life Doing Its Thing." Not unlike my last two books, this collection of words will be the most fun anyone will ever have reading anything. If, in fact, the reader finishes the last chapter and they're not convinced it was the most fun they ever had reading anything, I will come to their home and wash their car. If the reader doesn't own a car, I will fix a spaghetti dinner for the entire family, complete with meatballs, garlic bread, and Chianti. They may even invite Uncle Osgood and Aunt Millie.
J. Michael Chamberlain
The best thing about being a writer is having the freedom to sit down at a computer and wonder whether you'll be able to make the upcoming mortgage payment. The second best thing about being a writer is weeping uncontrollably when your dog used the mouse on your laptop for a chew toy and a plethora of rejection notices from publishers are piled higher than the Ficus tree in the corner of your office.
J. Michael Chamberlain
I deal with writer's block by swimming in the ocean. First I tuck my laptop into my swimsuit while I'm doing the breast stroke, and after I am rescued by the lifeguard, I go home and write about my near death experience. If it's a rainy day, I attach a lightening rod to my head and stand in an open field. Not unlike the drowning episode, if I survive the second or third lightening strike, I go home and write about my near death experience.
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