Smart Dragons, Foolish Elves

by Alan Dean Foster (Editor), Martin H. Greenberg (Editor), Anthony Boucher

Do wizards were funny hats? Do dragons have bad breath? Do dwarves have long, silly names without any vowels? Elf-indulgent collections of tales that skew the knight life, mock the magic, and hoot at hellspawn. By Boucher, Effinger, Ellison, Friesner, Resnick, Sheckley, Silverberg, Zelazny, and more.

Stories in the collection:

As Is by Robert Silverberg
The Same to You Doubled by Robert Sheckley
The Egg of the Glak by Harvey Jacobs
Beibermann's Soul by Mike Resnick
Thimgs by Theordore R. Cogswell
Ms. Lipshutz and the Goblin by Marvin Kaye
Unferno by George Alec Effinger
Unicorn Variations by Roger Zelazny
Yes Sir That's My by Daniel P. Dern
Please Stand By by Ron Goulart
Bottle Party by John Collier
My Mother Was a Witch by William Tenn
Djinn, NO Chaser by Harlan Ellison
Up the Wall by Esther M. Friesner
Trouble With Water by Horace L. Gold
Savage Breasts by Nina Kiriki Hoffman
Or the Grasses Grow by Avram Davidson
Snulbug by Anthony Boucher

Genres: Fantasy, Short Stories, Anthologies, Humor, Fiction, Adult, Science Fiction

340 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published March 1, 1991

About the author

Bestselling science fiction writer Alan Dean Foster was born in New York City in 1946, but raised mainly in California. He received a B.A. in Political Science from UCLA in 1968, and a M.F.A. in 1969. Foster lives in Arizona with his wife, but he enjoys traveling because it gives him opportunities to meet new people and explore new places and cultures. This interest is carried over to his writing, but with a twist: the new places encountered in his books are likely to be on another planet, and the people may belong to an alien race.

Foster began his career as an author when a letter he sent to Arkham Collection was purchased by the editor and published in the magazine in 1968. His first novel, The Tar-Aiym Krang, introduced the Humanx Commonwealth, a galactic alliance between humans and an insectlike race called Thranx. Several other novels, including the Icerigger trilogy, are also set in the world of the Commonwealth. The Tar-Aiym Krang also marked the first appearance of Flinx, a young man with paranormal abilities, who reappears in other books, including Orphan Star, For Love of Mother-Not, and Flinx in Flux.

Foster has also written The Damned series and the Spellsinger series, which includes The Hour of the Gate, The Moment of the Magician, The Paths of the Perambulator, and Son of Spellsinger, among others. Other books include novelizations of science fiction movies and television shows such as Star Trek, The Black Hole, Starman, Star Wars, and the Alien movies. Splinter of the Mind's Eye, a bestselling novel based on the Star Wars movies, received the Galaxy Award in 1979. The book Cyber Way won the Southwest Book Award for Fiction in 1990. His novel Our Lady of the Machine won him the UPC Award (Spain) in 1993. He also won the Ignotus Award (Spain) in 1994 and the Stannik Award (Russia) in 2000.

Reviews

[Craig · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an enjoyable and quite amusing anthology of funny fantasy stories. Some of them are a little dated by the standard of modern social conventions, but you're not meant to take them too seriously to begin with. I was most entertained by stories from H.L. Gold, Robert Silverberg, William Tenn, George Alec Effinger, Theodore R. Cogswell, and my three favorites were Snulbug by Anthony Boucher, Roger Zelazny's Unicorn Variations, and Harlan Ellison's Djinn, No Chaser.

[K.T. Katzmann · Rating 3 out of 5]

You ever revisit a childhood classic and kinda wish you didn't?

I've had this one since before my Bar Mitzvah. I don't know whether I bought the beaten paperback from the library or "forgot" to return it, but it's seen plenty of bookshelves. I've taken it down once or twice a year to reread my favorites, but now I'm decided to dive in and reread them all. I loved it as a kid. It has to hold up, right?


So... I've learned a few lessons about rereading the SF/F of my youth.

1) If it's funny fantasy from the 50's, Jews are everywhere.



Which is awesome... unless it isn't.



I'm pretty sure this was the first Non-YA book I read where I saw other Jews in it. There's a brilliant story by William Tenn about Yiddish witches, and I'm pretty sure it's the ancient DNA stuck around my consciousness long enough to evolve into the way I write Judaism in Murder With Monsters.

A Jewish guy annoys a water-gnome. A Jewish guy takes over Hell, and talks with an angel who speaks Yiddish. Maybe "funny Jewish guy" was a stock comedy character back then. I didn't see any overtly racist portrays, but they seem so prevalent. Take out a half dozen stories, and this could almost be the Jewish fantasy anthology.

Are we the joke?

2) You Miss the Uncomfortable Stuff When You're Young

In "Mrs. Lipshutz and the Goblin," the punchline is that an unattractive feminist is willing to settle for a goblin. Women want to marry, after all.



Traces of 50's misogyny definitely show up. Not everywhere, certainly. Not in Harlan Ellison's delightful "Djinn, No Chaser." It's there, though, along with a homophobic part I completely missed as a kid.

I never liked "The Egg of the Glak" as a kid. The prose was above me. Now I realize that the entire story is about a guy basically babysitting a dodo egg while getting laid.

3) Some Stories Aren't as Good... Because You've Read Them Too Much

It is entirely possible to ruin an anthology by rereading the surprise away.

4) Those That Kick Ass May Yet Kick Ass

Aside from Tenn's, there's the beauty of Unicorn Variations. I can honestly say that I'm a published writer today because of that book, and the eponymous story about black unicorns, chess, and bars is still amazing. Even it's origin rules: Zelazny had offers to write for a chess anthology, a bar anthology, and a unicorn anthology, so he wrote one story with all three and, with the editors' knowledge, sold it three times.

"My Mother is a Witch," "Djinn, No Chaser," and "Unicorn Variations" are all brilliant. If you can't find them elsewhere, they're worth tracking down here.

So how is it overall? There's a story about a woman's whose breasts start punching people, and one about a were-elephant. With my earlier caveats, that should really be all the pertinent information you need to know.

[Steven · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sometimes it's hard to believe how much our society has changed in just a two decades. I mean, the Honeymooners had a threat of domestic violence as its catchphrase. This collection of humorous fantasy stories, originally published in 1991, isn't quite as bad as all that, but many of the stories assume gender and even racial stereotypes that no longer pass muster.

Some of the tales - such as the contributions from Roger Zelazny and Robert Silverberg - hold up extremely well. Their humor is character based, rather than situational.

Too many of the others, though, rely on stereotypical roles for women (secretaries, "needing a man", shrewish wife) or racist stereotypes about Jewish business owners for their humor. (I really don't know if the authors were/are Jewish themselves, but honestly, that's kind of beside the point.) Alan Dean Foster's introductions are, by today's standards, quite chauvinistic indeed.

As a result, many (over half) of the stories fall flat. Or you might find them funny - but unintentionally so. It's a shame, because the good stories herein *are* worth reading. Pick this book up at a library, or on the cheap at a used bookstore, if for no other reason than to realize how far we've come towards gender equity and race relationship since 1991.

[Joe · Rating 3 out of 5]

A collection of funny stories, most were not new when collected here. Some are better than others, as is normal with these things.

As Is by Robert Silverberg 1968 – A road trip story featuring an unusual car and a mystery.
The Same to You Doubled by Robert Sheckley 1971- Clever wish/curse story with an interesting premise.

The Egg of the Glak by Harvey Jacobs 1960 A short tale, considering language as history and concerning an egg. This has the tones of the treasure adventures of very early spec fiction that always seem to feature an antagonist student, nephew, or the like in the race against our hero. Good finish.

Beibermann's Soul by Mike Resnick 1988 Short and sharp bit about art vs commerce.

Thimgs by Theordore R. Cogswell 1958-- a weird little story about vengeance and karma. Any humor is of the darkly ironic persuasion.

Ms. Lipshutz and the Goblin by Marvin Kaye 1979- A well intentioned story that might read as a bit dated. Great last line brings home the intended flavor I think.

Unferno by George Alec Effinger 1985- A story about a mix up in post-mortem assignment. One of the more modern of the stories in this collection for all of it’s “take my wife, please” energy.

Unicorn Variations by Roger Zelazny 1982- One of my favorite stories from him. It is available elsewhere so if you don’t read it here, seek it out.

Yes Sir That's My by Daniel P. Dern 1978- Gender bending tale of a pregnancy. Mr. Dern also authored a how to guide for the internet. Which also seems funny, now.

Please Stand By by Ron Goulart 1961- Just a simple Mad Man, Occult Detective Christmas tale here.

Bottle Party by John Collier 1939-New Yorker Writer turns in a genie story of elegance and sophistication until the end which might require a trigger warning for the more gentle reader.

My Mother Was a Witch by William Tenn 1966- I liked this story quite a bit. It has a new world/old world feel to it and a fierce mom looking out for her family.

Djinn, NO Chaser by Harlan Ellison 1982- Famously cantankerous, usually serious. Here is another genie tale with a punchline.

Up the Wall by Esther M. Friesner 1990- I’ve read several of her stories in the types of anthologies. This one is set along Hadrian’s wall and would probably appeal to the Abercrombie fans of today.

Trouble With Water by Horace L. Gold 1939- Kind of a weird twist on hydrophobia. The wee folk are involved.

Savage Breasts by Nina Kiriki Hoffman 1988- Perhaps the less said the better about both introduction and story, you’ll either like it or you won’t.

Or the Grasses Grow by Avram Davidson 1958- If memory serves, a story about a deal with indigenous peoples that might not turn out as expected.

Snulbug by Anthony Boucher 1941- Call up a demon, beware and be aware.

[Giovanni · Rating 4 out of 5]

The stories are old enough that some definitely show their age, and since they're all written by different authors they're kind of all over the place in quality, tone, and content -- which, of course, one should expect in an anthology -- but on the whole this was a fun way to while away an afternoon. A few entries were, to be frank, damp squibs -- "The Egg of the Glak" could have stood to be several pages shorter, and I didn't quite care for the endings of a few of these -- but most were entertaining. "Unicorn Variations" was very nice, and the one about the Roman soldier and the dragon got a good groan out of me once I caught on to what the twist was.

Also, there's a story where a woman's breasts gain a mind of their own and start punching people. That is not a thing I expected to read about when I got this book, and yet here we are.

[Riju Ganguly · Rating 3 out of 5]

This anthology contains eighteen longish tales. Some were good. Some were meh. Some were bad. Nothing unusual for anthologies, in short.
My favourites were~
1. Robert Silverberg's "As Is";
2. Robert Sheckley's "The Same to You, Doubled";
3. Mike Resnick's "Beibermann's Soul";
4. Marvin Kaye's "Ms. Lipshutz and the Goblin";
5. Ron Goulart's "Please Stand By";
6. John Collier's "Bottle Party";
7. William Tenn's "My Mother Was a Witch";
8. Esther M Friesner's "Up the Wall" (undoubtedly the best story in this collection).
Overall, a readable and mostly good anthology.

[Serena · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is an anthology of short stories so there were a couple of really good stories and several others that were merely okay. It probably has something in it that everyone who enjoys fantasy short stories will like, but I doubt anyone would be wowed by every story in this collection.

[Paul Knighton · Rating 3 out of 5]

Many different styles of comedy story with a wry twist, quite a few slightly showing their age with anachronistic stereotypes. Funny and charming nonetheless. Just dated.

[Ken · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a collection of older stories, but it is still fun!

[Alison Pashos · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a book of humorous fantasy short stories from the 70s/80s. Pretty entertaining but clearly dated stories, a good foray into funny fantasy for the first time.

[Harry · Rating 4 out of 5]

An anthology of short fantasy stories. IMHO the collection is uneven, with some being great, good and a waste of time.

[Betty · Rating 3 out of 5]

FMBS. Another anthology.

[Liana]

...I didn't find any of these stories to be funny. In fact, I thought most of them were kind of... disrespectful. And even a bit racist.

There are plenty of other ways to be funny without stereotyping and mocking groups of people. :P

Oh, and this book barely has anything to do with dragons and elves. Lol. I'm not even going to list this fantasy, because it... isn't? x'D

[M—]

not really very fun. No elves to speak of, and one very minor mention of a dragon. The cover illustration has nothing to do with any story in this book, and the humor proproted available here is really not funny.

As Is by Robert Silverberg (1968) -- car buying used
The Same to You Doubled by Robert Sheckley (1971) -- a forced, ha ha now my worst enemy will be forced to have too much sex.
The Egg of the Glak by Harvey Jacobs (1969) -- dnf
Beibermann’s Soul by Mike Resnick (1988) -- dnf
Thimgs by Theodore R. Cogswell (1958) -- dnf
Ms. Lipshutz and the Goblin by Marvin Kaye (1971) -- ugly woman finds happiness in marring goblin, becomes pretty, goblin manfully deals
Unferno by George Alec Effinger (1985) -- dnf
Unicorn Variation by Roger Zelazny (1982) -- single actually good story in this entire collection. What is it doing here?
Yes Sir, That’s My by Daniel P. Dern (1978) -- actually classy mpreg story.
Please Stand By by Ron Goulart (1961) -- dnf
Bottle Party by John Collier (1939) -- Man conjourns up sex parners via giny, eventually tricked and punished in an implied gangbang.
My Mother Was a Witch by William Tenn (1966) -- clever and fun.
Djinn, No Chaser by Harlan Ellison (1982) -- getting the geene out of the bottle
Up the Wall by Esther M. Friesner (1990) -- dnf, has dragon minor character. and romans. and king author.
Trouble with Water by Horace L. Gold (1939) -- dnf
Savage Breasts by Nina Kiriki Hoffman (1988) -- breasts grow, become aggressive
Or the Grasses Grow by Avram Davidson (1958) -- Swindled native amerians abide by teh letter of the contract.
Snulbug by Anthony Boucher (1941) -- dnf

[Krista · Rating 1 out of 5]

I remember reading this as a teenager and being disappointed. I thought I'd given the book away long ago, but recently found it in a box. I flipped through the stories to see if they were as bad as I remembered, and yeah, they are. There's a lot of heavily forced Jewish "humor" that relies on racial and sexist stereotypes, and just simply isn't funny or clever. There aren't many actual dragons or elves, but several immature revenge fantasies, a good deal of misogyny and shrewish women, and the token "feminist" story that's apparently supposed to balance those out. (But is actually pretty offensive to me as a woman, because it literally reduces a woman's power solely to her breasts.) Most of the authors and characters are also heavy-handed with the Jewish stereotypes, which distracts from the few decent stories. But I didn't find any of these stories FUNNY, despite this being marketed as a humor collection. It's lame at best and offensive at worst. Go ahead and pass this one up.

[Katherine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nice little collection of fantasy short stories which lean towards comedy. I think in particular I liked the Roger Zelazny one, and there's another one called "Savage Breasts" that made me giggle. There are a couple of so-so stories, and that brings it down somewhat.

[Bruno Silva · Rating 3 out of 5]

Algumas histórias são engraçadas, algumas não entretêm nada e uma é hilariante (a do homem que tinha sido amaldiçoado para se transformar num animal volumoso em alturas festivas). Podia ter sido uma compilação bem mais forte e impactante do que acabou por ser. Um entretenimento agradável.

[Beverly · Rating 3 out of 5]

The only story that really had me laughing out loud was "Savage Breasts" in which a flat-chested young lady ordered a chest enhancer, and boy did she get enhanced! Her breasts started punching out her lovers. I chuckled some at some of the other stories, but this was the stand out story for me.

[Kelsey · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best book of short stories I have read.

[Christine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Why should you read this collection?

Two words:

Attack breasts!


Yes, those type of breasts.

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a hilarious collection of fantasy stories, somewhat dated but most all are just fantastic.

[Chandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

Like any short story collection, it's hit and miss. Some are very good, some are dreadfully dull.

[Jenniffer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fantasy stories by such authors as Robert Silverberg, Marvin Kaye, Mike Resnick, etc. Despite the title, don't expect Dragon stories, let alone ones about Elves. Cute none the less!

[Nanci · Rating 4 out of 5]

A marvelous and vastly entertaining collection of tales by numerous talented writers. Highly recommended for any lovers of fantasy stories.

[Judith · Rating 2 out of 5]

While the premise of each story was interesting, I thought the details rather dated.