Kelly's Reviews > Assholes Finish First

Assholes Finish First by Tucker Max
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Jan 09, 2011

really liked it
bookshelves: beach-book, essays, humor, kindle, memoirs, narcissistic, oh-the-shame
Read in January, 2011

You know what's worse than all the haters dogging out Tucker Max for being a self-proclaimed misogynist skank who gets more action than a toilet seat? It's all the women he sleeps with because of said attitude. Even though I'm sure his stories are exaggerated, I have no doubt that a good portion is true. And you know what else? They're hilarious!! I mean c'mon:

“The baby starts crying. The mom looks worried. I offer to help her make the baby stop. Stydie is skeptical, “Tucker, do you even know what to do with a crying baby?” I scoff, “Of course I do. You put it in a trash can.”

That's gold right there! And ladies, don't listen to the other reviewers; you shouldn't feel guilty because his material is offensive to women. Honestly, no one's safe and that's exactly why it's so fun. I leave you with this gem:

“New Yorkers think they’re so jaded that it’s impossible to shock them. They think they’ve seen and heard it all, and that may be mostly true. But I can tell you from experience that, at 2am in Midtown, pretty much every person on the street will stop and gawk when they see a guy holding hands with one midget, and another midget on his shoulders yelling out:

AT Midget “WHO RUN BARTERTOWN? I RUN BARTERTOWN!”


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Comments (showing 1-7 of 7) (7 new)

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Ayhan Luck I do not think any woman with self-respect, self-work, self-esteem, strong personality and the ability of EMPATHY can enjoy his books.


message 2: by Kelly (last edited May 17, 2011 10:16AM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

Kelly Colouroflife wrote: "I do not think any woman with self-respect, self-work, self-esteem, strong personality and the ability of EMPATHY can enjoy his books."

And yet, you still read it. Isn't that kind of like a sinner calling out another for enjoying the taste of depravity you just consumed?


Ayhan Luck No, of course i read it, otherwise how can i know what kind of book it is? To read it is one thing but to enjoy it another, therefore your suggestion is a bit off track and inaccurate. Oh, i have to say that i am not a female.


message 4: by Kelly (last edited May 17, 2011 11:14AM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

Kelly My question is completely accurate and on track. Maybe re-read it again. I'll wait....

All done? Good. Now, why did you pick it up? Surely you read the synopsis as well as the blurbs on the back and inside cover and realized this was possibly a book you would not approve of. Why buy it? And why further it's marketing by coming on to this site and bothering me about your feelings on it? As you could see from my review we don't agree, and yet you still decided to make an attempt at calling me out for for being a naughty, lowly woman. That's really kind of sad.

As for your not being a female...the only difference that makes is in clarifying that maybe your issue isn't with me or even Tucker Max. Maybe it's more Freudian. I'm just saying. In the meantime, rather than exerting more energy into this exchange, you should hold off on your judgments and misplaced anger and begin the task of working all that out. Just remember: Let Go and Let God.

Also, just a quick edit: after re-reading your position on this book, looking at your profile and the past few books you've read...really, really look into that therapy. Even I won't read this book simply to hate it: Hos, Hookers, Call-Girls, and Rent Boys: Prostitutes Writing on Life, Love, Work, Sex, and Money


Ayhan Luck Kelly wrote: "My question is completely accurate and on track. Maybe re-read it again. I'll wait....

Hmm, ok. You are unable to understand. By the way, the majority of Freud's theories have been proven false. Won't bother you anymore, good luck.



Kelly Colouroflife wrote: Hmm, ok. You are unable to understand. By the way, the majority of Freud's theories have been proven false."

Yeah, I'm the one who doesn't understand. Also, by the way, Freud's theories weren't proved false simply because they can't be. You might want to study up a bit more on Psychoanalysis and not depend solely on innernet highlights.

Now, Good day!


message 7: by Mike (new)

Mike Chiraulo Hahaha Kelly your awesome that guy was a douche bag!


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