Ask the Author: Burns Well

“Ask me a question.” Burns Well

Answered Questions (9)

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What was you're favourite toy when you were a child?
Burns Well Matches. Kids LOVE matches. I also had this menacing-looking napalm gun I rather enjoyed using on my friends.
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If you could travel to any fictional book world, where would you go and what would you do there?
Burns Well Maybe Narnia or Hogwarts. What would I do there? Probably kill a whole bunch of people.
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What’s the best thing about being a writer?
Burns Well You get to do bad things with absolutely no negative consequences.
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How do you get inspired to write?
Burns Well I watch a lot of snuff films. Also, the voices in my head help a great deal. They're so helpful at telling me what to write, and they give such wonderful advice. Really wonderful.
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Where did you get the idea for your most recent book?
Burns Well I attended a Satanic ritual. Pretty neat stuff.
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What are you currently working on?
Burns Well This guy I have tied up in my basement.
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What’s your advice for aspiring writers?
Burns Well You're gonna fail. KILL YOURSELF!
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How do you deal with writer’s block?
Burns Well Deal with it? What does that mean? I just beat people to death with my writer's block.
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Who is your favorite fictional couple, and why?
Burns Well Romeo and Juliet because (spoiler alert) they killed themselves.
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