My new drug: Christopher Pike books.
Welcome to another edition of: the kids aren't alright.
SPOILERS
Shani, Angie, and Kerry are three high school seniors driving from Santa Barbara to Mexico for a fun weekend with their classmates. Two sisters, Robin and Lena, own a house in Mexico and have invited their closest friends to join them. I use the term 'close friends' loosely, as Shani's inner thoughts reveal that there is quite a bit of drama within that circle. Lena and Kerry hate each other because Lena stole Kerry's boyfriend. Both Lena and Kerry are problematic, and Shani reflects that she doesn't fully trust either of them. Relatable.
Lena, while no one can definitively prove it, is believed to have sabotaged Kerry's performance at the school gym, which led to Kerry's humiliation and was one of the reasons her boyfriend left her for Lena. Lena's sister, Robin, is Shani's best friend and experienced a tragic accident a month after Kerry's embarrassing performance. The details remain unclear, but she suffered a severe accident, lost both kidneys, and now requires dialysis. Two other key members of the group are Park and Sol. They truly are a pair of diamonds. Park is a close friend of Shani, and it's puzzling why the girls continue their friendship with him since he broke up with Robin, unable to cope with the consequences of her accident, and is now in a relationship with Angie. Sol was Kerry's boyfriend who left her for Lena and is the cool/tough guy of the group. The author's portrayal of his Mexican heritage made me cringe, but I had to remind myself that this was written in 1986, and it could have been much worse.
If you can't keep up with all the drama and the past and present relationships, that's fine; neither can I.
Additional members of this unusual group include Bert, the well-meaning but dim-witted jock, and Flynn, who transferred from England and who all the girls swoon over.
We finally find out what happened to Robin. A party was held at Angie's place, where everyone indulged in drinks except for Robin. Robin didn't want to drink, but she gave in to peer pressure. She had a beer and then fell asleep. They assumed her sleepiness was due to her lack of experience with alcohol, but the reality was far more serious. Kerry also started feeling unwell. At the hospital, it was revealed that both Robin and Kerry had been poisoned. Kerry was fortunate enough to recover since she had ingested only a small amount of the poison, but Robin's condition was critical. She survived the ordeal but lost both of her kidneys, and unless a compatible blood relative can be found to donate a kidney (as Robin was adopted), her life hangs in the balance.
Strange things keep happening in the house.
Shani appears to be the smartest one in the group, but then she decides to head out alone for a hike in the desert wearing sneakers (and taking no water with her), ends up lost, and tumbles down a hill. Oh, and she keeps overlooking all the sketchy stuff Flynn pulls and makes out with him because he's a hot British guy. Okay, I'm not going to pretend this isn't relatable.
The conclusion has a vibe reminiscent of 20th-century American soap operas. There are multiple people accountable for the chaos, and the hilarious part is that each one acted independently with their own motives. Just picture the three Spiderman meme where they point fingers at each other. I figured out who poisoned Robin and the motive from the very beginning, and I also figured out which two characters were secret siblings; it's pretty obvious, but some details still surprised me.
Kerry was the one who poisoned Robin, but the poison was actually meant for Robin's sister, Lena, who had stolen Kerry's boyfriend (in case you needed a reminder). Kerry felt guilty, but not guilty enough since she also attempted to sabotage Robin's dialysis machine to make it seem like Lena couldn't take care of her sister. The ironic part? It wasn't Lena who ruined Kerry's performance by switching her pants; it was Angie. And she did it because those faulty pants were meant for Robin, not Kerry. Why did Angie do that? Well, she wanted to humiliate Robin, hoping that Park would dump her since she had a crush on him. None of these girls heard the term 'buds over studs' and it shows.
Flynn, whose real name isn't Flynn, is actually Robin's long-lost brother. Both Lena and Flynn were causing chaos for everyone, but I won't dive into that because it's a long, absurd, semi-believable, semi-crazy tale, and I am exhausted.
None of the characters are truly bad people; they're just stupid and petty. Robin receives a transplant from her long-lost brother and survives. She is the only character I truly connected with, and I think the author made a mistake by not making her the narrator instead of Shani and Park.
This is the least creepy Pike book I've read, but that's due to the characters' stupidity, which made it hard for me to take them seriously. I still had a good time, mainly because their idiocy was quite entertaining. I suppose I shouldn't be too critical of them—after all, I shouldn't expect privileged teens from Santa Barbara in the 80s to possess any survival skills.
This book has the funniest line I've ever seen in a horror novel. Park knew intellectually that he should turn and run, but his upper-class, manicured body would not cooperate. HIS UPPER-CLASS, MANICURED BODY. Ok, dude.
Then this happened: The snake, bent on Caucasian meat...
I was literally dying from laughter. This was the chapter where I realized that Park was the most clueless and funniest character I have ever encountered in literature. I should have caught on sooner when he compared himself to Ryan O'Neal's character in Love Story (even though Ryan never abandoned his sick wife, unlike Park). He does experience some character growth by asking Robin to take him back and giving up Harvard for her. Ryan O'Neal would be proud.