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Assholes Finish First (Tucker Max, #2)
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Assholes Finish First

(Tucker Max #2)

by
3.64  ·  Rating details ·  23,292 ratings  ·  801 reviews
From the Tucker Max website:

What do you do when you've become rich and famous for writing a #1 best-selling book about your drunken, sexual misadventures? I'll tell you what I do: I write another fucking book.

This is that book. Assholes Finish First is hilarious in ways you will recognize from I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, and in other, newer ways you won't. Of course i
...more
Hardcover, 404 pages
Published September 28th 2010 by Gallery Books (first published February 1st 2008)
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Average rating 3.64  · 
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 ·  23,292 ratings  ·  801 reviews


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Lindsay
Sep 28, 2010 rated it did not like it
Shelves: 2010, ebooks
The second book just makes Tucker seem like a one-trick pony. While his first was pretty damn hilarious, AFF is just a pitiful look at a middle-aged douche who doesn't quite know how to grow up. While Tucker IS a filthy pig, I feel less disgusted by him than by the hundreds of gutter skanks who have willingly and stupidly chosen to be his cum dumpster. Tucker, for the love of god just stop with the filthy hookers. A little more funny and a lot less about vaginas, please.
David
Nov 01, 2010 rated it did not like it
Trees died for this? Without question, this is the worst book I've ever read and, if even ten percent of what Max writes about is true, he is one of the worst human beings. I finished this piece of crap only due to the same fascination with which people view an automobile crash.

There is no - repeat no - redeeming social value here. Take a pass on this one, folks.
Holly
Oct 23, 2010 rated it it was amazing
If you know me then you know I am a truly good person who doesn't break the law or do drugs. I am not promiscuous, and I don't drink a lot.


Having said all that I love Tucker Max. He is irreverent and honest. Yes, he is that smart and if he were to use his powers for good the world would be a better place but far less interesting. He probably wouldn't even like me because let's face it I don't fit his ideal girl and I'm not a guy. That's fine I don't want to sleep with him or hang with him. I ju
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Kelly
Jan 09, 2011 rated it really liked it
You know what's worse than all the haters dogging out Tucker Max for being a self-proclaimed misogynist skank who gets more action than a toilet seat? It's all the women he sleeps with because of said attitude. Even though I'm sure his stories are exaggerated, I have no doubt that a good portion is true. And you know what else? They're hilarious!! I mean c'mon:

“The baby starts crying. The mom looks worried. I offer to help her make the baby stop. Stydie is skeptical, “Tucker, do you even know w
...more
Jen
Dec 16, 2011 rated it did not like it
Shelves: didn-t-finish-it
Shame on this publisher for capitalizing on the bigoted, misogynistic, exaggerated rants of this psuedo story-teller MAN-CHILD.

I really wanted to laugh along with his antics, but by 50 pages in, I was too disgusted with his lack of humanity and immaturity to continue. If his aim was to offend, he succeeded. As I flipped through the rest of the book, I realized that it was just a few hundred more pages of the same without any redeeming chapters that might prove he has a thoughtful reflection in
...more
Mack
Jan 04, 2011 rated it did not like it
I saw this in the airport and was sucked in my the title. The title is far more literal than you can possibly imagine, although besides wealth, there is nothing "first" about this repugnant prick, except "first hardcover book I'll ever rip up and toss." I won't even recycle it, because the pages could never be bleached enough to eliminate the stench of pathetic tool the weeps from every line.

I am less of a person after reading this trash. I'm ashamed that I gave this douchebag money. He is the
...more
Eric
Dec 12, 2011 rated it did not like it
I picked this up at the airport because I needed some light reading and was in a rush. I couldn't imagine that someone would publish such drivel, so I was expecting irreverence and debauchery with maybe a little something to make it interesting. I was expecting maybe a modern day, lightweight Bukowski.

What I got was party tales of a frat boy (though I'm not sure if he was actually in a fraternity) and heaping helpings of drunken debauchery, but nothing that was actually interesting or funny enou
...more
Dave
Mar 28, 2011 rated it really liked it
I'm rating this 4 stars merely because of its genre. Tucker Max made me laugh, inappropriately throughout the entirety of the book, and I must say, for a completely arrogant, entirely narcissistic individual, he is incredibly gifted with intelligence, wit, and literary prowess. It's almost as if he were accidentally blessed.
Rainy
Oct 19, 2011 rated it did not like it
Tucker Max is the kind of guy that no father wants his daughter to meet. Ever. He shows no respect for human beings and is very condescending towards everything. That shouldn't come as a surprise, considering this guy is writing about all the sexcapades he's had during the years. Sadly enough, one would think that even guys like him would eventually grow up and mature. Not Tucker Max. He's the epitome of a predator. Taking advantage of girls when they're drunk and even soliciting sex on his webs ...more
thewestchestarian
Apr 18, 2011 rated it it was ok
Diary of a bully kid. School bullies quite often grow up to get their JD’s from sports-crazed frat schools like Duke University in North Carolina. Less often do such law school graduates forgo the fat paychecks from corporate law for the publish-or-more-likely-perish world of professional writing. This differentiation separates Tucker Max from the herd of the perhaps millions of men who pursue the hedonistic pleasures without personal responsibility that Max so enthusiastically relishes in. One ...more
Stewart Sternberg
Feb 23, 2020 rated it did not like it
I'm sorry. Yes, I read his first book. Yes, I laughed at that, and I laughed at this one. Yes, he's an asshole. He's a misogynistic S. O. B. If Supreme Court Justice Kavanaugh has a spiritual avatar, it's Tucker Max.
Catherine
Dec 23, 2011 rated it did not like it
Shelves: not-finished
I wish I could give it 1 1/2 stars, because I did laugh a couple of times (especially the first chapter, assuming it was true). There I was at B&N, doing last minute shopping, and the title sucked me in. The first couple of pages amused me. Anyone who has been to the B&N in Seattle knows the first floor is below street level and phone service stinks. There was no way to do a quick check of reviews or to Google the author. Had I done so...

At first, Tucker Max reminds me of guys I used to hang ou
...more
Brandy
Nov 01, 2010 rated it really liked it
Wow, this book was hard for me to rate. If I rated it on how much I like Tucker Max as a person, he would get a big fat ZERO stars. However, if I'm honest, the book is hilarious, albeit disgusting, chauvinistic, and many more negative adjectives. Tucker obviously thinks much higher than he ever should, and gets big laughs out of making others feel like crap. On another note, who am I too look down on him too much when I am laughing out loud while reading some of his exploits?
To be honest, I thin
...more
Stewart Tame
Mar 29, 2013 rated it it was amazing
So Tucker Max is, among other things, a self-described asshole. He's been called worse, I'm sure, and he helpfully provides a great deal of evidence to support such a descriptor. As with his first book, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, this is a collection of personal anecdotes, all of them involving drinking and/or sex in some way. I can't say that I condone the Tucker Max lifestyle as presented in this book, nor do I think he should be a role model or anything. But, man, this shit is entertaini ...more
Michelle
Nov 03, 2010 rated it liked it
Not as mortifying/horrifying as I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell and therefore, not as enjoyable. However, I still let out audible gasps at parts and laughed out loud, so I'm not asking for those hours of my life back.

More of the "real" Tucker Max is exposed - he is no longer a one-dimensional, drunk, sex enthusiast. He writes about two relationships and how one day he wishes to get married and have kids. I found myself turned off by all this information. Part of the charm of IHTSBIH was his unap
...more
Huma Rashid
Jul 19, 2011 rated it liked it
Tucker Max is a very American author. And I mean that as a way to explain why he is so famous. (Despite the fact that I had never heard of him until I saw the trailer for his movie starring Logan from Gilmore Girls, and even then I had no idea who he was and never bothered to find out, until I saw "I Hope They Serve Beer In Heaven" on the floor in front of my friend Lily's bookshelf in the new apartment she was moving into in the UP, and had an aneurysm and read it.)

Tucker Max is pretty amusing.
...more
Peter Knox
Sep 30, 2010 rated it it was ok
A far cry from the writing and stories that made him famous in the first place, there are only 2 really original laughoutloud stories, with the rest being either rehashed reprintings or lazy compilations of paragraph bad jokes or anecdotes without context. You can miss this one.
Mark
Nov 04, 2010 rated it really liked it
I enjoyed this. Though maybe not as funny as his first, I still laughed, and it kept me turning pages. I would recommend Tucker Max's first 2 books to anyone along with another fun book, Permanent Obscurity by Richard Perez.
Mike
Jan 12, 2012 rated it liked it
Tucker Max: the Homeric Hero.

I'm not too high-falutin' to admit it: I've been known to pick up an enjoy a Tucker Max book from time to time, and last night I finished his latest, Assholes Finish First. The short review: love him or hate him, the man knows how to tell a story, and he's got a knack for a turn of phrase (one of my favs from the book: he has sex with a thin woman and says it was "like falling into a pile of brooms"), and, as with any bar room flirt, there seems refreshing solidity t
...more
M
Aug 24, 2013 rated it it was ok
This is the second book I read by Tucker Max. The guy is a a complete womanizing asshole who writes "funny" stories about what happens in his life, mostly about sex with random sluts. He's a jerk to everyone, he made a poor drunken college girl pay for a whole new bed for him when she accidentally peed in it (sorry buddy, I would have told you to fuck off and consider it a risk of bringing the drunk girl into your bed and to write it off as a business expense since he put it in the book later), ...more
Mark Muckerman
Jan 09, 2012 rated it it was ok
Sadly, where I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell was a funny compliation of truly hysterical, and well told stories of the drunken misadventures of Tucker & Co, with humorous interludes detailing Tucker's "unique style of transient romance", Assholes Finish First is a disappointing follow up. Far less a compilation of sponteaneous antics and drunken shennanigans, AFF comes across as much more Tucker's narcisstic homage to the self, wrapped in tales of disposable conquests, which, from anyone else wou ...more
Raven R. (AvalonReadsBooks)
This man is a dog.

I am honestly surprised the people police haven't dropped out of the sky and kicked his ass straight back to hell with the other demons and the other cardinal sins (I'm pretty sure he's lust).

This was not funny. Seriously. The first book was hilarious. He was a dog then but it was entertaining. It was a learning thing for me. Don't trust guys, to some degree they're all like him. This book was a fucking disaster. It was like he was trying to prove that he's a horrible fucking
...more
Rhett Reisman
Feb 21, 2018 rated it liked it
Shelves: comedy
Honestly wasn’t expecting much from this book. I’ve heard from others that the later Tucker Max books don’t live up to the first.

Is Tucker an asshole that makes you feel really bad for some of these other people? Yes
Is the book mostly the same as the first? Yes
Is the book funny? If you have a certain sense of humor.

The first half of this book was repetitive if you’ve read his first book. The second half is a small change of pace and deals with how his life has changed since writing the first
...more
The Quintanilla
Jun 17, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Hands down, this book is a blast. Of course it's not for everyone. You're either going to love it or absolutely hate it. If you're a feminist or some what of a feminist, run the opposite direction of this book, for it will probably and most likely offend you.

Now, I don't drink at all.. or party.. or sleep-around.. nor do I find these things enjoyable but Tucker Max is such a swell writer that his stories (all involving those three things) just sucked me right-in. His life-style and way-of-think
...more
Corey
Sep 13, 2010 rated it liked it
Shelves: humor
After a brief discussion with Doug, the book as a whole was 'alright'. I found most of the first half funny. The majority of "Post-Fame Sex Stories" wasn't anything great. The fact that I can recall about ten stories from Beer in Hell and about five from AFF (Assholes Finish First) should tell you something. I know I hyped this book up for many of you... sorry. I tend to think books (and movies) are better than they really are immediately after reading them. It takes a couple of days for it to a ...more
Rohit Raut
Nov 02, 2010 rated it really liked it
Shelves: reviewed, favorites
If you've Read Tucker Max before, you know what to expect. If you haven't, Tucker Max is

- Violently offensive
- A complete tool
- Bowel-looseningly hilarious.

This book is like all of Tucker's writing. If you are a prude, you won't get through the first 20 pages. If you aren't, you still might not get through them. The contents might make you scream, shout, and repulse you completely.

But I'll be damned if this is just not completely hilarious.

To get a taste of what to expect, visit TuckerMax.com. I
...more
Halik
Jan 16, 2011 rated it did not like it
Shelves: non-fiction, humour, bad
Quite disappointing. The book is full of the author's stories about drinking too much and having so much sex he could have accounted for half the US population had he not been using contraceptives. Max is moronic, myopic and wouldn't know metaphysics if it went up his digestive tract and sat festering in his mouth for week. I actually read through quarter of the book before i started skimming. The stories are meant to be funny but barely hit the smile cracking point. All you are left with is an ...more
Jennifer
May 06, 2011 rated it liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
The Good: Tucker Max has grown up. A little. Enough that he's sort of over constant random sex and debauchery. This is what makes Assholes Finish First readable. In his previous book, Max was a grating little boy enthralled with his own penis. At least in some of these stories, he's matured enough to realize the ridiculousness he perpetrates isn't always hilarious.

The Bad: Max is still a jerk. He continues to mock women, a large part of what made him famous in the first place. It's expected, but
...more
Lindsay
Dec 21, 2011 rated it did not like it
I'll admit- the first book he wrote was pretty funny. Mostly because Tucker Max shocked readers with his blatant disregard for any type of human decency. I felt that this second book took things a little too far. Its one thing to be a moronic ass as a freshman in college far from the town and parents you grew up with, but to continue to act like that intro adulthood is obnoxious.

I was completely turned off by this book and the stories in it. I laughed once or twice, but mostly the stories were
...more
Ashley
I'm ashamed to admit that I read this thing in four hours flat in a bookstore, and did so while ignoring crippling, nausea-inducing hunger pains which forced me to consume large amounts of food afterwards in a very short amount of time and then pass out. Also, I feel dirty.

I refuse to rate this book, because I refuse to rate Tucker Max as a human being, but I couldn't put his stupid fucking book down. I feel ashamed and guilty. I should be punished.
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Tucker Max's first book I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, is a #1 New York Times Best Seller, spent five years on the list, and has over 2 million copies in print. His second book, Assholes Finish First, and his third book, Hilarity Ensues, are also NY Times Best Sellers. He co-wrote and produced the movie based on his life/book, also titled “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell.” He has also been credite ...more

Other books in the series

Tucker Max (4 books)
  • I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell (Tucker Max, #1)
  • Hilarity Ensues (Tucker Max, #3)
  • Sloppy Seconds: The Tucker Max Leftovers

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