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The Fermi Paradox Is Our Business Model
Jon and Toku travel the universe suspended in Interdream, only waking up to check up on certain business ventures. Simple. Until one of the business ventures, something called "Earth," objects.
17 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 11, 2010
35 people are currently reading
976 people want to read
About the author
Charlie Jane Anders
165 books4,065 followersMy latest book is Victories Greater Than Death. Coming in August: Never Say You Can't Survive: How to Get Through Hard Times By Making Up Stories.
Previously: All the Birds in the Sky, The City in the Middle of the Night, and a short story collection, Six Months, Three Days, Five Others.
Coming soon: An adult novel, and a short story collection called Even Greater Mistakes.
I used to write for a site called io9.com, and now I write for various places here and there.
I won the Emperor Norton Award, for “extraordinary invention and creativity unhindered by the constraints of paltry reason.” I've also won a Hugo Award, a Nebula Award, a William H. Crawford Award, a Theodore Sturgeon Award, a Locus Award and a Lambda Literary Award.
My stories, essays and journalism have appeared in Wired Magazine, the Boston Review, Conjunctions, Tin House, Slate, MIT Technology Review, the New York Times, the Washington Post, the San Francisco Chronicle, Tor.com, Lightspeed Magazine, McSweeney’s, The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, Asimov’s Science Fiction Magazine, ZYZZYVA, Strange Horizons, Apex Magazine, Uncanny Magazine, 3 AM Magazine, Flurb.net, Monkey Bicycle, Pindeldyboz, Instant City, Broken Pencil, and in tons and tons of anthologies.
I organize Writers With Drinks, which is a monthly reading series here in San Francisco that mashes up a ton of different genres. I co-host a Hugo Award-winning podcast, Our Opinions Are Correct, with Annalee Newitz.
Back in 2007, Annalee and I put out a book of first-person stories by female geeks called She’s Such a Geek: Women Write About Science, Technology and Other Nerdy Stuff. There was a lot of resistance to doing this book, because nobody believed there was a market for writing about female geeks. Also, Annalee and I put out a print magazine called other, which was about pop culture, politics and general weirdness, aimed at people who don’t fit into other categories. To raise money for other magazine, we put on events like a Ballerina Pie Fight – which is just what it sounds like – and a sexy show in a hair salon where people took off their clothes while getting their hair cut.
I used to live in a Buddhist nunnery, when I was a teenager. I love to do karaoke. I eat way too much spicy food. I hug trees and pat stone lions for luck. I talk to myself way too much when I’m working on a story.
Previously: All the Birds in the Sky, The City in the Middle of the Night, and a short story collection, Six Months, Three Days, Five Others.
Coming soon: An adult novel, and a short story collection called Even Greater Mistakes.
I used to write for a site called io9.com, and now I write for various places here and there.
I won the Emperor Norton Award, for “extraordinary invention and creativity unhindered by the constraints of paltry reason.” I've also won a Hugo Award, a Nebula Award, a William H. Crawford Award, a Theodore Sturgeon Award, a Locus Award and a Lambda Literary Award.
My stories, essays and journalism have appeared in Wired Magazine, the Boston Review, Conjunctions, Tin House, Slate, MIT Technology Review, the New York Times, the Washington Post, the San Francisco Chronicle, Tor.com, Lightspeed Magazine, McSweeney’s, The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, Asimov’s Science Fiction Magazine, ZYZZYVA, Strange Horizons, Apex Magazine, Uncanny Magazine, 3 AM Magazine, Flurb.net, Monkey Bicycle, Pindeldyboz, Instant City, Broken Pencil, and in tons and tons of anthologies.
I organize Writers With Drinks, which is a monthly reading series here in San Francisco that mashes up a ton of different genres. I co-host a Hugo Award-winning podcast, Our Opinions Are Correct, with Annalee Newitz.
Back in 2007, Annalee and I put out a book of first-person stories by female geeks called She’s Such a Geek: Women Write About Science, Technology and Other Nerdy Stuff. There was a lot of resistance to doing this book, because nobody believed there was a market for writing about female geeks. Also, Annalee and I put out a print magazine called other, which was about pop culture, politics and general weirdness, aimed at people who don’t fit into other categories. To raise money for other magazine, we put on events like a Ballerina Pie Fight – which is just what it sounds like – and a sexy show in a hair salon where people took off their clothes while getting their hair cut.
I used to live in a Buddhist nunnery, when I was a teenager. I love to do karaoke. I eat way too much spicy food. I hug trees and pat stone lions for luck. I talk to myself way too much when I’m working on a story.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 72 reviews
March 19, 2021
The thing about seeking out new civilizations is, every discovery brings a day of vomiting.
this story is about what happens when the answer to humanity's age-old question, "why are we heeeeere?" is as unexpected as it is unwelcome, told from the perspective of a couple of tentacle-laden lovers from a planet other than ours whose interest in us is both anthropological and proprietary.
and there's a fair amount of vomit.
i had to go into the wayback for my weekly tor short because they didn't post a new one last week, and there's also nothing yet slotted in place under the 'upcoming' tab, which makes me a little panicky.
i chose this one because it was listed in the "humor" category and i needed some of that after a pretty garbage-y week, but while that opening line i quoted above was worth a chuckle, i wouldn't personally classify this as humor. other reviewers seem to have gotten more laffs out of it than i did, though, so i guess my sense of humor is on the fritz and YMMV, &etc.
since it doesn't seem like there's going to be a new one dropping this week, if anyone wants to point me towards a good free tor shorty that i've missed over the years, i would very much appreciate the guidance!
read it for yourself here:
https://www.tor.com/2010/08/11/the-fe...
come to my blog!!
this story is about what happens when the answer to humanity's age-old question, "why are we heeeeere?" is as unexpected as it is unwelcome, told from the perspective of a couple of tentacle-laden lovers from a planet other than ours whose interest in us is both anthropological and proprietary.
and there's a fair amount of vomit.
i had to go into the wayback for my weekly tor short because they didn't post a new one last week, and there's also nothing yet slotted in place under the 'upcoming' tab, which makes me a little panicky.
i chose this one because it was listed in the "humor" category and i needed some of that after a pretty garbage-y week, but while that opening line i quoted above was worth a chuckle, i wouldn't personally classify this as humor. other reviewers seem to have gotten more laffs out of it than i did, though, so i guess my sense of humor is on the fritz and YMMV, &etc.
since it doesn't seem like there's going to be a new one dropping this week, if anyone wants to point me towards a good free tor shorty that i've missed over the years, i would very much appreciate the guidance!
read it for yourself here:
https://www.tor.com/2010/08/11/the-fe...
come to my blog!!
December 4, 2016
Light and find of funny.
(I read this story as a little challenge to myself to read one short story everyday in December. As I'm partial to scifi/fantasy, I'm picking my stories by cover art (yes, really) from tor.com's short fiction that's available on their website.)
(I read this story as a little challenge to myself to read one short story everyday in December. As I'm partial to scifi/fantasy, I'm picking my stories by cover art (yes, really) from tor.com's short fiction that's available on their website.)
January 27, 2021
2021 PopSugar Reading Challenge
The shortest book (by pages) on your TBR list
This was such an interesting concept!
The shortest book (by pages) on your TBR list
This was such an interesting concept!
September 28, 2017
Turns out humans don't like to find out they are just a byproduct of a long term financial plan.
September 5, 2020
A fun short story that flips the table on humans :-D You can always count on Charlie Jane Anders to create unique alien lifeforms causally found in fascinating settings with engrossing plots. This is the third or fourth book I have read of hers. Really recommend her as an author to follow on social media as well.
June 9, 2016
An amusing short story that will make you laugh and maybe even want to learn about stuff (like e.g. looking up "fermi paradox" on wikipedia ;)).
First of all, what a great title! And luckily the fun doesn't stop there. I smiled and laughed throughout the whole book, which of course is only about 30 pages long, but the author makes good use of that limited space (no pun intended). Very well crafted with a catchy title, a funny first line, an interesting premise and plot, witty words and an entertaining ending. The whole thing reminded me quite a bit of the late Douglas Adams (which is a big complement, because I very much adore his work) in its light-hearted take on some sombre topics.
Now excuse me while I go and hug my towel.
First of all, what a great title! And luckily the fun doesn't stop there. I smiled and laughed throughout the whole book, which of course is only about 30 pages long, but the author makes good use of that limited space (no pun intended). Very well crafted with a catchy title, a funny first line, an interesting premise and plot, witty words and an entertaining ending. The whole thing reminded me quite a bit of the late Douglas Adams (which is a big complement, because I very much adore his work) in its light-hearted take on some sombre topics.
Now excuse me while I go and hug my towel.
July 10, 2017
this cute ass story
April 27, 2021
Absolutely loved this story, which handled a lot of gender-politics and the question of power, while remaining committed to a cracking story of first (?) contact.
Essential read, in my humble opinion.
Essential read, in my humble opinion.
December 26, 2015
Terry Pratchett said that "Evil begins when you begin to treat people as things." That's the overwhelming feeling in Charlie Jane Anders's tale of apocalyptic capitalism. It's hard not to say too much about a thirty-two page story. Let's say we start with some poor alien office workers in the most callous job in the universe and end with a nagging desire to read a sequel.
Look, you can read it here officially and legally. Go. You'll be a better person, and the quiz is on Monday.
Look, you can read it here officially and legally. Go. You'll be a better person, and the quiz is on Monday.
May 5, 2017
Resolvi explorar mais o gênero de "short-stories" de SciFi, até para fazer contraponto aos livros do Neal Stephenson e KSR.
O conto é curtinho e bem engraçado, sobre uma raça alienígena que visita civilizações que entraram em extinção para recolher as sobras e que, infelizmente, esbarra com a civilização de uma tal "Terra".
O conto é curtinho e bem engraçado, sobre uma raça alienígena que visita civilizações que entraram em extinção para recolher as sobras e que, infelizmente, esbarra com a civilização de uma tal "Terra".
August 28, 2017
This is a pretty basic little story about, well, the subject line. Could have been written anytime from the 1950s to now (in outline). For noobs, Fermi Paradox
I liked CJA's sly little nod to Jack Womack's Dryco = Dorfco here. Otherwise, a pleasant-enough way to spend a few minutes. 2.7 stars
I liked CJA's sly little nod to Jack Womack's Dryco = Dorfco here. Otherwise, a pleasant-enough way to spend a few minutes. 2.7 stars
August 22, 2012
A pretty hilarious, tongue-in-cheek look at notions of God, creation, and our purpose in life - and accompanied by a nasty sneaky feeling that this may be more spot-on than we think.
Short and snappy.
Short and snappy.
July 18, 2025
A visit to a planet seeded as a long term investment is fairly common, but when the inhabitants of the planet Earth object to being thought of as a business, what can be done?
A smart little story, which looks at alien contact in a unique way.
A smart little story, which looks at alien contact in a unique way.
November 7, 2017
Great concept behind the whole thing - the protagonists come from a race of creatures that seeded the galaxy long ago with intelligent life that is supposed to kill itself off, leaving the remnants to be collected by said creatures. Comedy ensues when they arrive at Earth to find that the humans haven't completely destroyed themselves yet and don't fancy being plundered.
I don't really know what I make of this. I enjoyed it, I suppose, but it was a bit...simple in execution and in the plot. Kinda short and very daft, which is I suppose what Charlie was going for when he wrote it.
I don't really know what I make of this. I enjoyed it, I suppose, but it was a bit...simple in execution and in the plot. Kinda short and very daft, which is I suppose what Charlie was going for when he wrote it.
February 3, 2016
An ace little short story told from the point of view of two extra terrestrials. The main idea behind how an entire civilization has chosen to exploit the resources of the galaxy is an imaginative one filled with possibilities!
Well written and thoughtful.
Read it for free on Tor.com or buy it for less than £1 on Kindle.
Well written and thoughtful.
Read it for free on Tor.com or buy it for less than £1 on Kindle.
March 18, 2017
I enjoyed the concept very much but overall the story seemed a bit hollow and lacking in both detail and significance. Perhaps that's the point--in which case this work was very effective!--but there just wasn't enough for me here. I loved the writing though, I will definitely seek out longer works by this author.
June 2, 2015
A really creative idea rendered well by two sentient bipedal paramecia. The story is somewhat similar in theme to Asimov's 'The Gentle Vultures' but I like how the interpersonal dynamics between Jon, Toku and the Instigator play out.
July 3, 2015
Entertaining but basically nonsensical. None of the plot actually makes sense if you think about it for even a second. Furthermore the main characters were not very alien aliens. In fact I guess it's not very good after all.
July 25, 2015
Short and sweet sci-fi! Had to read a short story or something after reading this overloaded-with-info article about the Fermi Paradox (x)
January 2, 2016
What a treat! An hilarious explanation of the Fermi's Paradox that could have been written by (Hitchhiker guide to the galaxy) Douglas Adams or (Diskworld) Terry Pratchett, featuring an alien couple that would fit perfectly in a Saturday Night Live skit. I recommend it to everyone.
January 18, 2016
Charlie Jane Anders was recommended in a Guardian round up of SF so I gave it a go. I liked this without being really wowed. It's a short story and took hardly any time to read, but I liked the concept and would have been interested to read more
March 20, 2017
I definitely agree with the author that the Fermi Paradox is the business model of all the business on Earth. Every business out there wants to destroy other business so that they themselves can become better.
September 14, 2017
what happens when u find out that you're being exploited for profit and valued only for the Things You Produce hmmmmmmmmmm what Could Possibly Go Wrong
(but its also kind of a love story between tentacled beings so that was fun?)
(but its also kind of a love story between tentacled beings so that was fun?)
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 4, 2011
Nice and fun read.
A short scifi story, with no consequences and no aftermaths.
Just the concept ripe to be further explored or just be left alone...
A short scifi story, with no consequences and no aftermaths.
Just the concept ripe to be further explored or just be left alone...
May 2, 2013
Short and fun, scifi like I like.
May 5, 2014
A good, funny short story.
August 2, 2014
Thought provoking short story about why we might really exist in this universe...
December 31, 2015
A fun, little story.
March 7, 2016
Torn between 3 and 4 stars.
March 22, 2016
Not particularly inspiring.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 72 reviews