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481 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2011
The Elizabeth he had seen last evening was a stranger to him, a spoiled child with her screeching and outrage. He stared at the closed door and sighed. What could he do? God alone knew how much he missed his beloved angel and closest friend, and that after only one night apart. Why, he missed her so much that he wanted to strangle her.This book is meant to be fanfiction of the beloved Pride and Prejudice. I can only imagine that the author read an annotated version of the original, possibly a book report of it, written by Kim Kardashian during her high school years. It bears no resemblance to the original. It is the most atrocious Pride and Prejudice fanfiction I have ever read, and mind you, my love for the tale is such that my standards for P&P fanfiction is exceedingly low.
Well, it’s obvious that she has lost her mind. Darcy prided himself as always on his calm, his reasoning capabilities. I am married to a madwoman.
Lizzy said she sometimes found herself dreaming of them together, or of her strangling and disemboweling the meddlesome redheaded witch, slicing open her throat or gouging out her eyes.Darcy has been reduced to nothing more than a drunken, debauched frat boy in his youth, as opposed to the responsible, loving, irreproachable man with whom we all fell in love.
“Once. Well, twice actually, but both on the same night. The first time, I believe I fell asleep on her. Well, not exactly on her…” The lethal hairbrush was quickly on the rise again.And the honorable Fitzwilliam, his cousin, became someone unrecognizably distasteful.
...the women had been used as dinner plates. He vaguely remembered a drunken moment in which he was eating fried eggs and kippers right from within a naked woman’s…The irrepressible, haughty, arrogant Lady Catherine is now a misunderstood, cuddly old gramma. The excruciatingly shy Georgiana now someone who makes completely inappropriate references in public.
“Yes, Cousin,” beamed a mischievous Georgiana. “There were some very outrageous incidents hinted at in the papers. One in particular I always wondered about—did your officers really smuggle in ten opera dancers disguised as French prisoners?”Indeed, everyone is completely unrecognizable as their original character...except for the few, like Lydia, who had already been bitches to start with.