With tongue-in-cheek humor, the creator of the award-winning Confessions of a Part-Time Sorceress takes on the self-help section, proving that the benefits of the Dungeons & Dragons® game goes far beyond simple entertainment.
About a million years ago, Shelly Mazzanoble had a short story published in a literary magazine called Whetstone. They paid her $50 which she used to purchase a keg and threw a great big party.
Motivated by her strong desire to curate menus for cocktail parties and her friends’ penchant for drinking free beer, Shelly has gone on to publish short stories and essays in Carve, The Seattle Times, Scary Mommy, In the Powder Room, and has been syndicated on popular websites such as Blunt Moms and BlogHer, where she has been named a featured writer. She writes a regular column called Mom in the Middle for the Seattle-based parenting resource organization PEPs (Program for Early Parent Support) where she seeks to scare daunt forewarn enlighten new parents about the terrors joys of parenthood.
Not wanting to completely waste the theater degree procured from lovely Ithaca College, she removed all the narrative from that first published short story and turned it into a one-act play. Blue Malls, starring Shelly herself, was produced in Seattle’s Mae West Fest XIII. Due to the anxiety dreams still plaguing her, she did not star, support or even understudy in her play, The Chicken & the Egg (also originally a short-story), which was produced in Mae West Fest IV and later Manhattan Theatre Source’s Estrogenius Festival.
In 2006, Shelly was introduced to the roleplaying game, Dungeons & Dragons, while working for Wizards of the Coast. She’s still bitter that no one introduced her to this game earlier as her imaginary friends and innate desire to lie tell stories would have been put to good use. Her book, Confessions of a Part-Time Sorceress: A Girls Guide to the Dungeons and Dragons Game published by Wizards of the Coast, was nominated for an Origins Award and won an ENnies Award— the annual fan-based celebration of excellence in tabletop roleplaying gaming. Confessions has been translated into Japanese with the far superior title of, On Mondays I’m a Wizard (even though her game was on Wednesdays) and has been required reading in college classes focusing on game design and theory. Her second book, Everything I Need to Know I Learned From Dungeons & Dragons: One Woman’s Quest to Trade Self-Help for Elf-Help was nominated for an Origins Award and has the distinct honor of being read by at least six of her non-D&D playing friends. Shelly really loves writing books with very long titles. In fact, she is at work on another book with a very long title. Sadly it does not include a dungeon or a dragon but it does include a toddler and several uses of the term “lady parts.” (TMI? Just wait.)
When not slandering the reputations of newborns and eschewing the very notion that having “just one baby” is indeed easy (WTH, Mom?!) She enjoys perfecting her Bert from Sesame Street impression (“Ernie! My pige-unnns!”), eating raw cookie dough, Ladies of London, when her husband is the one who gets up to fix her son breakfast, going down a Pinterest rabbit hole, painting things gray, ankle booties, her green sweatpants, quoting Mommie Dearest, the idea of a garden, and being the oldest mom at daycare. She lives in Seattle with an alpha cat named Zelda, various foster dogs, a very patient man who either doesn’t read her blog or just has a really good sense of humor, and a genius* toddler who loves Panda bears, falling down, and poop, and who provides his proud mother with endless fodder. At least until he gets a lawyer. Shelly encourages you to check out her blog, especially the older entries because she had a lot more time to think and edit back then. If you like reality TV, Shelly wants to be your friend.
Funny book but kind of disappointing in how much actual D&D stuff is included in the book still the daughter mother dialogues are worth reading just for the sheer fun.
It took a while to get through this book - not because it was horrible or anything but it was a drag in some parts. I really enjoyed when she chose D&D gods and lived and channeled their spirit for a week as I thought was a very creative way to break out of routine.
I'm not sure who the audience for this book is supposed to be, which is too bad, because conceptually the audience for a self-help book about Dungeons & Dragons includes definitely me.
This is not for people new to D&D, as it takes no steps to explain the game. References to tieflings, DCs, and initiative rolls are made with no context. The author also clearly plays 4th edition, so even I was put off by talk about strikers and whatever. I feel like an officially licensed book marketed to women that does not include any formal introduction to the game is a bafflingly huge missed opportunity.
This also doesn't seem to be for people who already like D&D, who might want to read something that remotely reminds them of the things they enjoy about playing it? Actual references to gameplay are few and far between. The story about DMing a game for her friend's kids was kind of sweet, but I don't totally believe that it happened (most of the anecdotes and a good 95% of the conversations felt made up). There was no real case made for D&D being able to improve your life.
In one chapter, the author decides she can use D&D to help her single friend meet guys. She does not, say, walk her through rolling up a character sheet and make some metaphor about crafting an online dating profile, or put together a one-shot game with a bunch of single guys and make observations about how the social dynamics differ from bar culture. Instead, the author loans her friend a t-shirt with a D&D joke on it. Friend wears it out jogging and guys start flocking to her! But one guy is really nice, and they end up walking and talking for hours together. But it turns out he's gay! Har har! Isn't that just like men? This humorous situation definitely happened and was not made up. I feel like this is a decent summation of the entire book.
I guess if you want a fluffy memoir with a metric ton of jokes about what a nag the author's mom is and what a slob the author's boyfriend is and occasional D&D references, you are the audience for this.
On one hand, I want Shelly Mazzanoble and everyone like her to get themselves out of 'my hobby' and most assuredly away from D&D. She presents herself as a shallow, insipid, mostly stupid [insert the proper term for the female version of a "man-child" here]. Worse, she doesn't seem to understand D&D beyond what her limited, seemingly work mandated experiences have brought to light. She does not do a good job of explaining D&D to those unfamiliar with it and she comes off as a dangerous neophyte to those who were actually playing it when TSR ruled and GenCon lived in Wisconsin.
On the other hand, she does have an engaging writing style that is a better fit for the more girly crowd she may or may not be writing for. Her presentations of conversations with her mother read like some of the dialogue an occasional writing partner of mine would come up with, though with a little less focus. It would seem that she was trying to work through her experiences in life in regards to her job at WoTC, and since she worked D&D and not Magic: The Gathering, it got a light dusting of D&D to try to explain it in terms that weren't entirely subject to her reality TV worldview.
A fair amount of this book is poorly written, but it ends up being pleasant enough (skip the last chapter) so long as one takes it as the memoir from a work-a-day person who happens to be associated with what used to be a very prestigious (if only to a small group) brand.
I don't know, maybe the book is a bit better than 2 stars. I don't hate it, but I was a bit bored by it.
Don't really go here for stories actually related to D&D....though to be fair I guess the title says it. It's a sort of memoir of how she came to know D&D as a player, other's reaction to it (and don't all of us [gamers] know about that) and the life lessons she learned. t might be said to be a practical application for lessons from D&D book.
I found myself quickly a bit bored and skimming. Then again I suppose (as I've said before) I'm not really the primary "target audience" for this book.
If it sounds like something that would interest you give it a shot. Don't hate it but not one I'll go back to.
Sometime during last spring (I want to say April/May time frame), I was able to read Shelly Mazzanoble's Everything I Need to Know I Learned from Dungeons & Dragons. Anyone who knows me would be able to tell you that self-help books are not the sort of reading material that I would go out of my way to read. I am even less likely to read about someone else's experience using self-help books. This is not so much from an issue of self-assuredness, but more from a general distrust of any kind of book that portends to be able to fix you through reading it alone. Thankfully, Shelly Mazzanoble does not attempt to do this.
As a gamer, if I do not know any better I would say that she plays rogues rather than sorcerers. Her writing style is very sneaky in how the humor does an exceptional job at hiding one of the most important lessons that roleplaying games teach. This book is more profound then it would appear from a cursory read. It makes the book a very friendly to non-gamers while discussing just how roleplaying games work on a social level. In many ways, this book picks up where Confessions of a Part-Time Sorceress leaves off. With that book shows how much fun these types of games are, this book shows some of the deeper psychological impacts that games can have on their players. For this reason, if for no other, do not let the humor blinds you to just how insightful this book is.
If you have been a lifelong gamer, you may have experienced some of the same annoyances with parents that Shelly Mazzanoble describes between herself and her mother. There are many parallels between how her mother reacts and people outside of the hobby who do not have a clear understanding of just what gamers get out of playing roleplaying games. The humor may make light of the situations, but it shows how much we internalize the social lessons that games like Dungeons & Dragons can teach us. Whatever you learn in the game definitely carries over into everyday social interactions. So, how does he accomplish this?
After setting up the context in the first chapter describing the parallels between her mother's offerings of self-help books and adventures that mimic Dungeons & Dragons, she goes into detail about trying to apply setting concepts in the form of D&D's deities to her own life. It is easy to laugh at this until you read into the subtext of what is going on with these experiments. The majority of the lessons embedded in the moral codes for these deities are not so dissimilar from what one would find being espoused by self-help gurus.
In the next chapter, she moves on to talk about dating and the peculiar similarities between gaming and dating. For a book about gaming, it seems a strange intersection of relationships and D&D. Yet, she proceeds to show how pivotal the game can be in regards to forming relationships both within and without the play space through her own relationships as well as a friend. While this is not necessarily an avocation of games as courtship, there is something important embedded in this that makes the humor all that more endearing. Games, like rituals, are a social glue that help us form tighter bonds and when we play with others, we are allowed to relax and just enjoy the moment, even if outsiders like Shelly Mazzanoble’s mom cannot make the connection between the advice offered by so-called experts and game designers who create material that bridges the psychology of characterization and the highly interactive nature of shared storytelling.
This leads into the chapter on relating experiences. Now, anyone who claims they do not need an editor is a liar or the greatest writer who never lived. We have a tendency in the US to be overly sensitive about our image; or, more accurately, the images of others. Commercialism has its downsides. That said, some of us need to learn to be more concise while others need to be expositorier. Seriously, that is a real word; and, yes, introverts need to learn how to clarify and speak more while extroverts need some heavy editing. I do not need to know what you bought at the store unless it is relevant to the story and saying something as vague as “it’s done” does not do anyone any favors. For those wondering, I am an introvert, and depending on my audience, I go from one extreme to the other (oh, you’re talking about games, let’s talk shop for hours). It is really surprising what you learn when you sit behind the gamemaster’s screen and how much of it applies to your non-gaming life.
The last few chapters cover domestic issues, but the strange thing is that these are issues we face as gamers. I am as guilty as anyone when it comes to having a favorite edition of an RPG. I have been very vocal of my extreme dislike of Dungeons & Dragons, 4th Edition to the point of being just shy of calling down a pox on its designers (sorry, guys, it’s one of my pet peeves when a system feels punitive). Oddly enough, learning to cohabitate with someone is a lot like learning to adjust to someone’s preferred system. Who knew you could learn the same damn lesson from D&D’s edition wars as you could from reading Who Moved My Cheese? In gaming, we thrive on change. It is the act of random chance or imperfect knowledge that gives the thrill and keeps us coming back for more.
Life is not meant to be static, no matter how much we might like it to be. Learning to accept change and compromise is part of the lessons learned to not only keep the gaming group coming back week after week, but also in showing us how to grow, adapt, and realize how strong we are. Group cohesion takes effort and planning, so do our connections to others. Knowing when to give in and when to be firm is as much an art as it is a game. I am not one to talk about whether or not I cry while reading books, watching movies or plays, or any other wondrous event which moves me, but this book did. Most artistic works do not do this to me as I am aware of their artifice. What made this book different is that it is very touching in how it examines what the legacy of D&D is and how valuable the roleplaying game is. Do not be fooled by Shelly Mazzanoble’s humor. This book is a serious look at the power of a game that is so misunderstood by the world at large. There is a question that the book asks of its readers and it is difficult to tell whether it is consciously acknowledged or not. Quite simply: whose books are really better as guides to self-help? Both roleplaying games and self-help books encourage you to explore aspects of your personality and habits with one actively requiring that you participate with others.
This book has been on my reading list for a while, and while I said that the first book of the year that I was going to read was going to be The Name of the Rose with my recovery I needed to start out with something not so intimidating. OMG where to start with this book, maybe a little background on me. I started playing D&D when I was in my late teens, I still play D&D, I love D&D. That is enough about me. On to the book.
I started reading this late a night, then in the morning I took it to the laundry mat with me. NOT a good thing for me to do that day. Why? I had ear buds in, reading the book and I was laughing so hard that I had tears rolling down my face. The other people in the laundry were all looking at me like I was possessed. In the book she starts each chapter with a conversation with her mother, and what self help book that she has sent Shelly that week. She talks about life, going out side the comfort zone, and of course D&D.
I no longer have the book in my possession, a friend of mine has borrowed it. Then when I get it back my son wants to read it. Read this book if you like funny, D&D, memoirs, funny but do not eat or drink anything when reading it. Remember ale out the nose is not fun and it hurts.
This is a funny and smart examination of what people can learn from roleplaying games. Shelly's style is personable and approachable. There might be people who say that the perspective is too girly, but it gives a real sense of some relatable experiences regardless of your gender. There's quite a bit that is universal about the experience of gaming. And it gives some examples of what gamers can learn through the different perspectives of play. This includes things like empathy, communication, exploration, and improvisation, just to name a few things. While gamers might know some of these things already, the perspective is valuable since there are still gatekeepers trying to lock out women from gaming. This is also a really good read for non-gamers who might not understand what's going on with roleplaying games.
I selected this book purely based upon the title, so I was not quite sure what I was getting into. The book is not really about D&D, so do not go into it expecting much about the game. It is, however, about how the author has used the game to help her make sense of parts of her life.
I enjoyed the book, though I won't say that it is the most groundbreaking read. I chuckled quite a bit, which is what I was hoping for, so it met my needs and expectations. I am a dabbler in D&D, so I recognize many of the references, but I am not sure how either a non-player or a truly dedicated player will take the book.
Really enjoyed this book - I love that Shelly became a part of the dungeons and dragons official podcast - I love her sense of humour! I thought her experiment of looking at the d+d deities and the kinds of things they stood for and living her life that way for a week was a really interesting study with a variety of interesting results! I always love hearing/reading about conversations with her mum Judy they make me smile and laugh every time and I can feel shelly's frustration leaping off the pages at times! we've all been there I think! Great read :)
Shelly brings the everyday worldly problems of the average mortal into the realm of dungeons and dragons. In doing this she is able to successfully give light to these real world monsters by transforming them into d & d monsters that are able to be battled in a safe environment. Whether it be religion, adult relationships, or OCD all are able to be vanquished. If you are a cynic at heart, a d & d fan, or just enjoy laughing at how strange life seems to throw all its got at you. Then this is definitely a read you can't miss!
All I can say is..YAY! The ending alone made the book one of my personal favorites. Just a ton of happy came from this book. Which really helped as my copy came to me in the mail on the same day my hubby and I received some horrible news. Shelly really cheers me up. Seriously...I am usually carrying one of her books on me to show to other people.
First I have read of her - I didn't read Dragon cover to cover in the last few years, so I missed her column. Some interesting bits, but overall not that great. Only a few references to the subject of the title. I wouldn't at all be surprised if the chapters *were* columns - there's little connection or cohesiveness.
This book got a lot of sub par reviews, but I found it delightful! A fun, quick read about the author's everyday life that happened to involve D&D. Fluff, but sometimes that's exactly what the doctor ordered.
I didn't come to this book with any expectations and so I was surprised at how funny it was! A heavy dose of sarcasm and cynicism, with some good geeky stuff thrown in. Lots of fun!
An incredibly fun book! I love Shelly's writing style - she makes everything from Dwarven Runes to meal prepping while watching guilty pleasure tv seem relatable and fun!
I feel like I need some background before I can start this review. I've played tabletop classic roleplaying games like D&D for more than ten years now. I know, some have for way longer, this is not a comparison point, that is my own background. And I can see that the author has some too. So why didn't I really like this book, in which most of the advices are quite true, although maybe a bit on the light side, and are related to the game I know and love this much, because let's be honest here, once you start D&D, it's gonna stick or it's gonna go, it's really not often that someone will have a middling opinion on this type of past-time, although all kinds of players do exist. But I digress. My real problem with this book is that where it's advertised for people like me who love D&D, it has nothing to really do with us.
Let me explain. The author seems nice, she's quirky, she's a 30 something living the life in Seattle, with the dream job at Wizard's and all. And that's what this book is really about, the author. Sure, there's some little advice, self-help fortune cookie wisdom adapted to D&D, sparkled in for some measure. And then some more about the girly, quirky control-freak who is the author. And yes, she writes fine, it's funny at times, and I have to agree with almost everything she states about D&D players. They are mostly nice people and, yes, it is a guy's field, up until some years ago when the hobby became more mainstream, thanks to people like Matt Mercer. But I can't relate to her. She's so far from who I am that the only connection, which should be the most important, gets lost in the flood of unimportant, unrelatable anecdotes.
What more, she doesn't prove any of her points. When she talks about how faith in the game can help you connect to some form of spirituality, which would have been a good essay subject, one I would love to read, she goes on a week of trying out deities which means nothing, really. When she wants to prove D&D can help with romantic encounters, she only lend a t-shirt to a friend to see if guys will be attracted. (I'm sorry, I don't believe three guys would instantly see a girl with a shirt they like and start following her. In years of wearing geekys shirts, I got stopped once by someone who said he liked the same show I did, and that I had good reading tastes, so might have been the Game of Thrones book too, since it was in the height of it's popularity.) Again, she could have tried to introduce her in a circle of players and friends, let her try to get in the game and see if she'd end up with one of them, maybe, but this, it's just sad.
So then, considering, I should think I'm not the target audience, but then, who is? It's not really D&D players, but then the jokes and reference are there for show, because if you don't play the game, you wont understand half of them. So who?
I don't really know what more to say at this point. It was an unremarkable biography of sorts, and not one I'd recommend. I'll put this on the same shelf as Felicia Day's memoir, which is to say, it wasn't worth the time.
I have to confess I hate self-help books. I hate the whole self-help for $X.99 culture. I got this book on a whim, as will try anything once, when it comes to literature and seeing as it was written by a Dragon Magazine columnist, well...
It's not a terrible book. I guess some people would find it very entertaining, as it illustrates this parallel journey between gaming and the vicissitudes of life, especially from the perspective of a non-millennial woman (don't bite my head off - millennials have (had) tremendously more exposure and access to RPGs and their culture).
However, I found it rather uninteresting to me personally and sometimes difficult to follow the point it was trying to make. As I read somewhere else, I am not sure who it's intended for. Maybe, in fact, it's intended exclusively for people like the writer, a woman (yes, it matters) who discovered RPGs relatively late, past the hobby's creative prime, and also near the end of its marketing resurrection with 3.5E and moving towards 4E (and its near annihilation).
If you come across this book, have a thorough look at various sections before buying it. It's likely you will know if it's relevant to you or not.
This book takes off a like a rocket, weaving D&D and self-help in ways that had me laughing out loud. Who would've thought these two things would go together so well? The author's wit and funny asides made it feel like a good sitcom. It was like Rachel from Friends playing D&D.
Alas, it doesn't keep up the pace. As the book goes along, there's less D&D and more sitcom, or even rom-com, and my interest started to fade. Recommended for D&D players who are looking for a different take on their favorite game. The audiobook is good on a long trip.
Not what I had hoped as there is very little D&D in the book. The book doesn't do D&D or its players any good, actually. Other than Chapter 4, D&D receives the same condescending. isn't-this-over-the-top-whacky tone as her mother does. For a self-help book this isn't very helpful or insightful. In fact, I think the "self-help" in the title is satire. Were we supposed to see this as a real self-help book?
Side-note: Mrs. Fox and the Tattle Tail? Repugnant. And yes, someone putting boogers in your crayon box deserves some adult help.
Despite branding itself as a D&D self-help book this book somehow only manages to be a lame, completely unrelatable self-help book that only tangentially relates to D&D.
I purposely waited a few days to write my review for this book, because frankly, I was hoping my disgust would lessen.
It hasn't.
If you, or any woman you know, for that matter, has an interest in gaming of any kind, please just pretend that this book does not exist. It is nothing but a couple hundred pages of apologetic, vain, gamer girl nonsense. Don't get me wrong, the struggles the author faces with her family and relationships are very real, but trying to align them with different D&D mechanics is labored and trite at best and offensive at worst. The author is clearly successful at what she does, has a good life, and works hard at her hobbies, profession, and relationships. That being said, the tone of this book, which I think was meant to be lighthearted, comes across as lazy and self-deprecating.
This book is getting two stars instead of one for one reason: inspiration is clear on most every page. This is a woman who loves Dungeons and Dragons and clearly believes everyone can benefit from at least playing through a single session. I happen to agree with her on that point, but even more than that, I appreciate people who find drive and inspiration from unlikely sources. Even in today's market that is overflowing with nerd-dom, D&D is a pretty unlikely, and I do think that's pretty awesome.
The perfect book for any gamer! Well, maybe, maybe not. Shelly’s brand of D+D is probably not what gamers are used to at their tables. She is very much the feminine type that embraces her love of shopping, shoes, and trashy tv, but also Dungeons and Dragons. It is that love of the game, and her mother’s apparently endless effort to improve her daughter’s life via self help books that inspired this book.
Everyone has issues. How we deal with those issues is often a very personal journey. Being able to tackle those issues with role playing isn’t new, but the way Shelly goes about it is probably a little more unique than most. She actively, and with the support of her friends and coworkers, uses the game to attempt to make changes to her life. Some are more successful than others.
While I am clearly not the target audience for this book, I did find it enjoyable.
*For those who don’t know, Shelly Mazzanoble works for Wizards of the Coast in the marketing department, so there is a certain amount of making everyone look good, especially her bosses and DMs. That isn’t to say that they aren’t genuinely good people and need any spiffing up, just that it should be taken with a grain of salt.
I was wondering... did the Harpy manage at last to marry the brave adventurer? :-) And did the Mother keep sending books to her Kindle? That's the part I'd miss most! Enjoyable book, especially because it links D&D to everyday life and reverse the well established cliché that geeks are always sweating on science fiction movies and tv shows, possibly drinking soda.
I'd like to write something like this myself, only I'm afraid my feline is rather bossier (she's tried more than once to destroy some of my D&D books) and my Harpy quality is less developed... I'm more of a Kenku guy I'm afraid, with a touch of eladrin pride and sometimes gnome gullibility! :-)
Pity there's no Italian translation of this book, otherwise this would be my standard gift for Christmas to all my my female acquaintances aged 15 to 95. so they can learn from the Harpy herself that D&D is absolutely safe. Yeah, safe. Mmmh. Says the guy who claims to have "eladrin pride". Shelly, can you ask your mum to pick some self-help books for me too? "Get a Life" would be a nice start. Thanks. :-)
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
The novel details how Shelly Mazzanoble deals with a number different problems in her life usually through the help of some insight gleaned from roleplaying. The stories are generally light-hearted and funny, but by the end of the book I found myself wanting something more. I really enjoyed how Shelly played with the structure and formatting of the different essays like the last section where the story was written like a dungeons and dragons campaign. Seeing these type of formatting decisions work allows me to take more chances in my own writing.