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I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas
From Lewis Black, the uproarious and perpetually apoplectic New York Times -bestselling author and Daily Show regular, comes a ferociously funny book about his least favorite holiday, Christmas.
Christmas is supposed to be a time of peace on earth and goodwill toward all. But not for Lewis Black.
He says humbug to the Christmas tradtitions and trappings that make the holiday memorable. In I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas , his hilarious and sharply observed book about the holiday, Lewis lets loose on all things Yule. It's a very personal look at what's wrong with Christmas, seen through the eyes of "the most engagingly pissed-off comedian ever."*
From his own Christmas rituals—which have absolutely nothing to do with presents or the Christmas tree or Rudolph—to his own eccentric experiences with the holiday (from a USO Christmas tour to playing Santa Claus in full regalia), I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas is classic Lewis funny, razor-sharp, insightful, and honest.
You'll never think of Christmas in the same way.
*Stephen King
Christmas is supposed to be a time of peace on earth and goodwill toward all. But not for Lewis Black.
He says humbug to the Christmas tradtitions and trappings that make the holiday memorable. In I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas , his hilarious and sharply observed book about the holiday, Lewis lets loose on all things Yule. It's a very personal look at what's wrong with Christmas, seen through the eyes of "the most engagingly pissed-off comedian ever."*
From his own Christmas rituals—which have absolutely nothing to do with presents or the Christmas tree or Rudolph—to his own eccentric experiences with the holiday (from a USO Christmas tour to playing Santa Claus in full regalia), I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas is classic Lewis funny, razor-sharp, insightful, and honest.
You'll never think of Christmas in the same way.
*Stephen King
178 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2010
52 people are currently reading
478 people want to read
About the author
Lewis Black
40 books183 followersLewis Niles Black is an American stand-up comedian, author, playwright and actor. He is known for his comedy style which often includes simulating a mental breakdown or an increasingly angry rant, ridiculing history, politics, religion, trends and cultural phenomena. He hosted Comedy Central's The Root of All Evil and makes regular appearances on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart delivering his "Back in Black" commentary segment. When not on the road performing, he resides in Manhattan and also maintains a residence in Chapel Hill, N.C.
Black was born in Silver Spring, Maryland. He is the son of Jeannette, a teacher, and Sam Black, an artist and mechanical engineer. He was raised in a middle-class Jewish family in Silver Spring, Maryland, graduating from Springbrook High School in 1966, summa cum laude having the highest average of all males in high school. Black claims in his book that he scored highly on the math section of his SAT exam and later applied to Princeton University among others. Black matriculated at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill where he studied playwriting and was a brother of Pi Lambda Phi International fraternity and a member of Student Congress. He earned a Masters in Fine Arts at the Yale School of Drama in 1977.
Originally, his career was in the theater as a playwright. He served as the playwright in residence and associate artistic director of Steve Olsen's West Bank Cafe Downstairs Theatre Bar in Hell's Kitchen in New York City, where he collaborated with composer and lyricist Rusty Magee and artistic director Rand Foerster on hundreds of one-act plays from 1981 to 1989. Also with Rusty Magee, Lewis wrote the musical The Czar Of Rock and Roll, which premiered at Houston's Alley Theatre in 1990.
Black's stand-up comedy began as an opening act for the plays as he was also the master of ceremonies. After a management change at the theater, Black left and began working as a comedian as well as finding bit parts in television and films.
Lewis Black's style of comedy is that of a man who, in dealing with the absurdities of life and contemporary politics, is approaching his personal limits of sanity. Sarcasm, hyperbole, profanity, shouting and trademark angry finger-shaking bring emphasis to his topics of discussion. He once described his humor as "being on the Titanic every single day and being the only person who knows what is going to happen." He claims that he doesn't write his jokes down, he merely starts talking about something that makes him angry until he has to move on before he has a stroke.
Black describes his political affiliation as such: "I'm a socialist, so that puts me totally outside any concept...the Canadians get it. But seriously, most people don't get it. The idea of capping people's income just scares people. 'Oh, you're taking money from the rich.' Ooh, what a horrifying thing. These people really need $200 million".
Black lists his comedic influences as George Carlin, Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, Lily Tomlin, Bob Newhart and Shelley Berman.
In 1998, he starred in his first comedy special on the series Comedy Central Presents. He starred in two additional episodes of the series in 2000 and 2002. He starred in another special for the network in 2002 titled Taxed Beyond Belief.
In 2000, Black and fellow comedian Jim Norton were arrested for their involvement with "The Naked Teen Voyeur Bus", a specially designed bus with acrylic glass walls containing numerous (18 and 19 year old) "teen girls." This bus rode around Manhattan while being broadcast on the "Opie and Anthony" radio show. Unfortunately, radio station management did not inform the O&A show that the bus' route was also the route that President Clinton was taking that same day. Twenty-eight hours after the arrest, Black and Norton were released. Black appeared on The Daily Show the following night where he stated he was exercising his constitutional rights. He then joked that the location of
Black was born in Silver Spring, Maryland. He is the son of Jeannette, a teacher, and Sam Black, an artist and mechanical engineer. He was raised in a middle-class Jewish family in Silver Spring, Maryland, graduating from Springbrook High School in 1966, summa cum laude having the highest average of all males in high school. Black claims in his book that he scored highly on the math section of his SAT exam and later applied to Princeton University among others. Black matriculated at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill where he studied playwriting and was a brother of Pi Lambda Phi International fraternity and a member of Student Congress. He earned a Masters in Fine Arts at the Yale School of Drama in 1977.
Originally, his career was in the theater as a playwright. He served as the playwright in residence and associate artistic director of Steve Olsen's West Bank Cafe Downstairs Theatre Bar in Hell's Kitchen in New York City, where he collaborated with composer and lyricist Rusty Magee and artistic director Rand Foerster on hundreds of one-act plays from 1981 to 1989. Also with Rusty Magee, Lewis wrote the musical The Czar Of Rock and Roll, which premiered at Houston's Alley Theatre in 1990.
Black's stand-up comedy began as an opening act for the plays as he was also the master of ceremonies. After a management change at the theater, Black left and began working as a comedian as well as finding bit parts in television and films.
Lewis Black's style of comedy is that of a man who, in dealing with the absurdities of life and contemporary politics, is approaching his personal limits of sanity. Sarcasm, hyperbole, profanity, shouting and trademark angry finger-shaking bring emphasis to his topics of discussion. He once described his humor as "being on the Titanic every single day and being the only person who knows what is going to happen." He claims that he doesn't write his jokes down, he merely starts talking about something that makes him angry until he has to move on before he has a stroke.
Black describes his political affiliation as such: "I'm a socialist, so that puts me totally outside any concept...the Canadians get it. But seriously, most people don't get it. The idea of capping people's income just scares people. 'Oh, you're taking money from the rich.' Ooh, what a horrifying thing. These people really need $200 million".
Black lists his comedic influences as George Carlin, Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, Lily Tomlin, Bob Newhart and Shelley Berman.
In 1998, he starred in his first comedy special on the series Comedy Central Presents. He starred in two additional episodes of the series in 2000 and 2002. He starred in another special for the network in 2002 titled Taxed Beyond Belief.
In 2000, Black and fellow comedian Jim Norton were arrested for their involvement with "The Naked Teen Voyeur Bus", a specially designed bus with acrylic glass walls containing numerous (18 and 19 year old) "teen girls." This bus rode around Manhattan while being broadcast on the "Opie and Anthony" radio show. Unfortunately, radio station management did not inform the O&A show that the bus' route was also the route that President Clinton was taking that same day. Twenty-eight hours after the arrest, Black and Norton were released. Black appeared on The Daily Show the following night where he stated he was exercising his constitutional rights. He then joked that the location of
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December 26, 2020
“It’s my life, I should be able to keep up with it.”
Lewis Black is not exactly the spirit of Christmas, but sometimes I find him funny, and I appreciate how much he fights against “woke” culture, so I picked up this short text as a bit of holiday fun.
Right off the bat Mr. Black hits at the heart of why a lot of people have a special feeling for the Christmas season. He writes, “As I have grown older… I find myself getting sadder and sadder. Yet the sadness is oddly comforting, as the memories flow in of my brother and the many friends whom I have spent these holiday times with but who are no longer with us. For in the midst of the sense of loss and the tears, these times remembered bring a sense of joy. For some inexplicable reason these memories are conjured up by the Christmas season, though they have nothing to do with the holiday. Go figure.” Christmas is a time for memories, and there are more than a few references in this text about the idea of not being able to spend the season with people who we wish we could be with. It is a sobering thought, and one people should focus on as they get pissy about the dumb things many folks get themselves worked up about. “Christmas may be about the birth of the baby Jesus, but it also makes you think a lot about the people you want to spend time with but can’t anymore.”
The book is full of Black’s trademark rants, and his plethora of swearing (which I could do without and which he freely admits he overuses). There are funny, and thoughtfully accurate, points about cooking verses easting, being a little more generous with those in real need, and some interesting thoughts on relationships and being single and the good/bad aspects of both. And there are a few chuckles along the way.
“I’m Dreaming of a Black Christmas” ends with a nice chapter about the author’s time on a USO Christmas tour for the troops in the Mid-East. It is a pretty selfless ending to a book that at times pretends to be about being selfish.
Lewis Black is not exactly the spirit of Christmas, but sometimes I find him funny, and I appreciate how much he fights against “woke” culture, so I picked up this short text as a bit of holiday fun.
Right off the bat Mr. Black hits at the heart of why a lot of people have a special feeling for the Christmas season. He writes, “As I have grown older… I find myself getting sadder and sadder. Yet the sadness is oddly comforting, as the memories flow in of my brother and the many friends whom I have spent these holiday times with but who are no longer with us. For in the midst of the sense of loss and the tears, these times remembered bring a sense of joy. For some inexplicable reason these memories are conjured up by the Christmas season, though they have nothing to do with the holiday. Go figure.” Christmas is a time for memories, and there are more than a few references in this text about the idea of not being able to spend the season with people who we wish we could be with. It is a sobering thought, and one people should focus on as they get pissy about the dumb things many folks get themselves worked up about. “Christmas may be about the birth of the baby Jesus, but it also makes you think a lot about the people you want to spend time with but can’t anymore.”
The book is full of Black’s trademark rants, and his plethora of swearing (which I could do without and which he freely admits he overuses). There are funny, and thoughtfully accurate, points about cooking verses easting, being a little more generous with those in real need, and some interesting thoughts on relationships and being single and the good/bad aspects of both. And there are a few chuckles along the way.
“I’m Dreaming of a Black Christmas” ends with a nice chapter about the author’s time on a USO Christmas tour for the troops in the Mid-East. It is a pretty selfless ending to a book that at times pretends to be about being selfish.
December 10, 2010
Strangely charming book about what it's like to be a rage-filled Jewish single guy at Christmastime.
"You do get jazzed, though, when you find the absolutely perfect gift for the absolutely right person. Like the time I found a duck-hunting rifle for Dick Cheney."
"The twelve-dollar designer dress shirt. Twelve dollars. How do they do it? Who starved to death to make this possible?"
"There's a show called I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant, or as I like to call it, Jesus Christ, Am I an Idiot or What?
What it's like to play Santa in a movie: "There's also something nice about taking off a fat suit and feeling like you've lost weight, so that your own fat doesn't seem so fatty anymore. It's a thinner fat."
What it's like to play Santa in a TV show and interact with children: "It's bizarre at best to be a middle-aged Jew dressed up as Santa Claus whose job it is to ask a kid what he wants for Christmas, knowing full well you can't deliver the goods. I pretty much felt like the head of FEMA during the Katrina crisis."
"Now people say that bread isn't good for you. When did the geniuses of the world decide that? Where did they hold that meeting? It's bread, for fuck's sake, it's the staff of life. Where are the Bible beaters now? How come they aren't defending bread's right to be eaten?"
"You do get jazzed, though, when you find the absolutely perfect gift for the absolutely right person. Like the time I found a duck-hunting rifle for Dick Cheney."
"The twelve-dollar designer dress shirt. Twelve dollars. How do they do it? Who starved to death to make this possible?"
"There's a show called I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant, or as I like to call it, Jesus Christ, Am I an Idiot or What?
What it's like to play Santa in a movie: "There's also something nice about taking off a fat suit and feeling like you've lost weight, so that your own fat doesn't seem so fatty anymore. It's a thinner fat."
What it's like to play Santa in a TV show and interact with children: "It's bizarre at best to be a middle-aged Jew dressed up as Santa Claus whose job it is to ask a kid what he wants for Christmas, knowing full well you can't deliver the goods. I pretty much felt like the head of FEMA during the Katrina crisis."
"Now people say that bread isn't good for you. When did the geniuses of the world decide that? Where did they hold that meeting? It's bread, for fuck's sake, it's the staff of life. Where are the Bible beaters now? How come they aren't defending bread's right to be eaten?"
February 16, 2026
It’s weird. It’s like hearing my inner dialogue but as a Jewish man. I swear some of this book has come out of my mouth and a huge amount has ranted in my brain while my teeth are firmly clamped to prevent it from making its way out into the world. How the hell did he get in there?! It’s just bizarre. It’s like he and I have experienced a peculiarly similar relationship to children. I think I might be an alternate reality version of Black, but significantly less talented and generous, and also having not been raised Jewish or male.
Seriously, Black is a wonderful observer of life and human nature including his own. What family goes to Costa Rica for Christmas? Rich people are supposed to take their family skiing in Colorado. At least that is what they did when I was a kid.
Black’s talk about donating money to many charities does remind us that we need to remember our own good fortune when others don’t even have a manger to play in.
This is an older recording, pre-Obama era, but it all is still timeless.
Seriously, Black is a wonderful observer of life and human nature including his own. What family goes to Costa Rica for Christmas? Rich people are supposed to take their family skiing in Colorado. At least that is what they did when I was a kid.
Black’s talk about donating money to many charities does remind us that we need to remember our own good fortune when others don’t even have a manger to play in.
This is an older recording, pre-Obama era, but it all is still timeless.
December 28, 2011
Dear Lewis Black,
Despite my rather low rating of this book, please rest assured that am a fan of yours. But not so much a fan of this book.
I thought a book written by an angry Jewish man about Christmas might be enlightening but it just turned out to be kind of annoying. I suppose reading your views on a holiday you were never a part of might be entertaining if you didn't completely misunderstand the point.
Some of us didn't and don't spend our Christmas holiday begrudging our loved ones for 'making' us shop for presents. We didn't and don't all fight the entire time and leave with hurt feelings. Some of us actually had great families and great family memories. Yep, one of the lucky ones right here. We do exist.
The griping wouldn't have been so bad if you didn't phrase your complaints as though they were coming from my mouth. I enjoy a good comedy of errors but not when I'm told that the errors are mine when they aren't.
So you see, while hoping for a funny holiday read with whitty observations all I got was a grumpy grumble fest. I know you warned me. Its not your fault. That's why I gave you two stars instead of one. Well that and the thing about kids and vacation. Ha ha ha ha...kids are the worst.
I'm not writing you off. I'll read another one of your books in the future. Don't worry.
Best Regards,
Felina
P.S. Apologizing for digressing every other page doesn't excuse the digression. Focus, buddy, focus!!
Despite my rather low rating of this book, please rest assured that am a fan of yours. But not so much a fan of this book.
I thought a book written by an angry Jewish man about Christmas might be enlightening but it just turned out to be kind of annoying. I suppose reading your views on a holiday you were never a part of might be entertaining if you didn't completely misunderstand the point.
Some of us didn't and don't spend our Christmas holiday begrudging our loved ones for 'making' us shop for presents. We didn't and don't all fight the entire time and leave with hurt feelings. Some of us actually had great families and great family memories. Yep, one of the lucky ones right here. We do exist.
The griping wouldn't have been so bad if you didn't phrase your complaints as though they were coming from my mouth. I enjoy a good comedy of errors but not when I'm told that the errors are mine when they aren't.
So you see, while hoping for a funny holiday read with whitty observations all I got was a grumpy grumble fest. I know you warned me. Its not your fault. That's why I gave you two stars instead of one. Well that and the thing about kids and vacation. Ha ha ha ha...kids are the worst.
I'm not writing you off. I'll read another one of your books in the future. Don't worry.
Best Regards,
Felina
P.S. Apologizing for digressing every other page doesn't excuse the digression. Focus, buddy, focus!!
December 3, 2020
It’s Lewis Black. You should already know what you’re signing up for when you crack this rantbook open.
It is weird to read about his CSO tour with Robin Williams, Kid Rock and Lance Armstrong, considering what has occurred since 2010 when this book was released. Williams’ suicide, Kid Rock’s political stances and Armstrong’s fall from grace have completely altered how we view those men, and all of it would be perfect fodder for the Black’s dark outlook.
It is weird to read about his CSO tour with Robin Williams, Kid Rock and Lance Armstrong, considering what has occurred since 2010 when this book was released. Williams’ suicide, Kid Rock’s political stances and Armstrong’s fall from grace have completely altered how we view those men, and all of it would be perfect fodder for the Black’s dark outlook.
December 19, 2015
In ‘I’m Dreaming of a Black Christmas’, the author expresses his thoughts on his least favourite holiday – Christmas. With no holds barred, this book is certainly not ideal for those who are sensitive and easily offended.
Despite not agreeing with every thing mentioned by Black, I found the book to be hilariously entertaining from start to finish. Upon reading the introduction in which the author provided insight into how this book came into existence, I could tell that this was going to be a spectacular read. The rest of the chapters delved into several topics such as Christmas (of course), children and their effects on the author’s vacation, family, contemporary society, fashion, the art of gift giving and indulgence.
I enjoyed the author’s observations and honesty as he even stated some things that I’m sure many people actually secretly agree with. There’s also no doubt that the humour was top-notch and unpretentious. Although I liked the incorporation of some personal touch into the book, I found it unnecessary to repeat that he’s single at sixty-one. It was irrelevant and not remotely funny. I was glad that instead of merely whining about being single, the author managed to convey his thoughts in a light-hearted manner.
Overall, ‘I’m Dreaming of a Black Christmas’ is definitely not a conventional Christmas book but it provided a fun reading experience.
Despite not agreeing with every thing mentioned by Black, I found the book to be hilariously entertaining from start to finish. Upon reading the introduction in which the author provided insight into how this book came into existence, I could tell that this was going to be a spectacular read. The rest of the chapters delved into several topics such as Christmas (of course), children and their effects on the author’s vacation, family, contemporary society, fashion, the art of gift giving and indulgence.
I enjoyed the author’s observations and honesty as he even stated some things that I’m sure many people actually secretly agree with. There’s also no doubt that the humour was top-notch and unpretentious. Although I liked the incorporation of some personal touch into the book, I found it unnecessary to repeat that he’s single at sixty-one. It was irrelevant and not remotely funny. I was glad that instead of merely whining about being single, the author managed to convey his thoughts in a light-hearted manner.
Overall, ‘I’m Dreaming of a Black Christmas’ is definitely not a conventional Christmas book but it provided a fun reading experience.
December 23, 2010
First a confession--I LOVE Lewis Black. I love his apoplectic rants on The Daily Show, I love his HBO specials, I love it when he shocks a laugh out of me. So I was the prime candidate for this book. However, I have to point out, as Lewis Black does, if Christmas is your favorite time of year, leave this book on the shelf. Also, if you have a problem with profanity, leave this book on the shelf. However, for the rest of us, this caustic look at the the Christmas holiday can be very funny. Lewis Black is a Jew, as he constantly points out, and so he looks at the Christmas season as an outsider. However, he freely admits that the Christmas season deeply affects him in a myriad of ways. He rants about the shopping frenzy, carols, gift giving, etc. But then on Christmas morning, Black sits at his table and writes checks to a wide variety of charities and then goes to the homes of two different friends and eats two complete Christmas dinners from soup to nuts. One of the best parts of the book is Black's description of his Christmas USO shows for the troops fighting in the war against terror. Obviously, he found the spirit of Christmas while touring in the war zone with Lance Armstrong, Kid Rock, Robin Williams, and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
October 28, 2016
I'm a huge fan of Lewis Black. I listened to this book on Audibles during a recent road trip. It is Black's usual rant on the subject of Christmas from the view point of an angry Jew. It was good and worth listening to, but I like his live stand up better. He hits on all kinds of subjects around the holidays, including dinner with his non-Jewish friends, traveling during the holidays with a USO tour to the Middle East, gift giving and his love of food.
December 5, 2016
An irreverent (what else would you expect from Lewis Black) and somewhat autobiographical story read by Lewis Black himself (so you get all the inflections and emotions). We listened to this on a road trip and it was very good. If you like Lewis Black's comedy, you should love this book/audio book; if you haven't heard Lewis Black before, I caution you as he uses profanity and I would not recommend this for non-adult persons.
December 3, 2021
I'm glad that the Daily Show kept Lewis Black as a semi-regular commentator. I enjoy his angry, New York rants. I saw "I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas" on a display at the library and grabbed it on impulse. I'm not sorry I did, but I'm also glad it was a quick read. His comedic style works much better heard and watched than read. Still, some bits had me laughing out loud on the commuter train.
January 7, 2012
Spend Christmas day with Lewis Black. Just let that sink into your brain for awhile. Anecdotal scenes of Christmas with an angry Jew who has a large heart and a warped mind, thank God.
December 17, 2020
2.5 Stars. Grouchy writer Lewis doesn’t come across as funny as grouchy performer Lewis. The USO closing chapter was the best part though.
November 15, 2010
Let's get one thing clear from the very start: Lewis Black is Jewish. That's right, the man is a Jew. Black points out this very fact during a lunch with his editor when the man starts asking about plans for Black's next book. His editor suggests a Christmas book, since they're all the rage now. Black spouts off his history (Jewish, never celebrated Christmas, etc), only to have his editor pull out the big guns; Glenn Beck wrote a Christmas book. Oh Lord, that's like waving a red flag in front of the proverbial bull.
Let the festivities begin!
The book follows Black and his angst as the holiday approaches; we start at Thanksgiving. Lewis is snug on the beach in a nice foreign locale, only to have his bliss interrupted by a screaming child (and then many screaming children). He rants a bit about the fact that he travels out of the country to escape the familial insanity of Turkey Day, only to have it now intrude upon him; he also complains about people that insist on bringing small children, those really too young to understand/enjoy the trip, on such a foreign holiday. (Couldn't agree with him more, like taking very tiny tots to Disney World - they'll just get scared by the "characters" and tired way too fast - wait until they're at least 5 yrs old or so)
After giving up on his blissful beach bask, Black arrives back in the U.S.A. to the full onslaught of Christmas craziness - the sales, the carols, the crass commercialism, etc. Then the big day itself arrives - Christmas. Lewis travels to two different friends houses for dinner and realizes what the "true" meaning of Christmas is (or should be): love, the love of your family and friends (and no, those two categories are not always interchangeable). Of course he eats way too much, and he doesn't buy presents for the children as he's never sure what to get them (earning him some nasty sighs); he finally piles himself into a cab late in the evening after much good food and even better red wine and takes his bloated self home, only 365-ish days left before he'll have to do it all over again.
This is not your typical holiday fare. It's an irreverent look at a holiday that has been grossly commercialized in our time. But for someone who isn't Christian, who doesn't believe in "the reason for the season", I think Black actually gets it better than most. For example, he goes on a small tirade about the phrase "Merry Christmas", asking when it became such a horrible thing to utter to one another, why it's so offensive to some this time of year. I couldn't agree with him more! I'm not what one would call a person of great faith, but I say "Merry Christmas" to people anyway - and I'm not offended when they say it to me.
Black also reflects very seriously on the idea of family, or rather, his lack of one. He was very briefly married, has never had children (definitely need to read this to get the full scoop), and at this "wonderful" time of the year, he finds himself questioning his life - should he have found someone to spend his life with? Should he have had children (it's too late now, he claims, as he doesn't want to be the "grandpa" watching his kid play ball). Does he donate enough to charity, does he donate to the right charities, and can he donate enough to offset his behavior (drinking, gluttony, etc)? Can a bitter, neurotic, possibly crazy Jew play Santa Claus convincingly? Better yet, should he? There are lots of laughs here, but Black also does some serious reflection on his life, and how we should be living our own.
The book closes with a sort of postscript chapter about Black's invitation to tour with the USO, entertaining our troops in Afghanistan and Iraq. It's a beautiful way to end the book, even though it has nothing to do with Christmas. Yes, Virginia, a Jew really can teach us a lot about the holiday. Pick this up for a break from the saccharine offerings that are usually found in your local bookstore/library during the holiday - you need a good laugh to get you through the season!
Let the festivities begin!
The book follows Black and his angst as the holiday approaches; we start at Thanksgiving. Lewis is snug on the beach in a nice foreign locale, only to have his bliss interrupted by a screaming child (and then many screaming children). He rants a bit about the fact that he travels out of the country to escape the familial insanity of Turkey Day, only to have it now intrude upon him; he also complains about people that insist on bringing small children, those really too young to understand/enjoy the trip, on such a foreign holiday. (Couldn't agree with him more, like taking very tiny tots to Disney World - they'll just get scared by the "characters" and tired way too fast - wait until they're at least 5 yrs old or so)
After giving up on his blissful beach bask, Black arrives back in the U.S.A. to the full onslaught of Christmas craziness - the sales, the carols, the crass commercialism, etc. Then the big day itself arrives - Christmas. Lewis travels to two different friends houses for dinner and realizes what the "true" meaning of Christmas is (or should be): love, the love of your family and friends (and no, those two categories are not always interchangeable). Of course he eats way too much, and he doesn't buy presents for the children as he's never sure what to get them (earning him some nasty sighs); he finally piles himself into a cab late in the evening after much good food and even better red wine and takes his bloated self home, only 365-ish days left before he'll have to do it all over again.
This is not your typical holiday fare. It's an irreverent look at a holiday that has been grossly commercialized in our time. But for someone who isn't Christian, who doesn't believe in "the reason for the season", I think Black actually gets it better than most. For example, he goes on a small tirade about the phrase "Merry Christmas", asking when it became such a horrible thing to utter to one another, why it's so offensive to some this time of year. I couldn't agree with him more! I'm not what one would call a person of great faith, but I say "Merry Christmas" to people anyway - and I'm not offended when they say it to me.
Black also reflects very seriously on the idea of family, or rather, his lack of one. He was very briefly married, has never had children (definitely need to read this to get the full scoop), and at this "wonderful" time of the year, he finds himself questioning his life - should he have found someone to spend his life with? Should he have had children (it's too late now, he claims, as he doesn't want to be the "grandpa" watching his kid play ball). Does he donate enough to charity, does he donate to the right charities, and can he donate enough to offset his behavior (drinking, gluttony, etc)? Can a bitter, neurotic, possibly crazy Jew play Santa Claus convincingly? Better yet, should he? There are lots of laughs here, but Black also does some serious reflection on his life, and how we should be living our own.
The book closes with a sort of postscript chapter about Black's invitation to tour with the USO, entertaining our troops in Afghanistan and Iraq. It's a beautiful way to end the book, even though it has nothing to do with Christmas. Yes, Virginia, a Jew really can teach us a lot about the holiday. Pick this up for a break from the saccharine offerings that are usually found in your local bookstore/library during the holiday - you need a good laugh to get you through the season!
January 4, 2012
Don't get me wrong. I love love FUCKING love Lewis Black. But this book is a waste of time. Even in the intro, Black tells us that he was pretty much bullied in to writing it by his editor and that he has nothing interesting to say about Christmas, let alone write. Most of what he says has very little to do with the holiday as it does with him being single and 60 and the bullshit that comes along with that. I figured, at least, this would be the Lew I know, with him spouting off at the Christians of the world and their absurd religious holidays, but no. Lew literally bounces off the walls, talking about anything and everything whether they actually pertain to the story or not, and playing it safe, WAY too safe by Lew's standards, especially when you consider how amazing this could have been if it was something he actually wanted to write about in the first place. Then it all ends abruptly with a short chapter, probably the only truly entertaining one in the book, on his time in the Middle East, performing for soldiers over the Christmas holidays. Unfortunately, Black remembers almost NOTHING of his time there.
January 27, 2011
i've never been able to watch louis black's routines because, even though i agree with him for the most part as far as politics and human stupidity go (is that overkill because they are one and the same?), he screams too damn much. i mean, seriously, like too much. you feel the spittle flying even on the other side of a television screen. so it turns out a book is perhaps a better forum for him, at least when i am his audience. 'black christmas' takes you through one christmas day with louis black, who though he is jewish cannot escape the pull of christmas. not that he loves christmas, but that it affects him inordinately, and in strange ways. the book is one big aside, and far more personal than i was expecting from a comedian who seems so brash. christmas makes him reconsider his life's path, and wish for a family, and stress out, and eat too much. he is his own biggest critic, as well as everyone elses, and the book was entertaining, at times touching, and generally a good read. serious fans of his might appreciate it more, as it's basically a memoir.
December 15, 2023
As a long-time fan of Lewis Black, this book was exactly what I expected. Lewis' wit, sarcasm, rage, and humor offers a look at Christmas that can only come from him. Join Lewis as he goes through his Christmas day and learn some of his personal history that haunts him during the Christmas season. Yes, this book is not 100% humor. You'll get some insight into Lewis' past that has shaped his life. It is powerful and very human.
I was extremely surprised to get super emotional (almost started sobbing) at the very end of the book. I don't want to spoil it, so you'll need to check out the book to learn why.
I was extremely surprised to get super emotional (almost started sobbing) at the very end of the book. I don't want to spoil it, so you'll need to check out the book to learn why.
December 20, 2016
I should preface by saying that I don't hate Lewis Black; I actually agree with him on most topics. He's just not a comedian to me or for me. That said, while I appreciate the topics Black discusses in this book, I don't know if I appreciate that he and his publisher tried to pass it off as a Christmas book. It takes Black two-thirds of the book to reach his first friend for Christmas dinner because he spends most of the book diverting into topics that really have nothing to do with the season.
December 18, 2020
I think the first half was more laugh-out-loud-while-listening funnier than the latter half, but that’s still okay. I’m certain this book was so enjoyable because I listened to Lewis Black read it himself with all his anger and swears. I did not find it offensive at all and found myself nodding in agreement much of the time. He is so self-effacing, it’s hard to be upset with him. His philosophical musings during the Christmas season as a Jew were fantastic. Very well done and enjoyable. He is indeed very funny and (I think) a good, insightful person.
January 2, 2012
I like Lewis Black, and I was hoping for a humorous angry Jew's take on Christmas, but instead it was kind of depressing. There are funny moments, but it is more of a look at his life, and where he is in his life than a look at Christmas. Christmas is just the part that gets him to look at his family and family traditions. It is not a bad book at all, but just not what I expected at all.
December 26, 2022
Highly recommend listening to the audiobook version. Nothing compares to Black letting out a "fuck" in the most creative way you have ever heard in a sentence.
This was an enjoyable book, but where Black really shines is his telling of his time on a USO tour in Iraq and Afghanistan.
I think this will be added to my "must listens" around the holiday season for years to come.
This was an enjoyable book, but where Black really shines is his telling of his time on a USO tour in Iraq and Afghanistan.
I think this will be added to my "must listens" around the holiday season for years to come.
January 3, 2020
A fun, witty, insightful and politically incorrect read that I enjoyed finishiing right on Xmas day
December 15, 2016
First read 12/12/11 to 12/16/11
February 4, 2012
Enjoyable writing by one of my favorite comics, someone who has described his life as everyday living on the Titanic, knowing what's going to happen.
March 7, 2012
Complete crap.
December 22, 2013
Obvious, boring.
December 19, 2016
Funniest thing Lewis Black said: "Tofu is the lamest excuse to chew."
December 9, 2019
Fun read
After reading Mr Black's book I want to read his others. His deadpan humor has me laughing and chuckling. Have fun.
After reading Mr Black's book I want to read his others. His deadpan humor has me laughing and chuckling. Have fun.
February 5, 2025
Lewis Black is always good for a laugh!
January 8, 2024
A JEWISH COMEDIAN LOOKS CRITICALLY AT CHRISTMAS
Author and comedian Lewis Black wrote in the Introduction to this 2010 book, “No, your eyes are not deceiving you. This is a book about Christmas (or the ‘holiday season,’ if you’re deranged enough to have to call it that) … written by your old friend, the essence of the Christmas Spirit, Mr. Mirth himself, me. How did this come to pass?... every memorable Christmas story has its begininings in the yearnings of the heart. Not mine, of course. But somebody else’s… I was having lunch with my editor [who suggested that Black write a book about Christmas], ‘Are you out of your f-----g mind? A Christmas book based on the memories I don’t have of it, because, lest you forget, I am a Jew… What makes you think I should write a book about Christmas?’ ‘You’ve been Santa twice. They asked you to play Scrooge in a huge production of “A Christmas Carol.’” (Pg. 4-5)
He explains, “I want you to know that for those of you who have a deep attachment to the season that runs from Thanksgiving to Christmas, or an emotional connection to stores that sell Christmas stuff all year round, don’t read this book…. Books that make you s—t fruitcakes and gingerbread men and eggnog and holly are everywhere… This book has nothing to do with you, or with those of you for whom this holiday is one of the cornerstones you rest your life on… You won’t laugh. And you’ll end up hating me. I don’t need that. This book is really for the rest of us.” (Pg. 9)
He asserts, “I am A JEW. I may have been brought into Christian households to celebrate the festivities, but I am not part of them. Christians don’t seem to get it why we Jews don’t just embrace Christmas. Well, it’s because WE DON’T BUY THE STORY! We don’t believe a special infant was born and that he was the Son of God, and that story is the reason all of you Christians aren’t Jews. So we are a little put off by all of the hoopla, which is perfectly understandable when you people do it, but it still makes us cringe a little.” (Pg. 17-18)
He acknowledges, “I admit that there is something magical about a Christmas tree all dazzled up in lights. It’s almost as breathtaking as a hooker gone wild in spangles. It gets to me. Maybe it’s just that having a Christmas tree makes a living room just a little cozier. But I think it goes deeper than that. Maybe it’s the sense of rebirth that the lights give to a very dead (or very artificial) tree. In the midst of winter…these glittering reminders of holiday cheer can be downright comforting. I have to say, the same can be said about a hooker.” (Pg. 35-36)
He recounts, “I’ve always been impressed by the way you Christians pour it on at Christmas… At Chanukah we get nothing. At my house we got socks, and they were irregulars, which figures. It’s supposed to be the Festival of Lights, but it wasn’t really that festive, not compared to how you Christians carry on. Let’s face it, eight little candles do not a spectacular light show make.” (Pg. 51)
He clarifies, “Once and for all, I DO NOT WANT TO DO AWAY WITH CHRISTMAS. I am not the f-----g Grinch. I would just like it to be more user friendly. I just think it would be nice if we could share some of our bounty with those less fortunate during this holiday season. Is that so crazy a request?” (Pg. 76-77)
He observes, “Since practically every cabdriver in New York seems to have little or no interest in the baby Jesus---yes, I surveyed them… the streets on Christmas Day are choked with empty cabs… There’s no one on the streets but smiling Hindus, Moslems and Buddhists, Jews, atheists, agnostics, Satanists and Wiccans, free from any form of persecution from the Christian masses, who are huddled around their holiday tree, knocking back the eggnog and listening to Bing Crosby sing ‘White Christmas.’” (Pg. 89)
Of the debate over saying ‘Happy Holidays’ rather than ‘Merry Christmas,’ he argues, “We’re awash in a series of problems that make this the most crippling decade I’ve lived through… We’ve spent ten years bleeding ourselves dry as we fought extraneous wars that had nothing to do with reality, let our nation’s infrastructure and educational systems rot and crumble, bloated our health care system until it’s beyond repair and our economy has barely survived greed of epic proportions. So in the midst of all of this, we feel the urge to argue over the use of the word ‘Christmas’ at Christmastime? ARE WE TOTALLY … INSANE?” (Pg. 102)
He concludes, “I realize I have given myself the best Christmas gift I could: The ability to live life on my own terms.” (Pg. 149)
This book will appeal to people looking for critical/cynical perspectives on Christmas.
Author and comedian Lewis Black wrote in the Introduction to this 2010 book, “No, your eyes are not deceiving you. This is a book about Christmas (or the ‘holiday season,’ if you’re deranged enough to have to call it that) … written by your old friend, the essence of the Christmas Spirit, Mr. Mirth himself, me. How did this come to pass?... every memorable Christmas story has its begininings in the yearnings of the heart. Not mine, of course. But somebody else’s… I was having lunch with my editor [who suggested that Black write a book about Christmas], ‘Are you out of your f-----g mind? A Christmas book based on the memories I don’t have of it, because, lest you forget, I am a Jew… What makes you think I should write a book about Christmas?’ ‘You’ve been Santa twice. They asked you to play Scrooge in a huge production of “A Christmas Carol.’” (Pg. 4-5)
He explains, “I want you to know that for those of you who have a deep attachment to the season that runs from Thanksgiving to Christmas, or an emotional connection to stores that sell Christmas stuff all year round, don’t read this book…. Books that make you s—t fruitcakes and gingerbread men and eggnog and holly are everywhere… This book has nothing to do with you, or with those of you for whom this holiday is one of the cornerstones you rest your life on… You won’t laugh. And you’ll end up hating me. I don’t need that. This book is really for the rest of us.” (Pg. 9)
He asserts, “I am A JEW. I may have been brought into Christian households to celebrate the festivities, but I am not part of them. Christians don’t seem to get it why we Jews don’t just embrace Christmas. Well, it’s because WE DON’T BUY THE STORY! We don’t believe a special infant was born and that he was the Son of God, and that story is the reason all of you Christians aren’t Jews. So we are a little put off by all of the hoopla, which is perfectly understandable when you people do it, but it still makes us cringe a little.” (Pg. 17-18)
He acknowledges, “I admit that there is something magical about a Christmas tree all dazzled up in lights. It’s almost as breathtaking as a hooker gone wild in spangles. It gets to me. Maybe it’s just that having a Christmas tree makes a living room just a little cozier. But I think it goes deeper than that. Maybe it’s the sense of rebirth that the lights give to a very dead (or very artificial) tree. In the midst of winter…these glittering reminders of holiday cheer can be downright comforting. I have to say, the same can be said about a hooker.” (Pg. 35-36)
He recounts, “I’ve always been impressed by the way you Christians pour it on at Christmas… At Chanukah we get nothing. At my house we got socks, and they were irregulars, which figures. It’s supposed to be the Festival of Lights, but it wasn’t really that festive, not compared to how you Christians carry on. Let’s face it, eight little candles do not a spectacular light show make.” (Pg. 51)
He clarifies, “Once and for all, I DO NOT WANT TO DO AWAY WITH CHRISTMAS. I am not the f-----g Grinch. I would just like it to be more user friendly. I just think it would be nice if we could share some of our bounty with those less fortunate during this holiday season. Is that so crazy a request?” (Pg. 76-77)
He observes, “Since practically every cabdriver in New York seems to have little or no interest in the baby Jesus---yes, I surveyed them… the streets on Christmas Day are choked with empty cabs… There’s no one on the streets but smiling Hindus, Moslems and Buddhists, Jews, atheists, agnostics, Satanists and Wiccans, free from any form of persecution from the Christian masses, who are huddled around their holiday tree, knocking back the eggnog and listening to Bing Crosby sing ‘White Christmas.’” (Pg. 89)
Of the debate over saying ‘Happy Holidays’ rather than ‘Merry Christmas,’ he argues, “We’re awash in a series of problems that make this the most crippling decade I’ve lived through… We’ve spent ten years bleeding ourselves dry as we fought extraneous wars that had nothing to do with reality, let our nation’s infrastructure and educational systems rot and crumble, bloated our health care system until it’s beyond repair and our economy has barely survived greed of epic proportions. So in the midst of all of this, we feel the urge to argue over the use of the word ‘Christmas’ at Christmastime? ARE WE TOTALLY … INSANE?” (Pg. 102)
He concludes, “I realize I have given myself the best Christmas gift I could: The ability to live life on my own terms.” (Pg. 149)
This book will appeal to people looking for critical/cynical perspectives on Christmas.
April 7, 2023
RICK “SHAQ” GOLDSTEIN SAYS: “**KVETCHING** THROUGH CHRISTMAS!
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Lewis Black, famed, Jewish comedian shares his personal turmoil during the Christmas holidays. The only reason I mention his Judaism, is because as he whines… or as members of “our” Hebrew flock would say… he never stops “KVETCHING”… he constantly throws up as a defense mechanism as he moans about Christmas… Hey! I’m Jewish! (Or a shorter version which I’ve found if I use it Amazon doesn’t print my reviews.) Black’s main inner turmoil is his lack of family. The fact that he isn’t married and even more important has no children. But the author’s resolution in his very soul on this theme never seems to be completely settled. When Lewis starts off bemoaning his lack of Fatherhood and matrimonial bliss… in the very next breath he’s complaining quite strongly about children ruining his Thanksgiving tropical vacation that he takes each year with a married couple friend of his.
As Christmas Day itself is rapidly approaching, Lewis in anticipation of attending two different close friends’ lavish Christmas Day meals, he once again faces (and shares with the reader) his personal dichotomy. These couples are so happy and have great families… I can’t wait to go… yet I’ll stand out as being single… etc. Then the reader is dragged through other disconcerting minutia that weighs down poor, single, Fatherless, Jewish, Lewis, on this wonderful gentile holiday. What should I wear? Where do I buy my clothes? Where did I used to buy my clothes? I’m fat and look pregnant. In a flashback… perhaps the saddest “actual” fact in Black’s life… especially with the overall internal battle he’s waging between family and no family for all eternity… is the fact that years ago he had been married to a woman who told him she was pregnant with his child. It turns out the child wasn’t his and he got divorced.
In a great parenthetical summary to himself… with a jab to his own ribs… he explains how he could still fill his largest void… even though he is now sixty-one-years-old… but there would be a price to pay. “YOU CAN DO IT. YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE ALONE. ALL YOU’VE GOT TO DO, LEWIS, IS FALL IN LOVE, GET MARRIED, AND HAVE A CHILD, SO BY THE TIME YOU’RE SEVENTY-FIVE YOU CAN PLAY CATCH WITH HIM. SO THAT WHEN YOU MISS THE KID’S FASTBALL AND IT DRILLS INTO YOUR CHEST, CRUSHING YOUR STERNUM AND THROWING YOU AGAINST THE METAL PATIO FURNITURE, SHATTERING YOUR PELVIS, YOU CAN DIE HAPPILY, CONTENT IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT YOU WERE A FAMILY MAN. NO THANKS.”
The contradictions that haunt Black’s lifelong dreams and desires are crystallized in many ways… such as looking forward to attend his two friend’s Christmas parties and over indulging in fantastic food and drink… and without blinking an eye… stating emphatically that he won’t bring their kids any gifts no matter how much hatred will be in their little faces and comments. And then right from those comments he waxes poetically about the checks he makes out to numerous charities. These inconsistencies are what the whole book is about… other than the last approximately twenty pages where he describes his being involved in the USO’s holiday tours to entertain our troops.
Perhaps his most unflinching statement in the entire books is: “PEOPLE ALWAYS SAY THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON, UNTIL THEY DISAGREE WITH THE REASON IT HAPPENED.”
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Lewis Black, famed, Jewish comedian shares his personal turmoil during the Christmas holidays. The only reason I mention his Judaism, is because as he whines… or as members of “our” Hebrew flock would say… he never stops “KVETCHING”… he constantly throws up as a defense mechanism as he moans about Christmas… Hey! I’m Jewish! (Or a shorter version which I’ve found if I use it Amazon doesn’t print my reviews.) Black’s main inner turmoil is his lack of family. The fact that he isn’t married and even more important has no children. But the author’s resolution in his very soul on this theme never seems to be completely settled. When Lewis starts off bemoaning his lack of Fatherhood and matrimonial bliss… in the very next breath he’s complaining quite strongly about children ruining his Thanksgiving tropical vacation that he takes each year with a married couple friend of his.
As Christmas Day itself is rapidly approaching, Lewis in anticipation of attending two different close friends’ lavish Christmas Day meals, he once again faces (and shares with the reader) his personal dichotomy. These couples are so happy and have great families… I can’t wait to go… yet I’ll stand out as being single… etc. Then the reader is dragged through other disconcerting minutia that weighs down poor, single, Fatherless, Jewish, Lewis, on this wonderful gentile holiday. What should I wear? Where do I buy my clothes? Where did I used to buy my clothes? I’m fat and look pregnant. In a flashback… perhaps the saddest “actual” fact in Black’s life… especially with the overall internal battle he’s waging between family and no family for all eternity… is the fact that years ago he had been married to a woman who told him she was pregnant with his child. It turns out the child wasn’t his and he got divorced.
In a great parenthetical summary to himself… with a jab to his own ribs… he explains how he could still fill his largest void… even though he is now sixty-one-years-old… but there would be a price to pay. “YOU CAN DO IT. YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE ALONE. ALL YOU’VE GOT TO DO, LEWIS, IS FALL IN LOVE, GET MARRIED, AND HAVE A CHILD, SO BY THE TIME YOU’RE SEVENTY-FIVE YOU CAN PLAY CATCH WITH HIM. SO THAT WHEN YOU MISS THE KID’S FASTBALL AND IT DRILLS INTO YOUR CHEST, CRUSHING YOUR STERNUM AND THROWING YOU AGAINST THE METAL PATIO FURNITURE, SHATTERING YOUR PELVIS, YOU CAN DIE HAPPILY, CONTENT IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT YOU WERE A FAMILY MAN. NO THANKS.”
The contradictions that haunt Black’s lifelong dreams and desires are crystallized in many ways… such as looking forward to attend his two friend’s Christmas parties and over indulging in fantastic food and drink… and without blinking an eye… stating emphatically that he won’t bring their kids any gifts no matter how much hatred will be in their little faces and comments. And then right from those comments he waxes poetically about the checks he makes out to numerous charities. These inconsistencies are what the whole book is about… other than the last approximately twenty pages where he describes his being involved in the USO’s holiday tours to entertain our troops.
Perhaps his most unflinching statement in the entire books is: “PEOPLE ALWAYS SAY THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON, UNTIL THEY DISAGREE WITH THE REASON IT HAPPENED.”
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