All or Nothing: One Chef's Appetite for the Extreme – A Raw Memoir of Heroin Addiction and Haute Cuisine Triumph

by Jesse Schenker

Blending Kitchen Confidential, Blood, Bones & Butter, and Breaking Bad, a culinary memoir that illuminates the highs and lows of addiction, anxiety, and ambition in the world of haute cuisine.

 Thirty-one-year-old Jesse Schenker has rocketed to the top of the culinary world. An Iron Chef winner and James Beard nominee, he was voted Best New Chef by New York Magazine, and his acclaimed Recette was named Best New Restaurant by the New York Times. But Jesse’s epic rise masks a little-known past filled with demons and obsession, genius and mania.

Growing up in wealthy suburban Florida, Jesse was introduced to the culinary world—and the world of hard drugs. Becoming a high-school dropout addicted to heroin and crack, he was alienated from his family and wanted by the cops. By twenty-one, he had robbed, cheated, and lied to everyone in his life—and had overdosed, been shot at and nearly beaten to death. His eventual arrest motivated him to get clean.

Jesse learned to channel his obsessiveness and need to get ever “higher” into his career. But his growing success fueled his anxiety, leading to panic attacks and hypochondria. In this startling and down to earth memoir, Jesse lays it all on the table for the first time, reflecting on his insatiable appetite for the extreme—which has led to his biggest triumphs and failures—and shares the shocking story of his turbulent life.

Genres: Nonfiction, Food, Memoir, Cooking, Biography, Culinary

272 pages, Paperback

First published September 30, 2014

Reviews

[Christopher · Rating 3 out of 5]

Note: I received a free copy of this book through Goodreads First Reads.

When Jesse Schenker is talking about food, this book works. Whether he's discussing a stoner inspired peanut butter and jelly sandwich or the opening of The Gander, there's an obvious passion that comes through the text. If he ever writes a cookbook, I'll be one of the first to buy it.

However, there are some issues with this book. It's a riches to rags to riches story that never quite takes off. Around page 150, I found my mind wandering. Wait. You mean to tell me you took drugs again? And then had sex again? And then took drugs again? And it's still kind of your parents's fault, but not really? Sure, what he's writing about is a horrific situation and it is inspiring that he could make a supreme comeback as a talented chef. But there is no urgency. Scenarios are set up and glossed over, rising and falling to the beat of, "And then this happened, and then this happened, and then this happened, and so on."

Still, for a book so frantic and uneven, it's still wildly entertaining to read about Schenker's climb through each kitchen system. The bit about being a prison cook is particularly interesting, and made me want pork shoulder. Again, I'd be happy if Schenker wrote a cookbook. Though I somewhat doubt he was as golden to every kitchen he touched (and he does like to tout that achievement), it's hard not to understand Schenker's talent. Unfortunately, while his driving personality is present in sections, this book isn't the knockout dish I want it to be.

[Kelly Dinicolo · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good book that tells the author's journey of a fall into life on the street as an addict to his rise as a chef in NYC. Interesting insight into how he did this without formally going to cooking school but through experience in various restaurants

[Camille · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm trying to subcategorize this book and the best I have is that it's a "complete memoir". It is one of those rare books that make you wonder its point until you reach the end and review everything you've in retrospect. The first half of the book doesn't make complete sense without the second half and vice-versa.

Another great thing about this memoir is that it doesn't lose focus like so many other memoirs I've read. This book is not a collection of essays and stories - it is a memoir.

Plus, how awesome is it that he spoke of Allison 18 at the end of the book and I've eaten and drank there?

Why the three stars? The writing style could have been more refined, but remember that Jesse is a chef not the headmaster of the literati.

Thanks again to Wolfie for an awesome birthday present!

[Kaylie Longley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Author Schenker is an Iron Chef champion, James Beard winner, and recovering addict. He's unabashed with details, on homelessness, scoring through stealing and debauchery, and shenanigans in jail. Unlike Orange Is the New Black, this rich white kid knows he's privileged, so his humility helps the memoir progress. It's a miracle, but I wish he would have explored the culinary world more, only describing the food and not the people, with just a few pages on Gordon Ramsey. Perhaps he only used a couple big names to show his story isn't over yet. Everyone loves a good comeback story, and though this one's a little repetitive on drug abuse, it delivers, drawing parallels between obsessions with work, substance, and food. He used a spoon for cooking drugs and dishes. The best pages show his passion for creating something from nothing, and that's something many can relate to.

[Robert · Rating 2 out of 5]

Following in the footsteps of Anthony Bourdain is no easy feet, and Schenker suffers in the comparison. The first 2/3's of the book is a junkie memoir and only the final 1/3 is kitchen lit,for a book that is advertized and promoted as a Chef's story, those proportions probably should have been flipped.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this book would draw my interest (it did, and I blew through the book), but I finished just feeling really sour on the author and his story. It's sort of far-fetched and hard to believe that everything he says happened, actually did, and how he was able to get where he is today.

[Lily · Rating 4 out of 5]

Less, cooking than I was expected. BUT, still such an interesting journey.

This book is great, and Jesse Scheneker is very transparent with his own faults and experiences. And, BOY, they were ROUGH. TW: drug use, violence, and I think suggested SA? I'm pretty sure it was nearly SA.

Overall, this man was obviously a culinarily talented child. Albeit he seemed to be jumping of the walls since he was a toddler. He should've had no hardships. His parents seemed well off, his family was well connected, taking trips, and even starting culinary classes very early in his life.

But none of that matters with addiction. I think it's important to note that his addictive habits may have been biological(?). He mentions his father having an alcohol issue in the beginning, but never really elaborates. ( I think that was the only issue with the book. Some parts needed elaborations. It really felt like a single person world at times. ) While many can brush with MJ without completely spiraling, it's like his body needed too. Add some enabling habits from the parents and ignored warnings from the therapists, you'll get somebody destined to hit rock-bottom.

The book isn't artistic in it's language (besides the descriptions of food, really good food), but it was honest. It show's how devastating addiction can be, and how it could inhibit even a culinary genius.

Also this dude was on Iron Chef America ???? and worked for Ramsey . Cooking competitions are my guilty pleasure. This is a great book for anyone who binges the food channel for fun.

[B · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am surprised to see so many average or less-than favorable reviews for this book. I found it to be very well-written and engaging. He has clearly been through a lot, and I know some of the story could have been embellished for the sake of story, but it is clear that this is no where near 'A Million Little Pieces' levels of inaccuracy, and I found it to be believable, since I have heard similar tales of drug addiction in the past. It was cleverly formatted, with each chapter being based off of a cooking style. I'm not a chef but I found that to be a really cute touch. I thoroughly enjoyed this read, and really liked hearing his story.

[Zimbellina · Rating 4 out of 5]

One man’s journey through addiction to success.

This was a brutal look at what addiction can do and the problems with getting and staying clean. I liked that the author made no excuses for his behaviour, just laid it all out honestly. His years as an addict were awful and he treated people shamefully but he came out the other side and got clean and dealt with his issues to become a crazy successful chef.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jesse Schenker became an addict early, and even his passion and talent for the culinary arts weren't enough to keep him from hitting bottom. His return to the kitchen helped him climb out of the valley of addiction and reclaim his family. While his laser focus on his culinary career earned him numerous accolades, it almost cost him his new life when the success became his newest drug.

[Natacha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Don’t come at this thinking it’s going to be a literary masterpiece. It’s about a chefs struggles through life and how he took his bad and turned it into good. It’s from his perspective, the way he thinks, talks and does. It’s a very interesting read and had me hooked from start to finish. I’d highly recommend to anyone who’s looking for a funny, yet heart warming story.

[Carol Ann · Rating 2 out of 5]

I chose to read this because Marcus Samuelsson's blurb was on the cover. It was about addiction, Jesse's having been a drug addict, and then a cooking/food addict. Interesting the paths that addiction take us. Not well-written.

[Dana Gillis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book with a happy ending :)

[Amanda Oakley-Lane · Rating 1 out of 5]

The first half of this book was all about his history with substance abuse and it felt like the turn-around and how he's built his name as a chef and restaurant owner was rushed.

[Linda Smatzny · Rating 3 out of 5]

A very candid look into the life of a chef as he overcomes drug abuse.

[Carol · Rating 4 out of 5]

From drug addict to Iron Chef and Restaurant owner.

[Tessa Walters · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am also surprised this book got some iffy reviews. I thought it was brilliant. I loved every word.

[Chelsie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hard look at a life that changed in exciting ways after focusing on food.

[Cortney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Grabbed me from the first chapter. Self reflection and awareness are always welcome attributes for all to possess. Schenker's insights are refreshing. The fact that he is blazingly aware of struggling with addiction daily; he's just changed his outlet, will hopefully keep him clean in his battle. Love the journey of discovering food through the eyes, or the taste buds, of a chef. Inspires me to rethink turning my cooking experiences into works of art.

[Karlene · Rating 3 out of 5]

This guy has seen some shit. Starting innocently enough as a grade school pot smoker, and transgressing into some full-blown crackhead shit. It's definitely amazing that Jesse Schenker's lifelong love of food helped him recover from the festering bowels of drug addiction, and put him back in the kitchen, but the ending to this book didn't entirely put me at ease.

Jesse finally hits rock-bottom after getting a beat-down from a bunch of crackhead teenagers, embraces the twelve-step program, and finds some sort of balance in his life. And then throws himself back into another addiction of becoming a workaholic. Admittedly not really caring about the birth of his children, and retreating back to the part of his life where he ignores all branches his family and uses his tactics from days as a thieving junkie to sway restaurant business his way. The guy still can't say no, albeit this time to work instead of drugs, but spreads himself freakishly thin, ignoring everything else in his life, and the whole time you're waiting to turn the page on either a.) his "A-ha!" moment, or b.) some sort of mental breakdown from over-exhertion. Neither one happens, instead moments like these that I just found a bit disturbing...

...[My wife and business partner] was on her iPad responding to emails right up until the moment it was time to start pushing, lying in the hospital bed processing payroll and emailing back and forth with our publicist... I had taken my wife and created a monster, but I'd never been prouder of her."

And then something about his new restaurant opening up, and a quick little ditty about life being like the perfect balance of a recipe, each ingredient needing each other, The End.

This book was really interesting, and it's very impressive that someone took their life of addiction on the streets, and turned it onto celebrity chefdom. I definitely can't knock that, it's a very inspirational and gritty story.

But another reason I was not entirely sucked in was that the type of cuisine described in this book is the kind that has always felt snobbish or pretentious to me. No doubt he's very talented, having worked under Gordon Ramsay among other things, but "...a torchon of duck foie gras served with a crystallized apple chip, some celery branch batons, Granny Smith apple marmalade, candied walnuts, frisée, and juniper balsamic vinegar." is an example of food that I just can't ever relate to wanting to make or eat. At no fault of the author's, but the style of haute cuisine in this book is not what appeals to me about life in the kitchen.

Favourite Line: "I had turned into a pickle and would never be a cucumber again."

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jesse Schenker never felt comfortable in his own skin. When he was 12 years old he discovered drugs and quickly felt calm and relaxed like he never had before. By the time he was 17 he was physically addicted to Oxycontin and when that became harder to come by he turned to heroin and crack. By his early 20's he had lied and stolen from every family member and friend he had. Jesse finally began to turn his life around after hitting rock bottom - living on the streets for over two years. When he was arrested Jesse was actually glad because he knew it would be a chance to finally get sober. Before and even during his addiction Jesse loved food and cooking. After he got sober he knew that the kitchen is where he needed to be, but it was also where he had been introduced to harder drugs. Determined to stay sober and succeed in the kitchen Jesse poured all his energy into learning and growing as a chef. After making a name for himself in the New York restaurant scene Jesse knew he had finally made it, but he also realized that he had traded one drug for another - he was a raving workaholic who was running himself into the ground. After opening two successful restaurants and creating a family of his own Jesse still works to create a "middle ground" in his life so that he's not tempted by the extremes of his personality. This is a wild ride into the shadow-world of drug addiction, but also a story of hope as Jesse shows that it's possible to completely turn your life around despite whatever your past might be.

[Dasha · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a powerful read because of everything the author has been through, and the way he emerged on the other side. In some of the 'darkest' chapters, it felt like a written version of "Requiem For A Dream", except real. I found it interesting and it gave me an insight into the world I don't really know (both in the author's experiences on the street, and his progression as a chef). Unfortunately, I think it reads somewhat slow because it has that feel of something written by a person who isn't normally a writer. The author has a very arrogant tone/point of view, at times. Some of the specific descriptions of unusual food items' preparation get lost on me too, as a regular reader, not a chef. In general, most of the volume of this book is spent describing the years of drug abuse, while it is marketed as an autobiographical novel about becoming a world-renowned chef. Still a book worth checking out, especially for entrepreneurs and chefs.

[Brian Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

I spent several nights awake reading this book when I should have been sleeping. Very hard to put down. Schenker's story is captivating, and following his downward spiral is a true exercise in not being able to avert one's eyes from the impending disaster. Overall, an exhilarating read. It lost a star in my book because of how thin it is when it comes to his rise on the culinary scene. I was surprised to be nearing the end of the book and only just getting into his recovery and mending. I guess I was expecting something more like Marcus Samuelsson's Yes Chef (which was an incredibly rewarding read), and it was more like Nikki Sixx's Heroin Diaries (which was also a blast to read). Maybe it just helps to know what you're getting yourself into. This is a detailed account of drugs, debauchery, and the fallout that ensues. Cooking is something of a sideshow.

[Scott · Rating 2 out of 5]

Jesse Schenker plummeted to his nadir and this is that story followed by his rise to culinary greatness. If you want to know about the dark side of addiction, more than half the book is dedicated to it--probably too much. His addiction keeps getting worse and worse. Of course, food and cooking is his redemption. His family was smart enough to cut him off, as painful as it was for them it was the right thing to do. Bravo. The ascension of Schenker to the culinary cutting edge is interesting and another testament to what great chefs are looking for--perfection. And what they are willing to do to achieve it. The writing is so so and you can see where the book is going to take you. That said, it didn't stop me from reading it.

[Don Gorman · Rating 3 out of 5]

What a crazy guy! This is a memoir of a James Beard award winning young chef who somehow turned a teen life of addiction around to become one of the best cooks in the world. The stories of his drug fueled demise, his time in jail, his disconnect from his family and his way of life is unbelievable. And the seeming high energy, no holds barred way he turned it all around is equally nuts. But Jesse is the real deal, I don't know how he survived but I intend to check out one of his places the next time I am in New York. An unusual but very engrossing read.

[Diana · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked All or Nothing. Schenker's story from upper-class kid to drug addict to homeless and then, finding his way out of it and as a restaurateur was a compelling read.

I loved reading about the food, his food vision and how intensely he worked. Next time I visit NYC, I want to visit his restaurants.

[Pam · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book tells the story of the author and his struggles with addiction as a youth and young adult and how cooking helped him overcome his struggles. To have had so much success so quickly in the restaurant business after so much struggles with addiction it truly is an inspiration for others. I received a free copy of the book from Goodreads but my opinions are my own.

[Raquel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read!!! After reading this book I have a new respect for Chefs and the entire cooking industry. I can't wait to do the chef tasting menu at The Gander. I feel like I know Jesse intimately and hope to meet him when I dine there. It was great getting into Jesse's head with his detailed descriptions of his menu ideas, and more.

[Monika · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very hard core memoir. I found it hard to read at times it was so disturbing. I did enjoy it though. Especially parts about food and running a restaurant. Kudos to chef Schenker for this amazing book!

[Alex · Rating 4 out of 5]

A wonderfully delicious book that lives up to its back cover: where America's Next Top Chef meets Breaking Bad. Scheckner's writing is expertly paced, reading at one moment like an addict on speed and at another like a slow-braised meal.