I Love the Bones of You: My Father And The Making Of Me

by Christopher Eccleston

‘A beautiful book’ Zoë Ball ‘My father was an “ordinary man”, which of course means he was extraordinary.' Be it as Nicky Hutchinson in Our Friends In The North, Maurice in The A Word, or his reinvention of Doctor Who, One man, in life and death, has accompanied Christopher Eccleston every step of the way – his father, Ronnie. In I Love the Bones of You, Eccleston unveils a vivid portrait of a relationship that has shaped his entire career trajectory – mirroring and defining his own highs and lows, from stage and screen triumph to breakdown, anorexia and self-doubt. Eccleston describes how the tightening grip of  dementia on his father slowly blinded him to his son’s existence, forcing a new and final chapter in their connection. Told with trademark honesty and openness, I Love the Bones of You is a celebration of those on whom the spotlight so rarely shines, as told by a man who found his voice in its glare. A love letter to one man, and a paean to many.

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography, Audiobook, Memoir, Autobiography, Doctor Who, Mental Health

343 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 19, 2019

Reviews

[Ken · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautifully honest and raw account that delves into a part of Eccleston’s life I wasn’t aware of before, this book explores not only his acting life but the relationship between him and he’s father.

Admittedly I wanted to read this due to he’s brilliant portrayal as The Doctor, but I was soon reminded of some of his other great roles including Shallow Grave and Hillsborough.

But it’s the parts where Eccleston talks about his own metal health and eating disorders throughout his career whilst also seeing his father suffering with dementia makes this a tough but important read.

I’m glad that Eccleston is comfortable in being able to talk about these subjects, the theme of his father and the different attitudes to male emotions throughout the decades is an important one.
The fact that these types of issues are being discussed more openly now is such a positive step forward.

This has made me appreciate Eccleston even more, I’ve always been a fan of The Ninth Doctor - but he truly was ‘Fantastic’!

[Mel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wasn't going to read this but Chris was doing a talk and a signing at the National Theatre so I got a copy. It was very interesting and I'm glad I read it. At the talk he mentioned he had a ghost writer which I found very off putting at first. It was all written first person and I wanted to know which bits were actually Chris and which were the writer filling in. I saw it as a transcription of an oral history and I would rather have had it as the raw oral history than the polished for consumers version. But I don't think that would have sold as well. Also for SUCH a personal story to have it that way just rang a bit false.
That said it is DEFINITELY worth reading and utterly wonderful! I cried quite a bit! It was a lot more autobiography than I had expected. I thought it was just about dealing with his Dad's dementia. I found the growing up stuff less interesting, there was a lot of watching tele. But the parts when he was talking about being an adult it was fascinating. The chapters dealing with his anorexia and depression were so honest and open. Likewise talking about masculinity and the politics of what that means to be a working class man were fascinating and quite sad. Reading it you realise how much we all have in common. The parts dealing with his Dad's dementia I recommend to everyone whose got a parent or a loved one going through that. While it wasn't blatant within his own narrative there was a definite theme of how Chris had grown through the illness and through having children, from having his world be about him, to doing what he could to take care of the people around him. The shift I think is how this book came to be as he went from thinking about himself to thinking how these experiences could help others. As the issues are discussed not in an egotistical way but as a way to connect to people who are going through the same thing. Or know someone going through the same thing. For that is brilliant.
I have always admired Chris as an actor but now I admire him as a person as well. He stands up for what he thinks is right. One question I was left with was why his left wing Labour voting father started reading the daily mail. I think that is the key to understanding how things like Brexit have happened. What was the shift there?
But I highly recommend this book. Even though I already have a signed copy the next time he does a convention I'm going to get an autograph from him. Just so I can thank him again for this.

[Dawn F · Rating 5 out of 5]

A blunt, selflessly reflective insight to Chris Eccleston’s inner life and turmoil. From childhood memories from a working class home dealing with a dad brought up not knowing how to express warmth and feelings, to the later onset of dementia which robbed his dad of his personality, this memoir is very much a loving tribute to his dad, but it is also an exploration of masculinity and what that means in terms of being male and sensitive, it is a critique of a classist society which actively holds people down, and an honest account of Chris’ battle with body dysmorphia and severe depression. These were the really striking moments and I cried more than once. It’s hard hearing how society enforces a stereotype onto you and breaking out of it, if you can, is painful and requires a lot of internal reflection. Chris is an avid advocate against prejudice and inequality and when he meets it in his line of work, an industry full of egos and rules you’re meant to follow, he will speak his mind. He’s eloquent and extremely aware, and I’m very grateful to be let into his life this way, to see a man be brave enough to admit to his own hubris and shortcomings, to see his parents in an objective light as individuals formed by their upbringing, and actively work not to repeat old patterns with his own children. He deserves all the support in the world.

[Emma · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great testament to Chris Eccleston’s life with huge credit to his Father. This book is a very interesting read and he writes with such honesty and love for his family, it’s beautiful. I very much enjoyed it and felt like we got to see the real Chris. He’s incredibly honest about his own shortcomings and very open about his own battles with anorexia and mental illness. He comes across as honest and direct with principles that he just won’t budge on. I found that very refreshing in today’s world of celebrity. A great read. I’d buy him a pint/cuppa tea!

[Anthony Fitzsimons · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic

[Maddie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really like Christopher Eccleston. There's certain intensity to his acting. The quiet strength, the undercurrent of emotion and so much passion. And having listened to his memoir I can now understand it so much better.
The honesty, raw emotion are so prevalent in I Love The Bones Of You, the love for his family, his parents, his father especially, shine so bright. There's the humility of his humble upbringing, the understanding of the barriers that needed to be broken to get Eccleston to where he is, the honesty in talking about his mental health battles, eating disorder. Eccleston doesn't shy away from difficult subjects. He wants the conversations to happen. So much respect to him for that.
I Love The Bones Of You is a deeply moving and beautiful read and I really enjoyed it.

[Derek · Rating 5 out of 5]

I initially bought this because I liked Christopher Eccleston's work, and I thought he might have an interesting anecdote or two. I was not prepared for this book. I read the description and thought, "I didn't know he had anorexia." This book is so much more than that, although it's a compelling part of his story, to be certain.

The first chapters detailing his father's life growing up were good, but not amazing, and I wasn't sure how much of the rest of the book I might need to skim while reading it. Then he got into his personal issues: anorexia, body dysmorphia, depression, self-image issues, trouble finding work, struggling to come to terms with his relationship with his father... I was in.

I know I'm probably projecting, but this book felt deeply personal to me in a way very few have. I don't know what it's like growing up in Britain, or being an actor, but I do know what it's like feeling like you don't fit in as a kid, and how that shapes the rest of your life. I know what it's like to hate your body, often for no good reason. I know what it's like being depressed to the point of suicidal ideation. And I know what it's like trying to untwist the things you know are wrong about your life and your perspective on it.

I don't think I can overemphasize just how hard parts of this book hit me - there were times when I had to stop reading because I felt that it was too close to home, and there were several parts where I teared up, because I recognized too well the feelings that I was reading about.

I highly recommend this book, but i will admit my biases; it might not be for everybody but it was definitely for me, and there are parts of it that will stay with me for a long time.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honest, raw and emotional. Christopher Eccleston unfiltered and unafraid to adress tough topics

[Sara Habein · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very much enjoyed this open-eyed memoir in which Christopher Eccleston looks at why he is how he is, his relationship with his parents (a relationship both loving and formative, but at times combative), and also his career. It's very much about how mental health intertwines with our careers and relationships, but there are some actor-y tidbits as well — both craft and behind-the-scenes. He doesn't get into many of the specifics, but he is quick to point out that when he doesn't like someone while working with them, he can still praise their work. He is laying out a case for why he might have a reputation for being "prickly" as it relates to his sense of justice, but he also acknowledges the times he hadn't the emotional health to know the right thing to do, while still affording a degree of privacy for the people involved.

On a side note, it's good to find out that an actor whose work I enjoy seems like a decent guy.

[Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

So good. I really appreciated Christopher Eccleston's raw candor about his mental health and struggles with anorexia. I also enjoyed all he shared about his relationship with his father, and how that has shaped him. There are some really cute moments involving conversations with his children, which is just adorable. Overall, a very powerful memoir.

[ShamNoop · Rating 5 out of 5]

This hit hard.

[Clare Parker · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a brilliant, emotional, honest, from the heart and genuine account of Christopher Ecclestone’s life and his relationship with his dad. Many bits of the book totally resonated and were very moving. Loved reading this book even though the tears flowed at various points throughout!

[readingwithlibby · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is such a wonderfully raw and honest account of his own life, from childhood memories, to his various acting roles, his struggles with depression and anorexia and how all this and more have been shaped by his relationship with his father and being from a working class background. I listened to this as an audiobook and it was such a lovely and interesting insight into his life. I really enjoyed reading this!!

[good chicken · Rating 5 out of 5]

in some ways my review for this book is very personal, and says more about my relationship with my class and my dad than anything else. but dont let that fool you; whilst being both deeply personal and highly relatable for me, this book is also brilliant.
initially i picked it up because i was on a binge rewatch of doctor who, and have always been fascinated with christopher eccleston as an actor i have hardly seen in anything else BUT who. i saw heroes and fortitude, both of which he's sparingly in, and comparatively as the doctor he has almost no screen time also.
i didnt know much about christopher eccleston prior to listening to the audiobook aside from the fact he considered doctor who "just another job" and that he didnt have the personal love and connection that later doctors, like tennant and capaldi, have with the show. that being said, i dived in and got ready to listen to ecclestons dulcet northern accent for 12 hours.
and man, was it a good 12 hours... (admittedly drawn over about 2 weeks from walking to work)
this book is very much about a few choice topics, namely: being a working class northerner, having an unspoken relationship with your father, being a working class actor, dealing with one's own mental health issues, and the death and dementia of a parent.
in some ways i dont really relate to any of these topics; i am working class but i am from the south, close to london with many more opportunities than northern kids. i'm not an actor, nor will i ever be one, my own struggles with mental health are not akin to eccleston's suicidal tendancies and eating disorders, and neither of my parents are dead nor do they have dementia. and yet the way eccleston writes about this topics, so simply, workman-like almost, is so easily digestible. his description is honest and not flowery. he is never at any point describing a room, but describing how he felt in the room with the people in it. im reminded of limmy's biography, which was a much more visual retelling of his life. i could imagine his grimy flat and the streets of glasgow. but there's less of that in eccleston because thats not the point.
i dont want to talk about the way eccleston writes too much either, because in some ways thats also not the point. i do think it could have done with a slightly better editing job, something other reviewers have said, and there were points of the audiobook narration where i swear i heard Eccleston himself slur over words, but for the most part this book got me captured in what it was exploring. this is the best book to capture that unspoken love that goes between an emotionally repressed working man and his family. eccleston understands what it means to be on the receiving end of the anger of a working man, and how while it is certainly not right, the anger is real. eccleston doesnt fetishize being working class either; he recognises that working class life isnt "better" bc we are underprivileged, but that while many are uneducated they are just as if not more intelligent than many middle class folks. his sense of justice for the underdog is so real and aware.
in some ways my review of this book is lacking because i'm just listing the things i loved about it. its not art in a book, (even though in a way all books are art) but it is totally selfaware and actualised. this is not a pretentious book, but it is simple, powerful and emotional. and, for me at least, it was very real.

listened: cold and dark bus stop marketplace in heanor. the smell of dominos pizza is overwhelming and i am hungry. but its very cold and i have no money

[Aly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Christopher Eccleston’s memoir is a force to be reckoned with. It is a painful yet touching account of many things: masculinity, anorexia, dementia, and the relationship between fathers and sons. Eccleston’s work is accessible and honest, which is what makes it such a heartfelt read.

[Harry Wright · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a "what do you mean I can't give it 6 stars" moment.

I Love The Bones of You tells the story of Christopher Eccleston through the prism of his father. In theory, especially with the book being an autobiography, you'd think that would get us to understand the kind of man Eccleston is.

And it does, while also sneakily getting you to understand his dad. So by the time we arrive at the end of the book, I found myself sobbing real tears for both men as their stories come to close.

To us it's a story, dealing with body dysmorphia, mental health, masculinity, and the turbulent career of an actor. Every word is well placed and every chapter full of legitimate insight. To him it's real, and Eccleston does an incredible job getting you to feel the reality with him.

11/5 would sob again.

[Helen]

idk who i was kidding with this, i cannot do audiobooks!! it's NINE HOURS LONG. NINE. even on 1.25 speed it only cuts down to about eight. sorry, brain says nah.

maybe i'll give this one another shot if i can pick it up in non-audio form bc i was enjoying it, when i could actually make myself focus on it, but i simply cannot bring myself to spend nine hours on one book...

[Karu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Te amo, Chris. Ese es el nivel de objetividad de esta pequeña review.

[Nicholas Whyte · Rating 5 out of 5]

https://nwhyte.livejournal.com/3323033.html

This was the last book I finished in 2019, and the best of the Doctor Who biographies and autobiographies that I read last year (the others were by or about John Leeson, Mary Tamm (v1, v2), Robert Holmes, Matthew Waterhouse, Peter Davison and Andrew Cartmel). There's actually not all that much in it about Eccleston's performance as the Ninth Doctor. He devotes a short chapter to it, praising Russell T. Davies, Steven Moffatt, Euros Lyn and Billie Piper, and I guess letting his silence speak for the rest. He bookends that chapter with the experience of watching his own stories with his own young children, fifteen years on, which I found a very effective device to tell what the show now means to him. I'm looking forward to seeing him at Gallfrey One next month.

The guts of the book are about Eccleston's own somewhat tortured soul, and its roots in the life experience of his father, a factory worker whose talents were suffocated by the class-ridden social structures of mid-twentieth century Salford. He goes into moving detail about his own experiences of mental illness and particularly anorexia; it's tough but fascinating to read. He is disarmingly frank about his own failures and successes as an actor; always of course in the context of a profession which is rigged in favour of thin people with posh accents - he forced himself to become thin but could never be posh. Another moving passage describes his relationship with Trevor Hicks, who he portrayed in Hillsborough; the two became friends to the point that Eccleston was Hicks' best man at his wedding. But the most gut-wrenching sections are the passages about his father's gradual descent into dementia, and the consequent slow death of normal family life. The timing of the various incidents is a bit confusing - few dates are given, and we jump around quite a lot in the thirty years of his career; but reading between the lines it looks like his father's sharpest decline coincided with the 2004-05 filming of Doctor Who.

This is not a fluffy book, but it's a very thoughtful one, angry in places and always passionate.

[Gareth · Rating 4 out of 5]

An unconventional autobiography, being as much about Eccleston’s relationship with his father as it is his own life. He’s generally known as a private man and in many ways the book doesn’t betray that, leaving chunks of his story untold - most of his relationship with his wife, for instance. (An autobiography isn’t obligated to say EVERYTHING, I was just surprised to skip that.) In case you’re here for the reasons behind his Doctor Who departure, that’s just more veiled hints, much the same as he’s said in public. He does seem proud to have done it, at least.

A great deal of it is eye-openingly personal, particularly around his breakdown and struggles with mental health. I didn’t know this about him and there’s a chance reading about it will prove helpful to others. Eccleston has plenty to say about mental health and the perils of body image that come with his profession, again all very candid and thought-provoking. It’s not exactly a fun read - he doesn’t seem like a very lighthearted guy, being punishingly downbeat about most of his performances and quick to say the same about subpar productions he’s been in. But it is honest. There’s some very moving writing about his father’s life and dementia, and you can tell how invested he is in all things working class.

It’s a deeply honest book about a talented, troubled, principled, quite stubborn man - or rather, men.

[Louise · Rating 4 out of 5]

Audiobook. Genuinely moving. I like to see working class memoirs, especially when they try to explore the socioeconomic realities that they and their family faced. The discussions of mental health problems and dementia were well done too. I really enjoyed when it went into detail about film sets and his relationships (good and bad) with other actors. I found it to be an interesting insight into the industry.

What stops me from giving this 5 stars is the structure and writing but also the performance. I think one leads into the other here- it was ghostwritten, which I think then led to a sometimes stilted narration from Eccleston because they aren't actually his words. There were some bits towards the end that were actually slurred- those needed another take. It's also very repetitive in places. It becomes obvious where parts of his life are being skirted round, the drama on Doctor Who being one of them. There are obviously some things that he isn't going to get into for the sake of other people's privacy, such as his divorce, but the absence felt like a big hole.

A bit of a restructure and keeping the content to the themes he really wanted to focus on would have made this memoir almost perfect.

[Sammy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having personal experience of losing a loved one to vascular dementia, this one felt pretty close to home. It's awful to watch someone slip away like that, and Eccleston does a good job of portraying it.

I can recommend this book on that score, or on it's frank discussion of mental health, or even as a simple story of "Working class boy done good". You don't need to be a superfan to enjoy this. While I definitely appreciate his skills as an actor (and I think he's way too hard on himself regarding his performance in Jude - I thought he was great!), and while Colin Baker and Sylvester McCoy were probably my first Doctors, Eccleston remains my favourite to this day. Even still, there are a great many other actors I feel similarly about, and as such I wouldn't say I'm a proper fan.
That didn't lessen my appreciation of this book one bit. If fact, I'd go so far as to say you don't even have to have seen him in anything to appreciate the majority of this book (though naturally having a point of reference for films/shows that he mentions is a bonus).

[Howard Moore · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have loved reading this book.
Finding myself with some gift-vouchers to spend and wanting to make the most of them rather than just any old book, I saw this in our local independent bookshop - Booka, who celebrated their 11th birthday yesterday by the way - and decided immediately that this was for me.
I must confess to not knowing much about his previous work, but loving his portrayal of Maurice in 'The A Word,' I have been fascinated from beginning to end, to follow his life story so far.
Great book with lots of honest and sometimes sad and challenging stories about the struggles of a man and his coming to terms with life as it is and the changing of his 'glass half full' outlook to life. And throughout the book, the love of his parents for each other and for their children, and the impact this has had on his life.
Currently enjoying one of his other TV works - Our Friends in the North.

[Lauryn · Rating 5 out of 5]

what a brilliant memoir.

usually I stay away from celebrity memoirs but this one was so clearly uninterested in being a glamourised run-through of his career that I felt it was worth trying.

what a thoughtful and insightful take on his life, linking his relationship with his dad and his mental health issues brilliantly with how these things impact his career. he's also got some great points to make about being working class and the intellect you find in working class communities, even if middle/upper class people think we're all common idiots. I'm so glad I read this.

I found out after reading that this was ghostwritten, which at first made me apprehensive about giving it a good review but honestly, I enjoyed it so why shouldn't it get a 5 star review! From what I can find from interviews, it was written verbatim from Christopher eccleston's meetings with the ghostwriter so I don't doubt this is still an authentic piece of nonfiction.

[Sophie Crane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Initially I was drawn to this book as he is one of my favourite Doctors (as I suspect many other people were). And ironically like the TARDIS this book, like Christopher himself, is so much bigger on the inside! A very moving portrayal of his relationship, mainly in context to his father, and his father's subsequent descent into dementia . Also his battle with mental health issues, which in particular resonated strongly with myself, and feel that anyone suffering depression or living with suicidal thoughts should strongly consider picking this up and giving it a read. It certainly gave me pause for thought and reconsidered certain aspects of my own mental health I hadn't fully explored before. A deeply moving and absorbing work. Highly recommended.

[Katie Brock · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to this book via audio- it’s the first time I’ve listened to a non-fiction book via audio and I really liked hearing the story from the author himself.

Christopher Eccleston is someone who suffered from anorexia. I had no idea, as I’m a survivor of anorexia myself it was great to not only hear someone else’s story but also from a male sufferer

I’m a fan of Eccleston because of Doctor Who, so that was the chapter I felt would draw me in- however, the whole book was great.

His father had a huge impact on where he is now and you can hear that in how he talks about him.

I really enjoyed this book, especially in audio format. It was a good in depth look into the life of an actor I admire.

5/5 stars!

[Lori Tart · Rating 4 out of 5]

Christopher Eccleston first hit my radar as the Ninth Doctor in 2005; he's definitely My Doctor. However, I loved his work so much that I have watched and loved several of the series and movies he's done since then; so you can imagine how excited I was to hear that he'd written this book. It's a true love song to his family, especially to his father who he lost to complications of dementia. It's also a guide through his mental illness and years of anorexia. I felt like we were in the pub having a pint just discussing his life.

[Ellie Cripps · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is quite the autobiography. Christopher Eccleston is open with his life and the troubles he has experienced in a way I don't think I've ever encountered before, in person or in a work of literature. His complete comfort with talking about mental health and his father's deterioration should be hugely admired and emulated. I came in with an open curiosity and I'm finishing this book feeling better educated and hugely more understanding. Thanks.

[SarahRobins_reads]

Not really sure what to say about this. I’m not a huge fan and I think maybe if you are you would like this better. It’s been informative and I was very sad to read about his struggles with mental health and anorexia.
For me though I found it very wordy and quite intense and I kept losing focus! Sure some people would find it really interesting though. I actually left the last 50 pages 🙈

[Emily Dunthorne · Rating 1 out of 5]

Mind numbingly boring and repetitive.