Ask the Author: Debra Jay
Answered Questions (7)
Debra Jay
People often ask me where I got the idea for "It Takes a Family," because there is nothing else like it in the addiction treatment world, so quickly transforming families of addicted loved ones (including the addicted person themselves). It's a hard question for me to answer because it's a culmination of years of work with alcoholics, addicts and their families (however one defines family). I have also looked beyond the addiction treatment and recovery field. I am forever curious about what is going on in other fields – some that seem not to resemble anything close to my field. This creates a creative mindset that leads to asking questions and opening doors to new possibilities. I credit my liberal arts education with the ability to be a critical thinker, looking beyond what is typical. I am a family member and a friend of addicted people and have been driven by a passion fueled by the fact that meaningful solutions for those of us who love an addicted person have been slim. It has always been my intention to change this deficit, which has taken many years of experience to reach the point of developing something that is both doable and meaningful in a lasting and transformative way.
Debra Jay
Dorothy Parker once said, "I hate writing. I love having written." I think there is a romantic notion of what it is like to be a writer. The reality is much different. Writing is hard and often grueling. When you write something you feel really good about, your reward is the next blank page and starting the process all over again. There are times you have to throw away pages of writing because you realize it's not that good or doesn't really say what you intended. Publishers today typically want your book in six months, so you are under the pressure of a tight deadline. But, when your book is complete, and you finally receive a copy fresh off the press, there is no better feeling. So, I would agree with Dorothy Parker. I love having written.
Debra Jay
I am not sure I've experienced what is called writer's block. Writing is hard. For this reason, the brain often rebels against getting started. Sometimes I do face a dilemma and need to walk away from the writing and think about other things or take a walk. This is when problems seem to solve themselves. Of course, I've put in the upfront work to making it possible for the solution to pop in my head. Sometimes it's not as much a problem to solve as clarifying my own thought process. That, too, seems to benefit from taking a walk or a leisurely meal or some other relaxing activity. There are times it takes a few days to unravel a problem and find my direction, but this happens less frequently.
Debra Jay
Writing for me is always about having something new and useful to add to the existing addiction literature. This is always driven by my passion to help the family and their still suffering addicted loved one in a meaningful way.
Debra Jay
I have just completed the third edition of "Love First: A Family's Guide to Intervention" and the second edition of "It Takes a Family: Creating Lasting Sobriety, Togetherness, and Happiness." These two books are now written as companion books for families concerned about an addicted loved one (however one defines family).
Debra Jay
Writing is all about ruthlessly editing your work again and again. Writers also need someone in their lives who will give honest feedback about their writing and the humility to accept helpful criticism.
Debra Jay
"Fundamentals: Ten Keys to Reality," by Frank Wilczek
"The Hidden Life of Trees," by Peter Wohlleben
"Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance" by Angela Duckworth
"Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know," Adam Grant
"The Nordic Secret: A European Story of Beauty & Freedom," by Andersen and Björkman
"The Hidden Life of Trees," by Peter Wohlleben
"Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance" by Angela Duckworth
"Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know," Adam Grant
"The Nordic Secret: A European Story of Beauty & Freedom," by Andersen and Björkman
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