Invasion of the Road Weenies: and Other Warped and Creepy Tales

Weenies #2

by David Lubar

Watch out for the road weenies!
A town is overrun by road weenies--a.k.a. joggers--who never smile. A girl thinks she's too old for Halloween...until she finds a special pair of gloves. A boy takes a shortcut to an unexpected place. A mummy takes his revenge, one little piece at a time.... Welcome to the weird and wacky world of award-winning storyteller and master of the macabre, David Lubar. These thirty-five tales ranging from the silly and offbeat to flat-out horrifying are just right for reading alone or for telling aloud in the dark. As an added bonus at the end of the book, David answers the question most frequently asked of writers with a behind-the-scenes look at the various ways he got the ideas for the stories in this collection. Don't be a weenie. Read these stories. If you dare!

The last Halloween --
Bed tings --
The dead won't hurt you --
Copies --
Shaping the fog --
Willard's oppositional notebook --
A tiny little piece --
The La Brea toy pits --
Mr. Lambini's haunted house --
Numbskull --
A little night fishing --
Precious memories --
Baby talk --
Unseen --
Flyers --
Every autumn --
Goose eggs --
Fresh from the garden --
The covered bridge --
Buzz off --
Just desserts --
The whole nine yards --
The green man --
Dizzy spells --
The tank --
Anything you want --
Lines --
Wandering Stu --
Tarnation --
Ten pounds of chocolate --
The boy who wouldn't talk --
Invasion of the road weenies --
We interrupt this program --
The smell of death --
The shortcut

Genres: Fantasy, Fiction, Short Stories, Humor, Horror, Childrens, Middle Grade

192 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published September 1, 2005

About the author

David Lubar created a sensation with his debut novel, Hidden Talents, an ALA Best Book for Young Adults. Thousands of kids and educators across the country have voted Hidden Talents onto over twenty state lists. David is also the author of True Talents, the sequel to Hidden Talents; Flip, an ALA Best Book for Young Adults and a VOYA Best Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror selection; several short story collections: In the Land of the Lawn Weenies, Invasion of the Road Weenies, The Curse of the Campfire Weenies, The Battle of the Red Hot Pepper Weenies, and Attack of the Vampire Weenies; and the Nathan Abercrombie, Accidental Zombie series. Lubar grew up in Morristown, New Jersey, and he has also lived in New Brunswick, Edison and Piscataway, NJ, and Sacramento, CA. Besides writing, he has also worked as a video game programmer and designer. He now lives in Nazareth, Pennsylvania.

http://us.macmillan.com/author/davidl...

Reviews

[Veronica]

I thought this was the finest, most intriguing piece of literature when I was 9 years old.

[Grace B]

ty augustine for this nostalgic gift!!! I finally finished it!

[Kristen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a good source of creepy short stories for the upper elementary crowd. A handful of them are really skin-crawling, like the kid being chased through the cemetary by a bad guy who says, "Run, run, run! It makes it more fun!" *shudder* But there are many I can read aloud to a class, like the big sister complaining about how her three-year old brother found the genie bottle before she could, and now he's wishing for weird things like peas when she would've been smart and wished for a gazillion dollars. Lubar gets the kid-sensibility, and each story is short enough to be read aloud to a big group without losing anyone.

[Emmett · Rating 2 out of 5]

It has many short stories that are either scary or gross. It is not horribly scary olny a little bit. And as far as gross goes if you dont like bugs, and thinking there crawling up your leg reader discresion is advised.
I think this is a good book. but not amazing theres olny about twenty so it will olny entertain for a little while. But it is not scary for me. But who knows it might be scary for you.
I recomend it for people 5-8 for it to be scary. I think it might scare a 5 year old if he was scared of every thing.

[Elissa Hoole · Rating 5 out of 5]

My sixth grade students and I were introduced to David Lubar in the Guys Read: Funny Business anthology, and I picked this collection up this summer hoping to be able to use it in my teaching with the same group of kids--struggling but not necessarily reluctant readers. The stories in this book are perfect--a great readaloud or independent reading length, and almost every one begins with a great "What if?" concept...perfect fodder for writing prompts, high-level questioning, and overall just fun, engaging discussions. Terrific!

[Jessica Camara · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has some great creepy (and/or strange) stories, "The Dead Won't Hurt You", "A Tiny Little Piece", "The Shortcut", "Numbskull" and "Mr. Lambini's Haunted House" to name a few - I've read some of them to 6th grade classes around Halloween - very fun! It's tough to find good, creepy, not overly long stories to share with classes in a class period, but these work really well. Glad I stumbled upon it, am planning on checking out some of the others in the series as well.

[Madeline · Rating 5 out of 5]

Now this book scared the bee-jeebies out of me! Caution,this book is full of creepy, scary, sad, monster and mystery filled stories that attack when you aren't looking. Just looking at the title and seeing the cover you hear alarms going off in your head. If you cant live without a good creepy tale, get this IMMEDIATLY!!!Be warned, cause the invasion starts at a bookstore near you!

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

this book is so mcuh fun. david and i had so much fun reading it. the stories were a good length to read together before bed. they were also very creative in the variations from story to story. i only gave it 4 stars because it has some of the same stories as the lawn weenies.

[Barrett Hall · Rating 2 out of 5]

“Marlon spent three weeks gathering all the information.
When he was done, he discovered that the map revealed a secret. They cover every single road in town, he thought. Each day, the joggers ran over every mile of roadway.”

The fourth book in the “Weenies” series from David Lubar I have read and this has been my least favorite by far. Overall, this collection was just more childish and a lot less creepy and dark than the others have been. I felt that this one was too focused on entertaining rather than scaring, which can be fine, I just went in with higher expectations based on what I have read in the series so far.

The Last Halloween
Very cute, very heartwarming in a dark way, and very atmospheric. I felt the air and the leaves and the smells and everything about the environment and the day from description alone.

Bed Tings
I always give a slight groan whenever one of these shorts ends with a pun. It was short, it was all right, nothing memorable, but nothing bad.

The Dead Won't Hurt You
Part of the reason I love David Lubar and his stories are due to the fact that he really doesn’t shy away from describing and depicting very graphic situation such as the one in this short. I was shocked by how this one was resolved, and very happy reading the ending, it was very heartwarming in a very dark way.

Copies
It’s in reading short stories like these where you realize the target audience for these books and have to remember that they are not for an older audience, not that an older audience can’t enjoy it, but these were not written to be analyzed or thought about much. Just as this one is, these are meant to be short entertaining stories for children, and if you’re not a child, they can come off as just a bit odd and uncomfortable. Not bad.

Shaping the Fog
If the one before this reminded me explicitly about how these stories are for children, this one explicitly reminds me of how existential and adults these books can get, as well. This one was very short, very disturbing, and very memorable. It’s a very unique story that is very simple but very brilliantly executed.

Willard's Oppositional Notebook
Another good, short, somewhat forgettable short that wasn’t great, but wasn’t bad either. Very middle of the road, really great set up with a mediocre pay off.

A Tiny Little Piece
That one was rather good. It had great set up and a great pay off that perfectly showed the karma of Julie, a girl just wanting to take a little piece of history for herself and history, in this case a mummy, wanting a piece back. Short but well executed.

The La Brea Toy Pits
A little goofy, a little more commentary based than fiction based, this one was okay but hit a little too much on the message of the story rather than the story itself. It was alright.

Mr. Lambini's Haunted House
That was pretty much as middle of the road as you could get with a story. It was very generic and went exactly how I expected it to go. I wish the ending had gone a little more creative as I know Lubar can do.

Numbskull
Honestly rather confusing one on where the horror comes from. I feel like this was the start to a really good story that kind of ended before it ever got good.

A Little Night Fishing
That was a really touching a little short story that was a lot deeper (no pun intended) than I would have expected from these books.

Precious Memories
That was an awesome Goosebumps story wrapped up in the three pages. This was so well executed and this short exemplifies just why I love reading these stories still to this day.

Baby Talk
That was half of a good idea that just didn’t really go anywhere. It was short, kind of cute, easily forgettable.

Unseen
Despite being written for children, I don’t think I understood the story. It was rather confusing as to what was happening. I don’t understand the ending.

Flyers
A fun little story about always wanting more with an either intentional or unintentional message about how the greed of the wealthy will eventually destroy our planet.

Every Autumn
A rather dark and disturbing story that conjured up images of Stephen King’s “It” and child abduction.

Goose Eggs
A rather dark short that was just as much about karma as it was about the circle of life and nature. Overall, really good and rather clever.

Fresh from the Garden
That one was rather disappointing and not fully fleshed out like I would want it to be. It had an interesting turn halfway through, but there’s nothing really came about it and the story just ended. Not great, but not the worst.

The Covered Bridge
That was an interesting one. It had an interesting set up and a unique payoff that really had nothing to do with the set up. This felt like two stories combined into one, and so it wasn’t fully focused or realized. I feel like if this was broken up into two separate shorts focusing on the different elements set up, it would’ve been a lot better.

Buzz Off
A decent short that didn’t really have anything interesting to say or convey in it. Completely middle of the road and completely forgettable.

Just Desserts
Well that was a rather fucked up story. It was a lot of buildup and a surprisingly dark pay off that I was not expecting. Pretty great little story.

The Whole Nine Yards
Well that kid is a horrible friend. This was rather dull, and while it had an interesting ending, it just didn’t do much or say anything in the end.

The Green Man
That was rather deep and bordered on existential horror versus anything that has come before in this series. Almost to retelling of the bogeyman in a way, this was a very effective short.

Dizzy Spells
That was rather dark with a great twist of karma. You get what you wish for, and this was really great on executing on a simple premise.

The Tank
So that story was pretty great, but one thing I’m realizing with these stories is that the ones that have really good set ups usually have a payoff that makes sense, but because they end at the peak of the moment, there’s no after thoughts to what comes next. It gets a bit frustrating when you want to know what comes after the end of a story, but there’s nothing even hinted at with this one.

Anything You Want
That was a rather interesting premise that had a pretty bad ending. That was really close to being really good, but just missed the mark.

Lines
I haven’t finished the story yet, but I’m two sentences in and recognize two references to The Beatles, so I feel very pleased. After reading the story, it’s interesting that this one has references to The Beatles, as it has nothing to do with music or anything like it. This one was really good and rather dark, but follows in the same steps of so many where the ending is pretty good, but there is more that needs to be said. There’s so much more that is made by my imagination and reading these that you can’t help but want to know what happens after.

Wandering Stu
Another pretty great story that I was really interested in, but as soon as the end came, I shouted once again “what happens next?”

Tarnation
That was a really good story that had a really simple premise but just executed on it so well. I think this one just scratches enough of the surface to be considered a complete short, but I would love to know what would come that next night, and then the other night after that should the monster return.

Ten Pounds of Chocolate
That one was pretty fine. It was very middle of the road in standard, but I liked that it had a definite end for our characters and an overall great atmosphere. I think it was just not enough of what it wanted to be or tell.

The Boy Who Wouldn't Talk
That was a pretty interesting story that finally did have a fantastic ending. Where most of the stories would’ve finished where our main character couldn’t move, it continues after that into their inner monologue and gives a very satisfying resolution to a pretty well done story.

Invasion of the Road Weenies
That was probably the best story in the book so far. I’m not sure if it’s coincidental that it’s the titular short story of the book, but this one was just very solid. It had a very intriguing concept and a really great set up and pay off for everything.

We Interrupt This Program
That was an interesting short. I’m always confused on the way death is handled in the shorts, because there have been shorts were people have died, including main characters whose POV we follow, but I never know the real world implications of these characters deaths. Especially with this one, where the younger brother just passes the death of his older brother in a episode of Star Trek as nothing but now needed a new remote. Are the parents going to say the same thing, are they going to wonder where their other son went, I am not sure.

The Smell of Death
That was a pretty good karma story that had a very unique message done in a way that resonates with most people. I think it was a bit meh overall, but still solid all around.

The Shortcut
This one story kind of made up for the lack luster of 90% of this collection. This one was actually dark both metaphorically and literally, and I loved it. I wish the other stories had had this level of dark to them.

[Koltin M · Rating 5 out of 5]

¨Invasion of the Road Weenies and Other Warped and Creepy Tales¨ is one of a kind book written by David Lubar. The book is about different strange short horror stories. But one of the stories is about a kid that goes to school and every day on the bus he sees the same people jogging with the same expression. Later that day he asked his friend about the joggers. His friend didn't know much. The next day he made a map of his town and used it to follow the joggers. In a couple of months, he had a map filled with every jogger's jog and noticed a pattern where they all ended up at one location. Later that day he went to that location and found something terrifying. This book is another great book by David Lubar. I gave this book a 5 out of 5 because I like the creativity and how funny it is. The theme of the book is to be careful what you plan for. If you liked any other book Lubar made, check this out.

[Rebecca Sofferman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have loved these books for years, ever since I chose a story from one of them for a 4th grade boy's book club and it basically turned the whole thing into a David Lubar book club, which was awesome, and he even Skyped with us at the end of the year. The stories are creepy but not so scary I can't read them (I hate horror movies and scary books, as a rule). They are funny but not so silly that they cease to be realistic, for the most part. Perfect for reluctant readers. Highly recommend for a pretty broad age range from upper elementary through middle and into high school.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a collection of short, scary stories for elementary aged kids. My older boys have read this whole series over and over. Isaac just started reading one at school and loved it, so he wanted me to read him one. Some of the stories seemed a little too scary, but I think he liked those the best.

I don't love reading short stories, but I'm glad we found a book Isaac enjoyed.

[Beth Matsoukis · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed Book #4 of the Weenies series better. A number of the stories in this book just couldn’t hold my attention. The best story was “And Now to Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Program”. Imagine a TV remote that could drop you into your favorite program...

[Linus Spacehead · Rating 5 out of 5]

Collection of short stories that are as addictive as peanuts or meth, some of the stories are genuinely freaky (Unseen, Flyers) while others are pretty fun and clever (Willard's Oppositional Notebook, Dizzy Spells)

[Isabella]

everyone talks about scary stories to tell in the dark but no one talks about these. these are genuinely horrifying. i read them in elementary school and to this day and still scared shitless thinking about EVERY story in here

[Aurora Dimitre · Rating 4 out of 5]

Invasion of the Road Weenies. Fun little collection, will be putting it in the classroom. They're edgy but not inappropriate, which is nice; kids'll feel like they're ~getting away with something~ and thus read more. Wins all around.

[Edie Walls · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really loved these stories as a kid. This is one of three of these books that I owned and read over and over, and it's surprising to me how well I still remember the stories, and how much they influenced my early taste in media.

[Trey Ramm · Rating 4 out of 5]

The concepts of the stories are fantastic, but it's clear who the target audience is. Great for kids, but not for adults. Now I want to read creepy stories like this which are written at a more appropriate level.

[Anson Tran · Rating 4 out of 5]

Author is very smart and makes the story unpredictable until the very end where we figure it all out and are surprised. Would reads agun.

[Carolyn · Rating 2 out of 5]

Silly and gross short tales that probably would delight elementary school boys.

[Brodie O'Keefe]

It was good

[Claire Pyne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVE THESE BOOKS!!! These stories were my childhood. I still think about them to this day.

[Lisa Keenan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lots of short, not so creepy tales, in this book, some better than others. I didn’t read them all but the ones I did read were not scary and some had a humorous twist.

[Ezra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Revisited this old favorite as something light to carry around. Great selection of fun, spooky, unique stories!

[Caleb Lattin · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was ok, it had lots of description and imagery. The tales in this book were a little creepy and pretty warped. The thing I didn't like was that it didn't have very much of a thesis. It was also pretty jumpy, and by jumpy in mean we were talking about joggers who never smile, and them we go into talking about a barn. This book was mainly just to entertain you. One story was about when a girl takes a piece of bandage off a manny in a museum. Then she almost put it back because if everyone took a piece, there would be none left. That night, the mummy came in and plucked one of the hairs off or her head. Then the next night another mummy came and took another piece of hair. This continued until there was no hair left on her head. Now, this story is very warped. All of the other stories are creepy like this in some way. I would recommend this book to upper elementary schoolers.

[Heather · Rating 1 out of 5]

I only read two stories out of this book. I agree that they were creative.

However, I was reading this to my eight-year old third grader and was not happy about the content. Her teacher had read some of them to her in school, so I had assumed they wouldn't be that creepy but they were.

I summarized the two stories that I read to a friend to make sure I wasn't overreacting.

Then I told my daughter we weren't going to read anymore of those stories at home. She actually seemed thankful and admitted that she had gotten freaked out reading another story about a black cat, and was sad that she was kind of afraid of our black cat now!

So again, very creative but not topics I wish to spend time on. GIGO

[Michele · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent collection of short stores that are very suitable for class read-aloud. Stories range from silly to creepy. Especially enjoyed:
'Shaping the Fog' - children sneak out to play in the fog, making playthings and creatures. All is fun until the littlest one attempts to make one like himself.
'Wandering Stu' - deals with selfishness and introduces futility of bureaucracy.
'Lines' - On the way to a school assembly a girl decides to walk next to her friend instead of a single file line. Great jumping point for discussion on acting outside the norm, breaking rules, etc.

[jiawei Ong · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you think about it, writing a horror book about one story might be difficult but writing a horror book with like 30 different story books is even more diffucult, because you need to think of more problems, endings, and monsters. "The Dead Won't Hurt You," about a kid who walks around a grave to see if anything hurts you, was one of my favorite stories. "Buzz off," about a boy who had bees all over him, was another one of my favorite tales. David Lubar's mind is filled with a lot of horror stories and ideas.

[Emmanuel Rojas · Rating 5 out of 5]

My book was a bunch of scary stories.My favorite was the dead cant hurt you i liked it because it was about a boy whose friends dared him to go to the cemetery at night on halloween.so the next day he walked to the cemetery and remenbered about his friend that passed away.So he looked at his friends grave and someone tapped him.he told him the dead doesnt hurt you the living does.He starts chasing him but the man trips and fell in a grave and he thought his dead friend helped him because thier was a hole in his grave.

[Tyler R · Rating 1 out of 5]

I didn't care for this book at all. I didn't think it would be that good but I told someone I would read whatever book they wanted me to. So I did read it I didn't enjoy it but at least it's done. This book has short little stories about dumb stuff, like people being changed into aliens, and worms taking over someone and taking them into the ground.