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Fashionably Dead

(Hot Damned #1)

really liked it 4.00  ·  Rating details ·  11,206 ratings  ·  1,286 reviews
Vampyres don’t exist. They absolutely do not exist.

At least I didn’t think they did ‘til I tried to quit smoking and ended up Undead. Who in the hell did I screw over in a former life that my getting healthy equates with dead?

Now I’m a Vampyre. Yes, we exist whether we want to or not. However, I have to admit, the perks aren’t bad. My girls no longer jiggle, my ass is high
Kindle Edition, 323 pages
Published September 2nd 2013
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really liked it Average rating 4.00  · 
Rating details
 ·  11,206 ratings  ·  1,286 reviews

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Darynda Jones
Sep 04, 2013 rated it it was amazing
“Uproariously witty, deliciously provocative, and just plain fun! No one delivers side-splitting humor and mouth-watering sensuality like Robyn Peterman. This is entertainment at its absolute finest!”
Jun 01, 2017 rated it liked it
Shelves: fantasy
Astrid was a young beautiful woman. All she wanted was to quit smoking and keep her current weight. When a hypnotist offered the services to help people with just these Astrid could not resist. She was probably the last human on Earth who had not heard the saying about something too good to be true. As a result she became a Vampyre - this is a glamorized version of the undead bloodsuckers (please refer to a classic Bram Stoker book in case you have been living under a rock since 2005 when the fi ...more
Sep 26, 2016 rated it really liked it
Robyn Peterman is a funny chick! She knows how to bring on the laughter that makes you look crazy because you are laughing like a loon while reading.

This book is a combination of two other series: Chicagoland Vampires - with another Ethan and a much better version of Merit, and Undead and Unwed - with Betsy's fashion sense and wit.

Our hero is named Astrid and she is just turned into a vampire without her consent. She has to join a vampire "house", like a fraternity, and meets the vampire prince
Jan 02, 2014 rated it did not like it
Shelves: dnf-not-for-me
I'd give this 1.5 stars if I could. Is this 'it's not you, it's me'? Probably. Fashionably Dead met my three-strikes rule fairly quickly:

1) (Stereotypically) average girl turns into a vampire, but wait for it - she is a special vampire, with a special purpose. *cough-cough*MarySue*cough*cough* And everyone loves her, of course, except for the girl who wants her boyfriend.
2) Tries so hard to be funny that it's annoying. Characters who look exactly like celebrities? Gah. And why is Oprah acting l
Sep 07, 2013 rated it it was amazing
I saw this title with a fab review from the awesome Darynda Jones on FB, and for this price I just had to buy it.

And I'm so glad I did!!

This book is hilarious, heart breaking, dirty, sexy and an all together fun read that'll have you begging for more and wondering where the hell book two is.

Astrid is a 29 year old woman living life her way. A smart mouthed, smoking, black raspberry chip ice cream loving Prada whore who teaches art to a bunch of lovable, perverted and foul mouthed old people, she
Nov 26, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Leave your blush at the door, forget what is politically correct...pretty sure Bram Stoker has nothing to worry about, but I'm also pretty sure Robyn Peterman doesn't care!

Astrid just wanted and easy way to quit smoking and not gain weight, sounds normal, right? Why not try hypnotism? Name your adage about that, clearly Astrid got more than she bargained for, although she definitely won’t be inhaling nicotine anytime soon, like EVER and gaining weight probably won’t be an issue, either because o
Sep 03, 2013 rated it it was amazing
I am so excited for this book!!!!

Oh dear lord, what a roller coaster. This book had me laughing out loud, smiling, near crying. I don't know how I'm supposed to wait for the next book?!?!?!
Sep 06, 2013 rated it it was amazing
I was drawn to this book by the cover, to me at least it just said 'come see what I have in store', gotta admit I was seriously glad I took notice. After reading the blurb I bumped it straight to the top of my tbr and that pretty much was that. I loved this book, the snarky one-liners and banter really made me laugh. There was not one character that fell short of what seemed to be their purpose throughout the book, I loved the good guys and hated the bad guys. There were a lot of characters thro ...more
Sep 05, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: favorites
5 OMG,I more than loved it and need the second book RIGHT NOW stars!Seriously one of the funniest books I've read lately.But it's so much more than that.
Dear Robyn are one awesome lady!And you wrote one hell of a book.Also...pretty please,if you can release the second book,like say...tomorrow,I will forever be in your debt.Hell,I'll be your little monster demon baby:))

Seriosly now,I cannot recommend this book highly enough!I really loved it and I know most of my GR friends would t
Nov 01, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: Everyone looking for a funny and different paranormal
If you're looking for a book that's completely different from the rest, a freakishly different vampire book that resembles nothing of the modern day paranormal fan fiction?

Then look no further.

5 Strangely Fantastic Stars

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You'll be taken on one epically unique adventure, so strap yourself in and enjoy this batshit crazy ride.
With a potty mouthed Guardian Angel in the form of Oprah Winfrey.
"I like that you have the word'ass' in your name. It opens up so many possibilities."
A fashion less fairy Ar
Sep 10, 2013 rated it it was amazing
I don't know where to start when I review R. Peterman's books. They are unlike anything else I have ever read. Her first book How Hard Can It Be? is side splitting,pee your pants funny and so is her second book Pirate Dave and His Randy Adventures.
Fashionably Dead is A Very HOT Paranormal romance with lots of twist and turns. Not to mention loads of wackiness.
I love Robyn's voice and it comes through loud and clear in her books.
If you're a lover of vampires, fairies and angels with attitudes d
Lakshmi C
Mar 29, 2016 rated it it was amazing
I finally found the book that conquered and destroyed my dreadful bookslump !!!
This was my first book by Robyn Peterman and it had everything I was looking for.

The book had a great start and the writing was absolutely perfect. I knew I should curl up in a comfortable spot because I was hooked.

Astrid was turned into a vampire without her knowledge or consent. She was close to her Nana and was trying to quit smoking.
The book is told from her pov and she had a great voice. She was snarky, funny a
Twinsie Talk Angie J
Sep 07, 2013 rated it it was amazing

I received this book from the author for an honest review.

I haven't laughed this hard for a loooong time. I have to tell you/warn you to be ready for the hysterical outburst of I freaking SNORTED I was laughing so hard. I even almost spit my sweet tea across the room at one point. So if I must "warn you about this book" please be careful not to choke and die during fits of giggles and laughter while reading.

So this book is about a typical girl who likes to shop...hello Prada. Sh
Sep 04, 2013 rated it really liked it
Chicagoland Vampires and Betsy the Vampire Queen met at a bar, got drunk and nine months later this book was born.

I did laugh a lot reading this book but I couldn't stop thinking about CV and queen Betsy the entire time I was reading it.The characters had many similarities with some of the characters from these two series but I loved them.They were so ridiculous that they were adorable.

I'm definitely reading the next book.

I was going to give it 3 stars because it made me roll my eyes on many oc
Sep 09, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Poor Astrid all she wanted to do was quit smoking . When her life get turned upside down . When she s turned into a vampire . She is thrown into everything vampire . As her evil mother shuns her and her house becomes full of angel and fairies. She meet Ethan the warrior prince , who is walking talking sex in a stick . Who is also claiming to be her mate . Well that's where the fun begins . They fight they mate . As they come to understand why Astrid is the chosen one .
This book has it all a gu
Jacob Proffitt
Apr 16, 2018 marked it as unfinished
I gave this a shot because it was cheap and low-risk. Which is to say, it's pretty clearly a vampire wish-fulfillment fantasy with fashion/it-girl flavor. Which isn't a bad thing and can be entertaining. Unfortunately, that's pretty much all this is with one after another "special" character and zero thought for characterization.

It isn't bad and manages to be pretty much exactly what you'd expect so I'm not going to rate it one way or another. It was an experiment that didn't pay off and that's
Debra Klein
Sep 05, 2013 rated it it was amazing
I absolutely LOVED this book!!! Astrid is probably one of my favorite book chicks...she's smart, fearless, a true friend, and speaks her mind like no one else! The story was so refreshing and entertaining from beginning to end! I felt and loved everything! I hope paranormal and romance fans take a chance on this book! I truly enjoyed it and look forward to reading the next one! Thank you soooo much, Robyn Peterman!!! ...more
Fre06 Begum
Oct 19, 2013 rated it liked it
Seriously what s find! This book was so funny but it had such a hot male lead a spunky female and a truly beautiful love between them both.if you like to read about a couple who would die for each other and reading about really funny sidekicks you will love this I can't wait for the sequel hurry up please Robyn!! ...more
C.S. Edwards
Sep 29, 2013 rated it it was amazing
HOT! FUNNY! And seriously entertaining! Robyn Peterman's latest novel, Fashionably Dead - the premiere novel in the Hot Damned Series - is packed with interesting characters and a twisting and turing plot that keeps you on the edge of your seat. I love the fast paced writing, but it is also thick with detail and information, making the story a rich mix of comedy, love, and mystery. The cliffhanger ending has me wanting more.... A great read that I recommend with great confidence! ...more
Sep 29, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Lots of fun! Personally, Peterman is my go-to-author for a side-splitting laugh. Wow, Robyn has an exceptional imagination. This book is fast paced with fowl mouthed Angels, Prada wearing Vampyres, fashion challenged Fairies, and cannibalistic baby Demons. I highly recommend this book for anyone who enjoys a good laugh with some paranormal thrown in the mix. I believe those who enjoy Gerry Bartlett's Real Vampire Series will get a kick out of Peterman's books. ...more
Kathy Dubois
Sep 11, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Robyn Peterman's imagination is a wild ride to be on! This book is about a newly form Vampyre and her training with some very familiar faux celebrity coaches! I laughed and enjoyed this book very much. Astrid is a great heroine with amazingly funny powers as a Vampyre! Sit back and enjoy!
Terri ♥ (aka Mrs. Christian Grey)
Well, this was an interesting and entertaining read.

So why only three stars... for so many reasons.

Let's start off and say during most of this book especially the first half, we were told most of the things that happened and not shown.

We are told that the Kev trained her to fight and she was good, not shown one lick of the training until later with Sam. However, learning to fight the first time was more important. Okay, we were told she had to drink from Kev because she needed the healing. But t
Sep 12, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Robyn has done it again! She's managed to create another romance infused with humor! What I love most is that her characters are REAL! Astrid (the heroine) could be my best friend. I could see chatting with her over a cup of coffee (well for me, I'm sure she'd want something with a little more...ah...protein) about our obsession with all things Prada! The story is very well told and definitely leaves you wanting more at the end. Highly recommend this book! ...more
Jennifer Boylston
Sep 07, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Peterman has an outrageous, quirky mind that will make you laugh out loud and spill your coffee (I guess that is better then spitting on your book or tablet).

Sometimes, after wiping away laughter tears, you think, "Did she really say that??"

Oh yes she did!
Sep 19, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Hilarious! If you love the Charley Davidson series, I would say this is a book you should give a shot. The heroin is strong, funny, and constantly putting her foot in her mouth. I actually came across this book from Darynda Jones' page and I'm glad I took a look. Very easy read. ...more
Sep 05, 2013 rated it it was amazing
One of the funniest books I've read in a long time! This is one of those books that I will read over and over again! ...more
Marie  Brown (Marie's Tempting Reads)
Marie's Tempting Reads Review:

Another great book by the fun and talented author, Robyn Peterman. I had read this when it was first released but when I was asked if I would like to do a review for Fashionably Dead I knew I had to do a reread to refresh my brain. I forgot how entertaining this was. This book took vampyres to a new and exciting place, making them unique but with certain qualities you would expect from the "normal" vampires. I ADORED it too!
We have such a combination of quirky and o
Brenda Kirton
Sep 04, 2013 rated it really liked it
Wow, enthralling, entertaining, funny, ridiculous, at times disgusting, but impossible to put down. Some of the story, I could see coming, but definitely not the way it arrived. A very enjoyable book on so many levels. Obviously, I am at the edge of my seat waiting for the next one (shades of Perils of Pauline).
Sep 08, 2013 rated it it was amazing
What a great book. I will recommend this to everyone. I can't wait for the next book to come out. This is a book that you will love to read over and over again ...more
Sep 13, 2013 rated it it was amazing
This was laugh out loud funny. And a really entertaining read. Quirky characters, hot sex with a touch of humor, and different than my other reading fare. I really enjoyed it.
Teresa Reasor
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Robyn writes because the people inside her head won’t leave her alone until she gives them life on paper. Her addictions include shoes (the expensive kind), Coke with extra ice in a styrofoam cup, and bejeweled reading glasses.
A former professional actress, she now lives in the south with her family and too many animals to count. Writing gives her a chance to have a job where working in her P.J.’

Other books in the series

Hot Damned (1 - 10 of 14 books)
  • Fashionably Dead Down Under (Hot Damned, #2)
  • Hell on Heels (Hot Damned, #3)
  • Fashionably Dead in Diapers (Hot Damned, #4)
  • A Fashionably Dead Christmas (Hot Damned, #5)
  • Fashionably Hotter Than Hell (Hot Damned, #6)
  • Fashionably Dead and Wed (Hot Damned, #7)
  • Fashionably Fanged (Hot Damned, #8)
  • Fashionably Flawed (Hot Damned, #9)
  • Fashionably Forever After (Hot Damned, #10)
  • Fashionably Fabulous (Hot Damned, #11)

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“I'm twenty-nine, happily single and getting it on a regular basis' I said, enjoying the way their thin lips hung open in an impressive O.

'Well I've never,' Jane gasped.

'Clearly. You should try it some time. I understand Mr Smith is so vision impaired you might have a shot there.'

Their appalled shrieks were music to my ears and I quickly made my escape.”
“Do you mind if we leave here so I can chain smoke 'til I throw up so it will be easier to quit?” 14 likes
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