The Rhesus Chart

Laundry Files #5

by Charles Stross

The Hugo Award-winning author of The Delirium Brief  reveals the secrets of The Laundry Files in an adventure of Lovecraftian horror and espionage hi-jinks...

As a newly appointed junior manager within the Laundry—the clandestine organization responsible for protecting Britain against supernatural threats—Bob Howard is expected to show some initiative to help the agency battle the forces of darkness. But shining a light on what’s best left in the shadows is the last thing Bob wants to do—especially when those shadows hide an occult parasite spreading a deadly virus.

Traders employed by a merchant bank in London are showing signs of infection—an array of unusual symptoms such as super-strength and -speed, an uncanny talent for mind control, an extreme allergic reaction to sunlight, and an unquenchable thirst for blood. While his department is tangled up in bureaucratic red tape (and Buffy reruns) debating how to stop the rash of vampirism, Bob digs deeper into the bank’s history—only to uncover a blood-curdling conspiracy between men and monsters...

Genres: Fantasy, Horror, Science Fiction, Urban Fantasy, Fiction, Audiobook, Lovecraftian

359 pages, Hardcover

First published July 1, 2014

About the author

Charles David George "Charlie" Stross is a writer based in Edinburgh, Scotland. His works range from science fiction and Lovecraftian horror to fantasy.

Stross is sometimes regarded as being part of a new generation of British science fiction writers who specialise in hard science fiction and space opera. His contemporaries include Alastair Reynolds, Ken MacLeod, Liz Williams and Richard Morgan.

SF Encyclopedia: http://www.sf-encyclopedia.com/entry/...

Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_...

Tor: http://us.macmillan.com/author/charle...

Reviews

[Trish · Rating 5 out of 5]

No no no no no no no.
Just so you know: my current state of mind is such that I just sent the following tweet to the author:


This 5th book details how Bob is sent to check on health and safety violations, leading him to the discovery that although vampires can't possibly be real ... well, they are. In the form of a nasty other-dimensional parasite taking over. The reason we don't know about it and, indeed, deny the possibility? Because they are good at secrecy. Guess what happens when you drag one of those secretive things into the light. Right! Nothing good.

I'm used to Stross' wonderful writing; his down-to-earth characters that are all fully developed, realistic; I either love them or love to hate them if you know what I mean. I'm also used to action, bureaucratic nightmares worse than any Eldrich Horror and the hilarity that ensues thus. The problem with that? The author has lured me into this false sense of security. Yes, we know Case Nightmare Green is imminent but we have Bob and Bob has Mo as well as Angleton and everything will be alright. Right? WRONG!

Here, we're treated to the whole treatment of shock, pain, grief. Seriously, I'll send the author my therapist's bill! There is loss and a lot of entanglements and emotions and ... a very tragic decision at the end. And then the book just ... stops.

Come to think of it, I hope Stross' cat will bite that toe OFF. Now excuse me, I have a date with a family-sized box of tissues and need to apathetically rock back and forth on the couch.

[Terje Bless · Rating 4 out of 5]

I tend to give Stross' work 5 stars by default and then subtract from there. The Rhesus Chart, unfortunately, is sufficiently uneven that the 4 stars I do give it is a little bit generous and subjective. I love the book, as I pretty much love everything Stross bothers putting to paper, but objectively this is among his weaker efforts in pure technical terms.

Its weakest aspect is, ironically, the central storytelling conceit: Bob Howard's narration. Where this has been a strength in previous books—Howard's quirky personality and outsider's perspective are what actually makes the Laundry universe work—here Stross stumbles at times.

At several points (principally where Stross' narrator reaches for movie tropes and similar for summation) the fourth wall is broken in a way that takes you out of the story (even in first person prose, if the narrator too directly addresses the audience it breaks the suspension of disbelief). Worse still, these instances tend to be points at which Stross for some reason feels the need to have Howard sum up the state of the story so far. If these had been summations of the story from previous installments I might have understood it (not enjoyed it, perhaps, but understood it), but here he just sums up the previous chapter or two. It comes across as either filler or a somewhat insulting assumption that his audience can't keep up with the plot developments they've just been shown and have to be told what's going on.

The situation isn't exactly improved when what should by all rights be the climax of the story, Stross' narrator resorts to quoting a bureaucratic “after-action” report. Fair enough that Stross' narrator is neither omniscient nor present at the events in question, but this holds true as well for the first third or so of the book where Howard has no trouble dramatizing the events preceding the point where he first intersects the plot. The net effect is that a development that should be the climactic scene in this book, and fairly huge for the series and the Laundry universe as a whole, reads drily and perfunctory. This should have been swimming in pathos, and instead it barely managed to rise to the level of holding my interest.

This of course compounds the fact that what is then left as the actual climax of the story—not least because this is the event which our narrator, Howard, is directly involved in—is written more as the penultimate challenge, the final set of minions before the boss fight. The combined effect is one of anti-climax and skews dangerously close to bathos when it comes time to exhibit the consequences.

There are also some annoying plot holes, the worst for me being that directly contradictory information is given about the state of a major character's fate in a way that undermines the tension that either possible outcome would have provided. These are annoying, but, I suspect, mostly reflect too much hurry during the writing and editing, and are overall minor sins (for instance, a commenter on Stross' blog pointed out that the timeline currently leads to a minor character being pregnant for 11 months).

Overall I'm left with a suspicion that here we see the scaffolding poking through. I wouldn't be at all surprised if I were to learn that Stross signed a deal for a number of new books in the series of which this was the first, or that someone (his agent, publisher, or his own commercial acumen) pressured him to make this a good jumping-on point for new readers (which, if nothing else, would explain the incessant summation). It also seems obvious to me (which is usually the surest sign that I'm wrong, but still...) that Stross is here attempting a pivot (see what I did there?), of sorts, for the series. Everywhere the plot felt disjointed could be easily explained by Stross' hand trying to retcon and shift his characters and the universe into a subtly different direction to fit with his plans for the next three books. There are developments in Howard's personal life, telegraphed early in the book, that make sense mostly to supply a source of tension for future books. A character is introduced (possibly intended as a deliberate red herring) that probably will play no role for several books, but which take up disproportionate space in this book for no good reason. Another character is reintroduced with a completely different personality than previously, and then goes on to exhibit such markedly divergent traits as to leave the overall impression as pure schizophrenia (and to be clear, I'm implying that Stross either failed to reconcile different sides to this character, or simply changed his mind while writing and insufficiently corrected previous prose). Who exactly constitutes the main villain isn't exactly clear; there are several of them and despite enormous buildup, by the end of the book you can't help but feel they're actually all kinda pathetic.

Now, apparently the next book in the series will be narrated by Mo and will overlap with The Rhesus Chart, so possibly Stross had half an eye on that and the further books, but overall I'm just plain disappointed by this showing. There's no doubt Stross is a better author than what's on show here, and I had so been looking forward to that book.

That all being said, even Stross half-assing it and phoning it in is better than most of his peers on their best showing. While the scaffolding may show through, the remodel Stross seems to be attempting here is both necessary, timely, and makes me excited for future books in the Laundry universe. The plot may be a bit thin and strained at times, but Howard as a narrator is amusing as hell and draws you safely by thrills and horrors both. And ultimately, more of Stross' unique vision and imagination is worthwhile no matter its wrapping.

I love Stross' writing in general, and especially The Laundry Files, and that includes this particular ugly duckling. Not, contrary to apparent intent, the best place for new readers to get onboard (I still recommend The Atrocity Archive for that), but for existing followers of Agent HOWARD's exploits, more Laundry can only be a good thing.

[Bradley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Re-read 5/21/18:

My god this series only gets better as it goes along. I thought this was a somewhat weak novel in the whole mix but I was definitely mistaken. Knowing what comes later influences my decision. Easy.

This is, however, a pretty big turning point for both Bob and the Laundry. His personal life suffers by way of the events that eventually occur, but the Laundry suffers more. It's invasion time. By bloodsuckers. And there a LOT of casualties.

Of course, that means a general org-chart rearrangement and no manner of funny and light built-up in this novel will erase the fundamental tragedy.

But yeah, I laughed my ass off about the vampires. For most of the novel. It was gorgeous and satirical and clever as hell. :)

If only the end hadn't been so dark! And yet, that darkness really hit me in the gut. That last bit makes me stay around.

This is totally cool.


Original review:

Watching Bob become beast couldn't be more fun, and the workplace drama, whether it is the Laundry or cutthroat banking, is always humorous. Not too much was on the plate for this novel, but in my opinion, that was just fine. It allowed me to focus tightly on the interpersonal relations, and for good reason. The ending was a real zinger. The novels are only getting better as time goes on.

[Mark · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bob vs vampires.

As I've said before, these are fun and I read each of them hoping I can give it four stars, but they always have too many problems that I can't ignore. I'll run down what for me are the top four issues of the current entry.

The book is structured as a 200 page prologue followed by a 150 page main plot. This causes obvious pacing problems, and the sad thing is it would be pretty straight-forward to fix in at least two different way.

There is a hidden villain who turns out to be the minor character whose only role previously was to carry a sign saying "I am most definitely not the hidden villain." This is a minor person with no character development and no emotional connection. I cannot fathom what the point was in keeping them hidden and then revealing them.

There is another villain that chooses to commit suicide as the only way of avoiding being killed. Since that it so obviously contradictory, it saps all of the impact out of that section.

Finally, the narrator stops the book at multiple points to say "hey reader, here is what is going on, here is what you should be paying attention to, and please note these are the villains and boy are they scary." I have said this before but it bears repeating -- when a character in the book speaks up and says there are problems with the book, the author really really needs to respect that and look into fixing the problems.

So in summary, just like the others in the series. A fun book that could be much better.

[Matt · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm having an increasingly love hate relationship with this series. The early books in the series had enthralling build ups but very weak endings. Stross seems to have overcome his problems building interesting exciting finales, but the books themselves are getting more and more boring in the lead up.

And I'm really beginning to loath Bob as a narrator. It's getting to the point where I'd be ok with Bob being eaten by some tentacle cosmic horror if I could just get his overly self-aware, self-important, not as funny as he thinks he is, hipster meme dropping self to just shut up. Really, as an exercise in realistic creation of a semi-autistic English IT nerd, I have to admit it's pretty convincing, but Bob is turning into one of those pathetic nerds that irritates even other nerds. Sadly, I'm more and more convinced that the reason Bob's characterization is convincing, is Bob is just Charles himself.

Backing up a bit, my first encounter with Charles was through the 1981 edition of the Fiend Folio, which was unique in being largely the creation of the UK branch of nerds rather than the Wisconsin clan. One problem with this novel is if that if you don't understand what I just said, you won't understand the novel either. On some level as a geek I like that Stross doesn't bother to explain himself to the reader, but if he's going to do that he should go full bore and stop putting full summaries of the setting and recaps of past events every 20 pages. But even more so, I'd just rather he stop trying to prove he's a real geek and just get on with the story telling. Seriously, at this point adding oblique references to Numenera and the hundreds of other geek bits of the moment is doing nothing to make this a better story. It's all wink, wink, nudge, nudge and let's see how many geek bonus XP we can earn if we reference some obscure element of the first episode of the original Star Trek, etc.

But any way, in Fiend Folio Charles came up with the idea of the Slaad. Now the truth is, that the Slaad were a mix of genius and epic fail. They were genius enough to survive as beloved reoccurring content for a particular sort of geek, and epic fail enough that everyone that has looked at them seriously has said to themselves, "This is (almost) totally wrong." It's not that they weren't cool enough, it's just that back in those days if something was supposed to be an embodiment of Chaos, no one really thought very hard about what that meant and the resulting creatures aren't really actually very good at embodying chaos as a concept. Instead, they are a couple of good ideas married to a couple of bad ideas that basically makes them a kind of demon-lite. Mechanically, they served a very important role in D&D in that they were one of the few monsters that had actually been written to realistically provide a challenge to high level PCs. Conceptually they may have been light weight demons, but mechanically they were foes++. As a game token, they worked really well. As reification of some idea to toy with in your intellectual space, they just didn't - solid crunchy play things on one level and half-baked never refined ideas on the other.

That's largely what the Laundry stores have always been, except that at least back in the day - as he was with the Slaad - Stross was a content provider. In these latest works, Stross seems less like a content provider and more like a content aggregator that is half Google web crawler and half 'Will it Blend?'. Every paragraph dumps 50 meme references so that I really think it would be possible to reconstruct Stross's browser history in detail by pulling apart the novel, right down to which essays on The Guardian he read, which reddit threads he browsed, and on which days he visited DailyKos or DU to figure out what his colleagues across the pond were reading.

The result of this is that Bob is the only believable character in the series, and only because Bob is Charles. When Charles tries to give a voice to any other character in the series, it just completely falls flat. Now, as a DM I've encountered this sort of problem before. In my experience, 80% of RPers are only able to RP themselves. But in a session of D&D or WEG Star Wars or Delta Green, it really doesn't matter if the player can only be themselves, because its kind of cool to get answers to the question, "What would my friend do if he found himself in a burning building being overrun by 5th dimensional star vampires?" or "If my friend was secret agent, how would he handle a plot by occult shape changers to take over the government?" But it's a bit annoying in a novel, particularly a novel with such an increasingly one dimensional Marty Stu as Bob is becoming.

A bit of a spoiler here, but on page 1 of the book I guessed that Stross was going to kill off Mo. I'd seen it coming for a couple of books now. Mo is just getting in the way of Bob's increasingly sexy geek mojo. For the last three or four books, Bob would have been getting it on with a whole host of sexy eager girl super spies, if it wasn't for that whiny weepy ball and chain he has to go back to and which is a continual drag on his libido and sense of cool. It's clearly what Charles wanted to do, even as he had his alter self scrupulously adhering faithfully to his marriage vows.

Although everything in the story went pretty much exactly how I expected in every plot point, I guessed wrong about Mo', and I haven't decided for myself whether I think my guessing wrong is the best thing about the story because it means Howard/Stross has chosen the best angels of his nature, or whether I find it lazy cowardice as an author because Howard/Stross can now keep having his cake and eating it to.

Lastly, the story is no longer in the least bit scary. Stross still has never once excelled in terms of fear that moment Howard is racing across an alien landscape in order to close a door before something too big to imagine eats his whole universe way back in the first book. I hesitate to even classify this thin soup of totally scareless scenes as horror, except that by convention stories about vampires are in the horror category and Stross keeps name dropping to increasingly little point the Lovecraftian mythos. But when you are saving the Earth by sticking a sticker on it, it's long left horror and entered the world of camp.

[John Carter McKnight · Rating 5 out of 5]

Possibly the best of the Laundry Files novels. Stross returns to the bureaucratic/corporate IT satire that the series began with, ruthlessly sending up managerial fads. He takes the bankers/vampires analogy beyond the obvious, playing with the trope in a way that offers up some sharp social commentary along with the humor.

The plot is tight without being convoluted, the pacing quick and carefully structured. A lot happens for the overall series arc, more so than in previous volumes, and definitely sets up a next volume that's going to have a lot to take on.

I don't usually think of Stross as being, well, competent, with evoking emotion or handling relationships in an emotionally rich manner, but here, one, Bob shows some striking insights about his own growth, character, and shortcomings, and his marital problems with Mo which frame the story are surprisingly painful. I understand the next book will be narrated from Mo's POV - eagerly looking forward to that.

[Lars Augensen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Could have used an editor. It seemed like every chapter started by restating what had happened so far, and I'm sure I saw the same sentences used six times.

[Allen Adams · Rating 4 out of 5]

http://www.themaineedge.com/buzz/bloo...

Vampires don’t exist.

That’s a normal enough attitude for most people, but when a super-secret organization devoted to defending the world from the supernatural horrors that lie beyond the dimensional veil adopts the same attitude – and vehemently so – it ought to raise a few questions.

So it is in “The Rhesus Chart”, the fifth in the Laundry Files series of sci-fi/spy mash-ups by Charles Stross. Agent Bob Howard – the reluctant hero - is once more in the middle of everything whether he likes it or not.

This time, a group of finance wonks at a major London bank have inadvertently developed a complex computer program that – in a world where magic and advanced math are one and the same – results in an infection of sorts. Said infection grants the afflicted heightened strength and awareness and advanced powers of persuasion – as well as an extreme sensitivity to sunlight and a thirst for blood.

But again – according to company policy, there’s no such thing as vampires.

But as Bob and his cohorts dig deeper, it turns out that there’s a vast conspiracy at work – not only have vampires been around for hundreds of years, but there may even be one (or more than one) operating right under the Laundry’s collective nose. Before long, everyone has been pulled into the midst of a centuries-long enmity between warring factions that are more than willing to do whatever it takes to come out on top.

What makes “The Rhesus Chart” – and by extension all of the Laundry Files novels – is their unique perspective. Basically, you start with an action thriller skeleton over which an Elder Gods/Cthulhu mythos skin is stretched. Then, at its heart, you put a dorky over-his-head glorified IT guy forced to confront a world where he is not only a spy, but a spy tasked with preventing the world from being overrun by tentacle monstrosities from another universe. All those wildly disparate flavors should come into conflict, and yet … they don’t. Somehow, they come together in harmoniously entertaining readability.

You just have to tip your hat to Stross.

One of the biggest issues with open-ended series is the evolution of their protagonists. The tendency is to keep your characters the same. It’s understandable – if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. But a stagnant hero is a boring hero; the reader needs to see a certain degree of growth to stay interested. What Stross has done with Bob Howard is simply allow the character to change. Not a lot; he’s still the same guy, with the same sense of humor and the same beliefs.

But at the same time, Bob can’t be an out-of-his-depth bumbler forever; his continued survival alone ensures that he’s learning as he goes. He’s still making mistakes, but they have to be different mistakes; otherwise, readers will simply get bored. But as the series as a whole - and this book in particular - illustrates, there is an endpoint to all of it – and its approach grows ever more rapid.

There aren’t many authors that produce quality work with the kind of consistency that Stross manages. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that the basic concept – British spy thriller set in a universe where Lovecraft was right – is absolutely brilliant; it’s unique, yet totally accessible. Still, an idea can only get you so far. It is Stross’s execution that truly elevates the series. No one is better at making the impossible seem not only possible, but plausible.

“The Rhesus Chart” is a worthy addition to the Laundry Files – it is fun and funny, smart without being smug. It’s cleverness without condescension – no easy feat to pull off. Bob Howard is a character whose adventures warrant furthering; now we just have to wait patiently to see what Stross has in store for him – and for us – next.

[Robert · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mysteriously, this book never made it to my on-line shelves the first time I read it.
Second time around, it was fun enough but I found parts repetitive - recapitulating the basic set up of the series once makes sense - especially for people jumping on board at this late stage - but four or more times? (I lost count.) Also Stross appears to think his readers are stupid because it felt like the shenanigans of the plot are explained several times over, too.

There's something going on in this series that I'm not sure I understand. Each book (I think it happens in all of them) picks up some recent or long-lasting trope of pop-culture and uses it as a major plot or thematic element. We've had Occult Nazis, James Bond, Vampires and Superheroes that I can recall off-hand. Several of the books have a bizarre essay about the theme that makes like there's some profound examination of the reasons for the popularity of these themes going on; it seems entirely absent from the actual novels, though and it comes over as trying intellectualise something that is fundamentally silly.

[Alan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rec. by: Perpetua Records in Yachats, OR; previous work
Rec. for: Bloody nuisances

"I'm just a girl trying to make ends meet and get by in a harsh, uncaring world."
"By working with blood-sucking fiends who drain the life out of people. Also, vampires."
—p.221

So... the last time I read a Laundry Files novel (not counting reboots) from the cursed keyboard of Charles Stross was... more than a decade ago? That can't be right... oh, but it is. My own files tell me that I read and reviewed The Apocalypse Codex, the fourth volume in Stross' original series, in the far-off year 2012.

At the time, I thought the series had been getting a little tired, and so I guess I just... stopped looking for new ones. I think I needed the break. However... now that The Rhesus Chart just dropped into my hands, as it were, while I was browsing in a lovely little second-hand shop on the second floor (the first floor, if you're British) above a guitar store in a tiny coastal Oregon town—well, it felt good. It felt like destiny.

One drawback of relying so much on serendipity, though, is that series order isn't guaranteed. I simply lucked into reading this one in sequence.

I'm overthinking this, I know... but the upshot is that I enjoyed The Rhesus Chart, a lot.

The book is verbose, though, at least to start with. Our hero (well, our protagonist) Bob Howard, who remains a master of self-deprecation even though he seems to have leveled up considerably, imparts lots of backstory in the first few chapters—but I wanted that, this time. I appreciated the exposition, after so long a hiatus.

In this installment, Bob Howard and his wife Mo are experiencing a certain amount of... marital stress. Yeah, let's put it that way. Both of them work for the Laundry, which is no job for homebodies. And Bob's been involved in a time-consuming side project, analyzing the statistical likelihood (spreadsheets. Lots of spreadsheets) of vampires being active in London and its environs—even though, as Mo points out at the very beginning:

"Everybody knows vampires don't exist."
—p.1

Everyone? In an agency whose bread-and-butter are eldritch horrors from beyond? That uses zombies (excuse me: "Residual Human Resources") as nighttime security guards? Maybe Bob's right to be a little suspicious of that claim.

I was also amused by Stross' patent disrespect for our capitalistic overlords:

One of the great besetting problems of the modern age is what to do with too much information. This is especially true of high-frequency share trading, where every second a Sahara-sized sand dune of data must be gulped down and sifted for the fragrant cat-turds of relevant market movements.
—p.34

By the way—I always saw Bob Howard being played by the late Bob Hoskins in the films, but... Hollywood stupidly never picked up on that, and now it's too late, dammit.

The ending does leave a lot unresolved, though. I made the mistake of glancing at the last page too early, and while Bob's final line doesn't mean exactly what it looks like, it's still not a happy conclusion.

I'm sure there's some reason why Charles Stross didn't call this one The Rhesus Factor—maybe he was making its title more searchable—but, whatever you call it, The Rhesus Chart is the most intense and high-stakes entry in the Laundry Files series.

At least of the ones I've run across to date.

[Peter Tillman · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've had mixed luck with the Laundry novels, but this one was the best I've read. "Reasonable" scientific explanations for most all of the supernatural stuff, plus Stross's trademark breakneck pacing and sheer readability. The *premise* is still pretty silly, but so what?

What: Lovecraftian urban fantasy obviously appeals to the author, and sometimes to me, but it wouldn't be my genre of choice....

Ends on a down note, and a hook for the next book. Guess I should do some catch-up reading....

Dec. 2022 reread notes: remains the best of the Laundry Files books that I've read, and has some wonderful Strossian grace-notes: the last working Memex machine, which cost about the same as a strategic bomber when new! Spooky the black kitten steals some scenes and finds a home. This book is Bob Howard's graduation into the Laundry big leagues, and the end of the best part of that series for me. I hit the timing just right to reread this one, as I had forgotten a number of the plot-twists. And all about Spooky! 4.4 stars, high marks, and marked for reread in another 5 0r 6 years . . .

[Tim Hicks · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you've been reading the Laundry books, and thinking Stross is building a nice little series here, this is your reward. It's complex, breaks some new ground, retains the veddy British attitude that keeps it apart from the Correia, Butcher genre, follows its own rules consistently, and has the lead character growing through the series. Also some things at the end that you might not be expecting but make sense.

The climactic scene is a tad gory but well done, and sets us up well to continue the series without becoming repetitive.

Speaking of which, Stross is a prolific author and occasionally it shows. This one could have been tighter with one more rewrite, or a good editor. But I suspect that these days, the pressure is on everyone involved to get the next book out ASAP [coughEspeciallyPatrickRothfusscough].

I continue to enjoy this series more than most of the author's other works. YMMV.

p.s. NOT recommended as a standalone.

[Kara Babcock · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn’t realize how much I needed The Rhesus Chart until I started reading it, but almost from page one this was like a comforting cup of tea. See, I’ve been in a bit of a reading slump lately—nothing to do with the quality of my reading material, more just not being in the mood to read and actively finding reasons not to read, which is so unlike me! But The Rhesus Chart is the kind of urban fantasy candy novel that I can’t put down. I wanted to read this on break, after work, before bed … I stayed up an hour past my bedtime to devour the last hundred pages of this thriller. This is why I keep coming back to Charles Stross over and over.

In this latest instalment of The Laundry Files, Bob Howard is in the middle of a mess that is somewhat of his own making. See, everyone knows that vampires don’t exist. So when an algorithm Bob has whipped up and runs against some test data from the NHS suggests an outbreak of vampirism … well, that’s a problem. It’s even more of a problem for the vampires in question (who certainly don’t exist). And meanwhile, Bob is struggling with his marriage. He and Mo have been doing their jobs for the Laundry for a very long time now, and it is taking its psychological toll.

The Rhesus Chart references another long-running urban fantasy series I enjoy, The Dresden Files. Much like that series, I find it difficult to come up with extremely new takes on the Laundry Files sometimes. Still, there are some elements I’ll highlight here to pique your interest.

First, the vampire thing. Stross handles this with his trademark combination of neurotic verisimilitude and British humour. He starts from the premise of “if vampires were real, how would they actually function?” and goes from there, and it’s really fun to see it worked out. Although some parts of the exposition get repeated a few times (grr argh), overall I like the pace with which he uncovers the backstory here. I complained in my review of the previous book that the first act dragged. That isn’t a problem here: the first act is intense, as Bob is on the hunt for this possible nest of vampires who shouldn’t exist, leading all the way to a false climax that then tips us over into…

… the second thing, which is yet another brush with mind-numbing bureaucracy. This is a hallmark of this series, of course, so you shouldn’t be surprised by this. Don’t you worry: Bob has his share of awkward committee meetings, overbearing employees, and insufferable twits. On the surface this is about laughs, of course, but once Stross reveals the identity of the villain behind the scenes (I’m pleased to remark that I worked it out myself a few chapters ahead of time, albeit perhaps not as soon as I might have), this satire turns into social commentary. Stross has more than once commented that the combination of the Scottish referendum and Brexit kind of created a massive political singularity and throws a wrench into his plotting for these kinds of near-future novels. When your real-life politicians are entirely human (we suppose) yet still monstrous, the “our leaders are monsters” take might not seem so original. What makes The Rhesus Chart more interesting, in my opinion, is how Stross highlights how clever psychopaths—vampiric or otherwise—can manipulate the layers of bureaucracy to shroud themselves in a secrecy no less obscuring than actual fog.

I’m also loving how Stross explores the stress that fighting the supernatural puts on Bob and Mo’s relationships. Lots of supernatural fiction explores this, of course. Not so much mired in it being an actual day job though. Ending of the book’s ramifications notwithstanding, the whole idea that Mo is just feeling done with being the Laundry’s wetwork asset is so palpable here. (I know the next book is actually from Mo’s point of view, so I’m very excited for that!!) Moreover, the telltale scenes in which Angleton, Lockhart, and the Auditor discuss how they tiptoe around this issue are so interesting. They remind us that when you reach a certain level in an organization like the Laundry, sometimes you have to choose between what’s best for your employee and what might be best for the world. Something like Angleton might have no problem making that call. But Bob? … Well, we’ll see.

The ending of The Rhesus Chart is properly explosive and dramatic. It upends a lot of the status quo. One of the constant themes of this series has been Bob’s rise within the ranks of the Laundry. Like many an urban fantasy series, Dresden Files included, power creep is an issue. I suspect that’s one reason why Stross is diversifying his narrators. Nevertheless, I am definitely … I don’t know if sad is the right word, but I’m moved by the departure of a few of the characters we’ve come to know over previous books.

This is another fun entry in the series. If you’re new, you could start here, but I would recommend going back, or at least tackle The Apocalypse Codex first. But if you were ever curious about how Stross would deal with vampires in the context of the Laundry, this book is for you.

My reviews of The Laundry Files:
← The Apocalypse Codex

[M · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I would happily recommend the first two Laundry novels to nearly everyone as a must read, the latter one, and now this, feel more like a "ha, got a captured audience, got a recipe to keep them fairly entertained, write and repeat."
Also, with this book, imo, Stross has outed himself as a geek/nerd tourist, rather than an initiate (see towards the end of my review), which seriously devalues this book, unfortunately...

Let me explain:

Just finished reading this and am a bit torn - as in some other recent cases related to Charles Stross' writings: first off, let me say that I believe he's got a secure place in the grand pantheon of SciFi writers.

But I also find that he is not a great writer.
He's an amazing visionary, a genius when it comes to world building and, he always strikes a good balance regarding seriousness and entertainment...
And although I don't think that stylistics are his strong point - I read Stross for ideas and sometimes plot - his writing is certainly good writing: descriptions work, dialog is slick. And if you read a lot of SciFi, hell books in general, you will agree that there are a lot of books out there which you'd like to like but are just too painful to read, because of bad language and style...

So why was it not 5 stars?

First, I was a bit disappointed by the plot. After reading Equiod which I think is pure genious, I expected a similar bizarre take on vampires. But really it's all a bit boring and a bit predictable. It just felt like 'another Laundry novel'.
But hey, that would have still left me well entertained.

What I did find really annoying were those repeated ruminations, where the protagonist explains, yet again, to someone else in the book, and thus effectively to the reader what has just happened. And through this, we, as the reader, are being told what vampires are and what the laundry is to do about them, over and over again.
Stross either seems to doubt his own skills, or, worse, the intelligence of his readers.
In fact, it seems to be a thing of his, I had the same issues with Neptune's Brood.

Come to think of this, and I have also said this before about Stross, he always messes up the ending: in nearly all Stross' novels are we being about the showdown in form of a executive summary third hand... I am still not sure whether this is intended, laziness or bad planning which means the author has to rush to get that book to the publisher...

Finally, and I have been criticised in another review for saying this, Stoss doesn't always fully understand what he is talking about: I have said this in Neptune's Brood when I 'accused' him of pulling a veil of confused economic ramblings over us, but admitted, that maybe I wasn't educated enough to fully understand the depth of his thinking.
Now in Rhesus Chart, Stross wallows in the concepts of Agile software delivery (Scrum - http://www.scrumalliance.org) and again for the non initiated it may sound all cool nerdy / geeky talk and maybe bun. In this case I happen to be an 'initiate' and while Stross gets key concepts wrong, it's the way he uses terminology that makes very clear, this is all 3rd hand and researched - which of course is totally acceptable - but it feels contrived rather than slick and cool: sometimes a bit less is more.


Maybe it feels like I am coming down a bit hard on this book, and this is only, because the above are such easily changeable things, which would have taken this from a very readable and enjoyable, to a re-readable and amazing, recommendable book.

[Søren · Rating 2 out of 5]

A great plot idea and the always fascinating cast should have made for an enjoyable addition to the Laundry series. Unfortunately, I found the book terribly paced, with long stretches of unnecessary exposition—mostly mr. Howard telling us the obvious or worse, summarizing previous events of the book for the benefit of other characters. Moreover, the attitude and language of mr. Howard, which worked so well for the early entries in the series, is by now getting stale. Whereas the series has always had an element of power fantasy qua mr. Howards surprising abilities, this instance takes it too far in a bizarre and ultimately pointless subplot involving him impressing his desirable ex-girlfriend.

If you are craving for more super-natural spy novels, yet feel the Laundry series is getting stale, consider instead Daniel O'Malley's "The Rook" for an excellent different take on the genre.

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good paranormal horror thriller in which computational demonologist Bob discovers what seems to be a nest of vampires, except everyone he works with is convinced that vampires can't exist. While this didn't end with a cliffhanger, it did end with me exclaiming, "Wait, what?!" and looking for additional pages...

[Brok3n · Rating 5 out of 5]

Persons of Hemophagia

Book five of my all-time favorite Science Fiction series, Charles Stross' Laundry Files, The Rhesus Chart, begins with these words. “Don't be silly, Bob,” Said Mo. “Everybody knows vampires don’t exist.” You are not an idiot, dear reader. What do you think The Rhesus Chart is about? Right, vampires, got it in one. These are not canonical Bram Stoker vampires, of course, because those folks have a bunch of weird hang-ups that make no sense at all. Stross loses much of the arbitrary weirdness, but what remains are "unusual symptoms such as super-strength and -speed, an uncanny talent for mind control, an extreme allergic reaction to sunlight, and an unquenchable thirst for blood". So, they may not be vampires, exactly, but they're close enough for government work.

However, it might give the wrong impression to say that The Rhesus Chart is a vampire story. It *IS* a vampire story, but it's much more than that. The vampires are just the vehicle for a big pay-off. Or, to be more precise, the start of a big pay-off that will play out in the upcoming novels. Case Nightmare Green is on the horizon -- soon enough the reality we think we know is going to come unglued. Mahogany Row finds itself under assault in The Rhesus Chart -- the Laundry will never be the same again. By the end of the novel Bob Howard is changed forever. Soon Mo will be, too.

Like previous Laundry Files novels, The Rhesus Chart is narrated in the first person by Bob. That's about to change, though. The next novels and narrators are

Novel 6: The Annihilation Score, Mo.
Novel 7: The Nightmare Stacks, Alex Schwartz
Novel 8: The Delirium Brief, Bob is back!
Novel 9: The Labyrinth Index, Mhari Murphy

Thus, aside from the novella Escape from Yokai Land, Bob has only one turn left in the Laundry Files as it stands on 28-Dec-2023. You know who Mo is, of course. Alex is introduced in The Rhesus Chart. You could be forgiven for having forgotten Mhari -- she was introduced briefly in The Atrocity Archives, where she played the role of Bob's psycho ex. She is reintroduced in The Rhesus Chart. It's been more than ten years, and both she and Bob have done some growing up.

There are, additionally, three novels set in the world of the Laundry Files subsequent to The Labyrinth Index. Stross has made it clear that he considers these novels to be the start of a new series called the New Management. There will be a novella in the Laundry Files proper and a final full-fledged novel to wrap up the Laundry, but at the moment those exist only in Stross's imagination.

The Rhesus Chart is the biggest story that has been told so far in the Laundry Files. It's the essential link to the subsequent novels, which will see the world changed forever.

Blog review.

[Michael Finocchiaro · Rating 4 out of 5]

I finally realized while reading this one (Bob meets PHANG vampires!) what Stross was accomplishing here. In his other writing, Singularity Sky and Accelerando, he was obsessing with the Singularity when AIG happens (something somewhat likely to happen in my lifetime alongside practical fusion reactors and quantum computing). What I realized is that the stuff that the Laundry is fighting - all the multi-dimensional monsters and the foreboding NIGHTMARE GREEN - are actually a stand-in for our latent anxiety about AIG. What I mean is that rather than talking about artificial intelligence creating Skynet and Terminator 2, he transferred the AI bit into the multi-dimensional monsters who will absolutely invade at some point in this series (in what, book 8 or 9?) and I find that to be pretty ingenious. Who else out there picked up on this?

[Wing Kee · Rating 4 out of 5]

A different take on the vampire genre.

World: The world building has always been fantastic and very Strossian. We get the same here, through his lens we see vampires differently and it all ties into the internal logic of the world, it's different, it's unique and I did not expect that at all. Good stuff. The world building is actually also tied into consequences and status quo changes this time and that's a huge thing. Where Bob ends in this book changes the world completely, but I won't spoil that.

Story: Taking the vampire tale into a different direction what not what I expected. I thought we would get the classic idea of what a vampire is and it would be rolled into Stross' universe but that's not the case here. They are different and this is a very different type of vampire story with a lot of office cloak and dagger and politics added to it and the dry humour that Stross books have. It's so funky weird that it made me giggle out loud a couple of times. Then there's the bigger story with Bob and Max and how big of a shift this book adds to that dynamic. This book really moved the world forward and changed the status quo.

Characters: Bob has always been dry and full of wit and a different point of view than most supernatural books I read, his nonchalant nature makes this world and it's absurdity fun. His arc this time around like all Stross books of the series is not really deep but it does hit hard when it needs to. This is not the biggest part of Stross books but it is there. The vampires are unique and different and their drive is an interesting one and how Stross rolled their historical powers into his own world is fascinating.

I really enjoyed this dry book, it has all the things that the series is known for and it took the world somewhere I did not expect.

Onward to the next book!

[SP · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another very strong book in Stross's The Laundry Files series. This outing was surprisingly dark (yes, even given the Lovecraftian subject matter), but in a way that makes me excited to read the next book in the series. I also thought that Stross's willingness to kill Angleton and have Mo and Bob prepare to separate suggests a certain maturity as a writer.

So far, I've found every odd-numbered book in The Laundry Files series to be great. Atrocity Archives (book 1), Fuller Memorandum (book 3), and Rhesus Chart (book 5) are excellent. Jennifer Morgue (book 2) and Apocalypse Codex (book 4) were decent, but didn't stack up as well against the others. I'm just hoping the upcoming Annihilation Score bucks the trend and joins the other high-flyers.

I really enjoyed Rhesus Chart, I'm sure I will read it again, and I expect I will reread it more than once in the future. To me, that justifies five stars.

[Redsteve · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is my second go-round with The Rhesus Chart and I liked it somewhat better than the first time (I’d give it a solid 3 stars rather than a barely 3 stars). You’d think that I’d like the Laundry Files treatment of vampirism (as I did other books with Stross’ interpretations of Medusa-Atrocity Archives, Unicorns-Equoid, or elves and dragons-Nightmare Stacks), but I didn’t.. Don’t get me wrong; it was OK (Stross DID introduce one factor that really turns to vampires into monsters *cough* V-parasite *cough*) but not the “Wow! What a disturbing spin on this creature of legend.” that I often get from these books. There were a number of interesting plot twists, but I felt that they could have been delivered more elegantly. In short, a decent Laundry Files novel, but not a great one. NOTE: the Alex character didn’t do anything for me in this book, but he’s grown on me in later installments of the series.

[Rasmus Skovdal · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Rhesus Chart, the fifth Laundry book, in which our hero battles the scariest monster known to man: the investment banker (who happens to be a vampire, also).


The good:

Scaled down (-ish) plot, personal stakes (it's a vampire novel – stakes – get it? Ha. Ha.) and a bit more spy action than in the last two or so books.

The characters have aged since the first book. The world actually progresses.

Not-Marianne was an amusing take on the vampire hunter, if a bit heavy-handed.


The bad:

Clumsy resolution to marital issues, and at times it felt like a setup; getting all the pieces in place, removing dead wood.


The ugly:

Incessant pop culture / Internet culture references. It feels incredibly pandering at times. “Oh, you're a nerd, you're reading this – now watch me reference Reddit!” They've always been there, but it was pretty bad in this one.


Overall, this is still a pretty good series, and I'm interested in the next one.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well bloody hell. That didn't end the way I expected it to (and that's not a bad thing!). Unsurprisingly as Case NIGHTMARE GREEN continues to approach, the Laundry series continues to get darker. I don't want to say too much because this one in particular really needs to not have anything approaching spoilers. But argh! What I actually said when the audio ended (BTW the audio version kicks some serious butt) was "Well sh*t". I cannot wait for the next one (late next year alas!). Well played again Mr. Stross!

[Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Charles Storss, how are you managing to break my heart twice in one spy/vampire/bureaucrat/Cthulu mash-up novel? Can't wait for number 6.

[Megan Baxter · Rating 4 out of 5]

Perhaps it would be inevitable that the Laundry would have to deal with vampires, eventually. Or would they? After all, everyone knows that vampires don't exist...and they seem particularly sure of it in that bureaucratic branch of the British civil service that deals with gibbering horrors and threats from beyond.

Note: The rest of this review has been withheld due to the changes in Goodreads policy and enforcement. You can read why I came to this decision here.

In the meantime, you can read the entire review at Smorgasbook

[Kieran McAndrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Laundry: a covert branch of HM Civil Service, where science and magic collide.

When Bob Howard calls a Code Blue on a vampire coven operating within a merchant bank, he is somewhat horrified to hear the continual mantra that of course vampires don't exist. Something very odd is happening in an office where the strange is the order of the day.

A weird tale, with plenty of action and some black humour to propel an horrific tale in which almost every character is guilty of something.

[C.T. Phipps · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Everybody knows vampires don't exist."

I love the Laundry series, it's one of the most interesting urban fantasy series I've seen in recent years. It's unique combination of British spy fiction, computer lingo, and the Cthulhu Mythos has made it a smashing success. With good reason. While I wasn't a big fan of The Jennifer Morgue, I've loved all novels before and since. I also am quite fond of the short-stories and novellas. So, when The Rhesus Chart came out, I was one of the first buyers.

The premise of The Rhesus Chart is secret agent/computer geek Bob Howard discovers no one in the Laundry believes in vampires. This is strange given all of its members are well aware of three facts: 1. Monsters are real. 2. Magic is real. 3. Magic is capable of making anything someone believes in sufficiently real, especially monsters.

I confess, I was initially rather put off by this premise. There is no end of vampire novels and the ones I like the most, like The Dresden Files, barely deal with them. The Laundry has, by and large, dealt with the much less-well-developed concept of alien monsters. Could Charles Stross bring his special brand of oddity to the well-trodden path of vampire fiction?

Kind of. Yeah.

I say this because The Rhesus Chart does a lot of things differently about vampires. They burn up in the sun, need blood to survive, are immortal, and super-strong but this is about the only things they have going for them. For one, everyone they bite *dies* and they're the product of magic rather than the "traditional" method of turning. In this case, the vampires who appear to be the first of their kind are all modern investment bankers too.

So not much has changed for their lifestyle (*rimshot*). Actually, I was surprised at how few jokes about the deplorable state of the banking industry was made by Charles Stross. Perhaps he thought it would be too easy of a joke to make. Either way, the vampires are some of the most hilarious parts of this book as we see them cope with an existence which is increasingly revealed to be dangerous to all mankind.

The mixture of humor and pathos in this book is surprising. On the humor side, we have the whining babied executives and Bob Howard's struggle to be taken seriously as he tries to explain that, yes, vampires are real. There's an almost too-over-the-top moment where Bob is assigned to read the complete works of some of the past three decades best vampire fiction authors and write a report on them--which is great, except for the fact they're fictional while the real ones are next door. They even get the codename DRESDEN RICE.

That's adorable.

On the pathos side, we suffer some surprising deaths and the removal of a longstanding series element. There's also a tragic story about Mo's PTSD stemming from having to deal with the fact she's anti-capital punishment but forced to cooperate with governments who practice it frequently in order to deal with a supernatural problem. Which wouldn't be bad if not for her help resulting in potentially hundreds of more executions occurring.

We also get the return of Bob's first girlfriend in the series: Mhari. I, for one, didn't welcome this change as the character was one-note and a stereotype at first. While she's broadened considerably, she still remains quite a shallow character. This is more than made up for by the fact the rest of the book is filled with conspiracy, plans within plans, and Bob being extremely competent at rooting out traitors.

In conclusion, I heartily approve of the latest addition to the Laundry franchise. I can't wait for the next book and look forward to reading it.

9/10

[Cale · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. I've liked all of the books in the Laundry Files, but this one is the best so far. An accident by a bank stock group leads to an infection that, well, they're not quite vampires, but close enough for government work. And from there, things spiral way out of control. This book builds amazingly well; I was a little annoyed by some of the chapter beginnings which seem to rehash previous events like it was published serially, and there's a foreshadowing that seems a bit heavy handed, but when the climax comes, and more importantly the aftershocks, I can't say it was exaggerating anything. This book moves everything forward, Bob's job, his relationships, the people in the Laundry; the minute hand on the death clock has moved inexorably forward.
That's not to say this isn't a funny book too; I think I laughed more with this one than any of the previous. And the characters have surprising depth, and the balance between bureaucratic nonsense and otherworldly influences is perfect. The ending is surprising, but earned. I don't know what to say; this book really is that good. Charles Stross has always had the balance of comedy, horror, action, and politics near perfect, but he knocked it out of the park with this one.

[Aaron · Rating 5 out of 5]

As always, this Laundry Files novel takes excellent aim at current IT and organizational fads as well as horror/SF cliches, and delivers a rollicking adventure at the same time. I had just been reading up on agile methodology for software development and was thoroughly entertained by this book's warped application of the agile "Scrum" framework to how a contemporary nest of vampires would work through their objectives.

The protagonist, Bob Howard, is also reaching maturity as circumstances enable him to further develop latent talents that have been emerging over the last couple of novels. The author also does a great job of bringing in references from prior books--we see references to or appearances by a number of characters that we've met previously, which helps to maintain continuity throughout the series.

Overall, a very enjoyable read that I would recommend to aficionados of horror and supernatural SF, as well as anyone with even a slightly critical or sarcastic take on organizational life in general and IT fads in particular.

[Margaret · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bob Howard works for The Laundry, a secret department of the British Government. They are, basically, an occult version of MI5.

No-one believes in vampires, so when a nest of vampires appears in Canary Wharf, all hell breaks loose for Bob and his comrades. As the body count rises, Bob and the boys may have met their match.

"The Rhesus Chart" rips along nicely. An excellent story. A spy thriller with lashings of Lovecraft and humongous helpings of humour.

The characters are well rounded and interesting. I am particular fond of the Vicar, Peter. I do hope he makes a return appearance.

The only thing I found a little heavy going was the jargon. It did detract a little bit from my enjoyment. However, the committee names and the acronyms, WOMBAT (Waste Of Money, Brains, And Time) was my personal favourite. This one will be finding its way into my regular conversation, you can count on it.

"The Rhesus Chart" is part of a series, and I am now going to get the others to read. You can't get higher praise than that.

Highly recommended.