4★
“That’s what’s so stupid about the whole magic thing, you know. You spend twenty years learning the spell that makes nude virgins appear in your bedroom, and then you’re so poisoned by quicksilver fumes and half-blind from reading old grimoires that you can’t remember what comes next.”
Poor Rincewind. Incidentally, his name rhymes with “since grinned”, and I’ve read that in a later book, it says an ancestor was a Rinser of Winds. Whatever his background, he’s missing some skills. He’s a wizard who never finished his training, so while he has some magical talents, he’s certainly no master.
I read a Disc World book or two years ago and loved them. I’ve been reading other things at the moment, so I found myself a bit impatient this time. It is world-building on a mammoth scale, with whole universes and theories of evolution and religion. It is great fun for someone who wants to get immersed in another world.
The setting is the disc which rides horizontally on the backs of four enormous elephants who stand on an even more enormous turtle, which is explained in the beginning of the prologue.
“In a distant and second-hand set of dimensions, in an astral plane that was never meant to fly, the curling star-mists waver and part . . .
See . . .
Great A’Tuin the Turtle comes, swimming slowly through the interstellar gulf, hydrogen frost on his ponderous limbs, his huge and ancient shell pocked with meteor craters. Through sea-sized eyes that are crusted with rheum and asteroid dust He stares fixedly at the Destination.”
I’m sure the Flat Earth Society would probably approve of Disc World, as it has directions of hubward and rimward, “garlanded by the long waterfall at its vast circumference and domed by the baby-blue vault of Heaven.”
Pratchett describes various places as we go through the story, so we have a pretty fair idea of what the characters are up against, what with wolves in the woods, villains in the inns and such.
The basic story revolves around Rincewind (the unfinished wizard) and a tourist named Twoflower, who arrives in Ankh-Morpork, the oldest city in the world, which has no concept of tourism. He has a peculiar phrase book and tries to make himself understood. Finally, he and Rincewind find a common tongue and thus begin their travels.
It’s fun and crazy, as you’d expect, and there are certainly rules and limitations, which is the kind of thing that I love when I’m in the mood for it. There is the Luggage, a large sort of sea chest which follows Twoflower around – on many tiny little legs! It opens and closes – killing hapless thieves and snapping at others. It seems to be full of gold, among other things, which makes for more fun, since Twoflower has no understanding of currency exchange rates and splashes his gold about temptingly.
He wants to observe real life, a barroom brawl, if you could arrange it, please, and if people get hurt or killed, well that's reality for the place, isn't it?
The setting is more or less medieval, as so many fantasies seem to be, with inns and horses and beggars and swordfights, damsels and dragons.
“‘Attention, please,’ said Lio!rt. A dragonrider handed him a long shape, wrapped in red silk.
‘We fight to the death,’ he said. ‘Yours.’
‘And I suppose I earn my freedom if I win?’ said Rincewind, without much hope.
Lio!rt indicated the assembled dragonriders with a tilt of his head.
‘Don’t be naïve,’ he said.
Rincewind took a deep breath. ‘I suppose I should warn you,’ he said, his voice hardly quavering at all, ‘that this is a MAGIC sword.’
Lio!rt let the red silk wrapping drop away into the gloom and flourished a jet-black blade. Runes glowed on its surface.
‘What a coincidence,’ he said, and lunged.”
You get the idea. My favourite character has always been Death, who speaks in capital letters with no quotation marks, He hates being foiled when the "system" fails. He had an appointment with Rincewind, or so he said, at a particular place and time and Rincewind obviously wouldn’t be there. Death offers to help him get there in time.
“I COULD LEND YOU A VERY FAST HORSE.
‘No!’
IT WON’T HURT A BIT.
‘No!’ Rincewind turned and ran. Death watched him go, and shrugged bitterly.
‘SOD YOU, THEN, Death said. He turned, and noticed the fish salesman. With a snarl, Death reached out a bony finger and stopped the man’s heart, but He didn’t take much pride in it.”
And later, Death extracts one-ninth of a cat’s life. Much later, a demon disguised as Death, lets slip that reincarnation can be an improvement. Reincarnation! Woohoo!
I understand the Disc World stories don’t have to be read in order. Indeed, I think the first I read was Mort, and I got the hang of it quickly. There are dozens of others as well as countless books for readers of different ages. I'm sure this would have been a 5-star read for me back in 1983, and I plan to read some more.
Sir Terry certainly earned his knighthood, and both worlds are the poorer for his leaving them in 2013. But by golly, what a legacy!