--------GENERAL THOUGHTS--------
Okay, so this ancient Icelandic saga is confusing but also strangely engrossing and kind of funny (one memorable line: “He will ask you whether there are a lot of good men up [where you’re from]; to which you reply, ‘A lot of perverts, that’s about all.’”).
Names: these get real confusing. There are multiple characters with the same names, and the long-dead author, whoever it is, usually doesn’t bother to make an effort to clarify which Mord (grandfather and grandson, plus another random Mord) or Thjostolf (unrelated, I think?) or Ozur (definitely unrelated) or Olaf (there are so many goddamn Olafs) or Hoskuld (great-grandfather and his great-granson, plus an unrelated Hoskuld) or Thorhall (brothers, oddly enough— and they have a sister named Thorhalla because their parents had zero creativity) or Grim (brothers-in-law) or Thorgerd (unrelated) they’re talking about.
On the plus side, you get wonderful epithets like “Sigurd the Dragon-Killer” and “Ulf the Unwashed” and “Hroar the Tongue-Priest.”
Culture: You get some interesting glimpses to the unique features of High Middle Age-era Icelandic society. For instance, women can inherit, own their own property, marry without male relatives’ consent, and divorce their husbands without much trouble, even for things like “he doesn’t make me orgasm enough.”
--------PLOT SUMMARY--------
Here’s what you need to know: there’s a beautiful young woman named Hallgerd. Her nickname is Longlegs (yes really). She’s a spoiled rotten daddy’s girl with “thief’s eyes” but she’s also feisty, smart, and the most entertaining character in the saga. Her father Hoskuld has a brother named Hrut.
Hrut gets married to a girl named Unn, who promptly divorces him because he doesn’t make her orgasm enough. Unn has a relative named Gunnar; he’s important and will come up later. Gunnar’s best friend’s name is Njal, a wise and somewhat clairvoyant lawyer; he’ll be important later on too.
Got all that? Good.
Here we go.
--------BLOODFEUD #1--------
Hallgerd’s dad Hoskuld sets her up with husband #1 and makes her marry him without asking if she wants to.
Predictably, because Hallgerd is Hallgerd, she and her new husband fight all the time, and once he slaps her for being disobedient. Hallgerd isn’t the kind of girl to take this lying down, so she calls godfather Thjostolf to come kill him. Thatta girl.
Hoskuld is like “okay, lesson learned” so when this guy named Glum asks if he can marry Hallgerd, he wisely decides to ask Hallgerd herself for her preference (“You must now say frankly, since you have a will very much your own, whether it is at all to your liking; and if you are averse to such a contract, we do not wish to discuss it further”). She says sure, he seems like a nice guy.
Off go Hallgerd and Glum to their new home. Thjostolf comes with them, because he is a super creepy godfather who clearly has the hots for his goddaughter and doesn’t want anyone else to have her. And Hallgerd is all “Hey Godfather, don’t kill this husband, I actually like him, ok?” Thjostolf does a little wink-wink-nod-nod: “LOL ya I gotchu.” And he promptly goes and kills Glum.
Thjostolf comes back to Hallgerd and goes “Um idk how to tell you this, but Glum’s dead.” Hallgerd asks, “So you killed him?” And Thjostolf is all “...kinda, yeah.” And Hallgerd laughs (seriously, she does) and says the equivalent of “LOL WOW you really don’t halfass anything, do you?” (“There’s nothing half-hearted about your way of doing things.”)
But secretly, Hallgerd is really pissed he killed her husband when she specifically told him not to so she tells him to run so he doesn’t get in trouble for the murder, and go to her Uncle Hrut who will “take care of him.” Uncle Hrut actually hates Thjostolf, which Hallgerd knows perfectly well, so she’s really sending him there to get killed. Which is what does indeed happen.
Later on, when Njal’s bestie Gunnar asks to marry her, she coyly says “I may be a little particular about husbands.” LOL clearly. They get married, and Gunnar’s friends (Njal and Njal’s wife Bergthora) hate her because she acts like a twat to them. Gunnar tries to make them get along (“Don’t try any mischief on my friends”), but Hallgerd’s all “The trolls take your friends.” Yeah! That’s my girl!
So Bergthora and Hallgerd start hiring hitmen to kill each others’ servants, picking them off one by one. This feud is the initial crux of the saga.
Gunnar’s not happy, and he slaps Hallgerd during an argument. Gunnar and Njal start paying each other cash for the deaths of their respective servants, but it quickly spirals out of control. As, you know, blood feuds tend to do.
Gunnar gets a reputation, through this feud, for being a badass, and he gets a big head. People start challenging him to fights, and he’s too proud to refuse, so he basically starts multiple unnecessary feuds with other people.
When some of those people come to get him, his bowstring breaks and he asks his wife, Hellgerd, if he can have a strand of her hair to make a new bowstring, and that his life depends on it.
Hellgerd lols and goes “Hey remember that one time you slapped me? Bisssh bet you wish you hadn’t done that now.” (You may have noticed Hellgerd really does not like being slapped and people who slap her tend to end up dead). Gunnar is killed and Njal is super sad. Hallgerd, of course, is not.
--------BLOODFEUD #2--------
Njal’s sons get in an unrelated argument with Thrain, who’s married to Hallgerd’s daughter and who also happens to be Gunnar’s uncle. This is the secondary big feud, since the Hallgerd vs. Bergthora one is mostly over.
Njal’s sons kill Thrain, and Njal adopts Thrain’s son Hoskuld (yes, named after the earlier Hoskuld- this Hoskuld is the great-grandson of that Hoskuld). This Hoskuld becomes a great chieftain.
--------BLOODFEUD #3--------
Remember Unn? The divorcee? Right, so her son Mord gets worried his own status as chieftain is threatened by Hoskuld’s success, so he starts trying to convince Njal’s sons to hate their foster brother, which is bizarrely easy, and they end up killing Hoskull which was Mord’s plan.
Hoskuld’s wife convinces her kinsmen to get blood vengeance. They surround Njal’s house to burn it. They tell Njal and his wife Bergthora they can go, but they choose to die with their sons and grandkid. They all lie down, commend their souls to God, and burn to death, except for Kari, who’s married to one of Njal’s daughters.
He escapes and later enacts revenge for his burned family, but after his wife (Njal’s daughter) dies, he marries Hoskuld’s widow and brings peace to the families.