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114 pages, Hardcover
First published September 17, 2015
She won’t ever use (make-up, turmeric, hairbrush, thesaurus). She won’t ever finish (Patricia Highsmith novel, peanut butter, lip balm).There were flashes of insight and recognition. The silent witnesses of what once was a life, flying shrapnels in the house. The piercing pain a little note can provoke. The gentle instigation of good friends to pick up life again. The sudden single-parenting issues. “Moving on, as a concept, is for stupid people, because any sensible person knows grief is a long-term project. I refuse to rush. The pain that is thrust upon us let no man slow or speed or fix.” True. But also a truism.
Up they went, the sense of a cloud, the failure of clouds, scientifically quick and visually hopeless, a murder of little burnt birds flecked against the grey sky, the grey sea, the white sun, and gone.Alternatingly listening to the voices of the father, the boys and Crow, the irking voice of Crow irritated me at first. Having read the novella a second time now, the wordplay and onomatopoeia keep striking me as rather childish and hollow – dissonant cawing, futile twaddle. In the Dutch translation I read, the ostensible poetry in his lines resembles what we call in Dutch ‘karamellenverzen’(toffee verses). Namedropping poets or writing about poetry does not turn a tale into a prose poem in itself.
’I missed her so much that I wanted to build a
hundred-foot memorial to her with my bare hands. I
wanted to see her sitting in a vast stone chair in Hyde
Park, enjoying her view. Everybody passing could
comprehend how much I miss her. How physical
my missing is. I miss her so much it is a vast golden
prince, a concert hall, a thousand trees, a lake, nine
thousand buses, a million cars, twenty million birds
and more. The whole city is my missing her.’
’ Moving on, as a concept, is for stupid people, because any sensible person knows grief is a long-term project. I refuse to rush. The pain that is thrust upon us let no man slow or speed or fix.’
"I missed her so much that I wanted to build a hundred-foot memorial to her with my bare hands. I wanted to see her sitting in a vast stone chair in Hyde Park, enjoying her view. Everybody passing could comprehend how much I miss her. How physical my missing is. I miss her so much it is a vast golden prince, a concert hall, a thousand trees, a lake, nine thousand buses, a million cars, twenty million birds and more. The whole city is my missing her."
"They offer me a space on the sofa next to them and the pain of them being so naturally kind is like appendicitis. I need to double over and hold myself because they are so kind and keep regenerating and recharging their kindness without any input from me."
Eugh, said Crow, you sound like a fridge magnet.”
here's a little secret. I've never even read [Crow]. I don't like [Ted] Hughes and I don't like poetry